I Hate Dialysis Message Board
TRIBUTES FOR MEMBERS LOST => Rememberance For Past Members => Tribute for "NolaGail => Topic started by: susanfulks on May 21, 2008, 07:31:09 PM
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Just wanted to let you know that Enola McNeal Wigly passed away on Monday May 19th from a broken heart..........
EDITED: Moved to Tribute for NolaGail - Sluff/Admin
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who is this.... :(
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I'm sorry she passed away. Please go to introduce yourself and tell us more.
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Please let us know if she was a member here or what the relationship is. Sorry for your loss. Please introduce yourself in the introduction section here: http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?board=14.0
Thanks
Sluff/Admin
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I "goodsearched" this name and found this...
WIGLEY, Enola Gynn McNeal, 49, a resident of Deatsville, died Monday, May 19, 2008 in a local hospital. She was born April 4, 1959 in Tallassee, AL, the only daughter of the late Charlie Woodrow and Hazel Mae Parrish McNeal. She graduated from Tallassee High School in 1977 and graduated from Troy University in 1984. She was a member of Cain's Chapel UMC, where she played the piano for the early service and had served as the church secretary. She was employed with the Fine Arts Dept. of AUM as an Administrative Assistant. On Oct. 8, 1983 she married David Jefferson Wigley, III. They have one daughter, Erin Wigley (& Clay) Ferguson, one grandson, Clayton Mitchell Ferguson, Jr. and one unborn granddaughter Annabelle Grace Ferguson. She is also survived by her mother-in-law, Helen Wigley; grandmother-in-law Mary M. Brown; Sisters-in-law, Mary (Alan) Christy and Lorene (Jeff) Adams; aunt, Juanita Ballard; uncles, Linwood Helms and Larry Glass, and several nieces and nephews and cousins. Graveside services will be held on Sunday, May 25, 2008 at 1:00 p.m. in Cain's Chapel Cemetery with Rev. Ronnie Beardon officiating. Pallbearers will be Allen Harris, Allen Culpepper, Jason Culpepper, Mark Benson, Rick Robertson, and Allen Dennis. Visitation will be from 5-7 p.m. Saturday, at Gassett Funeral Home. In lieu of flowers, contributions are requested to the American Kidney Foundation.
AS it is the same name and date and references the AKF, I figure this is the Enola Wigley being brought up by SusanFulks. So young! It's a shame. BTW, Deatsville is in Alabama.
My condolances to the family and friends of Enola Wigley.
-Devon
PS. the program "goodsearch.com" is like google but you can select a charity that receives a penny for every search you do. Give it a try. Instead of making money for google, use goodsearch to make money for a non-profit. My searches benefit Pretty Bird Woman House in North Dakota - a shelter for Native American women.
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I'm afraid that it looks like this was an IHD member: NolaGail. How terribly sad. :'(
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Oh that's so awful! She had a donor lined up and I believe was hoping to get a transplant in the next few months. RIP NolaGail. :'(
Thanks for figuring it out devon and xtreme.
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Very very sad.
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R.I.P. NolaGail
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Oh how sad. NolaGail, you will be missed. Thank you to Devon and xtrememoosetrax for finding the details and letting us know. :grouphug;
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Another sad goodbye...
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R.I.P.Nola
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:'(
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I wrote to Susan, who started this thread. She wrote back:
"Yeah we all called her "granola".....or nola gail. Thank
you so much for your sweet kind words.....you have no idea
how much that means to me. It would be great if you could
spread the word of her death to everyone on the site. The
people here meant alot to her.....i just wanted you to know
that."
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R.I.P. Nola Gail. Thank you Susan for letting us know...........another sad loss for us all and again someone young. I hope it's some small comfort to her family and friends to know that we will all miss her.
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May she rest in peace. :grouphug;
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Hugs to her family. . . :grouphug;
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I hate this bloody disease! I'm tired of it taking so many people we love and care about. R.I.P. Nola.
Adam
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Rest in peace Nola Gail. :grouphug;
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May God bless you in your spirit life Nola Gail.
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NolaGail's cousin Susan sent this note today:
Sorry....it's been a very upsetting and busy week....i
couldn't remember if i notified you guys or not.....i have
absent brain syndrome (teehee) I don't know where to
start.......Nola was not only my cousin but we were very very close
(we called her granola). She came to us in January saying
that her husband of 23 years served her with divorce
papers. I still can't understand why David did that....when i
asked him he said that Nola was not sick and that she
wouldn't clean the house and everything was filthy and nasty....i
responded by saying that they both worked and they should
do their house tasks together! I don't know if he was using
that excuse to hide something or not. I never figured
that one out......but Nola was devastated.....she was
definitely sick and was under incredible amount of STRESS.....and
then David comes along and makes her life even more
stressful. Anywho......Nola was slated for a kidney transplant in
June. She started staying off and on with us while she
went to work and found a very reliable lawyer to help her
with the divorce (David wanted Nola to pay the outstanding
debts....the house payment....and pay for HIS divorce
fee.....while she is thrown out in the middle of the street with no
where to go.....but we said not to worry.....we would help
her and she could stay with us. She felt so happy and
peaceful and very relax at our house which i thought would be
important in getting her body ready for
surgery....physically and emotionally. Meanwhile the divorce is becoming more
of a circus with her daughter adding more to it. Nola
loved her grandbaby...doodabug....and Erin is expecting
sometime in July. But when you have ALL those people living
under one roof.....it just can't be good for her well-being.
She was staying with us more than staying at her residence
in Deatsville...and she went home one weekend (i think it
was the last weekend in April) to attend a family function
at her church. It was on a Saturday. By Sunday morning she
started having seizures (she didn't go to work that
preceding Friday because she was "nausiated" and she threw up a
couple of times on Saturday before leaving...and she was
hunched over like she was in "pain" in the abdominal area.
She told me it was a gas bubble that got stuck in the port
cartridge.....but i just didn't buy that. So she goes home
and the circus is getting bigger and out of
control......Sunday morning she was having seizures.....and was rushed to
the emergency room. She spent Sunday night...Monday
night....and Tuesday night in ICU. Then she was feeling better
and they moved her to a regular room on Wednesday. But that
started the dialysis (she had not started dialysis to this
point and she was hoping she would not have to do it before
getting the transplant).....but everything changed in the
ER.....they started dialysis right away. Her blood sugar
was over 400 and her blood pressure was high. So now the
dialysis is a reality. Plus they think she had a slight
stroke because she was a little "wobble" when she walked (when
they brought her in to the ER the first time she could not
use her arms...legs...hands...etc)She stayed a week in the
hospital doing tests...she was released on Friday to
David....and he brought her over to us on Sunday so that we could
start the PD dialysis on Monday. The dialysis just was
NOT being done because she was soooooo sick....she was
constantly throwing up and couldn't keep anything in her stomach.
By Thursday i was extremely concerned about her and
decided to take her to the ER again. Her dialysis doctor said
she had pancreitis along with a kidney infection. Nola was
not doing real good at this point. They put her back in
the ER and started the dialysis.....she was in a private room
until Monday.....and then back into ICU. By Wednesday she
was heavily sedated because they hooked a feeding tube in
her nose and they didn't want her to pull it out. By
Friday she on oxygen. By Saturday night.....she had a few
seizures....and then she went flat-lined....but her heart
started back on it's own...and she went flat-lined again...but
her heart started back again. On Sunday when i went to set
up camp for the family at ICU.....she was on a
respirator...her eyes were fixed and dilated...her blood pressure and
other vital signs were way low....and her brain activity was
gone. The Doctors still don't know what is wrong with her.
Finally David said that he did not want her to stay on
Life Support if she was already "brain dead" and the
ventilator was the only thing keeping her alive. I agreed....i
knew that Nola would not want to be laying there....when she
was already gone anyway. They took her off life support on
Monday the 19th and she never took another breath.
I really don't know what happened....but i do know
this...when she was laying in bed in her room at my house...i went
in there to watch TV with her....she started crying and
saying that she was very very tired and she good not go
through life without David. I just think her body was really
tired from all the stress of the divorce and starting
dialysis. It was just too much for her to take.....and that is why
i believe she died from a broken heart. She just didn't
have the will to live without David. End of story. Thanks
for listening.....she would want you guys to know all this.
........
:cuddle; Thank you Susan.
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Oh my! I think that is the saddest thing I have ever heard! It made me cry (and rarely does that happen since my Lexapro was upped!). Please let her family know that they are in my prayers. :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
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:'( This is so sad. I pray for stength for her family :cuddle; and hell for her husband. >:(
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May God bless this woman in her next life.
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This is so sad. All my condolences to the family. Rest in Peace, Nola Gail...
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what kind of human being is David? This hurt me so much, though I am glad you shared it with us. This is so unfair! I thank you for being there for her in her hour of need. :cuddle;
Please let us know how Erin is doing. And tell us about the homegoing. Is there a memorial website we can check into?
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Thanks for filling us in on the details Susan. What a great support you were to her and it sounds as though you really understood what she was going through. I'm sure that was important to her, especially given the inability of her husband to understand let alone be supportive. I'm so sorry that Nola had such a tough time both physically and emotionally. That's a lot of pain.
As awful as David's actions were on the surface, my guess is that he will experience a lot of guilt in the years to come and I hope that he will be able to make peace with himself. If Nola loved him but he was unable to cope with her illness that's a tragedy and unfortunately it's not all that uncommon. The spouses who stay and are supportive and help us patients to really know that we are far more than the symptoms of our disease are the rare ones. They are heroic in my eyes and when I was much younger, my rational side almost wanted to set my husband free to continue doing the things we had always wanted for both of us. I was not nearly so selfless however and somehow he wanted me anyway but these things can be very very complicated.
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Everything aside, I have had pancreatitis once and that was the worst pain I've ever experienced, that alone could have killed me I was told. Add that to the rest of her health issues and she just didn't have a chance. High Triglycerides can be one cause of pancreatitis, mine were over 2400.
Definitely a sad story, but thanks for being there for her in her final days. :grouphug;
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:'(
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How sad, this is something you read with a lump in your throat. What a heartless bastard David is for abandoning Nola when her need of his Love & support was so great facing a transplant.
Her suffering is over & now his begins & he deserves it.
Susan, there is a special place in Heaven for you.
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I don't know what to say. It almost makes me feel glad to be alone.
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May the peace blessings and the mercy of Allah( god) be upon you, your family,and your loved ones. I know that this is one of the hardest things that a person or a family can go through, but always keep her in your thoughts and prays as we all will do
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Susan, thank you so very much for sharing the whole story with us. How incredibly sad. You are a special person and a true angel. I am sure NolaGail was grateful for all of your support. I am sure you will miss her very much. David, on the other hand, well------- he will get what he deserves one day. I think many of us relate to the part " just thinks she is lazy", but it is hard to explain the depths of fatigue even to those who life with us. I know many have also lost their spouses because they couldn't handle having a "sick" spouse. Thank you for giving her a calm, peacful place to stay. She was fortunate to have you. My prayers are for all her family and friends going through this time of grief. :grouphug;
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We would love you to think of yourself as part of our IHD family. Please continue to post - this family has a very large heart, and we wouldn't want to lose a caring person like you. :grouphug;
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rest in peace, NolaGail.
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What a sad story....I am glad she had you.
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:bunny: Just wanted to "fly in here for a few minutes" and tell you guys how much your kind words....thoughts....and prayers have helped us through this difficult time. Nola would have been so happy to see all her friends leave such wonderful messages. I wish everyone here could have met her in real life.....she was one of a kind....and she had so much love for everyone and animals especially. She was such a special person.....and she was sooooooo proud of this web site because as she got sicker and approached the kidney transplant......and then the transplant was cancelled and she was training for PD.....this website with all you wonderful people gave her so much peace and a quite understanding of this disease and illness. Nola got sooooo much support and answers and peace and comfort and alot of laughter and happiness. I will never ever forget all you extraordinary special people who brought so much sunshine into Nola's life before she passed.............it truly was an honor for her to be a part of such a great bunch of people who loved her in such an amazing way. We are doing much better...and miss her greatly...but i know she is around me...i can feel her sometimes....and since she was such a "witty" person.....there are phrases....or quotes....or stories that i come across on the computer or in reading material.....and i just want to pick up the phone so bad and share it her........i can still hear her laugh!!! She was of great joy!! :bandance; :bandance; she loved the banana.......
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We were all blessed to have known her.
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any time any one who has registered here it is a sad day
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There is so much pain in this world. You never know what the person standing next to you is really going through. I too hope that NolaGail is in a better place. As for David, I agree with Monrein. At some point it's going to hit him and it will be a heavy burden to bear.
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Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. This is a special group of people and we really do care for each other. Anytime you want to share stories, please post. :grouphug;
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I'm so sorry about this... I don't come as often here .. I have had alot of math to do.. But I feel horrible when someone dies.. even if I didn't know them personally... I know how hard it is to lose someone I love.. And it hurts me to know someone else has to go through that...
Sometimes I feel we tend to forget the danger involved with what we "do"... Even though I'm as I like to call a "practical risk taker.." I always try to try things once.. so that I can say I did... I may be afraid to my very core.. But I try to do it anways.. Since I truly believe in never having regrets.. and living life to the fullest.. Fear should never stop you from living life.. But sometimes when something big happens like my needle slips out a bit and my bed space looks like some gruesome murder scene.. or someone at my dialysis codeing... It reminds me that I may not come home to see my dog and cat greeting me at the door... toys in tow.. Or finish that horrible book my tutor is making me read.. and luckily maybe that book on my nightstand that has been there for a year no less... It is something that scares me more than anything.I may have not known Ms.Wigley personally.. But I hope her loved ones can feel a bit better knowing we mourn along side them... Like soldiers with mourn a loss of a fellow fighter.. :grouphug;
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In getting ready for my first dialysis, I have looked to the fact that perhaps for once, I'll have the time to sit and write those plays that have been forming in my head over the last couple decades. I'd like to pen a script titled, "The Death of Enola Wigley" that might tell her story so that others will come to understand ESRD and kidney disease. Although I was not priviledged to know here, I hope I can do her justice so others might come to know her in some small way.
-Devon
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That sounds like a good title.
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Devon, What a wonderful idea. We'll be looking forward to reading your scripts when you are ready to share. I think NolaGail's family would be touched by the title.
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OMG!
What a sad story. Enola, god bless you and grant you the peace you deserved.