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Author Topic: not going to dialysis  (Read 15990 times)
texasstyle
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« Reply #75 on: March 23, 2011, 05:29:47 AM »

Holy crap, I can't believe you re alive w/ that K level! My husband went as high 7.9 when he went into paralysis. He argues w/ me that "no, it was 7.8 and every little bit makes a difference with those numbers". lol  I said "Oh, honey, it just doesn't even matter at that point". Anyway. You make a very point and I do notice a difference inhim. Mostly he sleeps even more, and on occassion vomits often. Yes, I think bringing these things up will help him understand the difference in when he goes and doesn't.
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caregiver to husband using in-center dialysis 4 years
RichardMEL
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« Reply #76 on: March 25, 2011, 12:38:26 AM »

Sorry I also wasn't trying to tell TS what to do. The only thing I would add to the "discuss with hubby" topic as that it's great to let him do the talking and sharing etc but he may not WANT to talk about how he feels etc - he's probably sick and tired of people asking him that stuff, and even if he does want to share with his beloved, to communicate, etc he may not be emotionally, mentally be able to put into words WHY or WHAT in terms that would make any sense.

It's like this one time many years ago I started living with my then gf. On the surface it was fantastic - there I was in my own little flat with this girl who was awesome in many ways and it seemed like everything was set for mucho happiness. Yet, I felt it was *wrong* and it didn't feel comfortabel to me. My brain was telling me I was an idiot of course, yet the feelings continued and got worse, yet I simply could not pin down WHY I felt that way or what it was that was causing it or bugging me. In the end I had to tell her that I didn't think it was working. She immediately thought that meant I'd found someone else (!) and got very upset, and due to my inability to verbalise any reasons for my feelings I could sort of understand that!! I felt absolutely wretched at the time because I hadn't found anyone else (I wasn't looking or interested!!) but yet, all I could say was lame stuff like "It doesn't feel right" - well yeah, I'd think I was a loser for saying that too! It was only much later that it came to me what the "problem" was - it wasn't her, it wasn't even me that much.. It was that I had only recently moved out of homw myself and was still getting established in a new life in my own place. Suddenly I have another person there 24/7 and what I was feeling was that I had no place to "retreat" to - my own space if you will - and that at that time I clearly wasn't ready to be living with anyone else when I hadn't got used to living with myself. Of course, it was much too late by the time I figured this stuff out.

The other point that someone above made that I totally agree with is that when you're skipping D and toxins build up, it can cause confusion and a loss of mental faculties.. and this could definitely be contributing to TS' hubby's behaviour.

I hope things are better right now since this is a bit old now.
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
MooseMom
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« Reply #77 on: March 25, 2011, 12:44:53 AM »

That's true...he may not want to talk about it.  If that's the case, that's fair enough.  Those are not easy discussions to have, especially when you are not feeling well.  Such introspection takes more energy than a lot of us have.  Good point.
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
texasstyle
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« Reply #78 on: March 25, 2011, 04:17:20 PM »

To be absolutely honest we didn'ttalk about it this week. Each time he came home from D he went right to sleep for most the day. This morning he was very lightheaded. Took his pills and went rigt to sofa where he feel asleep with coat and hat on for a spell. He said they kept him a bit becuase his BP was low. Both numbers were very low. I don't know the numbers. Maybe is just tired of...being tired. I can see that but I still wish he'd try to see if can change the way he feels by changing his lifestyle. Just a try. He is making some steak right now for dinner. I'm not sure what else. He is I must say an excellent cook. If he gave it a shot he might find it's a little fun to be creative with the renal. Then he's really tired after he cooks. And the cycle begins..
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caregiver to husband using in-center dialysis 4 years
willowtreewren
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« Reply #79 on: March 25, 2011, 04:21:58 PM »

TS:

 :grouphug;
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
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Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
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