Frustrated with my boyfriend

[Annig83]

Hi All-

This is more of a concern than a rant, but still... my boyfriend has been diagnosed with kidney stones for 2 years now, he gets them very frequently.  This last stone was HUGE! So I finally convinced him to go to the urologist (MEN! Sheesh!).  Anyway, tonight he passed another stone, and he has his first appointment with the urologist tomorrow.  Now he's telling me he doesn't want to go, and that he doesn't care if he gets better... WTF??

(He was just recently diagnosed as Bi-Polar I too), and he's been soooo moody.  His mood cycles more than I can count.    This has been putting a lot of pressure on me, I feel like I'm at the end of my rope...

[bansix]

I was like that before renal failure. I really didn't understand the seriousness of my issues. Take him to a dialysis center so that he can see how serious it can get. If he thinks it's a hassle now, wait until his kidneys fail.

[jeannea]

What is it with men and doctors? Tell him you're driving him and just take him. Tell him he can whine but it's happening anyway.

[MaryJoe]

Did you manage to convince your GF to see the urologist?  Hope the appt went well.

MJ

[Annig83]

He went today, and has to do a 24 hr urine clearance... since I do one every other month, I snickered just a little bit when he told me and brought the jug in from the car...
I hope he continues treatment!  I'm glad he went.

[RichardMEL]

yeah but for guys it's much easier to do that 24h collection!!! I really feel for the fairer sex with having to use funnels or the like. ugh.

Anyway the thing I don't understand with this kind of attitude is that surely the obvious is that "if you do nothing about it it will probably happen again, and perhaps get worse - or lead to worse" - and given how painful kidney stones are (my brother had some last year and told me so!) you'd NOT want to repeat that if you can do something about it.

Look I'm a guy (obviously!) and I understand it's a sensitive region of the body (I sure as hell understand that more than the "I'm a man I have to be macho" kind of thing) but really if there's anything I've learned it's that docs see this all the time and they are there to help. Doing nothing could be very dangerous - getting it looked at, as embarassing as it may be, is way more important. Heck I've talked to docs about all kinds of topics that years ago I would have baulked at but not only did they not (openly) bat an eyelid, but they talked me through the issues and either set my mind at ease, or went from there in terms of sorting it out.

I now go by the mantra that I'd rather be safe and feel like a fool for worrying than do nothing, endure pain or whatever (at the very least worry and stress) and potentially make things worse due to inaction.

So I do hope he takes this situation seriously and works with the doc !!

[deniferfer]

I hope he continues to keep going to the urologist and gets this taken care of. My dad about 5 years ago had the same problem and did want to go to see the urologist. Really I don't know his reasoning of why he wouldn't go. But the kidneys stones got worse and he ended up getting  sick. I just remember that he woke up one morning he was very VERY sick and throwing up and could barly stand the pain. I said thats it you need to go to the ER and i called my brother at work to take him(I wasn't driving yet) Well got him to the ER and they said if we didn't get take him he could have died. We they were able to save my dad and he didn't have to go on D. ( I joked with him that sorry only on person in the family and D and I got that job) But after that my dad has had a whole chain of heath problems sense then. Was it cause from him not taking care of his kidney stones? Who knows...But It really makes me wonder.

I would tell you BF I know its embarrassing and it is hard to go to any doc that going to be look at and talking about that area. I get that!  But that is a lot easier then being in the hospital having to take care of the kidney stones or the risk of losing your life.   Best of luck to you