I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: pagandialysis on January 06, 2012, 09:58:39 PM

Title: Random Depression....again
Post by: pagandialysis on January 06, 2012, 09:58:39 PM
Today was amazing. I felt great. I got up, I went and knocked out the shopping list my wife gave me. I was out on my own, driving around the city. I felt normal again. Like I could actually do things. I came home, I put stuff away, cleaned the kitchen, and then cleaned out the car. I felt so amazing. There was point where a song on the radio made me think about my dreams and how they were destroyed by the illness but I let that go. I tried to push it out of my mind. Then I went to see how my wife was doing. She is layed up with kidney stones again. When I entered the room she asked me about making a living will. Suddenly, reality came crashing down on me. This wasn't going to last, I would be in the chair tomorrow, my whole day would be shot and there was even the possibility of feeling bad the next day. A feeling of overwhelming dread just slammed me in the face.  :'(
Title: Re: Random Depression....again
Post by: Traveller1947 on January 06, 2012, 11:25:28 PM
No words of mine will comfort you, pagan, but  :cuddle; know that I feel for you and your lost dreams.
Title: Re: Random Depression....again
Post by: jeannea on January 06, 2012, 11:58:40 PM
I'm so sorry the good feeling didn't last longer. I understand depression. Hold on to what you can.
Title: Re: Random Depression....again
Post by: JustDee on January 07, 2012, 12:25:44 AM
Reality can be crushing .... just know that you are not alone!!!
Title: Re: Random Depression....again
Post by: willowtreewren on January 07, 2012, 06:48:25 AM
 :cuddle;

I wish that our support would be enough to lift you up. I realize that it isn't, but that is all that we can give.  :grouphug;

I hope things look up for you again.

Aleta
Title: Re: Random Depression....again
Post by: Whamo on January 07, 2012, 07:16:04 AM
We've all been there.  I just hang in there for the good times.    :grouphug;
Title: Re: Random Depression....again
Post by: billybags on January 07, 2012, 09:26:35 AM
You have had a good day, look forward to other days.
Title: Re: Random Depression....again
Post by: lmunchkin on January 07, 2012, 07:15:16 PM
  :grouphug;  to you. It can be a bit "Heavy" sometimes.  Tomorrow is another day!

lmunchkin
 :kickstart;
Title: Re: Random Depression....again
Post by: fearless on January 07, 2012, 08:11:52 PM
Oh man, I know EXACTLY what you are feeling.

that's all I can say.  because it's so F*****G bad

thank you for writing because every time I can think about the fact that another person knows this feeling, I feel a little bit better