Thanks!!

[jjneyjr]

Thanks everyone for all the hope. I needed that in one of my darkest's moments!

 

Cheers,

[amanda100wilson]

Glad that you are mot in that dark place.  I understand that you don't want to end up like your mom, but Calphalaxis is not that common and if you were to do home HD, or longer, nocturnal in-unit your clearances would be better particularly.  why do you not want a fistula?  once you have one, it is easy to manage, and cannulating really is no biggie, once you get over the initial thing.  anecdotally, most people seem  :cuddle;to prefer a fistula over a catheter and the risk of infection is much lower.  the other alternative is a graft but the gold standard for dialysis access is really a fistula because it typically lasts longer, and you can also develop buttonholes which make cannulation much easier and less painful (although there is cream to numb the area anyway).  don't close your mind to possibilities out of fear, as that may not lead you to the best option of treatment, if you choose this over no treatment.  if you think that depression is coloring your judgement, suggest that you try to address this issue with some professional help.  it sounds like you may have some internal issues over your mom's death that you still need to process (i am not trying to psycho-analyze you; just my thoughts from reading your posts.   Personally I hope to see you around for a long time .    

[boswife]

  I too hope to see your around for a long time.  Just think, ya may get some more great years out of that body of yours and who knows whats to come unless ya live it    Blessings of life to you, and keep sharing.. We all go up and down, it's all welcome 

[GoingThere]

Jjneyjr, I was in your shoes almost 3 years ago. You can check my earliest post and you will see how the future seemed dark to me. Besides starting D on July 14th 2013, my then girlfriend left me 3 days after starting D.
It took me 3 months to get used to dialysis and to start feeling good.
And to be honest with you, I felt better on D than now with Tx.

Take care!

[kit78]

Hang in...sunny days are ahead.

Oh GoingThere...I hear you loud and clear.   When I was in the process of losing my transplant I was dragging A$$.  I felt sooo much better on HD.  I hated the weight gain and now, on HD have so far lost 45 lbs.  Have 65 more to let go of...LOL  Between HD and having my thyroid out ...it's like heaven being able to drop the weight.