I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: carson on December 16, 2007, 04:34:53 PM
-
Sex.
It never enters my mind any more. I'm not happy about it. How can I fix it? Any women out there tried any of those "viagara" type things for women?
-
Oh do i dare even go there? This can be bad, verrrrry baaaaad, (but in all good ways) :) :2thumbsup;
-
Dialysis diminishes the body's level of sex hormones, and unless you want to get into all the complications of finding an endocrinologist who is willing to deal with the side-effects, dosing subtleties, and complications of hormone replacement therapy, that is the end of the story. Unfortunately most dialysis patients are never offered any treatment for low sex hormone levels, no doubt because the nephrologists assume that these cases are already complicated enough. Women are luckier than men, though, since 60% of men on dialysis not only lack libido but are also impotent.
-
Once transplanted does your libido return in any amount - male or female?
-
After transplant it does to an extent, but some of the drugs kind of Zap it again.
-
WTF??? My husband's not going to like that answer!!! :-\
-
does it all depend on age???? b/c my libido never waned? i started dialysis when i was 21
-
EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD[/i]
I'll be honest here. I don't really honestly know if I have ever had a sex drive. I got dx'd with Lupus at age 12, and was put on prednisone for 6 years straight (not to mention the 5 years after my first transplant) in that time period and I was told that prednisone has something in it, or releases something into the body that resembles something your body is supposed to naturally release to get you "horny", and your body don't since it thinks it already has. So, this was why I think I never got "horny", or had an even "cum" at ALL, in my sexual life. I still had sex, obviously I have 2 kids... I was a virgin until I was 19, since I didn't want it.. and I only really did it, because I didn't want to be left out or thought of as weird. When I did do it, I sometimes got "wet" a little and enjoyed it some, but for the most part I didn't enjoy it, maybe because there was no pleasure in it for me. Sometimes it was even painful for me, and I had to use LOTS of lubricant because I was always dry.
I only went on dialysis at age 20, so dialysis didn't have a role for me... but I was going through ESRD a few times starting at age 14. After my first transplant, I remained still not interested in sex but did it to please my significant other. Now that I have had my second transplant, and do not have a significant other, I have not had sex since 2005, and don't crave it, want it, or think I'll have it anytime in the next 10 years.
I am trying to find a doctor to see who will help me with this issue with the use of hormones as that has been okay'd by my transplant doctor. I wish anyone who deals with this good luck and if you find an answer, please share.
-
from: Journal of American Society of Nephrology
Sexual Dysfunction in Uremia http://jasn.asnjournals.org/cgi/content/full/10/6/1381
In summary, sexual dysfunction is a common finding in both men and women with chronic renal failure. Common disturbances include erectile dysfunction in men, menstrual abnormalities in women, and decreased libido and fertility in both sexes. These abnormalities are primarily organic in nature and are related to uremia as well as the other comorbid conditions that frequently accompany the chronic renal failure patient. Fatigue and psychosocial factors related to the presence of a chronic disease are also contributory factors. Disturbances in the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis can be detected before the need for dialysis but continue to worsen once dialytic therapy is initiated. Impaired gonadal function is prominent in uremic men, whereas the disturbances in the hypothalamic-pituitary axis are more subtle. By contrast, central disturbances are more prominent in uremic women. Therapy is initially directed toward optimizing the delivery of dialysis, correcting anemia with recombinant erythropoietin, and controlling the degree of secondary hyperparathyroidism with vitamin D. For many practicing nephrologists, sildenafil has become the first-line therapy in the treatment of impotence. In the hypogonadal man whose only complaint is decreased libido, testosterone may be of benefit. Regular gynecologic follow-up is required in uremic women to guard against potential complications of unopposed estrogen effect. Uremic women should be advised against pregnancy while on dialysis. Successful transplantation is the most effective means of restoring normal sexual function in both men and women with chronic renal failure.
(follow link above for full article)
------------------------
from: Columbia University Medical Center
Life After Kidney Transplantation http://www.columbiasurgery.org/pat/kidneypancreastx/life.html
Sexual Activity
Sexuality is an important part of who you are as a person. It is more than sexual intercourse. Sexuality involves how you feel about yourself as a man or woman, the giving and receiving of sensual (feeling) pleasure, the desire for closeness with another person, and the release of sexual tension.
A person's sexuality is affected when they have kidney failure. This is caused for a variety of reasons. Men may experience impotence (problems getting or maintaining an erection) and a decreased sexual drive (libido). Women's menstrual cycles may become irregular or stop completely.
Some patients take blood pressure medications that can interfere with sexual function. These medicines can cause drowsiness and fatigue, in addition to decreased sexual drive, menstrual cycle irregularities, and/or decreased vaginal lubrication. Sometimes, even though the body functions normally, the sexual experience is not enjoyable. Some patients have found talking to a counselor helpful and this can be arranged by the transplant team.
Kidney transplantation can improve some aspects of your sexual functioning. Chronic fatigue should diminish and make sexual life more enjoyable. Men will typically have fewer problems in gaining and maintaining an erection. A woman may resume her menstrual cycle and pregnancy is often possible.
After your kidney transplant, however, some things may not get better. You may still need blood pressure medicines and these may affect your sexual functioning. Talk with your doctor or nurse if you are concerned about your blood pressure medicines. Your physician may be able to change your medication to minimize or eliminate side effects that affect your sexual activity, while still controling your blood pressure.
Sexuality can also be affected by the medicines that you take to prevent rejection if they cause certain side effects. These might include developing a "moon face," acne, bruising, and/or increased body hair. If a person feels less attractive because of these changes, he or she may feel less interested in sex. Talking with your doctor or nurse about how to diminish the side effects can help.
It is common for transplant recipients to resume a more normal lifestyle, including sexual activity, as they recover. Sexual function may not have been an important part of your life before the transplant, but it may now be higher on your agenda. It is not unusual to worry about something that was unfamiliar in your recent past, but is now taking on new importance. You may also be concerned about the safety of your new kidney during intercourse.
Women using immunosuppressant medications can develop urinary tract infections with intercourse because they are more prone to infection, and because of the proximity of the vagina, urethra, and anus. To avoid infections, it is important to wash well after bowel movements and to wipe from the front to back. Urinating before and after intercourse and drinking a lot of water can help to prevent urinary tract infections. Symptoms of urinary tract infection are burning while you urinate, smelly or cloudy urine, a fever, or frequent urination. Contact your local doctor's office for proper diagnosis and treatment.
Even though you may not be having regular menstrual periods, it is still possible to become pregnant. It is important to use some type of birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancy. The recommended choices are a diaphragm, sponge, and/or condoms. Used correctly, with spermicidal jellies or creams, they are very effective. There is a higher risk for developing a urinary tract infection if a diaphragm is used. If you have questions or concerns about birth control, talk with the transplant team.
-
WTF??? My husband's not going to like that answer!!! :-\
Ditto :-\
-
hope things turn out ok for ya...
-
and decreased libido and fertility in both sexes.
(
hehe... never had the decreased fertility. :lol; My kids are 11 1/2 months apart. 8)
-
I lost interest quite a while ago too .. but its all good because im single now!!! Now maybe if Prince Charming was to walk through the door i might be tempted !!!
-
Gabriel Danovich, "Handbook of Kidney Transplantation" (Philadelphia: Lippincott, 2001) p. 215 notes that in 2/3 of men, libido is restored to normal after transplant, but in 1/3 it is not, and can even be diminished from dialysis levels.
-
What's sex? I tend to agree with Angela. I was diagnosed with kidney disease when I was 9. I'n not on dialysis yet, but I've never really had a sex drive.
-
Women's menstrual cycles may become irregular or stop completely. <<<<----------- This was supposed to be a "quote".
I wish!!!!!!!!
-
Women's menstrual cycles may become irregular or stop completely. <<<<----------- This was supposed to be a "quote".
I wish!!!!!!!!
Mine are very irregular... sometimes I don't have mine for 3-6 months at a time then sometimes I have them every month. :lol;
-
I've been trying to keep my mouth shut about this BUT, :P I wanna know what i have to take to slow my *ahem* libido down :P I have been on dialysis for 4 years and so far, its still in overdrive ::) (not that Sam is complaining) ;D BUT i am scared for it happening (stopping) cuz of all the action he is getting now, i hate to tell him it will eventually stop :-\ :'(
-
I lost interest quite a while ago too .. but its all good because I'm single now!!! Now maybe if Prince Charming was to walk through the door i might be tempted !!!
Prince Charming shares a bachelor pad with Easter Bunny. :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;Women's menstrual cycles may become irregular or stop completely. <<<<----------- This was supposed to be a "quote".
I wish!!!!!!!!� �
I had the opposite happen. I had heavy bleeding for about 5 weeks. In one weekend I lost two units of bloods. I'm ok now I had an endometerial ablasion done. :)
Seriously, things do get better after transplant. :bandance;
Susie I just don't know what you've been drinking but pour me a double! :rofl;
-
I've been trying to keep my mouth shut about this BUT, :P I wanna know what i have to take to slow my *ahem* libido down :P I have been on dialysis for 4 years and so far, its still in overdrive ::) (not that Sam is complaining) ;D BUT i am scared for it happening (stopping) cuz of all the action he is getting now, i hate to tell him it will eventually stop :-\ :'(
It may not eventually stop for you, as everyone reacts to dialysis different.. you could be one of the exceptions and some others are. You go girl!!! :)
-
Do you think that we could some how add the word sex ( or lack of ) with dialysis. Maybe it would get more attention and people would have a better reason to be a donor. Just thinking. How about die-sexless instead of dialysis !!!
-
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; "Sorry I can't make it to your party. I will be at die-sexless until noon."
I like the way that sounds. ;D
-
I envision a new TV commercial...
The picture of a beautiful woman comes up...(pick any of our IHD hotties)...
and the voice over says this...
"Hey...you...see this hottie? Would you like to tap that? Suuure you would...but you can't, because she's on dialysis, which translated from Latin means "die sexless." Without a new kidney, she's just not gonna want to knock boots with anyone.
But you can help...you have two good kidneys...give one up for the chance to play hide the salami with a hottie just like this."
Also do a beefcake male version...watch donors start lining up!!!
:rofl;
-
LMFFAO :rofl; :rofl; KR Cincy, i love the way your mind works, lol, your killin' me smalls, your killin meeee :rofl; :rofl;
-
:rofl; you guys are too funny for words :rofl;
-
that is just too funny-
But you can help...you have two good kidneys...give one up for the chance to play hide the salami with a hottie just like this."
it sounds like the father in grumpy old men- he asked that woman in the grocery store if she wanted to play that!!!
-
Great , so were setting up a new business . Services free , all you do to is pay with a kidney. Will we have to pay taxes on this ? I'm sure the government will get in on it and find some way to make us pay !!! :2thumbsup;
-
Would you like to tap that?
:lol; :rofl; :rofl; Hilarious!
-
I envision a new TV commercial...
The picture of a beautiful woman comes up...(pick any of our IHD hotties)...
and the voice over says this...
"Hey...you...see this hottie? Would you like to tap that? Suuure you would...but you can't, because she's on dialysis, which translated from Latin means "die sexless." Without a new kidney, she's just not gonna want to knock boots with anyone.
But you can help...you have two good kidneys...give one up for the chance to play hide the salami with a hottie just like this."
Also do a beefcake male version...watch donors start lining up!!!
:rofl;
:lol; :lol; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; Your killing me. :rofl;
-
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
-
Jenna has mentioned low libido. Her nephrologist is researching studies with hormone replacement and transplant patients on immunosuppressants. It will be interesting to see if he finds anything related to women and this issue.
-
My wife says my sex drive has drove off, and when momma is not happy ain't no body is happy! :boxing;
-
I feel lucky because I have not struggled too much with libido issues. Of course I was much younger (26) when I first went on dialysis and then felt super well with my transplant but even now I get a lot of comfort from sex. I feel lucky because I never got negative messages about sex and I used to even have terrific conversations with my grandmother about it. We both thought it was a very good thing although we disagreed on a few details.
However, I think that sex and intimacy is a huge issue for many many people in our culture and that goes even for those without ESRD. Especially in relationships of any duration, but at any time really, it isn't my experience that both people always feel in the mood at the same moment or want the same things at the same time. But even if I don't need sex or much feel like it on a given occasion I love the feeling of making my partner happy and vice versa. His orgasm is quite irrelevant to me if he doesn't feel like having one and if I don't feel like one there's no reason for him to be uncomfortable or antsy. I quickly discovered that taking the pressure off about feeling that I always had to be in sexual sync with my partner really freed me up to enjoy the whole business and in the process of pleasing him I often would find myself feeling "hey, me too". I also think that the media sells us a very false idea about real people's sex lives. Many perfectly healthy but stressed out people are too busy, too preoccupied or just too tired to find time for sex which makes them similar to people on dialysis.
The other thing is the huge range of the strength of the sex drive in human beings. The most important thing is being with someone who is somewhere near you on that continuum. I see sex as a lovely way of connecting with a partner but of course human beings are complex and sex can so easily become the dumping ground for resentments and a host of other issues.
None of what I say here in any way diminishes the fact, and it is a fact, that ESRD affects libido and complicates our lives in so many ways.
-
I'm not UP for it. :yahoo; haha get it?
No, seriously, my doctor (male) asked everyone to leave the room so we could speak.
I was like , "uh-oh now im in trouble."
He asked while making an up motion with his fist if i needed help with sex.
This caught me off guard and so my response was totally truthful.
I said,"i really dont have the urge for it now."
He insisted and suggested i took pills if i needed them.
He offered viagra and libido stuff.
I never really took him up on it.
But in retrospect i should. I wouldnt want my gf left wanting.
Side note. I told my gf about it and she said jokingly that the Dr. got one good look at her and saw that I NEEDED to take those pills.
:)
-
I tend to have more of a sex drive if I keep my blood levels up with Epo. I didn't have a problem once I had the transplant and also exercise seems to help. Right now though... blaaaaah.
-
Now that there is such an extensive campaign in the US to reduce the dose of EPO patients are given on dialysis, the problem of low potency in males and low libido in males and females is only going to get worse. But at least the tax bite on rich folk to pay for Medicare will be reduced, and that's the main thing.
-
Well I went thru a major "nobody will want me with a tube sticking out of me" type of thing after my first transplant failed.
I actually went SEVEN YEARS without having sex. And the funny thing is - I didn't miss it.. all too much. Of course, I made out witha guy or two but I would never let it get further than that.
Then.. last summer I met someone, and we hit it off and we were um, "doing it" almost every other day for about 3 months. The first time wasn't easy.... I mean, it was like I was a real life born again virgin.. But then it got easier and things were able to um, flow naturally.. (minus the big o on my part.. which is a whole nother thread altogether). Anyway, it could all just boil down to wanting what you cant have for my particular story, since that guy and I are no longer in a sexual relationship.
But to get back on the original topic.. yes, I still sometimes hunger for sex after being 7 years on dialysis. The problem is, I just don't have anyone to fulfill that hunger! haha. :shy;
Edited: Fixed smiley icon - okarol/admin
-
I'm not even on dialysis yet and my sex drive is dead, gone, kaput, zilch, etc, etc, etc. And we haven't even been married a year yet (1 year May 12th tho :yahoo; )! My poor husband. :(
-
Whilst the sexual difficulties of male dialysis patients are often neglected, those of female patients are almost completely ignored. As yet, there has been very little research carried out into the sexual difficulties of female dialysis patients. The largest study was a survey of 99 Italian female haemodialysis patients. Compared to women who did not have kidney failure, the dialysis patients had sex less often and were less able to have an orgasm. Also, most patients noticed a loss of sex drive.
If a young woman is not having periods, research has shown that, with hormone replacement therapy, sex drive is often improved. This is in addition to the other benefits of hormone replacement therapy.
Some women with kidney failure are deficient in testosterone. Although this is normally thought of as a male hormone, it is required, in small amounts, to play a part in female libido (sex drive).
Sex life frequently returns to normal after a successful kidney transplant.
There's more info here: http://www.kidney.org.uk/Medical-Info/sex-problems/loss-sex.html
The nephrologist said that testosterone is often prescribed for women, even after transplant, but he is still looking into the effect of hormones while on immunosuppressants.
-
This is a little embaressing, but what the hell, right?
I'm kind of a sex maniac. I liked to do it all the time, and frequently did. When I went on dialysis the first time, I noticed my sex drive decrease QUITE a bit, especially for a 24 year old guy. When I had my transplant, after everything healed up - I was a maniac. My sex drive was high, but I'd often need Viagara to get an erection. No biggie. Besides, it's a fun pill to pop. Seriously. If you haven't asked your doctor for it, and you need a little help - DO IT.
My recent return to dialysis (last year) has decreased my sex drive to a large degree - which has brought problems to me and my girlfriend. She's just as sexually voracious as I was before dialysis, and she often thinks "it's her" when I turn down sex, when in reality it's often due to complications from being on dialysis. She's a nurse, too, and understands my condition quite well - yet, heh, often can't stop just simply being a girl who gets turned down. We've gotten better now, but it was an adjustment for sure.
Sex is an important part of feeling alive - and feeling alive is important to surviving dialysis. I know how bad and weird it feels to loose sex drive, and I hope in the future they will consider this for patients more, medically speaking.
~Steve
-
I dont know Steve-o...........i still see myself having better things to do. But its probably my lack of health which dictates my drive.
For example, Id rather have a good nights sleep then to "lose" sleep. Thats just whats important for me right now. My gf seems to
be okay with it. I guess its just an individual choice.
-
oh yeah, Steve-O if im wrong and my gf is not okay with it I dont want you nowhere near around her!!! :rofl;
-
Steve-O, this is also a little embarrassing but what the hell, right? With the fabulous advances in sex toys these days you can still participate in meeting her needs so she doesn't have to feel rejected at all. You'll probably enjoy this to some extent although of course it's an adaptation to the situation. Many ways to skin a cat (and to reach orgasm too) and I agree with you about the feeling alive part. Some guys feel "replaced" where the toy issue is concerned but there's also the flirting, the talking about sex that make it an interactive sport and most importantly there's your girlfriend's eternal gratitude. If I don't feel like sex but my partner does that's easily taken care of (so many possibilities there) and I end up feeling pretty darn needed. And alive too.