Treats

[MooseMom]

Do any of you make it a point to give yourself a special treat so that you can offset some of the bad stuff in life?  My mom had been planning a move to a retirement community in CA, but in the end, she decided that she just wasn't physically up to it (she is on dialysis as well).  To assauge her disappointment, she bought herself a new car.  I couldn't believe it, but I thought, "Well, good for you."

While I was volunteering at our local hospital, the surgical liason told me that she has regular therapeutic massages at the Wellness Center affiliated with the hospital.  I was looking at their website last night and was thinking that a massage, say, every other month, might be nice.  The past several years have been so hard, and the past month has been truly excruciating.  What with trying to get on the transplant list and waiting for my kidneys to finally give way and having surgery to create a fistula, I would like to have something nice, a treat of sorts.  But "self-indulgent" is anathema to me, and that's not always a good thing.  I thought that maybe breaking down and giving myself the occasional treat, like a therapeutic massage, might help me through the anxieties I'm experiencing.  What do all of you do to treat yourselves when things get a bit rough?

[paul.karen]

MM,
Get your massage.  Once a month even.
And good for your mom for buying a new car.  it is the small things or sometimes the big things that can make us feel better if not normal so to say.

I bought and built a Baja.  An old 73VW made to go off roading in the dirt and mud.
And i use to go to vintage VW shows where i won several trophies.  But the last two years i just dont have the energy to go to the shows.  Sadly they are generally on a sunday which would make me washed out for work Monday.

Ps.  Get your massage 

[monrein]

I absolutely do get massages and pedicures and I plan to get back to an old tradition I used to do every year with a friend, until my last transplant failed.  We go to a spa for two nights and eat lovely meals as well as de-stress.  The only limitation is money and even so we manage to get two for one deals so do save.  One year I felt unable to afford the usual two days away so we did a spa day, with just a massage and a facial but we could use the facilities all day.

I don't consider this self-indulgent at all.  I think of it as self-care, stress management and an important way of reminding myself that I matter.  There are many things that I would do for fun (nice restaurants are one example, trips away are another) when I wasn't on D but that I did far less due to diet restrictions, when I was dialyzing. 
If you can afford the treat, do it, and enjoy every moment.

[KICKSTART]

Hell yes ! and whats more it doesnt have to be expensive! My downfall is nail polish and rings! I can grow my nails long naturally! so if i see a nail colour i really like i just have to have it ! The same with rings but rather than go for expensive i go for unusual , ive just bought a blue sandstone one and as you would expect its dark blue but has zillions of tiny gold flecks in it . Dialysis or not you shouldnt need to justify treating yourself ! I always used to think twice about treating myself before kidney failure , now ..well lifes to short !

[MooseMom]

I bought and built a Baja.  An old 73VW made to go off roading in the dirt and mud.
And i use to go to vintage VW shows where i won several trophies.  But the last two years i just dont have the energy to go to the shows.  Sadly they are generally on a sunday which would make me washed out for work Monday.

An offroad VW?  That sound so very cool!  I really hope that soon you will have the energy to return to the shows since they gave you so much pleasure.  Could you go for just a shorter period of time on a Sunday?  I hate the idea that you have to miss out on something you really enjoy just because of your stupid kidneys.

Monrien, I'll start my own massage tradition if you go back to yours!  Deal?
KICKSTART, I did recently buy a new OPI nail colour called Mermaid (it's a tealy-turquoisey hue) and another called "Leaf Him at the Altar" (mossy green), so I'm ready for sandal wearing weather.

[SkyDancer]

I bought and built a Baja.  An old 73VW made to go off roading in the dirt and mud.
And i use to go to vintage VW shows where i won several trophies.  But the last two years i just dont have the energy to go to the shows.  Sadly they are generally on a sunday which would make me washed out for work Monday.

Got to love those VW's! We have a '79 Camp-mobile van  ( Germany built with Westfallia pop-up camper top)( doesn't run though )My family and I used to go to a VW show ( just as spectators ).But I grew up around VW's of all kinds.


Our "indulgence"  now is to go to new and used bookstores,you never know what kind of "treasure" you might find there.Everyone is entitled to a treat now and then.So Go For It

[acougan]

i treat myself to this treat - ais-kacang every now n then, it tastes heavenly~ fluid restriction be dang!

[KICKSTART]

MM how much are OPI over there ? they cost a fortune over here !! About £14 a bottle 

[kitkatz]

I look for bargains in thrift stores and antique stores. It relaxes me.  I don't have to buy a thing just look around at things. I collect unusual boxes too and books. Sometimes I eat dessert first.

[Wayne]

MM...you should definitely treat yourself.  One thing I have learned through all of this is to enjoy life as much as I can.  My wife and I have always enjoyed using our popup camper.  When I started feeling bad we decided to get rid of it because it was sitting around.  Last year after I started dialysis, I felt good enough to start camping again.  We bought another popup and camp whenever we can!

[MooseMom]

MM how much are OPI over there ? they cost a fortune over here !! About £14 a bottle 

Gosh, I got mine for about 9 bucks, certainly not 14 quid.  That's outrageous!

[Brightsky69]

Once in a blue moon I'll treat my self and have a little hot fudge ice cream sunday. Or maybe some string cheese.   

[jbeany]

Treating yourself is very important!  I'm with Kit - my favorite entertainment is thrift stores and bargain shopping.  The used bookstores are always worth a stop, too.  I spend all day grubbing around in bargain bins, then go for a nice lunch, and calories be damned!  I can entertain myself for a whole day for less than $25.

[MooseMom]

Well, I did treat myself to a nice lunch today...

[Bub]

Do any of you make it a point to give yourself a special treat so that you can offset some of the bad stuff in life? 

I am ashamed, embarassed and sorry to say that I do occasionally treat myself by skipping a day of dialysis.
  I know, let the bashing begin.  But my friends, dialysis keeps me alive but does not give me a reason to live.

[Darthvadar]

As a carer, I'm learning how important it is to give myself little treats.... Even if that's just a bit of 'Me' time....

The forty-five minutes out of the house every morning is technically to walk the dog, but if I'm honest, it's my chance to just get some air,  clear my head, and set myself up for the challenges of the day ahead!...

I meet a friend for a meal once a month or so.... Small treats, but they certainly play their part in maintaining my sanity (or what passes for sanity!).....

Take your treats, Folks.... Whatever they are... Enjoy!.....

Darth...

[peleroja]

I not only give myself treats, I've learned to take pleasure in the tiniest of things.  Few days ago I was dining out and added Equal to my ice tea.  It made such a pretty pattern as it cascaded down over the ice cubes.  Just a brief moment of pure out beautifulness!

[Rerun]

I have found a local fast food restaurant that has non-dairy milk shakes and ice cream.  I looked at the bag of dry ingredients that they mix with cold water and then put into their machine and it has some potassium and some phos, but not like diary. 

                           

[MooseMom]

Oh Bub, you are the naughty boy, aren't you!

I found a place that does smoothies without dairy or corn syrup.  I stick to the berry smoothies as I figure that they're better than the ones with mango, orange and banana.  They are rather lovely, so I did treat myself to one.

I am so used to denying myself things that to treat myself feels wasteful.  That's really a load of sanctimonious old bollocks, so I do need an attitude adjustment.  I've rather lost the ability to find beauty and joy in simple things because for the past five years or so, CKD has made my life very scary, and if I allow that to continue, then going through the trials of dialysis will seem so purposeless.  I think the real culprits are the fatigue and depression that come with CKD but are so insidious that you don't recognize them when they infect you.

[RichardMEL]

Bub I'm not going to bash you, but I am going to remind you that the only person you're doing a disservice to is yourself. Not to mention that missing dialysis sessions on a regular basis is not very good for your toxin level, but also you'll be marked as non compliant in some respect. That's your choice. I guess if you see missing dialysis as a treat then that's one way to treat yourself! for me I'd be way too worried about putting on too much fluid if I missed a session.

I'm with what everyone else has said - treating yourself to whatever - a chocolate fudge sundae (yum!) or a iced coke, or shopping, or a massage, or whatever is important - for both patients and caregivers. As Bub mentioned dialysis isn't a reason to live, but it helps you to stay living so you can enjoy LIFE. Part of that is doing things you want!

Next weekend I have booked a night away in a hotel with a jacuzzi and all that.. just for me. Just to get out of the hoime, go treat myself to something relaxing. That's exactly the idea.

And yes, Darth, definitely important for caregivers too - the stress on carers is as much if not more than the patients because of the worries they have, concerns and that overall "helpless" feeling you guys must have at times seeing those you love in this kind of a situation and feeling there's not much you can do to help. So having "me" time - walking the dog, getting a facial, shopping, whatever it is is VERY important. A stressed out and overloaded carer is no good to anyone - let alone themselves.

You have to find a balance, and do everything in moderation (as in I do not suggest a fudge sundae every week!!!!).

[MooseMom]

No hot fudge sundae for me...I want a baked potato or a bowl of Cuban Black Bean soup.  Oh, I so miss beans!

[kitkatz]

Finding ways to be content with your life  is god. Happiness can be over rated. I find being content with the way things are and my life is better.

[calypso]

Bub, you're supposed to treat yourself after being good! That means you go to dialysis every time and then you can eat more of those things they say you're not supposed to , because your blood is cleaner because you didn't skip!

I saw this recipe for banana cupcakes...I know I'm not supposed to because of the potassium of bananas...but...just a little? 

I'll put them up on a high shelf but if one happens to fall in my mouth by accident...

[MooseMom]

I had two little Dove chocolate Easter eggs yesterday.  That was the first chocolate I'd had in years!

[jennyc]

ii definately believe in treats. I believe in finding the silver lining in every dark cloud, it's the only way i've survived and retained a sense of humour. (my friend was diagnosed with diabetes at 31 - type 1 and isn't coping becuase she refuses to find her happy place). To me being able to get out and do something nice, motorbike ride, boat ride, movies (gold class with a big choc sundae to share with friends) or just a simple lunch... anything that is a break from the routine helps to keep my spirits up. I'm alone all day normally so i try to do things with hubs and son, it's nice. Even just going to the Pub for a bistro dinner is nice (with a really nice icey cold glass of beer..... only a midi though)