Struggling with my Mind

[ryosaki]

That's the biggest problem with my bp meds are that they sap my energy. I already have rough days from the kidney issues but I really believe the meds are the worst part about this disease as far as the side effects go. When I skipped that day I felt like I could run a marathon. I felt on top of the world. I had just accepted I would feel bad every day. When my nurses would ask me if I was short of breath I would tell them and explain it was a side effect from my bp meds and they would just ignore me.

I already started dieting this past week. I started out at 251.3 last Friday and this morning I was at 244.7. I know a lot of that is fluid from watching how much I drink. I also started walking. Walking doesn't bother me as much unless I have to walk up a hill which is next to impossible on this medicine but I know if I just keep going I will be able to get off it for good. My goal weight is 185. I'm 6'2" so that would be healthy for me. I'm just going to work at it all summer. I'm also being a lot more careful about how much I eat and what I eat.

When do you take your bp meds? Could you take them at night at the end of your day? or do you need them in the morning?

[BattleScars]

The Labetelol I take twice a day, once in thew morning and once at night. I have tried exercising after my 12 hours and before I take my next pill so the effect isn't so strong. It's funny, I notice the effect right away after I take it, I'll feel great and then I take it and 20 min later I'm dragging to do anything. Even just empying my PD bags seems like a huge chore and I get all out of breath. 

[Riki]

I've never had that problem with labetalol, though it hasn't been taking my bp down either, so maybe it just doesn't work on me

[BattleScars]

I need to just find something else that works. It's sad because it does do a great job of keeping my BP down but the side effects are disabling. I was trying to do a couple loads of laundry today and I felt like I was going to pass out. I can't do anything physical at all on lebatelol.

[jeannea]

There are so many BP meds available. Keep trying until you find the right one. Hopefully you have a doctor who will help you.

[Riki]

I think my biggest problem is that I just don't remember to take it.  My memory kind of sucks

[Sugarlump]

Hi Lovely Dialysis-buddies,

I'm wondering if you can help me?  I'm really struggling with my mental state during this process.  I'm on the transplant list but really don't know if I can cope with the wait.  I'm plagued by this feeling like I should be dead and while I'm here waiting for a transplant, unable to work I'm just a waste of space.  So much of my life has dissolved.... work, family, friends, physical strength, joy for life.... I feel like I just suddenly got elderly and life doesn't really want me anymore.  I had an amazing, wonderful life before CKF and now it's over and I can't imagine feeling healthy or positive or useful again.  This is so uncomfortable and I realise it's mainly my state of mind that is causing me to suffer, it's like my personality has changed since I've had this disease. I am on PD at home so don't see any other people on Dialysis.  Does anyone else feel like this?  Any suggestions about how to change my mind-state?  I wish you all well and am so glad that I finally found this site.  Cheers and Metta.  Muppy

 

Can I give you one tiny piece of advice.
Don't put all your hopes into the transplant solving your problems like a magic wand because it can bring other/more problems.
I always thought my life was on hold til transplant, but both of my transplants failed.
You soar high and your crash down.

So how do you survive a life on dialysis... with difficulty. with inner strength that comes from nowhere.
From humour and for me, the love and strength of a partner and supportive friends.
And fighting ... not letting the system change you. Be an awkward patient if necessary to get what you need.

And I wish you the best of luck. 

[Grumpy-1]

Amen Sugarlump     When your kidneys failed, your way of life change forever.  Face that fact.  As said, a transplant will not make your life revert back to what it was before kidney failure.  Yes you will be off dialysis.  But you will be on very expensive drugs for the rest of you life. And even the common cold could kill you if you don't take action and ignore it.  So as Sugarlump said, "inner strength that comes from nowhere.
From humour and for me, the love and strength of a partner and supportive friends."   Remember your mental state will go up and down like a yo yo.  Work to keep a positive state of mind.  For me, I've told some of my closest friends and family that my moods will shift from high to low back to high again.  So, when I'm feeling low and down I will call or go hang out with a friend (who understands) or tell my family and someone will be there to help - which may only be to listen to me rand and rave.   So, keep friends and family close by.  Another thing I try is to not think about "me" but to try to help someone else in need.  It maybe be posting some advice here, maybe going and helping a friend that needs a hand, or something like that.  If you are helping someone else, you won't be thinking of your problems.  That works for me.  Grumpy

[skg]

I need to just find something else that works. It's sad because it does do a great job of keeping my BP down but the side effects are disabling. I was trying to do a couple loads of laundry today and I felt like I was going to pass out. I can't do anything physical at all on lebatelol.

I had the same problem when I was taking HCTZ -- got on different meds and it got better. (But since my anemia has gotten worse, it's about back where it was.)

cheers,
skg