a word or two about cats

Subject : The difference between dogs and cats

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece
of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to
kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust
and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on
their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and
brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed
and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working
according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I
was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could
hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more
than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other
hand, has got to be an
informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is
assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....

EDITED: Moved Thread to Proper Topic - Sluff, Moderator