just need to say it

[dyann]

ok  last few months very stressful been in hospital a few times,  left upper fistula is going bad havent even had it a full yr  the first two fistulas didnt work now they have put a back up one in the other arm,  I took in a homeless family in feb and evn though I am very tired and somedays barely can walk I cook clean and try and hekp them  but they are taking advantage and I know it but so tired I dont even have energy to ask them to leave and then i feel bad because they dont have any place to go.  My dr. told me that the extra stress is not helping me and recently I was hospitalized for  2 blockeages at 99% after only 5 months from testing last time and there were no blockages five months ago.  I am so very tired and there are days i DONT EVEN WANT TO SET UP MY TREATMENT BECAUSE i HAVE NO ENERGY.  I know I am all over the place with this post  I just really feel alone tired stressed you name it,  my heart Dr. even said he was worried about me I am only 47 I am a single Mom and still have fairly young children I need to be around  but the way things are going I may notbe around . tired so tired of  fighting.

[lmunchkin]

Wow, Dyann, you really have a lot going on and I don't see how you can go on like this!  You need help!!  Have you talked to your Social Worker?  Do you have an Older family member that is bold enough to tell these people to leave. Im sorry, but you are the one that needs the help because of this disease.  And you have children too?  Bless your heart! 

As much as it pains you to do this, cause obviously you are good hearted, you may have to ask them nicely to leave or else you will have to have them removed.  It is your home and you have that right!  That is what I would do is give them a choice and let them choose, leave peacefully or be forced out by authorities.

One thing is for sure, you can not go on like this!  Let us know, okay? Will be praying for you!   


lmunchkin     

[Alisa]

Hi there, we don't know eachother but I just read your post and wanted you to know that I understand how you'r feeling and that you are not alone in this.  There are support systems available here on IHD or with you hospital or the Kidney Foundation.  You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of others so I wouldn't worry about giving the people your staying with notice.  I hope your are feeling better soon and that your new site works out for you.  Sending you warm wishes.

[dyann]

Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it.I told them that there is two more weeks left of school and our agreement was they would have a place by the time school was out, but she is not even attemptng to look for a place so I did call her social worker and they are meeting tomorrow.  I just hope it doesnt make matters worse as I do not have the energy to battle with this family.  I know I took them in, but I thought it was the right thing to do, the good thing to do, but It was supposed to be short term.  You know the sad part is going into the hospital as much as I hate them, that week I went in was more peaceful than being home.  Now that is so sad. I mean everything is shot tp hell  my phos level is over 8 which is has never been high, my creatine levels shot from 3 to 7.4 my clearence is .044 and I am very anemic  I just feel like the nice part of me doesnt want to be nice anymore does that sound bad

[lmunchkin]

Absolutely not!  If you were bad, so what!  It is YOUR home, not their's.  The thing is, you took this family in when they had no other place to go and they apparently assured you that they would be out soon, right? If there time is past, you need to tell them that!  Look, you have enough on your plate as it is and with children to tend to also, makes it very hard for you. You do not need this kind of Stress!  It could kill you!

What good will that do your children?  It would be different if they were helping you to do things that need to be done, but did I understand correctly, that they are taking advantage of you?  That you do all the cooking, cleaning and caring for their needs as well as your children?

I respectfully disagree with Alisa's advice not to worry about giving them notice to leave.  Your Doctor told you of his concerns for you because of the stress over this family.  This is not good for you and you know it.  Give the ultimatum and let them make the choice.  As I said before, hon, it is your home not theirs!  If you are scared for some reason, make sure that your friends and family know what is happening just in case.  I tend to believe that their bark may be worse than they're bite!  But you never know.

Dyann, you are not a Bad person when you take a family in.  That is admirable! But to mooch off you is totally unacceptable! You held up your end of the bargain, but they did not.  If they don't leave, then have the authorities remove them.
Thinking of you and keep us posted, okay?   


lmunchkin     

P.S.  I bet it was a "vacation" in the hospital when you have the nonsense going on at home! When and if you do ever get this family out, please, do not take on such an endeavor again!  Your health is stretched thin as it is!

[boswife]

I hope that all will slow down for you and somehow you get a break.  You need to catch up on yourself and get some peace and rest.  You've done a wonderful thing, we have done that too, but!!!!!!!!! now it's your turn and they seem to at least have the 'health' to get to getten!! I hope it all happens soon for you before your own health deteriates even more.  Bless you for what you've given them, and now it's time for them to care for you and MOVE ON!!  sending  and best wishes... and 

[dyann]

Thank you so much   I am worried about how they will react but I have some friends that r willing to be here, I know that I can take on anymore after this,, my sister told me today that I need to start taking better care of myself  that I have taken care of everyone else  heck my job was in healthcare taking care of people  thats what I have done for yrs, but I am tired and just want to concentrate on me and looking forward to a transplant someday.  As much as I want to help people I know I just cant anymore  I thank you all for being so nice, I dont post here often I read  alot but it is nice to know when I need someone to talk to your here.

[Alisa]

Oh no! I just wanted to clear up a misunderstanding when I said `You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of others so I wouldn't worry about giving the people your staying with notice. ` I didn't`t mean don`t give them notice, just the opposite DO it! I meant to just not worry about doing it at all because you have to take care of yourself.  Thanks Imunchkin for pointing this out as I thought I was being clear but sometimes I guess I should proofread better (especially writing late at night) as not to give bad advice. 

[bette1]

You are a very kind person.  Please try to be as kind to yourself as you are to others.  This may sound harsh, but if the family doesn't leave you may need to get some authorities involved.  Good luck and I hope you feel better.

[lmunchkin]

It's okay, Alisa.  Sometimes I do that too!  Iam very guilty of not proof reading. Especially when I am tired!

lmunchkin

[woodsman]

Where are you at i'll come there and evict them for you!!! . Tell them you can not longer have then there and if they give you a hard time call police and have them removed. YOU come first then your kids.... I wish you luck.

[dyann]

Again thank you all so much  I know what I need to do Just waiting until school is out next week.  I really have no choice I simply cant take care of them and my family anymore  I mean I am here for my family I just cant have the extra people in the house oh and thier dog too, and that has been an issue in itself  What I am hoping is after they leave I can start feeling a little less stress and consentrate more on me and my children.  Again thank you all for making me feel better about my decision and just having someone to talk to.