I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: kitkatz on December 12, 2007, 10:22:21 PM
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I was recently PM'd by a member, who shall remain nameless, who has the opinion that my ranting and complaining is not appropriate for this forum. If I have offended anyone, I am sorry, But many of you know the hell I have been through. I believe that it was Epoman's intention that IHD is a safe place for us to express ourselves. What do you all think?
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You've certainly never offended me! I thought that was what IHD was for...a place for those of us with kidney disease to rant when there isn't often another alternative.
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Kit, anyone that knows you has seen what you have been through the last year and a half. I think I can speak for many members when I say that we support your right to rant and share and do whatever it takes to help you to cope. I don't know who wrote to you, but it's obviously someone who hasn't been around long enough to know what this forum is all about. Epoman wrote on the IHD home page " I created the site for myself and others to have a voice on the internet free from censorship. Do not let the sites name fool you, we are not about being negative, we just hate dialysis. We are a community that is very supportive of each other and we help new patients and veterans of this disease cope with the daily struggles of living with kidney disease. If you are affected by kidney disease you are welcome here." I hope you keep on being yourself, and feel comfortable enough to keep sharing. You know I love you!
:cuddle;
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Feel free to rant, Kitkatz. That's what makes IHD so wonderful we can openly discuss our feelings good or bad. We are here to support each other. :cuddle;
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The others have said it all, you say just what you want girl :clap; - that's what this site is for!! If someone doesn't like it they don't have to read any further! :santahat;
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I agree with what everyone has said already - RANT AWAY!
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"supportive of each other"
Surely there is not another dialysis patient who is not willing to be emotionally supportive of another when they are down? Are they SO perfect that they never have a down moment? Are they so insensitive to another's needs?
If they are coping SO well, how about passing on a little of their wisdom to those of us who sometimes it all gets too much. Maybe they have just had too many happy pills?
Support is NOT being told to "suck it up" either. :boxing; My children have better manners. RANT away.
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Kitkatz, I would be happy to knock some wisdom into whoever :boxing;. I'm not the patient but the caregiver, and without being able to come here and let off some emotional steam, I would be in a loony bin. You RANT away and know that we are all here for you in the good times and bad. I have followed your story on IHD and there is not one person on this site that is stronger then you. For what it is worth, I admire everything about you. :cuddle;
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that person needs to go back and read epoman's posts. they have missed the entire point. keep it up, if needed. we have all learned a lot from each other, which is exactly what epoman intended. (don't get me started goofynina and i will need to both have a good cry) you have every right to rant as much as you want.
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Rant away! New members have commented that they like this forum because they get the truth about dialysis. Veteran members like it because we all SUPPORT each other. We help each other though the rough times like you're having. That person obviously doesn't understand why we're here!
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Rant On
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Kit, If you didn't rant and complain i wouldn't have the balls i have now to fight.
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So should we all expect a PM? because i dont think that many of us on here haven't had a rant !!! Maybe it would be nice of that 'person' to PM you and thankyou for the countless amount of times you have given support and cheered people up on here as well !!!
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Rant on! I think this is one way
the dialysis patient and their caregivers know
they are not alone with all the daily hardships
that can accompany this illness :banghead;
anne
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Whoever PM'd you is fairly clueless as to one of the primary functions of Epoman's vision...to give us a place to be negative, to rant, to bitch, to moan amongst people who understand...try bitching about your fistulagram at work and see how much sympathy you get (mostly you get looks like a dog when he ears a high pitched tone.)
What's amazing about IHD is the balance we strike between rants and celebrations...whether it is birthdays, anniversaries, or even good creatine levels.
We're the only people who really understand this life we now lead, and it's a hard one, fraught with highs and lows...Epoman set this up so we had a safe haven for all emotions...if someone doesn't like what's being said or done here, there are plenty of other sterile message boards out there.
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Well, I certainly wish I had a name to PM my reply to!! Are you kidding!? Kit, you know how I feel about you. I think you are amazing and a role model for anyone dealing with this disease. You give unselfishly of yourself on this site to help keep Epoman's dream alive. No one person should have to go through what you have had to deal with this past year. And we are here to help you in good times and bad. You did nothing inappropriate. You came to friends to share your feelings. Isn't that why we are all here? Does this person work full time, been on dialysis 9 years, denied a transplant, have a husband become an ambutee---?? You are one of the reasons I am dealing with kidney failure the best I can. Thanks, Kit, for being the caring, selfless person you are :cuddle; And as for "nameless" :boxing; :thumbdown; >:( :boxing;
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All I can say Kitkatz is that this forum is not for the person who PM'd you. That person is probably in a minority of one. We've all had a good rant on this forum at some time or another and the many return posts we get after posting a rant are always very supportive and unique in the sense that only other dialysis patients who have the same issues can fully empathize, which in turn give us strength and courage. Nothing you have ever said on this forum has upset me. So send that PM into the trash can which is where it belongs. :grouphug;
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rant on, Kit, rant on :boxing; :boxing; :boxing;
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Incurably sick people, especially if they state frankly and clearly how they are suffering, pose a serious challenge to the whole social order, because society has completely failed these people and is exposed by their criticism in its utter helplessness. Thus serious illness has a kind of revolutionary implication. This is why there is so much energy expended, from doctors, television commercials, public education programs, official disease websites, charitable societies, etc., to pretend that "everything will be just fine" for sick people "if they only take care of themselves and do what they are told," which puts the blame back on them and takes it away from society, the medical profession, and Big Pharma. We all know what awful syrupy nonsense is said on official Kidney Disease websites about "you too can live a normal life," etc. I remember someone on this forum even saying that nurses at his dialysis center had advised him not to visit this website because it was too negative. At my former dialysis unit, they would also not let patients always have the same seats next to each other for fear they would develop a rapport and "start saying negative things to each other about how they felt about their disease." But who are 'they' to control what we are allowed to say and think about OUR disease?
But as strong as the instinct to censor in order to promote social control may be, I never expected I would see this same desire to censor the truth about disease emerging on this forum, whose entire purpose is to provide a space for people to tell the unvarnished truth about how they experience renal failure.
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I have to agree with everyone else on this one. Being an employee not a patient/caregiver on this site gives me a bit of a different perspective than others may have but I believe it's the same one the rest of you have. This site was created by patients for patients to come and ask questions, give advice/wisdom and vent the frustrations that most of those not on dialysis would just not understand or care about. How this could not be understood or accepted by anyone that has read through the posts on this site is insane and in my opinion heartless. Rant On!
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Kit, Your rant was an exercise is selfrestraint under some of the most horrid circumstances. :grouphug; I am stunned that anyone would believe you were out of line. :o Next time don't hold back and slap them up side the head with the reality you live with every day. :boxing; :boxing;
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Ranting is a healthy reaction to difficult situations. Rant on!
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All I would say to that person is LOOK waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP at the header EPOMAN made, it says,
A PLACE TO VENT ABOUT DIE-LYSIS....
you missed the point of this site. duh.
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Do you suppose Epoman has bopped that person on the head by now ??? :boxing; Rant on Girl, rant on !
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:rant; :rant; :rant;
This is the place to rant. I have my shares of rant here, so Kitkatz do not worry the one that sent u. the P.M.
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I like it here because you all tell it like it is. I want to hear the rants along with everything else because I learn from them. Keep ranting, this is supposed to be a safe place for it.
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You've never offended me, either. I enjoy your posts - rants and all!!!! :clap;
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Rant on!
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Kit - all I can say is that I come here for the rants!! Bring it on baby! (ok, the tips help too! - and some of the off topic stuff is highly entertaining...)
Sometimes, you put into words what I am feeling. It is a great comfort to know that I'm not alone in all of this.
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I am just shocked. This person who sent a PM to you would NOT have been happy with a reply from Epoman. I came in just after he passed, but from reading his posts, and ahem, READING the intro page.. I would say THIS IS THE PLACE for rants. We are safe here. We are free to do so when WE need to.
As for this person, I would politely show them politicallly correct websites for them to participate in.
Don't EVER change, Kit!!!! Please!!!
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i agree with everything said rant on kit :thumbup;
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rant away :yahoo;
if you don't like ranting,its not rocket science, don't read it duh :banghead; :banghead;
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*kicks down door* OH HELL NO!!!! Who the hell thinks they can pm, not only a member but a moderator at that, and tell them what they can or cannot do?? Who the hell does this person think he/she is?? Step up, come on, lets talk about this!!! First of all, Epoman did make this forum just for this reason, had you read his intro you would've known that. Kitkatz, you go girl, you do what'cha got to do, whether it is a rant, or a cry or a poem or whatever you want to do, that is what we are here for, YOUR SUPPORT, and that goes for anyone else as well, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, if you anyone ever gets a pm such as Kit did, do not hesitate to let anyone in the admin team know, believe me, it will be taken care of immediately >:(
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Thanks, Kit, for being the caring, selfless person you are And as for "nameless" :boxing; >:( :P
Your the best...Boxman
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Nameless this is for you :boxing; you leave my kit alone. This is a place we can rant and have people understand why we rant regardless if you are the pt or caregiver, I feel at times I can talk and say things here that I would NEVER say around those close to us since ALOT of our family and friends are in denial. Maybe you nameless need to find a diffrent site with out a rant section and leave Epomans vision and legacy alone. Kit you have had a horrible year so Hun rant away we are here for YOU :grouphug;
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Can't really think of anything much to add to what everybody else has said, except that I agree -- seems like ranting (among other things) is exactly what this site is for. Hang in there, Kit.
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I think it is wonderful and normal when anyone rants. If you are ranting than you are dealing. We could start an "denial" section and just stick our head up our "*%%" and be so freaking positive and make people puke.
Keep on ranting! Love ya Kit! :grouphug;
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I have a feeling that the deeper I get in all this ESRD bull-sh~t the more rants you'll see from ME!
Come on... someone who is more seasoned than I give us a good ole rant about how they hate people to poo-poo rants! :boxing;
yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So sorry kitkatz, but this forum is exactly for ranting. Epoman intended us to be able to let our feelings out and rant all we want. I'm sorry, but for anyone going through ESRD has every right to rant, and SHOULD rant. If we don't rant, we will end up bottling everything inside and explode one day with a break-down or worse... that's not good for ourselves nor anyone else. Anyone with a medical problem earned the right to complain/rant and especially people with an incurable one.
Were here for you, and keep on ranting. :cuddle;
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Thanks folks. I was stunned by the Pm I received. I have been reevaluating my posts, however I guess for now you all are stuck with me the way I am.
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... I guess for now you all are stuck with me the way I am.
And thanks, Kit, for that!
:-*
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Kitkatz. there is nothing to re-evaluate! You said nothing out of line. Thank God and Epoman we have a place to go with our fears and sorrow! I think you can tell by the number of replies you received from the "rant" thread, that everyone here was worried about you and would do anything to make life better for you. Please don't let one negative PM out weigh all the good thoughts sent to you. Keep on being you! We all take turns ranting--mine is coming soon!!
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Kitkatz, 'ranting' is just a word. What you were really doing was telling it like it is. I was so disappointed when we got the dialysis videos and saw all these people leading such normal lives and happy as can be. It was so unrealistic. There are too many things that can get crazy and we want to be aware of as much as possible. This community is where we can tell each other our experiences - it's just the reality of the situation. Everyone faces different challenges and hearing about them only makes for a better place to come and be prepared. :cuddle;
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That really stinks! I say rant on! :rant;
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I guess for now you all are stuck with me the way I am.
Yay!!! :bandance; The way you are is awesome. I guess with three pages of support for Kit, Nameless knows what it means to "feel the big stick". I'm new here and never knew Epoman, but I'm so grateful to folks like Kit who carry on his vision. This site is so positive and supportive -- but not by shutting people up and making us pretend everything's always great. Go Kit!
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I was so disappointed when we got the dialysis videos and saw all these people leading such normal lives and happy as can be. It was so unrealistic.
That is so funny! That is exactly what I told my nephrologist's office when I returned the DVD about the different kinds of dialysis.
Her: "What did you think?".
Me: "Well...(weird look on my face) they were all smiling and stuff. Didn't seem real."
Her: "Yeah" (blank stare on her face)
At least she had been through it. She knew....
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I was so disappointed when we got the dialysis videos and saw all these people leading such normal lives and happy as can be. It was so unrealistic.
That is so funny! That is exactly what I told my nephrologist's office when I returned the DVD about the different kinds of dialysis.
Her: "What did you think?".
Me: "Well...(weird look on my face) they were all smiling and stuff. Didn't seem real."
Her: "Yeah" (blank stare on her face)
At least she had been through it. She knew....
The kidney school website is like that too - happy, happy, happy. Damn, where are they getting all those pills? ;D
If we deleted all the rants on here, we'd lose about 75% of the website! I was just posting a return rant to Adam's rant. I want to read rants on here - it tells me that what I'm feeling, be it frustrated, angry, tired, hopeless, or overwhelmed, is perfectly normal for my situation. Do not change, kit! Nameless is just plain WRONG!
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I don't think there is any question that we all need to rant and know that it is okay to do so. IHD is a blessing in that respect, a safe place, thanks to Epoman and those who keep his legacy alive. Personally, I try to be positive as much as possible, I have had my days (and still do), believe me....just read some of the stuff I have posted, but just as much as people need to hear one thing (ranting) I think they need to hear another (positives) too. Posting is different for everyone, we are all in different stages and cycles. I don't always like to read the rants, so when that is the case I just move along and find something I do want to read or post.
kitkats, no one can directly relate to your feelings, while some may have had a very similar experience it is not your experience so you are right to express yourself however you feel necessary (not that you need permission, just want to express my understanding). Try to understand from this persons perspective why they may have PM'd you, be compassionate and forgiving and you will feel good. :twocents;
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Here's another vote for you to keep on messaging, Kit,
whether rant or not. We are on this site to hear the truth.
We are going through this struggle and can't deny the
negatives involved. We do get many positive reactions from
each other, but the hardships are always there and need to
be discussed in the open. I remail gratefull for this site and remain
gratefull for everyone's messages.
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I have already shared my opinion with the admin staff, but I think I need to put in my :twocents; here.
Thank God for this site.
Thank God for the vision Epoman had to create a place where we can be real - positive when it is positive, saying it like it is when we need.
Thank God for our official resident Superwoman Kitkatz who has been through unspeakable situations and still is a great asset to this site.
Thank God, even for people who don't seem to have a clue, to give many of us a chance to express our support for a wonderful person Kitkatz and for the vision of this site.
Kitkatz, rant on
Please don't allow that person to put you into any restrictions. Epoman would be horrified.
Next this person would have us changing the name of this website!!
[do some of the older members remember that doctor's wife who gave us a dressing down about being negative and how Epoman dealt with her?]
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These are the times we miss Epoman the most! He really could put you in your place! I do remember, Bajanne and just glad it wasn't me. :rofl; Positive thinking is great-------- BUT we have to let go of the real anger and pain we have; and we need this safe place to do it.
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I have already shared my opinion with the admin staff, but I think I need to put in my :twocents; here.
Thank God for this site.
Thank God for the vision Epoman had to create a place where we can be real - positive when it is positive, saying it like it is when we need.
Thank God for our official resident Superwoman Kitkatz who has been through unspeakable situations and still is a great asset to this site.
Thank God, even for people who don't seem to have a clue, to give many of us a chance to express our support for a wonderful person Kitkatz and for the vision of this site.
Kitkatz, rant on
Please don't allow that person to put you into any restrictions. Epoman would be horrified.
Next this person would have us changing the name of this website!!
[do some of the older members remember that doctor's wife who gave us a dressing down about being negative and how Epoman dealt with her?]
How could i (we) ever forget that :) It was times like those that helped make Epoman the legend he is today :waving;
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i actually think you don't rant enough. with all the shit you been through, you're entitled to say what ever you like. it seems that everybody on this site would agree. i think that this person should give you a public apology on this thread. i also think that epoman would give this person a chance to explain themselves, and then ban this person for not knowing what this site is all about. at least that is what i would do. just my opinion. take care and rant on.
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... [do some of the older members remember that doctor's wife who gave us a dressing down about being negative and how Epoman dealt with her?]
How could we forget?!? She was unbelievable. She had to be one of those overly protected, highly sheltered, delicate flowers. (Husband's do no good when they treat their wives that way.) I was so proud of everyone who responded to her. Thank God and Bill for this site where the truth is told -- good and bad. And, I don't say it enough, thanks to all of you who continue to keep his legacy alive.
BTW, can you imagine how Victor's life would have been different if Kat had been one of those sheltered helpless females? (Did anyone ever find out if those two "Super Heroes" wear capes? :rofl; )
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Happy and Jolting dialysis patients ?????
This site tells it like it is because we all experienced the roller coaster of dialysis.
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I enjoy rants of all kinds, i can relate