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Author Topic: feeling sad today...but tomorrow is a new day  (Read 2241 times)
pamster42000
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« on: June 26, 2009, 06:08:11 PM »

I'm sitting here thinking about my daughter, Sarah who passed away in 2007 from complications of ESRD. I was always told that time will help the healing process of grief...but I think of her every day...just miss her SO much.  I miss her smile and laugh. She had so much courage to face all that she went through. I know she isn't in pain or suffering now..she's in a better place. There just seems to be an empty spot in my soul that no one can ever fill.

Just wanted to express my feeling to someone...



Edited: Fixed subject line error -okarol/admin
« Last Edit: June 26, 2009, 10:23:00 PM by okarol » Logged
willowtreewren
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My two beautifull granddaughters

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« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2009, 06:45:54 PM »

And we are here to listen, Pam.

I feel sad for you, but can't begin to imagine what you feel. I hope it helps just to express it and have others to share with.

Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
Hanify
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Hadija, Athol, Me and Molly at Havelock North 09

« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2009, 06:49:11 PM »

2 Years is just a blink of an eye Pam.  You have every right to feel the anguish of losing your lovely daughter.  Don't beat yourself up about it - there's no right or wrong time frame for this.  You just keep pouring out your heart here.  That's the beauty of IHD.  My dad died in 1992, and me and mum frequently either laugh or cry about things and memories.  It must be so much harder for you when you know what a hard time your daughter had.  I'll bet you had some funny times too though - feel free to share some of the stories with us.
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Diagnosed Nov 2007 with Multiple Myeloma.
By Jan 2008 was in end stage renal failure and on haemodialysis.
Changed to CAPD in April 2008.  Now on PD with a cycler.  Working very part time - teaching music.  Love it.  Husband is Paul (we're both 46), daughter Molly is 13.
dwcrawford
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Getting the heck out of town.

« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2009, 06:51:36 PM »

I can't imagine having something to say to comfort you.  I would say though, that 2007 was not that long ago.  I wouldn't think the healing process could even started yet.  I'd say that you need to grieve, to feel sad and realize that it is a natural thing for you to do. 
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Come to think of it, nothing is funny anymore.

Nothing that I post here is intended for fact but rather for exploration into my personal thought processes.  Any slight, use of words with multiple connotations or other percieved insults are totally unintended.  I reserve my insults for private.
monrein
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Might as well smile

« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2009, 06:52:14 PM »

 :grouphug; :cuddle; :grouphug;
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
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New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
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okarol
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« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2009, 10:24:28 PM »


I am so sorry about Sarah. It breaks my heart to think of losing your daughter.  :cuddle;  :cuddle;  :cuddle;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
Jean
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« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2009, 11:16:18 PM »

Losing a child is just not right. My son passed away in 1972 and I still grieve for him, most especially on his birthday and on the anniversary of his death. Hang in there, it gets better as time goes one. 2 years is really still just like yesterday. Trust me, it does get better. It never gets good, just better. Talk whenever you feel like it, and cry whenever you need to. Hugs, Hugs, Hugs.
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
pamster42000
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« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2009, 07:50:35 PM »

I'm in a better mood today. Just alot of weird things happened the other day that just depressed me. Well the neighborhood kids are shooting off fireworks and my dog, Foxy is getting nervous. Better go let her in the house. Thanks for talking me through a sad day.  :flower;
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dwcrawford
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Getting the heck out of town.

« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2009, 07:54:43 PM »

See, I think you have a perfectly good reason to be sad.  You should not apologies but rather get comfort wherever you can.  You should visit the chat room more often.  It get silly but they can stop for something serious at times.
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Come to think of it, nothing is funny anymore.

Nothing that I post here is intended for fact but rather for exploration into my personal thought processes.  Any slight, use of words with multiple connotations or other percieved insults are totally unintended.  I reserve my insults for private.
Sunny
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Sunny

« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2009, 08:03:27 PM »

No need to hide your feelings. It must be so hard to lose a daughter. As a parent, we always think we whould never have to bury our children. It just doesn't seem right. Your daughter was very special to you and she will always have a special place in your heart.
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Sunny, 49 year old female
 pre-dialysis with GoodPastures
glitter
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« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2009, 10:17:09 PM »

Honey, I know of grief  , I wish I knew what to do to eleviate your pain.  (((((((pamster)))))))<----hug
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Jack A Adams July 2, 1957--Feb. 28, 2009
I will miss him- FOREVER

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RCC
nephrectomy april13,2006
dialysis april 14,2006
BigSteve
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« Reply #11 on: July 02, 2009, 03:46:31 PM »

The grief never fully goes away. You don't think of it constantly as you do now, but it pops up
at certain times and also for no reason. My son's birthday was three days ago, June 30th. He would
have been 42 which is twice the age he was when he died in a motorcycle accident. The pain of thinking
of him and what he would be like now is almost unbearable even now.  Joy in the memory of your
daughter, think of the wonderful times together, revel in the good memories. Peace, Pamster
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