I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Dragonfly on April 25, 2013, 07:51:17 AM
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My life just did a twisty flip-flop. Things are so crazy right now, I did a foolish thing and now I have to go to court, on top of that I am in a flare from my lupus, I get sick every morning, I have a cold and I am extremely tired. Then I found out that my daughter's father is very sick and they just put him in hospice. I feel like it is never going to stop. I am so depressed, I can't sleep, I took a sleeping pill for the first time last night now I feel like crap this morning, I just want to go back to bed. I have a dr's appt at 1:45, I don't want to go but I have to, stupid kidney dr. I will tell him how I feel and some how he will relate it to dialysis, I think he forgets that I have lupus. Does anyone have a cave I can crawl into and stay there until this all goes away? Sitting here about to cry because I just can't take it anymore. If I didn't have my child and I wasn't a coward, I would just stop everything and go rest in peace. I don't know how to get back up. I am so worried about court, I don't want to go to jail, I don't want my daughter's father to die, I want a neat house, but can't clean because I am always so sick. I am sorry I got on here and went crazy, I just have to get this all off my chest. Thanks for letting me vent.
Dragonfly
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You do have a lot going on. I'm here, listening, and I care. Vent away as needed, it really can be helpful.
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Sorry for all the problems. I have a cave you can join me in. Right now it is in my mind, not real. BUT there are times when I wish it was real. Daughter's father - this may sound harsh, but that is the way this life goes. We are born, we all die. I hope he goes in peace and not pain. I know it is hard to take but that is the way it is. I don't know much about Lupus, but understand it is a very painful situation to live with. Hang in there, hope court goes well for you. I would bet that once the court thing is over, the other stuff will fall in line. Grumpy
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I'm sorry for all of this. It doesn't seem fair that someone should suffer so much. :grouphug;
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You do have a lot going on. I'm here, listening, and I care. Vent away as needed, it really can be helpful.
Thank You
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Sorry for all the problems. I have a cave you can join me in. Right now it is in my mind, not real. BUT there are times when I wish it was real. Daughter's father - this may sound harsh, but that is the way this life goes. We are born, we all die. I hope he goes in peace and not pain. I know it is hard to take but that is the way it is. I don't know much about Lupus, but understand it is a very painful situation to live with. Hang in there, hope court goes well for you. I would bet that once the court thing is over, the other stuff will fall in line. Grumpy
I tried that cave but it always crumbles. I know that we are all born to die, but I was always hoping he would come around and be the father she deserved and now that he is dying there is no chance. It makes me very sad for her. Thanks for the good wishes for court.
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You're overwhelmed, and with good reason!
When you feel unwell, everything else seems so much more difficult to handle.
When you are not sleeping properly, everything else IS so much more difficult to handle.
I am not surprised that your doc seems to forget about your lupus. I apologize...I know very little about lupus. Other than dialysis to treat your ESRD caused from lupus, is there any other treatment for the all of the other affects of lupus?
For when is your court appearance scheduled?
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I'm sorry for all of this. It doesn't seem fair that someone should suffer so much. :grouphug;
ThankYou
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You're overwhelmed, and with good reason!
When you feel unwell, everything else seems so much more difficult to handle.
When you are not sleeping properly, everything else IS so much more difficult to handle.
I am not surprised that your doc seems to forget about your lupus. I apologize...I know very little about lupus. Other than dialysis to treat your ESRD caused from lupus, is there any other treatment for the all of the other affects of lupus?
For when is your court appearance scheduled?
Thank You, I am on medications for the lupus, myfortic and 15 mg prednisone, but when I get stressed it can cause a flare and that is what happened. My court date is not for another three weeks, I am trying to relax about it but I just can't seem to get a grip on things. Yeah, I really hate when you go to the hospital or dr's and you tell them you are sick and they say "LACK OF DIALYSIS" It's horrible. I went to the hospital in severe pain one day, couldn't even get out of bed, the EMT's had to carry me out, got to the hospital and they gave me morphine and hours later I was admitted, my potassium was high, on discharge papers, they had their fancy medical term for high potassium and nothing about my back. The funny thing about it all is that the lupus is what caused my kidney failure, so how can you forget that?
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Im sure THIS doesnt help, but im crying with you :'( I too am overwhelmed and so reading this just was the 'straw' i guess. It just makes me feel so bad that anyone has to deal with these things. Im awful sorry, and i wish you better. I do know that if you can find some rest somewhere, a good amt of it, it usually can help build some strength to go on. AND,,, i too hate (and i use that word rarely!) that once your diagnosed with something, they want to blame every other dang thing on that. Im so sick of the {concerned look, nod of head, crossed arms,,, and the answer of, "well yes, you have to expect these things when you have kidney failure"} ... thats for my hubby,,,AND for me, because i have anxiety issues so OF COURSE, i couldnt at anytime have heart problems because it's "all anxiety"... ear ache,,, nope, anxiety! a splinter in my foot,, nope again, it's just my anxiety.... Hope you see that i 'get it'. I Hope you get some rest so all these things your facing can have a better 'look' to them. They do all pass, and more to come, but a good sleep sometimes keeps us goen for the next round... :grouphug; Im also all for prayer... It's what i got, and it's gotton me through :pray;
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I'm so sorry you have all that at once. Your doc sounds like a bit of a putz. Just show up and nod your head then go home to rest.
I don't have a cave. I do want a padded room. Just imagine one when you need to. I'd tell you to crawl under your bed like I used to as a kid. But it's really embarrassing when the fire company has to come rescue you. :)
:grouphug; :grouphug;
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:Kit n Stik; :banghead; :twocents; Sounds like you need a hug. :grouphug; I hope things get better for you.
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hope your doing ok tonight Dragonfly... nitie nite :cuddle;
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Wow! You have so much to deal with. After reading your posts I feel like a real jerk for complaining about my trivial problems. It doesn't seem fair that you keep getting more and more dumped on you. I really hope everything works out for you! You must be an incredibly strong person to handle everything you have been through in your life. Praying you get a much deserved break, because you have certainly earned one! The folks at IHD are so supportive, I am sure they will offer you some great advice. I have learned so much by reading their stories. Sending you prayers and hugs!
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I feel very badly about what yu are going thru. I know there are others here who would say, oh, I have been in worse spots than she has, but then again there are others here, like every one who has posted here that understand what you are going thru. And, we dont have to have all of your symptomes or problems to understand your pain. I always look at it this way...... They told me to cheer up, things could be worse and so I cheered up and sure enough things did get worse. One day at a time sweetie, one day at a time.
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:grouphug; Keep strong honey, I'm so sorry for you, I have nothing to add really to the lovely posts above.
Just more hugs, I'll be thinking of you.
Lots of love, and strength Cas
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Im sure THIS doesnt help, but im crying with you :'( I too am overwhelmed and so reading this just was the 'straw' i guess. It just makes me feel so bad that anyone has to deal with these things. Im awful sorry, and i wish you better. I do know that if you can find some rest somewhere, a good amt of it, it usually can help build some strength to go on. AND,,, i too hate (and i use that word rarely!) that once your diagnosed with something, they want to blame every other dang thing on that. Im so sick of the {concerned look, nod of head, crossed arms,,, and the answer of, "well yes, you have to expect these things when you have kidney failure"} ... thats for my hubby,,,AND for me, because i have anxiety issues so OF COURSE, i couldnt at anytime have heart problems because it's "all anxiety"... ear ache,,, nope, anxiety! a splinter in my foot,, nope again, it's just my anxiety.... Hope you see that i 'get it'. I Hope you get some rest so all these things your facing can have a better 'look' to them. They do all pass, and more to come, but a good sleep sometimes keeps us goen for the next round... :grouphug; Im also all for prayer... It's what i got, and it's gotton me through :pray;
Thank you for responding, I do get how much you understand what I am going through. I had a nice sleep last night. I am holding up a little better. My daughter's dad crossed over yesterday. She is not sure if she wants to go or not, his wife and older daughter don't want me to go, so I can't, but they say it is ok for her to go. They cremated him and they are just doing a church service so she thinks she might not go, because when she went to her brother's service his was a cremation and she felt no closure. I told her to do what she wants and my sister is yelling her telling her she has to go and pay her respects to a man that was hardly in her life. The first 7 years or so he was active in her life, but then he got married and he stop doing alot with her and of course blamed it all on me. I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed also, I hope it gets better for you.
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:grouphug; Keep strong honey, I'm so sorry for you, I have nothing to add really to the lovely posts above.
Just more hugs, I'll be thinking of you.
Lots of love, and strength Cas
Thank you
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Wow! You have so much to deal with. After reading your posts I feel like a real jerk for complaining about my trivial problems. It doesn't seem fair that you keep getting more and more dumped on you. I really hope everything works out for you! You must be an incredibly strong person to handle everything you have been through in your life. Praying you get a much deserved break, because you have certainly earned one! The folks at IHD are so supportive, I am sure they will offer you some great advice. I have learned so much by reading their stories. Sending you prayers and hugs!
Thank you, no you have a right to complain about your problems, just because you think mine are bigger doesn't make your problems any smaller for you. As far as strength I don't know how much more I have or where I can get more. I just hope and pray that I get a break soon. I hope things get better for you!
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I feel very badly about what yu are going thru. I know there are others here who would say, oh, I have been in worse spots than she has, but then again there are others here, like every one who has posted here that understand what you are going thru. And, we dont have to have all of your symptomes or problems to understand your pain. I always look at it this way...... They told me to cheer up, things could be worse and so I cheered up and sure enough things did get worse. One day at a time sweetie, one day at a time.
Thank you and that sure made me laugh (They told me to cheer up, things could be worse and so I cheered up and sure enough things did get worse.) It sure seems that way.
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hope your doing ok tonight Dragonfly... nitie nite :cuddle;
doing a little better Thanks
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Wow! You have so much to deal with. After reading your posts I feel like a real jerk for complaining about my trivial problems.
i second this. i have been complaining about my eye puffiness and right cheek puffiness, bs things.
i am so sorry you are going through so much. sending lots of prayers your way and hope you get out of very very soon. :grouphug;
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Wow! You have so much to deal with. After reading your posts I feel like a real jerk for complaining about my trivial problems.
i second this. i have been complaining about my eye puffiness and right cheek puffiness, bs things.
i am so sorry you are going through so much. sending lots of prayers your way and hope you get out of very very soon. :grouphug;
Thank You