I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: bleija on May 21, 2012, 09:12:41 PM
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well, i know i read on here about the men and their erection problems, but does that correlate along with females and sezx drive. i am young, but i have no drive whatsoever.... My husband understands but hes a guy..and i dnt know what to do about it... when we do it feels like such a chore and i would rather not...if it was up to me it would never happen. i mean i feel bad, but i guess im lucky he understands... what do u all do.
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Yes, females can have the same problem. I do.
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I've had this problem for years. Doctors have told me it's all in my head and I should just snap out of it. No one seems to have any real answer.
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I'm right there with you! It has literally been years since I had the desire for sex..... It's sad, really!
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very sad indeed, for hubby, and for me. And Cattlekid its not in your head, its a few of the zillion things that kidneys are doing in a perfect world. Its being tired, its feeling ill, its feeling 'unattractive', its being depressed. What kind of a doctor comes out with things like that in the first place?
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I think they say that when they literally have nothing to offer you. It pisses me off to no end that men have an assortment of "little blue pills" and other options....women have nothing.
very sad indeed, for hubby, and for me. And Cattlekid its not in your head, its a few of the zillion things that kidneys are doing in a perfect world. Its being tired, its feeling ill, its feeling 'unattractive', its being depressed. What kind of a doctor comes out with things like that in the first place?
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Yeah I have no "drive" whatsoever. Luckily or not, I have no husband to torment. I don't think the doctors care. There are really no options for women. Men can use testosterone cream but that can be dangerous for women. I think you're doctor will probably say you're lucky to be alive and the sex thing is no big deal. Of course it would be a big deal if your doctor had the problem. I'm sending you sympathy.
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I would rather have a ciggie and a cup of tea. That's sad isn't it. OK I am nearly 68, I keep telling him "I am looking after his heart" I am awful, but I can not be bothered.
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eh thats what i figured... i dnt feel unattractive, i know thats not my issue... but my next question is will a transplant change anything?
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eh thats what i figured... i dnt feel unattractive, i know thats not my issue... but my next question is will a transplant change anything?
I am a single, 38 yr old woman with a transplant for 6 months. I was on D for 7 months, and actually felt pretty randy there for a while when I was on it! (Truth be told, though, I had no one to share that with). Now that I have a transplant, that feeling comes and goes depending on what is going on in my life. It took a little while for my meds to get adjusted - before that I had stomach issues, and for me, that never leaves me feeling sexy. Once all those issues resolved, I was feeling pretty good in that arena (but still, no one to share it with) and then BAM!!! I got hit with a nasty hematoma obstructing my new kidney! One emergency surgery, round of dialysis, and 2 units of blood later, I had to recover for a month. So now the feeling comes and goes, as long as Aunt Flo isn't around (she is a definite libiido killer for me. Always has been.)
My take on everything? Everyone is different, because everyone is affected differently. There is no way to know if a transplant will change that or not, because everyone's transplant experience is different, just like everyone's dialysis experience is different. I know that probably doesn't give you the answer you're looking for, but I believe it to be true. We're all unique!
KarenInWA
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I'd be pissed if some doctor told me it was all in my head. :boxing;
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I will say that I had no desire while on dialysis…for obvious reasons. I could barely get up and go to work much less do anything romantical.
I’ve had my 2nd transplant for about a year and a half……still no desire.
Iam begining to think my lack of desire is more "relationship" based. I think back to an old boyfriend and let me tell you.....if that guy were readily avialble, look out!! ;D :bandance;
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aunt flo's a bitch, doesnt she know we dnt want her around, someone told me that when some women start dialysis they wont have one anymore.... and that even more common on hemo, i waited to b e free when i did my 6 month stent on hemo, nope not me every month
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aunt flo's a bitch, doesnt she know we dnt want her around, someone told me that when some women start dialysis they wont have one anymore.... and that even more common on hemo, i waited to b e free when i did my 6 month stent on hemo, nope not me every month
I didn't have a cycle for several months when I was on in center dialysis. But when I started home hemo, she came back with a vengeance. The neph told me today to hold all heparin during my cycle, hopefully that will help.
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okay well i guess i would rather keep mine, than piss her off, lol mine arnt too bad more annoyin than anything
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I just to have the desire for sex all the time. That desire left when i started dialysis. At first it was because of the tube sticking out of my chest, i didn't feel attractive. But 5 years later by beau is still by my side and loves me more every day.
We haven't had intercourse in months, but he gets what he needs, and he tries to please me. I find if i get enough exercise in a week, I feel more like sex, if i Don't i just want to sleep.
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The heavy monthly flow is caused from the Heparin. Thank you heparin, ::) it makes my flow heavy every month. The few months before renal failure mine went away and I LOVED it being gone. I didn't miss it. Needless to say, it returned after 4 months of in center hemo. ::)
I don't want my period anymore but I'm afraid to have any kind of surgery that may screw up a transplant. I'm wondering if maybe anti rejection meds will make it disappear? (I really don't know, but I'm hoping it will cause it to stop) so I'm holding off to see what happens when/if/once I have a transplant.
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I just to have the desire for sex all the time. That desire left when i started dialysis. At first it was because of the tube sticking out of my chest, i didn't feel attractive. But 5 years later by beau is still by my side and loves me more every day.
We haven't had intercourse in months, but he gets what he needs, and he tries to please me. I find if i get enough exercise in a week, I feel more like sex, if i Don't i just want to sleep.
WAIT!!!! so exercise is the key??? at this point im willing to try...
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Not for me, I excercise daily and it doesn't do anything to my libido.
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eh well, taking any and all suggestions... so i may give it a shot
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eh well, taking any and all suggestions... so i may give it a shot
I hope exercise helps you :cuddle;
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The heavy monthly flow is caused from the Heparin. Thank you heparin, ::) it makes my flow heavy every month. The few months before renal failure mine went away and I LOVED it being gone. I didn't miss it. Needless to say, it returned after 4 months of in center hemo. ::)
I don't want my period anymore but I'm afraid to have any kind of surgery that may screw up a transplant. I'm wondering if maybe anti rejection meds will make it disappear? (I really don't know, but I'm hoping it will cause it to stop) so I'm holding off to see what happens when/if/once I have a transplant.
Cordelia - regarding this issue. Everyone is different, of course, but my experience was this - I immediately had a period the day after my surgery, then didn't have one for 3 months! I thought that was great! But, eventually, she came back, and I have had 3 since she's been back (transplant was exactly 6 months ago).
Doctors usually say periods come back after transplant. Mine never left, and I ended up taking the pill continuously while on D to try to avoid them. I ended up having one every 3 months or so, so it helped. Sure was better than the "heparin bleed" every month! I have been off of the pill since my transplant.
There are other options to deal with the period issue. You can always call your transplant clinic to ask what they think of them. One thing you can do is get an ablation done that will either minimize or completely stop them altogether. My dr and I have talked about this. It's not major surgery, and it has a quick recovery. If you don't want to go that route, there is also the iud. Mirena specifically was recommended to me. The thing is, you can still be a bit anemic after tx, and having periods doesn't help matters much. I had a hematoma incident in early April, had to have emergency surgery, lost a lot of blood, and Aunt Flo was there for the whole damn thing! I ended up having to have 2 units of blood while doing one round of dialysis. This was how I spent Easter. Fun, huh? Stupid Aunt Flo added insult to (literal) injury. I was NOT happy (about any of it!!!).
KarenInWA
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The heavy monthly flow is caused from the Heparin. Thank you heparin, ::) it makes my flow heavy every month. The few months before renal failure mine went away and I LOVED it being gone. I didn't miss it. Needless to say, it returned after 4 months of in center hemo. ::)
I don't want my period anymore but I'm afraid to have any kind of surgery that may screw up a transplant. I'm wondering if maybe anti rejection meds will make it disappear? (I really don't know, but I'm hoping it will cause it to stop) so I'm holding off to see what happens when/if/once I have a transplant.
Cordelia - regarding this issue. Everyone is different, of course, but my experience was this - I immediately had a period the day after my surgery, then didn't have one for 3 months! I thought that was great! But, eventually, she came back, and I have had 3 since she's been back (transplant was exactly 6 months ago).
Doctors usually say periods come back after transplant. Mine never left, and I ended up taking the pill continuously while on D to try to avoid them. I ended up having one every 3 months or so, so it helped. Sure was better than the "heparin bleed" every month! I have been off of the pill since my transplant.
There are other options to deal with the period issue. You can always call your transplant clinic to ask what they think of them. One thing you can do is get an ablation done that will either minimize or completely stop them altogether. My dr and I have talked about this. It's not major surgery, and it has a quick recovery. If you don't want to go that route, there is also the iud. Mirena specifically was recommended to me. The thing is, you can still be a bit anemic after tx, and having periods doesn't help matters much. I had a hematoma incident in early April, had to have emergency surgery, lost a lot of blood, and Aunt Flo was there for the whole damn thing! I ended up having to have 2 units of blood while doing one round of dialysis. This was how I spent Easter. Fun, huh? Stupid Aunt Flo added insult to (literal) injury. I was NOT happy (about any of it!!!).
KarenInWA
OMG, that would be horrible having your period through all of that!!! Definitely sounds like it was not a good Easter at all for you. I'm sorry to hear this happened.
Yes, I've heard of ablation. I have done a lot of thinking about it. Are there any risks to it before having a transplant, that's what I'm wondering. I don't want to risk changing my antibodies before transplant. I already have high antibodies to begin with.
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I have always had a high libido... and even though I'm on D... I still do. :shy; I do CCPD only at night when I'm sleeping... maybe that's the key? As for periods, I haven't had one since December last year... but I am also on IMPLANON which is a birth control implant placed in my arm, kinda like an IUD, which also stops periods. There's so many factors that play into a woman's body, the slightest hormone change, D, medication... speaking of which!!! I had my son 18 months ago and I'm still lactating!!! I didn't even nurse him since he was born premature! The reason? One of my blood pressure medications! It changed my hormones up just enough to produce milk. It doesn't bother me, but I always worry that somehow the IUD failed and I'm pregnant again! lol.
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Im very "lucky" that my bf doesnt have much of a sex drive i guess.. but i still do sometimes. (its RARE but when it hits it hits hard!)
BUT my last bf was a sex addict (im not even kidding, he was an actual addict!) and there were days i didnt feel well enough to do anything, so his go to was porn hah and if i wasnt feeling like doing it, but felt like helping, i would. *blushes* i wont get graphic, but im sure you know what i mean. Nothing wrong with giving without getting anything in return.
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I feel like I still have a pretty normal sex drive, only problem is its still higher than my bf's. As far as Aunt Flo is concerned, the past two years have been the most frustrating of my life!!! Even before I started D, I became irregular, and what I thought was a pregnancy scare ended up just being my kidneys failing, YAY (NOT)!!! But since I started D it has been the most sporadic thing ever. In the beginning, I'd be on for about 4 days then off for 6 weeks, then on 4 days, off 8 weeks, then it was more like on 8 days, off 3 weeks, and over the last two months its been on 1 day, off 5 days, on 2 days, off 2 weeks, on 1 day, off 9 days, etc., etc., etc. (The time I was off for 3 1/2 months was the best EVER!!!) I never know when its coming and when it will end, which has caused some embarrassment a couple of times. My dr said no bc for me because of the ESRD and my high BP....it sucks monkey toes!
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No birth control or no birth control pills? There are other options. Check into a Mirena IUD, which is so low dose even diabetics are allowed to use it. Also, if you decide not to have children, the ESRD makes it easy to get coverage for more permanent solutions, like tubals and ablations. (No period again with an ablation, bonus.)
Also, which doc said that? Nephs are lousy to ask about birth control - they rarely are updated on what's out there that is suitable for D patients, since so few of us are still young and fertile.
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I had none for a While when gfr Was 8 to 10 (i wasn't on D) I'm now almost 7 wks post tx with good function & last couple wks have been thinking bout sex quite a bit & hubby was pretty happy last night when i decided wanted to do more than just think about it loI! So for me i think the low function & low iron Was affecting libido now things are settled & normal it Seems to have returned!
My periods stopped Feb this yr (I was glad as bled for 9 wks heavily after my daughter was born in July ) hormones were screwed from birth & gfr drop had to go On pill to sort it out then came off it in Feb bled for 2wks then stopped yay! Asked my neph last wk when i'd get periods back & she Said even tho my hb has gone up to 11.6 it could take mths. I'm not bothered, don't want any more children so Why do i want to bleed lol!
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:shy;I am so glad someone ask this ? i have the same problem n when i mentioned it to my dr it was just ignored as usual. At least i know now that im not alone. My husband is understanding to a certian point but i know it bothers him more than he wants to addmitt. He make coments sometimes like "do u not "want" me anymore" and thinks that its him even tho i tell him repeatedly its me. I feel horrible that i dont want to do it any more i use to be pretty active wen it came ot sex. Now i feel like it is such a chore. I dont sleep well due to itching, cramping, head aches, just being to tired, u know all the lovely things that go along with CKD and wen i do sleep i dont want to be bothered. When it comes to periods i have one bout every 3 monts or so and most the time i feel like im being hit repeatedly by a mac truck.
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Sorry for jumping in on the Ladies question, but I find it interesting that some of you indicate your BF or Hubby's sex drive is less than yours. I thought all men were horny all the time. :bandance; In my case, I'm the one on D, but still have more sex drive than my wife. BUT my problem is now that I enjoy erectile disfunction. But I still can provide some pleasure by other means. Grumpy
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I don't want my period anymore but I'm afraid to have any kind of surgery that may screw up a transplant. I'm wondering if maybe anti rejection meds will make it disappear? (I really don't know, but I'm hoping it will cause it to stop) so I'm holding off to see what happens when/if/once I have a transplant.
After I had my son it was horrible it got that bad, but I had a DNC done & that worked wonders!! I am still on the waiting list & it didn't hurt my chances or take me off the list to have the procedure done.
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well So much for it taking at least 6mths post tx for periods to come back, 9 wks yesterday & it comes! Grrr lol!
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ha ha im 3 weeks, and got mine right on time as always
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lol. I hadn t had one for 3mths before tx tho, sucks!
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not having one sucks? i am inclined to dfisagree, since i first got mine i have never been free from one ever, every month right on time and one month i get 2, oh joy, would be glad to sharelol
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No i meant it sucks having it after not for a while! Only time before i never had It was when pregnant with my son & daughter & seeing as don't want Anymore Kids didn't really want a period back Iol!
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oh ok then yes i agree, that would suck, but in a way it shows ur body thinks its healthy again lol, i joked with the swurgen when they asked us what kind of birth control or contraception, and we r like dont have to have sex for that to be an issue lol, nah but he told us pretty much ur body is like were healthy again so lets make babies!!! lol
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lol! they talked to me bout contraception as they were surprised I conceived my daughter so would bereally fertile after transplant, i told them no prob hubby had snip in March haha ! (think he was worried i'd get ideas bout More after tx!) What bout you would you like kids now you've had tx?!
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we definitely do, my hubby is mexican so u know their biological clocks start ticking at 12, lol and hes 25. they told us we could but just to wait a full year after everything is settled. i would like 2, but im gonna tread water with the first one and see how everything goes before i decide whether or not i should go for a second.
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lol! Am i right you're only 22 anyway So got plenty of time! You must've been young when you got married, we were 23. I was 25 when I had Andrew & 29 when i had Elena. I'm 3o now & so done lol ! Do you have to wait a yr post tx before you try for a baby? x
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a year is what the transplant docs told us. and yeah we were young, well i was 19, he was 23.it was a few months before i turned 20. but when i found out about all my issues, he was the first person i felt i could talkk to and vent with, and he took care of me after my surgeries and did things i couldnt do around my apartment before we were technically dating or anything. i know we were young but it felt right and couldnt imagine going through any of this stuff without him.
i know we have plenty of time im not in any rush, would ratherr have kiddies when my kidney is at full stregth tho, so it can manage the extra stress better, but ultimately i will wait for the doctors to give me the clear
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yes a years what i've heard too, although im not allowed anymore lol! Hubby says no & dad Wouldn't be happy after giving me his Kidney haha!
So glad you have a supportive hubby, mine is too, he started to be tested to donate to me got as far as finding out blood group (same as mine !) before told my parents Would be better.
How you feeling now? x
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my hubby wanted to originally but we kinda decided against it, bc he is my primary support system at home, and i didnt want to burden anyone with having to take me back and forth. and not that he would have been able to now, we found out last year that he has type 2 diabetes and started taking blood presssure medication
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my goal though for this year that i have before we get the clear, is for both of us to get healthier. we are already eating healthier. i never wanted to exercise or anything pre transplant bc i was exhausted all the time but now that im feeling better i have more energey and would like to lose 30 lbs or 40 lol. My hubbys goal is a lot higher he wants to lose 100 lbs. the dr pretty muh told him he could reverse the diabetes if he lost weight and that would fix his blood pressure issues. i just wanted himto lose 50, but i will wupport him to lose it all
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Ah well good luck with the weight loss hope it helps hubbys diabetes. Im the opposite always been tiny & lost weight in hospital So am trying to gain which is great now can eat what i want! Have gained 12lbs want to gain another 6 or 7 then wanna start some Sort of exercise regime!
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with this prednisone all i wanna do is ewat eat and eat, so yeah, it is so much harder now that we can eat what we want, and that everything tastes sooo good!! lol
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lol i did at first too not so much since my pred has been reduced from 20mg to 5. How much are you on? they're reducing mine to 4mg in a couple wks When i hit 3mths post tx then 3mg, 2 & l then they'll take me off it completely cause im young they Said they don't want me on it permanently if alls going well!
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that would be awesome to not have to take any at all, that tastes soo bad. i am on 20mg now, they have been lowering me by 5mg at a shot. i am 26 days post. the second day they gave me 90mg, then the 3rd day 60, 4th day 30, kept me at thirty for a week or so then down to 25mg, then thurs they took me down to 20.
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Oh i havent noticed the taste really. I was on 20 post op then 15 then 10 then 7.5 etc. Im also on tacro 3.5mg morn and night which i think they'll reduce at some point and another one i cant spell something mofetil 750mg twice a day. They say the tacro and mofetil should be enough for me to come off the steroids. How often are u having labs and clinic apps at mo? Hows your donor doing? x
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my donor is doing great, the docs can hardly beleive that our surgery was less than 4 weeks ago. i have prograf 4 in the morn and 3 at night, cellcept 1000mg morn and night, oh get one stuck in ur throat, oh its soo bad, and it seems so hard to get rid of the taste