I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: needlephobic on September 15, 2011, 06:37:26 PM
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My Psychologist I have been seeing for my needle phobia has ordered the staff at my D center to lay a D needle next to me while I am doing dialysis. It is to be still in the wrapper for now until I get comfortable with it. Then it will be removed from packet and taped to my arm until I am comfortable with it then we will try sticking me oh boy. Sounds stupid I know but this fear is hard to get over. We tried it today freaked out but thanks to the D.O.N who stood buy to get me focused and help me get the needle off my mind sure helped. and I was able to set there my whole treatment with it next to me. Still have along way to go.
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Oh, that's really interesting. Thank you for writing about how they plan to help you with this fear. Keep telling us! I do hope this works for you. I am so glad that they are finally really addressing this situation. Step by step by step. Be strong and patient with yourself. I'm really proud of you.
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Kudos to you for trying to work through this! :clap;
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:thumbup; I can imagine how tough it is, I too have a fear of needles, but look forward to hearing about the process you are trying.
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It is really hard for me to set there with that needle looking at me. My Psychologist told me that I am not afraid of needles. I am afraid of what ever traumatized me will happen again that is why I fight or run if somebody comes at me with a needle. That's why I asked the D.O.N if somebody can be there to talk to me and help me get the needle off my mind and it worked was still nervous but still did it hopefully as every time I do D it will get better. As I was told it is a start.
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dang, this brought me close to tears... I so hope this works for you.. It just gives me the hebie geebies to think of it so i am very proud of your accomplishment so far. I wish you the very best with this.... so proud of you, i KNOW it's so hard.
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well done for trying to overcome this fear
baby steps and you'll get there, might take a bit of time though :2thumbsup; :yahoo; :thumbup; :clap;
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yes, baby steps! can i relate a story that might help?
when my middle daughter was 18 months old, i had a 3.5 yr old, 8 yr old, and was 8 months pregnant. my H (then) was active duty and gone alot. this one daughter was tiny and petite and a loving little thing.
she contracted a virus, which over a 6 week period did not get better with meds. it resulted in her being put in the hospital for a week. during this time she had tests and IV, catheter, and other interventions. these were necessary because she was very sick. i stayed with her during the day, H stayed with her at night. she finally responded to the meds and was able to come home.
for the next month she was traumatized and clung to me 24/7. when i couldn't go on without sleep, i slept on the floor next to her crib. this was the only way to get her to sleep and rest for me.
i had a psychologist to help during this time and she had me purchase a small toy medical kit and a "Dr.Barbie".
each day, just for a few minutes, she and i would work with these toys. only a few mins at a time. at first she couldn't even see them without crying in fear. we would bring them out, look at them a few mins and then put them away. very slowly we began to open them and handle them. gradually i showed her what they were for (on myself), and even slower, she began to handle them and use them, like the plastic thermometer and stethoscope. we role played with the doll, again very slowly.
after about 2 weeks, she would toddle over, open the dresser door and take them out. another few days and she was carrying them around. she wasn't verbalizing like an adult of course but i knew she was relaying best she could. about a week after that she was sleeping with the doll and carrying the med kit around with her.
and she was able to sleep in her crib (without me on the floor). within a month she had recovered a decent amount and though she and i still worked on this for a few more months, she eventually recovered from the trauma. today, this is the daughter (age 22) that works in a nursing home and volunteered to donate a kidney.
this was good because just over a month after this, i delivered a 10.3lb baby girl by C section and hurricane hugo swept through our town.
it sounds like a good plan he has you on, you can do it! :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;
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Great story Noob and you really had to work at that, but you succeeded. Noob, you can do it too. Hang tough.Give it the time it needs too.
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This doesn't sound at all stupid needlephobic..it sounds like a courageous move and a good plan. I too will be interested to hear how things go.
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That sounds like a great plan! Baby steps, right? (Makes me think of "What About Bob?") I know you can do this, just don't rush it. I don't think I have to tell you how very proud we all are of you for your persistence. That's half the battle. :cuddle;
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Back in the "day" when a child use to have to spend days in the hospital to have their tonsils removed, I had a MALE NURSE, grab me by the arm, and just about jerk me out of the bed, and told me: "STOP YOUR CRYING OR I'LL GIVE YOU A SHOT WITH A NEEDLE AND GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!!!!". Of course, he was hold a syringe with a needle in it at the time.
Till this day, I have a FEAR of needles, and I can NOT STAND to be grabbed or touched in the "spot" on my arm. It has been over 40 years, and the thought of a needle, terrifies me!!!! That is why I LOVE DIALYSIS so much!!!!!! Sometimes, I still have panic attacks, just thinking about it!
Your are NOT ALONE!!!!!
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:clap; :yahoo; :2thumbsup; :cuddle;
That is so awesome that you took the first step and now they are trying to help!
I still have my fear of needles but I'm slowly dealing with it. I absolutely cannot watch while they stick me! It's not the pain so much as the thought of that thing going into me! I was very conflicted about letting them start using my fistula (which I put off getting for as long as I could!) I didn't want to get stuck BUT I was getting tired of not being able to take a proper shower or go swimming. (I LOVE to swim). I had my cath pulled one year to the day that it was put in (April 28). They told me not to shower that night so the next day, I got under that stream and stood there until the hot water ran out! :lol; This Summer, I practically lived in my pool! For me, that outweighed the ease of the cath.
You will continue to be in my prayers :pray; Maybe I'll call in a few "prayer warriors" that I know!
You know you are not alone! Just think of us all dialyzing there with you, keeping you distracted. :cuddle;
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I am sooooooo glad to hear that you are working on this, Needlephobic! I have been worried about you.
I have confidence that this plan will WORK! :2thumbsup;
Let us know every victory. This first one is huge. Congratulations! :clap; :clap; :clap;
Aleta
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I had a fear of needles before I started dialysis. Used to refuse to get blood draws and stuff. Then when I was diagnosed with ESRD, there was no other option really. So I said screw it, swallowed my fear and realized it couldn't kill me - or even really hurt me. So I took the needles like a man (which was odd, because before dialysis, I considered myself to be kind of a wimp and a baby, it turns out I'm like freakin' Rambo, actually. I just deal with stuff now!) and I learned to be afraid of other things.... like colonoscopies. I've had two since then. They still suck.
Anyway, babbling aside, I hope this helps you man - I know you've struggled with this, but I also know you can do it - you're obviously of strong mind and heart, with all the posts you placed on here, I see so much passion poured into the struggle and into the fear. Hopefully you can transfer some of that passion into accepting it. Good luck man, you deserve it - I want to see you get as well as you can be. Dialysis sucks, for sure.
~Steve
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I hated needles, but now I take it like a man, I would have this thought running through my mind, being stuck with a needle is a small price to pay for living, would I rather do the alternative and greeve my friends and family, or do I wanna pay that small price and be stuck 3 times a week, I chose to be stuck with the needle.
Good luck to you!
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when DH and i worked the rig, he would be ready to put iv in, and at that moment i would be chattering like a chipmunk to the patient and all of a sudden i'd make a kind of long weird noise and tuggle the patients ear, it distracted them as they were suddenly looking at me wondering why i'd made such an obscene noise, they didn't realize the iv was already in. ok it didn't work on everyone but alot it did..just something to hopefully make you chuckle..
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After following your other thread, I was very happy to read this post. I am very new to dialysis but I can already see how easy it is to just give up. There is nothing easy about any of this. We all have our fears and some are harder to deal with.
I am so glad that you are making progress and I hope you continue to move forward. You give us all hope!!
Bill
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Iam so Proud of you, Needlephobic. You did it! I know it was hard, but hey, you should give yourself credit. I know you will do it again too! As time goes on you will find that, although the stick may hurt, the needle is what keeps you going. You will learn to tolerate it better.
So glad to hear that they are willing to help you through this! God Bless you, Needlephobic. It took courage to do what you have done! :thumbup; :thumbup; :thumbup;
lmunchkin :kickstart;
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Thanks everybody for your support and kind words. With my phobia it has been a very hard road to go down.
Iam so Proud of you, Needlephobic. You did it! I know it was hard, but hey, you should give yourself credit. I know you will do it again too! As time goes on you will find that, although the stick may hurt, the needle is what keeps you going. You will learn to tolerate it better.
So glad to hear that they are willing to help you through this! God Bless you, Needlephobic. It took courage to do what you have done! :thumbup; :thumbup; :thumbup;
lmunchkin :kickstart;
I have not been stuck yet but working to get to that it just takes time. Right now the needle will be next to me so I can get use to it then taken out of wrapper and taped to my arm so I can get use to it being there then the real hard part getting stuck (((shivers))) freaking out thinking about it. They put the D needle in my bag that holds my blanket and pillow for me to take home why ? I don't know. I won't touch that thing .
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They put the D needle in my bag that holds my blanket and pillow for me to take home why ? I don't know. I won't touch that thing .
Perhaps you could take it out and look at it, after you've gotten used to it sitting next to you in the package, of course. It may make it a little easier to take it out of the package when the time comes. Just a thought
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Really proud of you, keep it up :bandance; :bandance;
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They put the D needle in my bag that holds my blanket and pillow for me to take home why ? I don't know. I won't touch that thing .
Perhaps you could take it out and look at it, after you've gotten used to it sitting next to you in the package, of course. It may make it a little easier to take it out of the package when the time comes. Just a thought
Not ready to touch that thing it still freaks me out it will help if they had somebody every time I do D to set with me to calm me down but alot of the staff don't understand my fear. At one time they thought I was jokeing and waved one in front of my face. She almost got hit. I am taking it one day at a time
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You know, needlephobic, I went back and read some of your very first posts here on IHD, and you may not realize it, but you've already made some real progress. I'm awfully impressed.
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You are not alone in this. Here is a link to an article on the fear of needles:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trypanophobia
I thought it was kind of cool that they listed a number of famous people that also share our fear.
Good Luck to you. Keep it up, you CAN do this!
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You know, needlephobic, I went back and read some of your very first posts here on IHD, and you may not realize it, but you've already made some real progress. I'm awfully impressed.
MM How have I made real progress since I started posting here? I feel Like I have not.
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Not too long ago, you were talking about giving up and dying alone. Everyone was a jerk and no one was helping you; no one cared, according to you. And here you are telling us about how you are being taken step by step, day by day, to a mindset where the fear will not be so crippling.
You have a really difficult task ahead. Having to master a phobia that is, for you, simply life-threatening is not a simple thing to do. But you are doing it. It won't happen overnight, but instead of constantly posting about why this won't work or that can't work, you are now actually allowing someone to help you. You used to summarily dismiss everyone as a waste of space. But now you have recognized that there is this one person who just might be able to help, and you are ALLOWING that person to help. So yes, I do see a lot of progress. Maybe you don't see it, but I sure do. 8)
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:2thumbsup;
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Not too long ago, you were talking about giving up and dying alone. Everyone was a jerk and no one was helping you; no one cared, according to you. And here you are telling us about how you are being taken step by step, day by day, to a mindset where the fear will not be so crippling.
You have a really difficult task ahead. Having to master a phobia that is, for you, simply life-threatening is not a simple thing to do. But you are doing it. It won't happen overnight, but instead of constantly posting about why this won't work or that can't work, you are now actually allowing someone to help you. You used to summarily dismiss everyone as a waste of space. But now you have recognized that there is this one person who just might be able to help, and you are ALLOWING that person to help. So yes, I do see a lot of progress. Maybe you don't see it, but I sure do. 8)
Everything people suggested I have tried I was not blowing them off. As I look at it now if what I am trying to do now doesn't work then I am done I tried everything so lets hope this works. So far it seams to work after I was settled down and was helped by the D.O.N to get me focused and my mind off the D needle in which I found out was the biggest needle they had (((shivers)))
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I know you weren't blowing anyone off. But the D.O.N. can't eradicate your fear without your help, without your active participation. You don't give yourself enough credit. :cuddle;
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Moosemom is right, Needlephobic. Ive read your posts also, and although you may not realize it, you really have come along way! You need to give yourself the credit, seriously! I really do understand the phobia! I had and still do somewhat a real fear of water! Iam petrified of it. I can at least wade in it and as long as I am standing, I can put my head under but immediately pop it back up! I believe thats why I have always preferred showers to baths.
Your fear is much more serious because of the "living" factor. Its not going to happen overnight, but continue to let the D.O.N. work with you. You can do this, I just know that you can. Hang in there and don't give up. You have helped alot of people on here to understand the realities of Phobia's. I don't care if people think you are faking, I know that your not, and others here know that too!
You are in our thoughts and we are here for you,
lmunchkin
:kickstart;
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needlephobic, you coming along pretty well! I am happy to see your progress. Honestly, I think you have come a long way as well! As a child I was terribly phobic of needles. Took many nurses/orderlies to pin me down just to draw my blood. Gradually I became less fearful. Then dialysis happened. For years I couldn't look at them putting in the needles; I would freeze up just looking at the needle in the package. Then one day I decided I was tired of people stabbing me the wrong way, and forcefully told myself to watch the needle go in. After that I was able to direct the tech (usually) when something was amiss. Recently I decided that I had to get over another fear: handling the large needles by myself. I asked to be trained for self-cannulation, and the clinic approved. Let me tell you, the very first time I had to do it myself (after sometime training, of course), I was feeling like when I was a child all over again. Extremely nervous, I was sweating profusely, just staring at my arm with the needle in my other hand. Finally, I worked the will to push myself to do it. No looking back. It was baby steps all the way for me to get where I am with needles now.
I feel fortunate to have been able to move in my lifetime from needle phobia to self-cannulating myself. Those damn needles are scary things, you aren't alone in thinking that. I hope you are able to conquer your fear, and I wish you all the best.
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Moosemom is right, Needlephobic. Ive read your posts also, and although you may not realize it, you really have come along way! You need to give yourself the credit, seriously! I really do understand the phobia! I had and still do somewhat a real fear of water! Iam petrified of it. I can at least wade in it and as long as I am standing, I can put my head under but immediately pop it back up! I believe thats why I have always preferred showers to baths.
Your fear is much more serious because of the "living" factor. Its not going to happen overnight, but continue to let the D.O.N. work with you. You can do this, I just know that you can. Hang in there and don't give up. You have helped alot of people on here to understand the realities of Phobia's. I don't care if people think you are faking, I know that your not, and others here know that too!
You are in our thoughts and we are here for you,
lmunchkin
I don't feel like I come a long way with this phobia. I take 2 steps forward and 6 steps back. The prob is they will help me one day and won't the next day. I don't think the staff takes me serious and that I am faking it. Which is untrue. The staff needs to help me every time I go in for D but they don't. They complain alot when my chest cath acts up but will not help me overcome my fear. There are times I just want to give up cause I feel it is hopeless. Then there are times I want to beat this disease but this fear holds me back. With this phobia there is a trust problem. It is hard for me to trust anybody in the medical Field do to when I was traumatized as a young boy. When you got a Neph like mine and all he does is come in and set there and look at you and the questions you ask he don't answers or laughs in your face you kinda don't want to trust him or anybody who takes care of you. Example about a week ago they told me there was a order for a IV drip they don't know who ordered it and what it was for but was still going to give it to me. Anybody with a right mind would have asked whoever in charge about it or call the Nephs to confirm but no just going to give it to me anyway and I am supposed to trust these people think not.
Edited: Fixed quote tag error - okarol/admin
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I too have read your posts & I agree that you have come a long way. You have taken the most difficult step: the first one. Don't give up now, keep standing up for yourself! There's a song that I heard the other day that reminded me of you. I don't remember the name or exactly what it said but it was about getting knocked down but not being moved. That's you. You have been knocked down over & over but you are still holding your ground.
I wish I was there to give you a real hug & tell you how proud I am of you but for now, this will have to do: :cuddle; :yahoo;
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np - I am so glad to read this thread. I know you feel you have not made progress, but the most important thing for me to read is that you are STILL giving it a go, receiving help, and giving it your best shot. That's all you or anyone else should expect from you.
I can't begin to imagine how difficult it is for you. I do not have a fear like that. Yeah, I hate needles, and I looked away and thought about girls or some other nice distraction when it was being done, but that's miles from your fear. I'm not even going to pretend to offer some kind of advice or suggestions at this point because I'm hardly qualified, and clearly you're trying everything - with the support of professionals. This is so important I think.
Again I think it is so good that you are trying as hard as you can and have the right (hopefully) sort of help for you. Keep plugging away. I really hope you can get there and be able to get the sort of treatment you nreed.
I know for sure so many people on this site support you and want the best - just read the responses in this and other threads. Hopefully that can help you even alittle bit as you struggle against this fear.
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needlephobic, I know this may sound counterintuitive, but the fact that you have so little trust in your clinic staff is EXACTLY why you need to continue down this path of freeing yourself of this phobia. You have two things working against you...the phobia and the distrust. They feed each other, so you need to try to unravel them and conquer them separately.
There IS someone who is helping you, and that is the D.O.N. It must be extremely frustrating to have help one session but not the next. You are right; you need this assistance at EACH session. I would suggest having a quiet word with the D.O.N. and telling him/her how much you appreciate the help and how you feel like you are really making progress when s/he is working with you. Ask if it is possible that s/he can be there each time you dialyze.
I suspect that most people at your clinic understand that you have a phobia, but they may not understand how to deal with it or how to really wrap their heads around it. Let's face it; people who are not on dialysis may have all the sympathy in the world and may understand that it is not an ideal way to live, but despite their best intentions, they do not truly understand. We shouldn't really expect them to. A lot of people don't pay a great deal of attention to things they can't fundamentally fathom, so I am thinking that this is what is happening at your clinic. I don't think they suspect that you are faking anything. It's just that they truly do not deeply understand either the genesis of your phobia or the tenacity of it. They don't know what to do about it, so they probably just try to underplay it. It doesn't really matter what they think. It doesn't matter if they think you are faking it or if they think it's for real...the end result is that they don't know what to do about it, anyway, so their opinion is irrelevant.
Obviously someone believes you, though, since you have the D.O.N. working with you. All you need is that one person.
There are many, many patients who do not have your phobia but still have the trust issues that you do. I'd imagine that most people who post here on IHD don't completely trust everyone who provides them their care, whether it be the neph or the clinic staff. I'd imagine that most people who are chronically ill and therefore spend a lot of time with medical people do not trust them all 100% of the time. So trust issues are legion! All the more reason to take control of your own care whenever possible, and a good start is to continue to work to beat this phobia.
Be patient with yourself, give yourself credit where credit is due, and admit to yourself that you are showing a tremendous amount of personal courage.
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needlephobic, I know this may sound counterintuitive, but the fact that you have so little trust in your clinic staff is EXACTLY why you need to continue down this path of freeing yourself of this phobia. You have two things working against you...the phobia and the distrust. They feed each other, so you need to try to unravel them and conquer them separately.
There IS someone who is helping you, and that is the D.O.N. It must be extremely frustrating to have help one session but not the next. You are right; you need this assistance at EACH session. I would suggest having a quiet word with the D.O.N. and telling him/her how much you appreciate the help and how you feel like you are really making progress when s/he is working with you. Ask if it is possible that s/he can be there each time you dialyze.
I suspect that most people at your clinic understand that you have a phobia, but they may not understand how to deal with it or how to really wrap their heads around it. Let's face it; people who are not on dialysis may have all the sympathy in the world and may understand that it is not an ideal way to live, but despite their best intentions, they do not truly understand. We shouldn't really expect them to. A lot of people don't pay a great deal of attention to things they can't fundamentally fathom, so I am thinking that this is what is happening at your clinic. I don't think they suspect that you are faking anything. It's just that they truly do not deeply understand either the genesis of your phobia or the tenacity of it. They don't know what to do about it, so they probably just try to underplay it. It doesn't really matter what they think. It doesn't matter if they think you are faking it or if they think it's for real...the end result is that they don't know what to do about it, anyway, so their opinion is irrelevant.
Obviously someone believes you, though, since you have the D.O.N. working with you. All you need is that one person.
There are many, many patients who do not have your phobia but still have the trust issues that you do. I'd imagine that most people who post here on IHD don't completely trust everyone who provides them their care, whether it be the neph or the clinic staff. I'd imagine that most people who are chronically ill and therefore spend a lot of time with medical people do not trust them all 100% of the time. So trust issues are legion! All the more reason to take control of your own care whenever possible, and a good start is to continue to work to beat this phobia.
Be patient with yourself, give yourself credit where credit is due, and admit to yourself that you are showing a tremendous amount of personal courage.
:clap; Amen! MM you are truly a gem!
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Well said, MM. Check with D O N & see if they can't come to every session. They could make all the difference in the world! Hang in there Needlephobic. We'll support you along the way, ok?
lmunchkin
:kickstart;
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I understand what your saying MM just wish the staff at the center understood my phobia. If only they could live in my shoes for a week or so.It just feels like they are blowing me off. If they want to stick me bad enough then help me thats all I ask.
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I understand what your saying MM just wish the staff at the center understood my phobia. If only they could live in my shoes for a week or so.It just feels like they are blowing me off. If they want to stick me bad enough then help me thats all I ask.
They are not going to understand your phobia. They are not going to live in your shoes for a week. Please don't add the extra burden of pie-in-the-sky wishes to your already beleaguered shoulders.
I would like for you to clarify something for me, though. When you say that the staff don't understand, do you really mean that they don't CARE? I confess that I don't understand your phobia. I understand that you HAVE a phobia, but because I don't have one, I can't be honest and tell you that I understand how you feel. But that doesn't mean that I don't CARE.
Now, it is possible that your staff really DOESN'T care. If that's the case, and they repeatedly refuse to help you, then that's real cause for concern. Who arranged to have the D.O.N. help you? Apparently at least one person cares enough to arrange for the D.O.N. to be there with you. Can you tell us a bit more about how often the D.O.N. will be with you? It seems that this is one possible avenue that can give you some real hope and results.
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I understand what your saying MM just wish the staff at the center understood my phobia. If only they could live in my shoes for a week or so.It just feels like they are blowing me off. If they want to stick me bad enough then help me thats all I ask.
They are not going to understand your phobia. They are not going to live in your shoes for a week. Please don't add the extra burden of pie-in-the-sky wishes to your already beleaguered shoulders.
I would like for you to clarify something for me, though. When you say that the staff don't understand, do you really mean that they don't CARE? I confess that I don't understand your phobia. I understand that you HAVE a phobia, but because I don't have one, I can't be honest and tell you that I understand how you feel. But that doesn't mean that I don't CARE.
Now, it is possible that your staff really DOESN'T care. If that's the case, and they repeatedly refuse to help you, then that's real cause for concern. Who arranged to have the D.O.N. help you? Apparently at least one person cares enough to arrange for the D.O.N. to be there with you. Can you tell us a bit more about how often the D.O.N. will be with you? It seems that this is one possible avenue that can give you some real hope and results.
OK when I first started D I informed the Neph and the staff of my phobia. all I got in responce was ok when it is time to stick you you won't be a problem. About a month and a half I came in for treatment and the set my chair up wrong they had two D needles setting there and I froze and the next thing I know they were circling me about 6 staff trying to get me to the chair. They almost got hit by me cause I got in the mode of fight or flight. After that social worker started working with me but she retired early like 2 months early. She told me they care the Powers that be about the money that the people they are caring for. Then had a tech working with me to get over my fear and she up and quit after about a week of trying to work with me. Had another tech that tried to help me after a couple of weeks of him not being in my section asked him if he was still going to help me.He told me The powers that be (Nephs) told him not to have anything to do with me. A week later he told me they asked him to resign there was no real reason for him to resign. I received a letter from the center telling me I would have to look elsewhere for help with my phobia. So I did it took about 5 to 6 months to find somebody to help me with my phobia nobody is educated about it. Now my Psychologist wants them to put out a D needle everytime I go in for treatment So I talked with the D.O.N and she said sure after you are hooked up I asked if somebody can stay with me to calm me down and she did. The last treatments she did not ask about it or see how I am doing. All I know is the neph does his monthly visit and just wants to stick me. I am really thinking about getting the Psychologist to call up there and tell them his self maybe they will listen to another Doc more than they will me.
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It certainly does seem that the staff don't know the difference between having a fear and having a true phobia. I'd bet that all patients experience fear of the needles, especially at first, but this is very different from having a phobia, so I'm thinking that the staff just really don't know what to do. And it does seem that no one is going out of their way to help you, but it does look like your psychologist and the D.O.N. HAVE done a bit more to calm you down. So, maybe you can concentrate on getting those two people. Your idea of getting your psychologist to call the clinic and talking to them about your phobia is a very good one because I think you are correct in thinking that one doc talking to another may result in better communication than a patient talking to a doctor. I'd really recommend that you make this happen.
I'm really sorry that you are having to deal with this. It's soul-destroying feeling like no one gives a crap about you. I don't know if it helps in real life, but I can assure you that we here on IHD will support you the best we can through cyberspace. If there is anything you think we can do from behind a computer to help you, please let us know.
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It certainly does seem that the staff don't know the difference between having a fear and having a true phobia. I'd bet that all patients experience fear of the needles, especially at first, but this is very different from having a phobia, so I'm thinking that the staff just really don't know what to do. And it does seem that no one is going out of their way to help you, but it does look like your psychologist and the D.O.N. HAVE done a bit more to calm you down. So, maybe you can concentrate on getting those two people. Your idea of getting your psychologist to call the clinic and talking to them about your phobia is a very good one because I think you are correct in thinking that one doc talking to another may result in better communication than a patient talking to a doctor. I'd really recommend that you make this happen.
I'm really sorry that you are having to deal with this. It's soul-destroying feeling like no one gives a crap about you. I don't know if it helps in real life, but I can assure you that we here on IHD will support you the best we can through cyberspace. If there is anything you think we can do from behind a computer to help you, please let us know.
MM it seams to me every one at the center who goes out of there way to help me the powers to be come down on them and they either quite there job or retire early or be asked to resign. its like the powers that be don't want nobody to help me. Its like let him suffer and freak out everytime they come at me with a needle like they are getting a chuckle out of it just don't know. That's another reason it is hard for me to trust anybody who says I will help you makes me wonder for how long. My Psychologist after about 2 sessions Pissed me off on perpose to see emotions from me because I was trying to feel him out to see if I can trust him he was feeling me out to see if he could help me. He did this so I could trust him and tell him anything in his office. As he put it My office is a safe haven to talk about anything and he wanted me to open up and not bottle it all in. I wonder when you said cyber help I can use my laptop at D and I am on Skype just wonder if having a IHD friend talking to me on Skype would help me get my mind off the needle?
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Ooooh, skype! What a brilliant idea!
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Ooooh, skype! What a brilliant idea!
Ok brilliant idea anybody want to help me? Sounds stupid I know.
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Just because I think skype is a great idea doesn't mean that I know how it works! :rofl; But maybe someone else here does. My laptop has a webcam that I just discovered last week (I've had it for over a year), but I have no idea how to use it. Technology is obviously not my thing. :P
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All I have to say is YAAAYYYY!!!! :yahoo;
Good for you and I know that you will overcome this fear!!!! So proud of you!!!!!!!
just remember baby steps!!!
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Just because I think skype is a great idea doesn't mean that I know how it works! :rofl; But maybe someone else here does. My laptop has a webcam that I just discovered last week (I've had it for over a year), but I have no idea how to use it. Technology is obviously not my thing. :P
Well MM goto skype web site download the free version set it up look for friends and make a call skype is free if it is skype to skype
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Skype was great for free video chatting with Jenna when she was in Paris.
:clap;
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I have Web cam on my laptop too, but don't know how to use it either. I believe people who have Web cam can talk back and forth on it. Any of you tech saavy people know whether this is true. And if so, how it works, so MM & I can look at each other!!! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
lmunchkin :kickstart;
P.S. Wouldnt it be neat to do that, if you could?
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I'd be up for that, lmunchkin.
Needlephobic, would your clinic let you talk to someone via skype while they were sticking you? Why not ask them?
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I think it would be great!!!! Heck, if we could do that, I'd just dial you up and tale with you person to person. That would be awesome. Nobody would have to write replys, you could just look at one another while having a conversation!
Ive never heard of skype! But if it would help you, then please by all means, ask them! DO YOU think it will help?
lmunchkin
:kickstart;
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I'd be up for that, lmunchkin.
Needlephobic, would your clinic let you talk to someone via skype while they were sticking you? Why not ask them?
Don't see why not they let me talk on skype while I am doing D
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Maybe you are on to something here Needlephobic! Anything to help you in the process.
lmunch
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Skype was great for free video chatting with Jenna when she was in Paris.
:clap;
Agreed. I skyped Gregory every day and showed him England when I was over there last year. And I skype talk to my dad several times a week.
So MM and/or LMunch, join skype, you choose yourself a username. Send that username by PM to Needlephobic. He seems to already be a skyper? Needle will search for you on skype and send a request to connect, and then you will be "skype" contacts. When you are both in skype at once, if you look at your contacts list, you will see that the other person's contact icon is green. You can then either "chat" with them, call them (voice only) or video call them (sometimes when my internet connection gets bad, I revert back to audio only, the video version takes more internet-ness. More broadband? More something.
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Here is the skype website.
http://www.skype.com/intl/en/home
I think from memory, you download the software and that is when you set up your username, during the download process.
Do you think we can get a commission out of this? for flogging free software... :waiting;
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I'm so, so , so happy you're working through this, and it all sounds very promising! :2thumbsup; I, too, am very interested in the process of this and, of course, the outcome! Keep us posted!!! :cuddle;
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OT but....
I'm more than happy to help any single ladies with their webcams.....
:rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
:shy;
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I'd be up for that, lmunchkin.
Needlephobic, would your clinic let you talk to someone via skype while they were sticking you? Why not ask them?
Don't see why not they let me talk on skype while I am doing D
Oh, they could think of all sorts of reasons, I'm sure. ::)
But the real question isn't whether or not they'll let you talk via skype while dialyzing, rather, the question is whether or not they'd let you do this while being cannulated because it is the fear of needles, not the fear of dialysis per se, that is the problem. Or have I missed something?
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I'd be up for that, lmunchkin.
Needlephobic, would your clinic let you talk to someone via skype while they were sticking you? Why not ask them?
Don't see why not they let me talk on skype while I am doing D
Oh, they could think of all sorts of reasons, I'm sure. ::)
But the real question isn't whether or not they'll let you talk via skype while dialyzing, rather, the question is whether or not they'd let you do this while being cannulated because it is the fear of needles, not the fear of dialysis per se, that is the problem. Or have I missed something?
MM I hate Dialysis but totally terrified of needles can't stand the sight of them. Right now my Psychologist wants them to lay a D needle next to me still wrapped up then unwrapped until I get use to it. Then tape it to my arm then one day stick me with one when I am confortable with the needle that's going to be the hard part. I do have that D needle here at my apartment in the bag that holds my pillow and blanket. The Psychologist suggest that I take it out at home but I am to scared to even touch that thing right now.
It seams the staff at the center don't want to help or don't understand what is going on. I just need somebody to talk to me get me calmed down and focused. Is that to much to ask D.O.N did it once after I asked her to help me. The rest of the time just hi in passing while I set there.
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Yep, I get it, and I am thinking that your skype idea might indeed serve as a good distraction while you are being cannulated. But my question is will your center allow this? Or failing that, can you call someone and be talking to them on the phone while you are being cannulated? Would that help you? If so, would your center allow it? Would your psychologist think it would be helpful?
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I know that when I start to get hooked up at Dialysis, my G/F always stands beside of me and "distractst me" by talking about something. If she isn't there, one of the nurses will always come over in her stead. All you have to do is ask, I'm sure that one of the nurses or Techs or the Social Worker would be happy to distract you!
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I don't have skype (I have dial-up) but I would be more than happy to talk on the phone with you.
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Yep, I get it, and I am thinking that your skype idea might indeed serve as a good distraction while you are being cannulated. But my question is will your center allow this? Or failing that, can you call someone and be talking to them on the phone while you are being cannulated? Would that help you? If so, would your center allow it? Would your psychologist think it would be helpful?
I really don't think they will have a prob with somebody talking to me on skype.
I don't have skype (I have dial-up) but I would be more than happy to talk on the phone with you.
I don't know if just talking on a phone will help me a face of a person talking to me will help.
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I would be happy to help you out, needlephobic if you dialyze in the afternoons. What's your dialysis schedule? In which time zone are you? If you are absolutely sure that your clinic will let you talk to me on skype while you are being cannulated (please ask them first!), I'll try to learn how to use skype. Also, I'd be really grateful if you could mention this scheme to your psychologist. I have a fear of saying the wrong thing while they're sticking you and just making it all worse!
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I would be happy to help you out, needlephobic if you dialyze in the afternoons. What's your dialysis schedule? In which time zone are you? If you are absolutely sure that your clinic will let you talk to me on skype while you are being cannulated (please ask them first!), I'll try to learn how to use skype. Also, I'd be really grateful if you could mention this scheme to your psychologist. I have a fear of saying the wrong thing while they're sticking you and just making it all worse!
MM I am not ready to be stuck yet Have to work up to being stuck ((((shivers)))) All I need is somebody to talk to me tell me everything is alright just need to be calmed down I don't think they got a prob with it. I am in central time zone I do D on Tues Thurs and SAT at 7:30 am yes the early shift
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Yep, I get it, and I am thinking that your skype idea might indeed serve as a good distraction while you are being cannulated. But my question is will your center allow this? Or failing that, can you call someone and be talking to them on the phone while you are being cannulated? Would that help you? If so, would your center allow it? Would your psychologist think it would be helpful?
I really don't think they will have a prob with somebody talking to me on skype.
I don't have skype (I have dial-up) but I would be more than happy to talk on the phone with you.
I don't know if just talking on a phone will help me a face of a person talking to me will help.
Iunderstand. But he you ever need of, consider these coincidences: I'm in the central time zone; I go Tues, Thurs, Sat; my appointments are 6:30 am. :2thumbsup;
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Yep, I get it, and I am thinking that your skype idea might indeed serve as a good distraction while you are being cannulated. But my question is will your center allow this? Or failing that, can you call someone and be talking to them on the phone while you are being cannulated? Would that help you? If so, would your center allow it? Would your psychologist think it would be helpful?
I really don't think they will have a prob with somebody talking to me on skype.
I don't have skype (I have dial-up) but I would be more than happy to talk on the phone with you.
I don't know if just talking on a phone will help me a face of a person talking to me will help.
Iunderstand. But he you ever need of, consider these coincidences: I'm in the central time zone; I go Tues, Thurs, Sat; my appointments are 6:30 am. :2thumbsup;
That would work your already up and going before they hook me up.
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Anytime, NP! :cuddle;
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Well I did something this evening that I thought I couldn't do I actually pick up the D needle out of the bag that holds my pillow and blanket and set it beside me for a while with the help of my girlfriend and skype
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Well I did something this evening that I thought I couldn't do I actually pick up the D needle out of the bag that holds my pillow and blanket and wet it beside me for a while with the help of my girlfriend and skype
In all honesty, this is the best news I've heard all weekend. Congratulations! You're a star!!!
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:bandance; :cheer: :yahoo; :2thumbsup; :clap; :bow; . Wow! That is great news! There just aren't enough smileys to express how happy I am for you!
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Got some more good news a tech at my center is recouping from foot surgery and is not supposed to hook or unhook people to the machine for about 2 more weeks. She has agreed to set with me when we put the D needle by me to help me calm down and keep me focused. Just hope she don't get in to trouble or fired. It seems everybody that tried to help me retired early or was forced to quit or asked to resign. :pray;
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I suspect that if she really thought she'd get into trouble or would lose her job just because she agreed to sit with you, she wouldn't have offered in the first place.
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That's great! You've been making such strides already, who knows what you'll be able to face after 2 weeks.
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I suspect that if she really thought she'd get into trouble or would lose her job just because she agreed to sit with you, she wouldn't have offered in the first place.
MM I asked her to set with me and like I said everybody that tried to help me there are no longer working there. I just hope they don't get rid of her.
That's great! You've been making such strides already, who knows what you'll be able to face after 2 weeks.
Yes I am making small strides. For my IHD family that don't understand of what it is being afraid of needles. What I am doing is very hard for me. Some people might think setting with a D needle next to me is stupid but my fear of them is controlling me and I freak out at the sight of a needle. I have avoided needles and Doctors all my life. If I don't have somebody with me when the needle is placed I will freak out and hurt myself trying to get out of that chair. Just need somebody to talk to me and calm me down and let me get used to it setting next to me. Its called baby steps and takes time. Thanks for all the support I really need it . Sorry if I offended anybody.
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To be honest, I always thought I had a phobia for needles until I met you. Now I realise it was just dislike. I've always been able to convince myself that I needed it & dealt with it. My true phobia would be spiders. I don't care how small, I panic. My husband has to come rescue me if I'm in a room and the spider is between me & the door. I'll cry & get sick to my stomach if I have to wait but I can't move past it. I do know the source of my fear, I was bitten when I was in high school & had a severe reaction (still have the scars). My husband & I are a perfect match because he has a similar phobia to snakes & lizards. They don't bother me at all. I do kind of understand your fear & really admire your strength in letting them set one beside you and even handling a needle! I know, at this point, I could NOT do the same with a spider. I don't think you have offended anyone, but if you have, so what? Nobody is forced to read or comment on your posts! Hang in there, you are stronger than you are giving yourself credit.
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Aye Needle the baby steps are good. you are trying your best, keep up the good work.
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I am new to dialysis, and I still use a catheter. I dread the day I get a fistula because I hate the sight of needles. I always look away when they poke me. I see my vascular surgeon soon so I guess I will have to get used to it. I wish you luck in overcoming your fear.
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I have been on dialysis for 14 yrs. First it was PD, because I'm absolutely afraid of needles. Can't even watch them on TV or in a movie because I'll panic. For the last 4 yrs I've been on nocturnal home hemo and I have a catheter. I had one infection a couple years ago and my nurse went all "fistula" on me. Man, did I ever freak out!! I still don't have one and I've not had another infection, touch wood! I hate the thought of needles, especially doing it at home myself. An IHD friend told me it's better to do it yourself because you have control and know how you want it done. I can't even look when they take blood so how am I supposed to self cannulate? I have been thinking about trying hypnosis. It worked for my jealousy (which I will tell you was ruining and ruling my life!!) so maybe it can work for my phobia.
I feel for you, Needlephobic!! You're doing WAY better than me! You will be the one who inspires me!! Thank you!
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Needleman!
OMG! you have come so very far! This is fantastic! You are absolutely going to be able to do this!
Congratulations!
:2thumbsup;
Aleta
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I've been on Dialysis for over 7 years and I still have a phobia related to needles, so I understand what you're going through. Every time I have someone who is new to the clinic hook me up, I start sweating profusely. I've had so many traumatic moments over the years with inadequate needle insertion. So every time someone new approaches me, all those horrible memories step out of the shadows in my psyche and cause me to become agitated.
I could be on Dialysis the remainder of my life & I'll probably never cure myself of these personal issues.