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Author Topic: sick again WARNING: RANT ON!  (Read 3486 times)
WishIKnew
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Alports, dialysis '07-'12,cancer'11,transplant '12
« on: May 20, 2011, 12:09:45 PM »

Some of you have heard much of this before - but here's my life since mid March

Years of being on PD, infection free!
Mid March - forced to switch to Fresenius Liberty machine
Second night - air in line - pain in shoulder all day
Third night - peritonitis - went immediately to PD clinic and treated with  21 days of anticiotics
After 19th day of antibiotics - bad pain again - admitted me to hospital for peritonitis - gram positive - no clear cause - 3 day hospital stay
About 2 weeks after I finished the 21 day antibiotic VERY sick again - admitted to hospital with gram negative infection - peritonitis - 7 day stay
Finished last day of antibiotics TODAY - and I HAVE A CLOUDY BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So very frustrated!  Going to the PD clinic in minutes for a culture and more antibiotics.... 

TERRIFIED of 
1. loosing my PD cath/ hemo/ fistula/dietary restrictions.....
2. another hospital stay - it's SO HARD on my husband and my son!!!!!
3. dieing
4.  messing up everyone else's lives
5  falling even further behind with the bankruptcy paperwork
6. not having a place to live/not helping with the move
7  all of my crap pushing my poor wonderful husband over the edge!

In the middle of all of this we are in the process of filing for chapter 13 bankrupcy (paper work ALL my job), are loosing our home, are looking for a rental, are packing boxes

AND - I'm inactive on the transplant list bacause of
1. infections
2. mass on left breast which I have an appointment with a surgeon next Friday to explore....
3. broken tooth - I saw my dentist last week and we are schedulling a crown as soon as she hears from my insurance company
4. "something" found on my ovary (when they did a CAT scan last time I was in the hospital) which I need to follow up on

I GIVE UP!   This is just TOO much!!!!!!  If God or whatever is trying to break me, consider it DONE!!!!!!!!!
I CAN NOT ghandle ALL of this!!!!!!!!
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Poppylicious
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WWW
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2011, 12:43:19 PM »
Oh, WIK.  How much crappiness can one person take?  *huggles* seem so ineffectual, but they're all I ever have to offer. 

 :grouphug;
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
venting myself online since 2003 (personal blog)
grumbles of a dialysis wife-y (kidney blog)
sometimes i take pictures (me, on flickr)

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
Tracy
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Loved the Movie!
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2011, 12:54:36 PM »
I'm so sorry that you are going through all of that!  BUT, only satan will steal, kill and destroy you.  God doesn't 'do anything of that nature.  You need to be praying to God for peace, some relief and help.  You CAN make it!  Just pray and hang in there.  You cannot do all of this alone.  If you feel you don't have anyone, look up and see that you have someone that can take care of it ALL.

 :cuddle;
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9/1990 Found out I have Type 1 Diabetes
7/2008 Told I have GFR 30
2/2009 Kidney/Pancreas Transplant
5 days later, both removed due to massive rejection
Back on List
2/26/10 Fistula placed
3/11/10 Told GFR 9
5/14/10 Started in center Hemo
Waiting on another Transplant
jeannea
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« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2011, 03:18:53 PM »
Your story makes me so sad. I have no good advice but I am truly sorry you have to go through all of this. Try your best to hang in there and make your doctors help you get better. :grouphug;
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willowtreewren
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My two beautifull granddaughters

WWW
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2011, 05:36:32 PM »
Just sending you hugs....

 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;

You are having to handle way too much!  :cuddle;

Wish there were something I could do.

 :flower;

Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
lsamen
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Lynda Samen
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2011, 06:42:33 PM »
I too am on dialysis.....In will Pray for you....Lynda
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Sincerely Lynda Samen
Inventor: Safe~T~Sleeve
jbeany
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Cattitude
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2011, 08:22:13 PM »
 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.
galvo
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« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2011, 12:25:48 AM »
 :grouphug;
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Galvo
kristina
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« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2011, 12:33:33 AM »

I am so sorry.

I send you my thoughts  :grouphug;

Kristina.
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Bach was no pioneer; his style was not influenced by any past or contemporary century.
  He was completion and fulfillment in itself, like a meteor which follows its own path.
                                        -   Robert Schumann  -

                                          ...  Oportet Vivere ...
Kay
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« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2011, 01:35:16 AM »
My dear girl,
You are certainly having to 'fight the good fight'. But I do believe God never gives us a burden which is too great to bear. Deep breaths and do this just one day at a time. Praying hard for you.
Lots of hugs,
Kay :grouphug;
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Darthvadar
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« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2011, 02:10:17 AM »
Oh No!!!!...

You poor thing...

My mum has had three bouts of Peretonitis... NOT nice!... Like yourself, she doesn't want to go back to haemo...

Hope it all works out for you...

Love...

Darth...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
del
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del and willowtreewren meet
« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2011, 05:10:01 AM »
 :grouphug;
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Don't take your organs to heaven.  Heaven knows we need them here.
rsudock
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will of the healthy makes up the fate of the sick.
« Reply #12 on: May 21, 2011, 05:18:07 PM »
Linda hang tough love. I know this disease is such a bear to deal with, plus you have so much on your mind finacially right now. It is so hard worrying that your are driving your significant other to madness with this disease. I know I worry about this too. Have comfort in the fact that we LOVE you and are pulling for you! Hang tough, keep on fighting!!

xo,
R
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Born with autosomal recessive polycystic kidney disease
1995 - AV Fistula placed
Dec 7, 1999 cadaver transplant saved me from childhood dialysis!
10 transplant years = spleenectomy, gall bladder removed, liver biopsy, bone marrow aspiration.
July 27, 2010 Started dialysis for the first time ever.
June 21, 2011 2nd kidney nonrelated living donor
September 2013 Liver Cancer tumor.
October 2013 Ablation of liver tumor.
Now scans every 3 months to watch for new tumors.
Now Status 7 on the wait list for a liver.
How about another decade of solid health?
billybags
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« Reply #13 on: May 23, 2011, 10:55:18 AM »
WishIKnew, how are things with you to-day, better I hope. Thinking and praying for you.
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Des
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« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2011, 11:51:30 PM »
For the first time ever I can honestly say:

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!!

I cannot give you advise because I don't have any for myself. But remember someone somewhere on the other side of the world knows exactly what you are going through and thinking of you.

Lots of luv

D :flower;
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Please note: I am no expert. Advise given is not medical advise but from my own experience or research. Or just a feeling...

South Africa
PKD
Jan 2010 Nephrectomy (left kidney)
Jan 2010 Fistula
Started April 2010 Hemo Dialysis(hate every second of it)
Nov 2012 Placed on disalibity (loving it)
kitkatz
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« Reply #15 on: May 26, 2011, 07:29:54 PM »
 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;

Some months are worse than others.  God bless!
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Quickfeet
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Mack Potato
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2011, 11:26:22 PM »
 :grouphug; I feel for you. This diseases and all the crap that comes with it... People tell me, "It could be worse." My reply is, "I know, that's what scares me." Try to remember, sometimes you just have to say F*** it! It's like being in a shitty raft on the rapids; hold tight, and do a whole lot of praying.
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Marina
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God Bless my donor family!! :)
« Reply #17 on: May 28, 2011, 12:11:14 AM »
I'm  so sorry  for everything you're  going  through,  but  remember  as  hard  as  it  all seems  "THIS  TOO  SHALL PASS"

 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
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"Anything is possible, if  you  BELIEVE....."  ~~~Joel  Osteen

"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift..... That is why it is called the present"

*************************************************
 Nov 1979 ~ Diabetes 
Apr. 2004- Nov 2010 ~ CAPD
Nov 9, 2010 ~  Received the  THE  GIFT OF LIFE at 
California Pacific  Medical  center  (CPMC)  in San  Francisco,  CA
Alisa
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« Reply #18 on: May 28, 2011, 12:23:55 AM »
Don't give up fighting  :boxing;.  Thinking of you, hang in there!
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PD since 2005
Waiting for transplant
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