I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: karen547 on August 13, 2008, 09:33:25 AM

Title: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: karen547 on August 13, 2008, 09:33:25 AM
Just a quick note to tell everyone I wont be coming to IHD for awhile. I feel as if my opinions right or wrong are being attacked. I am just uncomfortable and feel as if  I cannot express my opinions anymore.



Be back soon


Karen
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: vandie on August 13, 2008, 10:02:38 AM
Good grief!!

If you post, you can expect someone to disagree with you.  Plan on it. 

This happens a few times a year where someone gets their feelings hurt and leaves the board.   Please think it through before you leave in a huff and regret it.

We are family here and oftentimes disagree.  Epoman created this board for all opinions to be heard, whether we agree with them or we do not.

Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: devon on August 13, 2008, 10:59:50 AM
Sorry for all that Karen.  I certainly know how it feels.  The written word is so often open to interpretation and, for that matter, a "wrong" one.   We all risk upsetting someone when we write.  I hope those you feel were attacking you didn't mean to be that obtuse.

I wish we could all read each others' minds and know what they're thinking... then again, maybe that's not a good idea. 

Anyway... as much as you don't want to have people disagree, you risk it any time you post.  I admire people who have thick skins and let such incidents just roll off their backs.  I try to be as much like them as I can.  You have to "take it with a grain of salt", they say, whatever that means.  If someone gets upset with me on the "internets", I just look the other way and keep moving forward.  What I find is that often there are people who agree with me but they don't want to join the fray and choose sides.  Simply, internet battle suck!

Please come back when you are comfortable with things.  I look forward to hearing from you.

-Devon
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: stauffenberg on August 13, 2008, 11:02:51 AM
Please stay, Karen!  Nearly everyone hates almost everything I post and is not afraid to say so, so I don't want to be here all alone as the only person being attacked!  Misery loves company.
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: twirl on August 13, 2008, 11:17:06 AM
Karen, stauffenberg is right and for once I agree with him -- I often cry after reading his posts about having children--- but he has the right to have any opinion he wants---- please stay------- we all disagree and agree, it is life--- please reconsider---Twirl
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: paris on August 13, 2008, 11:20:25 AM
Stay Karen.  We are all emotional, passionate and sometimes opinionated but we all are on the same journey.    One member once told me that we all have to remember that for the most part everyone is dealing with pain, depression, disappointment,etc so we may not always say the right thing or have it come out the right way.   :grouphug;

Stauffenberg, you know I love your posts.   :cuddle;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: willieandwinnie on August 13, 2008, 11:49:59 AM
Karen, please reconsider. The greatest thing about this site is everyones opinion. This world would be a boring place if we all felt the same about everything. If you really feel like you need to take a break from us, make it short, we'll miss you.  :cuddle;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: pelagia on August 13, 2008, 12:02:46 PM
I agree that the diversity of this site is one of its greatest strengths.  If you are willing to express an opinion strongly, you should be willing to accept someone else's strong opinion as a response. Hope you will stick around!
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: Rerun on August 13, 2008, 12:10:22 PM
Karen, everyone needs a break now and again.  I know you'll be back, because this is the only board that will tell you the truth even if it hurts.  I'm not referring to any of your posts as I'm not reading everything anymore. This board is just too big.  But, I read what I can and post my opinions.  Take them or leave them.

Staff.... I enjoy all your posts.    :cuddle;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: devon on August 13, 2008, 01:41:49 PM
Karen, I just got done listening to Epoman's podcast where he talks about why he started IHD.  He started IHD because he wanted a place where people could be free to express themselves without censorship, without using profanity and feeling free to speak with REAL feelings, positive and negative.  I would venture to say he would not be happy that your voice is not being heard.  Please reconsider.  You deserve to be heard. 

-Devon
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: okarol on August 13, 2008, 03:04:00 PM


If I left every time someone criticized me (directly or implied) I would have left a long time ago. I have always been glad to see you participate Karen, and hope you always will.
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: Deanne on August 13, 2008, 03:15:49 PM
I know I'm one of the people you're upset with right now. I wish you wouldn't leave just from being upset though! Just because I don't agree with what you said doesn't mean I think less of you as an individual.  :cuddle;  People *will* sometimes disagree with you, with me, with just about everyone! It's just part of life. Whatever your decision, I wish you well.
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: boxman55 on August 13, 2008, 03:19:58 PM
Hey Karen, we want you to stay around. your thoughts and opinions are always appreciated even though there might be some that disagree with some of them, you never know how much you might be helping someone that is reading them. Don't go...Boxman
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: kitkatz on August 13, 2008, 03:21:45 PM
Please reconsider and stay.  Every family has disagreements.  It is okay to disagree. If you feel you were attacked please let the admins know so it can be dealt with.
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: thegrammalady on August 13, 2008, 03:32:50 PM
i will be sad to see you go, please reconsider. if not feel better about us soon and hurry back. please make sure at least one person has your email so we can know you haven't fallen off the face of the earth. better still know that we really luv you and stay.
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: G-Ma on August 13, 2008, 03:39:04 PM
Karen, please stay.  I'm fairly new here but I have worked with so many people long enough to know that all the differences are what make this world such a wonderful place.  Just think about all the new things you learn here from everyone and I'm sure we all learn from you.  I feel I can come here and take from everyone what I need and hopefully give back in some form.
Ann
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: petey on August 13, 2008, 03:42:51 PM
karen,
I have had my feelings hurt here, too, so I know what you're feeling now.  Like you, I was simply sharing MY opinion of MY particular situation at the time, and .... WHAM !! out of nowhere, I felt like I was being attacked by another IHD member (sometimes more than one).  It's not a good feeling.  My husband Marvin says I often "wear my feelings on my sleeve" and read more into another's words than I should, but, hey, I'm a pretty intuitive chick, and usually what I "read" from another's words are the way they were intended.  That probably doesn't make you feel any better, but I just wanted you to know that I empathize with you.

But, look what you've done...Look at the response you got from Stauffenberg -- the one IHD member I usually disagree with the most --  He said...
Please stay, Karen! Nearly everyone hates almost everything I post and is not afraid to say so, so I don't want to be here all alone as the only person being attacked! Misery loves company.

He sounds sincere, caring, and even a little humorous!  I really, really, really LIKE that side of Stauffenberg, and I thank you for bringing it out of him.  If you leave us, we might not get to see the Stauff-ster like this again; that would be a shame.  (Private note to Stauffenberg -- I'm teasing here.  Don't be offended.  You know I love ya!  :flower;)

I say take some time (but not too long) to step back and catch your breath.  Say to yourself, "That person didn't really mean to hurt my feelings.  That person didn't really mean to hurt my feelings.  That person didn't really mean to hurt my feelings...."  Then, come back tomorrow or Friday and pretend like it never happened.  Keep posting your opinions.  Keep sharing your thoughts.  Keep being you (because you are unique, special, needed, and appreciated here more than you will know).

Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: karen547 on August 13, 2008, 04:06:02 PM
I have just been going through so much lately, I guess I overreacted. I am not mad with anyone, I know sometimes I have strong opinions about things and say things that sound bad. I will stay. I guess me being an emotioal 23 year old girl doesnt help things lol. I appreciate everyone here, and im glad to have you all as my 2nd family!
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: boxman55 on August 13, 2008, 04:53:52 PM
I have just been going through so much lately, I guess I overreacted. I am not mad with anyone, I know sometimes I have strong opinions about things and say things that sound bad. I will stay. I guess me being an emotioal 23 year old girl doesnt help things lol. I appreciate everyone here, and im glad to have you all as my 2nd family!
Awesome that is great news, Karen ( I will mail you the 20 bucks shortly  ;D ) just kidding I didn't realy bribe her ...Boxman
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: pelagia on August 13, 2008, 04:58:29 PM
great!  :cheer:
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: monrein on August 13, 2008, 05:01:06 PM
I just read this thread and am glad that you're sticking around Karen.  You belong here and I would miss you, and any other member who decided to leave, especially for having your feelings hurt.  I'm sorry you were upset but glad you've reconsidered leaving. :cuddle;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: petey on August 13, 2008, 05:29:30 PM

Awesome that is great news, Karen ( I will mail you the 20 bucks shortly ;D ) just kidding I didn't realy bribe her ...Boxman

Box -- Mail me the 20 bucks and I won't tell that you bribed Karen to stay.   :shy;  and also  >:D
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: petey on August 13, 2008, 05:41:06 PM
Karen,
Glad you stayed -- you won't regret it.   :cheer:
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: G-Ma on August 13, 2008, 05:41:35 PM
thanks boxman.  the 20 you faxed me just came through  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: lola on August 13, 2008, 05:43:41 PM
 :cheer:
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: KT0930 on August 13, 2008, 05:53:40 PM
I'm late, but still happy you decided to stay.  :bandance;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: Sunny on August 13, 2008, 06:33:16 PM
Karen, you have a right to be heard.
You are young and dealing with kidney disease so you will have a different perspective than those of us who are older with this disease.
Your points are important and provide us views we need to be made aware of.
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: petey on August 13, 2008, 06:47:59 PM
thanks boxman. the 20 you faxed me just came through :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

Boxman -- You've got some explaining to do!!!
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: del on August 13, 2008, 07:04:20 PM
Karen glad you decided to stay.  It would be a very boring world if people didn't have disagreements sometimes. It makes things interesting!!
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: Chris on August 13, 2008, 10:04:13 PM
You sound like you need some comedy, a heavy influence in comedy. Comedy has gotten me thru what I have gone thru. Just gotta takes some things with a grain of salt and laugh it off. Go to a comedy show or do something that relaxes you as much as possible each day. I may not agree with some members, but at other times I respect their input. The more crap you can put up with, the stronger you will become (couldn't remember actual saying) Whatver post bothers you, don't hold it in, just roll it off your shoulders and go to the next one or something else to get your mind off the person that pisses you off.
Just my  :twocents; or if I was in Europe, it would be worth more :rofl; :rofl;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: rose1999 on August 13, 2008, 10:52:02 PM
Only just caught up with this thread and I'm pleased to see it has a happy ending.  We all get fraught sometimes and either say something we don't mean or take something the wrong way but it's often just a difference of opinion not a personal attack (but it can seem that way) that's the one fault of a forum, no-one can see the expression on your face or hear it in your voice.- Hey Karen families are like that but you can't leave your family (us) - we'd miss you so much, thank you for staying :cuddle; Please keep posting.
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: thegrammalady on August 13, 2008, 10:59:40 PM
fantastic!
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: Joe Paul on August 14, 2008, 02:24:27 AM
Karen, glad you decided to stay  :thumbup;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: Ken Shelmerdine on August 14, 2008, 03:33:47 AM
Karen I've just read this thread and I'm so glad you decided to stay. I'm sure those who have disagreed with you did not do so with any malice. As someone once said If only we could be judged on our intentions and not our actions. :grouphug;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: RichardMEL on August 14, 2008, 03:45:17 AM
Karen do I need to flirt with you more to make sure you stay with us??? Maybe I have neglected you a bit??? I'm sorry  :cuddle;

I haven't read any posts where people have said anything bad to you or disagreed with you, but everyone is entitled to an opinion (as long as they're not rude about it). This community is here to support its members - and that includes you - I'm sure nobody has meant to upset you personally..

so stay... because if you go I might have to track you down and flirt even HARDER!!!!!   >:D
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: devon on August 14, 2008, 07:55:50 AM
Karen,

Good news! I'm glad to hear that.  Epoman would be pleased too, I'm sure. 

If ya'll have a moment, listen to the podcast or listen to it again.  I really feel like he would be proud to know how well the site has been operating and with the members.  He built this site to help people with kidney disease and it's really continuing to be what he intended.

My only caveat is to stop before his son gets talking.  It pulled my heart right out of my chest to hear that little one talking about his Dad.
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: kellyt on August 14, 2008, 09:02:43 AM
Glad you decided to stay.    I wasn't nearly as emotional at 23 as I am now at 40.   See what you have to look forward to?   :o    Then again, at 23 or so  I was just being diagnosed with this crappy disease, felt great at the time, was totally not worried because I felt so good, and my outlook was good.  Then the disease started doing it's thing.  I'm sure when I start dialysis I'll be able to understand more of what you were/are going through.

Again, I'm glad you decided to stay!   :flower;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: Romona on August 14, 2008, 09:14:35 AM
I think this thread just shows how we are like family. We are very important to one another. If we didn't disagree, we'd be phony. We care about each other very much or it wouldn't upset us or hurt us when we don't see the world the same way. I love all of you! Glad you stayed Karen.  :)
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: paris on August 14, 2008, 11:39:57 AM
Karen, glad you are sticking with us :cuddle;    I have been in your place, so my best advice is to not dwell on the replies that hurt you.   We are on the same path together, but we are in different "shoes".  We will agree on most things, but it is ok to disagree also.   I think sometimes it gets a little out of control, and our feelings do get hurt.    I am afraid that I now fall into that "old" catagory (how did that happen :rofl;)  And I have a busy life.  But, I would do anything to free time for someone who has a specific schedule and needs that must be met.  I would do anything for all the young group to be free of this disease.  I would give my life if it made a difference.  Now, my kids would disagree and tell everyone they still need me and plan on many years of time together.     I am sorry you have to deal with all of this in your 20's.  It isn't fair.  Two of my children have had tumors and it painful to watch the fear teenagers have, not knowing what will happen.  They both had surgery and are both good, which I am grateful for.   How is your Mom doing?  Give her an IHD :grouphug; for us!   And one for you :grouphug;
Title: Re: I'm going away for a while.
Post by: Ang on August 14, 2008, 05:55:53 PM
karen


              glad  you've  decided  to  stay,hows  your  mother  doing  at  the  minute?