The light at the end of the tunnel

[Mr Pink]

OK, so I saw one of the doctors at my hospital today. A chirpy fellow, he was. He gave me the once over, asked the usual questions and examined my last bloods. "You need dialysis," he says. "Sooner rather than later." He then predictably went on about the benefits of home hemo, as I sat there pondering the usual things we tend to think about when we're told news of this nature. I found myself sitting there thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm told that the transplant waiting list is about five years in Australia. I should consider myself lucky that in live in an age when such things are even possible. The light at the end of the tunnel is there, but it seems very faint right about now. Five years is longer than the duration of all but one of my adult relationships. It's equal to the amount of time Papillion spent in solitary confinement for his second escape from Devil's island. And it's longer than Fernando Torres' career at Liverpool FC!

But you know what, rather than sit here pondering how far off that light actually is, perhaps it would be more therapeutic to ponder life beyond the light at the end of the tunnel. In 5 years time, the Rio Olympics will have come and gone. New technologies will have been developed, making our lives even less pointless than they already are. John Rambo will have staged a one man war against an army of Emperor penguins in the latest instalment of that aging franchise titled; "Rambo; When Hell Freezes Over." A Kardashian is likely to be in the White House, and the new king of reality tv will be Justin Beiber, with Beibervision, although the most popular tv show will be "The Running Man!" Fuel will be uninhibitively expensive, with disease and poverty becoming wide spread in an ever increasingly over populated world, as democracies around the globe slowly crumble and become totalitarian regimes.

Oh crap. Perhaps instead of wishing the next five years away, perhaps I should savour this day as long as I can! Today after all really wasn't that bad!

My thoughts and best wishes are wish you all.

[billybags]

Mr Pink, Welcome to the site. You sound like a chirpy fellow, you are going to need to be. Have you been building up for a long time with kidney problems? Go through all the options before you make a decision about the type of dialysis that will suit your life style. Find out as much info about dialysis as you can     Light at the end of the tunnel, I wish I could see it. 

[Mr Pink]

Thanks for the welcome. Actually my introduction is in the introduction section. I wrote this today because today I was told that the big D is a matter of weeks away. I was feeling melencholy, as an ex would have described it, so I was blowing off some steam. And there's plenty more where that came from. The truth is, I feel pretty lousy. My foot hurts, cramp is preventing me from getting sleep, I feel light headed at different times of the day, and there is a metalic taste in my mouth I can't get rid of. And for the first time, I saw swelling in my ankles. Other than that, I'm staying pretty positive, especially as I can only just now start to feel a pain killer kick in. So I'm going back to bed!

[natnnnat]

This is the perfect spot for the blowing off of steam.  And you blow a mighty fine steam off.  Loving your bleak visions of the future.  Kardashian totalitarian presidents ay?  OR could you envisage Kim as PM of Australia - god forbid it!!! 

My husband is facing dialysis too, but he hasn't been told to start yet.  His creatnine is 590 (it depends on how you are going with other symptoms, and for the time being Gregory's other symptoms are 'alright').  What's yours?  Gregory is "lucky" because he has been through dialysis and a transplant once already, so while sometimes he curses fate, he at least has some idea of what's ahead and generally he's pretty pragmatic about it.  He prefers hemo to pd, but then again, he can't have PD anymore because of abdominal scarring.  Have you been over the options?  You know about the different versions of dialysis and all that? 

He says, he sits around on the computer all night every night anyway, may as well be on dialysis while he does it.  At other times, he says, dialysis sucks, renal failure sucks.   And it does!!! But probably not quite as much as Papillion's solitary confinement on Devil's Island. 

If you want another reason to be positive, bear in mind that the Australian system is different from the American system, so when you read posts in which people describe their in-clinic haemo treatments, keep an eye on which country they are from.  The American system, people do shorter treatments (about 3-4 hours?) at a faster speed... processing more blood per hour.  The faster the treatment speed, the more side effects people tend to get, the more cramping, dizziness, tiredness, etc... so dialysing in Australia is a big advantage.  Its a gentler, slower treatment which is better for you in the long and short term.  (I think England and Canada is a bit more like our system, not sure what speeds they run at).

[boswife]

This is one of those times i just sit and smile.  That probably doesnt sound very nice, but realy, it is.  When i read of peoples thoughts, and how they deal with things, it always inspires me.  It pleases me to see your 'dealings' and that sence of self, and sence of humor are the highlight of it all.  This stuff sucks but life is still yours to live and guide to where you at least want to head with it.  People do great things even on the big D, and i wish the very best for your life.  keep with us K.  Your a great booster,,,,,, even when your down--ish.  Everyone has so much to offer and im glad your comfortable to share.  You make me 'think', and re think,, and thats always a good thing..   
Oh,,, ps....... I do wish you didnt have to ever start D, but glad you came here to share with us, and hopfully get some help from us too    

[MommyChick]

Mr. Pink you made my day, reading what you wrote is so true!!
I have been on dialysis for 7 yrs now. Even though time may fly, it is way to long to be on dialysis!!
I have learned to accept that this is my life living with CKD & probably being on D the rest of my life due to my antibodies at 99%. So I make the most out of living day to day!
Glad you shared your story, made me smile
Good luck & God Bless
 

[Southpaw]

Keep fighting.  My neph has been telling me I need dialysis tomorrow for the last 2 years.  But I keep fighting it and I still feel pretty good.

[Fatkidney]

Mr. Pink, I hate that you're feeling so lousy but I hope it helps that you made me feel better.  I very much enjoyed your foretelling.  I so completely hope you're wrong. No offense.  I'll take my own self out if a Kardashian hits the White House. 

Feel better.

[Traveller1947]

I've said it before, Mr.Pink.  I like the way you think! 

I hope dialysis is far, far in the future for you!  All the best, as always.

[Mr Pink]

It's definately close, unfortunately. My appetite has gone out the window, and what little I've eaten in the last few days has come back up. Something that quack did say to me at the start of the week was that "the body is like a car, and your wheels about to fall off." Maybe I should go and see a mechanic instead! 

[lmunchkin]

Good one!

lmunchkin 
 

[Clara]

Thank you Mr. Pink.  You have also made my day.  I know I am close but not sure how much longer I will have.  Just started throwing up Tuesday.  I love the way you told your story.  Definitely entertaining.  More so than the idotic Kardashian clan.  I will have to move out of the U.S. if they make it to the White House. 

I understand what you mean when you say the life after Dialysis.  I try not to get too excited.  I know I have to survive to a transplant first but just the thought of curing my Diabetes even if for a short time with a Pancreas/Kidney transplant is amazing to me.  I have worried so long about every drink or piece of food going in my mouth and how much sugar or carbs it contains.  The thought of being able to just eat a healthy diet with out timing it or taking insulin is like jumping into a beautiful ocean being free.  Yup I am going to make to the light at the end of the tunnel.  I am stubborn.  I hope you are too.   

Do what you have to and make the best of what time we have.  Keep on fighting

Take care.
Christi

[AnnieB]

Love your sense of humor, Mr. Pink....   this disease really sucks, but the fact you can still regard it with your dry sense of humor gives me hope...my numbers are fluctuating, but I know I'm closer to D now than I was even at the beginning of this year. Hope I can deal with as well as you.

And I am on the same page here with everyone else as far as the idea of a Kardashian in the WH, though sometimes I wonder even now if I'm watching reality TV instead of CNN...

Anne