I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: needlephobic on August 05, 2011, 01:23:26 PM

Title: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 05, 2011, 01:23:26 PM
ESRD Network 13 wanted me to write a paper about life being on dialysis being a needle phobic. I was being  PR for them at my center but this week they took it away from me just because I have not had my fistula stuck do to my fear. They didn't want me to scare any new person to the center away or tell them I am afraid of needles. and since I never been stuck that disqualifies me from talking to the new people about  fistulas. If that is so my Neph nurses techs social worker So that means they are disqualified because they never sat in that chair and had the life sucked out of them. So why should I belive anything that comes out of there mouths? Thursday I went in and chest cath wasn't working they had to un hook me and send me home. So as of now I am done with dialysis can't trust anybody that works there. Can't do needles and No tube in my belly refuse to be butchered up for it to fail. No nore caths cause I am Done
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: kellyt on August 05, 2011, 01:45:43 PM
Oh no!  What a horrible fear to have when you need dialysis!  I am sooo sorry!  Maybe you could try to find one more place before making such a big decision?   :pray;    We're here for you.   :cuddle;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Cricket on August 05, 2011, 01:56:09 PM
I was very saddened to hear about your dilemma............ I'm new to dialysis (2 months) and wound up that way due to life long diabetes (diagnosed at 14) and insuln dependent ever since.  4 shots a day!!!  OMG!!!  So I  CAN'T be needlephobic......... I have no choice, or die at the age of 14.
I'm having a rough time a the dialysis center.I hate it.  No other way of putting it.
Some nurses are nice; others, too rough for my liking.
No permanent access yet. they have to do a graft..........  I hate it all.
Hang in there - try to find some options.  OK?    Love to you......>> Cricket (Chris)
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: tbarrett2533 on August 05, 2011, 03:32:39 PM
ESRD Network 13 wanted me to write a paper about life being on dialysis being a needle phobic. I was being  PR for them at my center but this week they took it away from me just because I have not had my fistula stuck do to my fear. They didn't want me to scare any new person to the center away or tell them I am afraid of needles. and since I never been stuck that disqualifies me from talking to the new people about  fistulas. If that is so my Neph nurses techs social worker So that means they are disqualified because they never sat in that chair and had the life sucked out of them. So why should I belive anything that comes out of there mouths? Thursday I went in and chest cath wasn't working they had to un hook me and send me home. So as of now I am done with dialysis can't trust anybody that works there. Can't do needles and No tube in my belly refuse to be butchered up for it to fail. No nore caths cause I am Done

Please explore your options.... PD may be just perfect for you (if you can do it) b/c there is NO NEEDLES!!
Good luck
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: galvo on August 05, 2011, 07:31:05 PM
Bloody hard to respond to your post, needlephobic.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: jbeany on August 05, 2011, 08:23:43 PM
 :grouphug;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: monrein on August 05, 2011, 09:01:25 PM
 :grouphug;  I hope you won't give up.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: MooseMom on August 05, 2011, 09:13:41 PM
Well, wait a minute...are you saying that it is no longer possible to receive dialysis via your cath?  Has it stopped working altogether?
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Jean on August 06, 2011, 12:33:39 AM
Dont give up!!! Never give up!!! You are not alone. You really need to check out PD. Please do so.   :grouphug;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: kristina on August 06, 2011, 02:46:45 AM

I am so sorry to read about your dilemma, needlephobic,
and I do hope you find help soon.

Best wishes from Kristina. :grouphug;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: daveosaurus on August 06, 2011, 01:20:04 PM
I understand where you're coming from. I have a catheter in my chest and a new, not ready to use, fistula in my right arm. I haven't been stuck yet but I've seen the needles and they do look pretty darn big, even the smaller 17 gauge ones. The big 14 gauge ones look like bicycle spokes and they scare me to death. But think about all the people who go through dialysis every day. They get through it and I figure we can too. So at least try. Are you really ready to die? There's no sugar coating it. That's what will happen if you quit. SO DON'T QUIT! Because you never know when the next breakthrough could happen and wouldn't you hate to be put in the ground the day before that happens? Fight this monster for as long as you can.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: boswife on August 06, 2011, 08:33:46 PM
i really dont think it's 'your time' to be giving up.  Dont loose your life for the sake of needles.Thats even scarrier and they'll probably stick you with something else anyway.  I know ive mentioned that i too am a phob, and realise im not the one on the recieving end, ..........but i AM the one who has to do the sticking.  Believe me it took lots of work and months before i was able to do without feling like i was going to die myself, but i survived and you can too.  I know yours is worse even than mine, your in the CANT do it, i know that place.......but i am stubborn enough that when i knew what was right for hubby, my cant became HAD TO.. so through i truly felt i would die from doing it, i am now his canulater.   Please, see what they can do as far as 'putting you out' (probably in the hospital?) and getting you started that way.  Get stubborn, and be well... I hope i havent offended, and i hope to hear from you soon...   :grouphug;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: dyann on August 06, 2011, 10:14:58 PM
I am really sorry about what you are going through I do understand I am on my 5th fistula in a year and a half first two never took third one is working but having issues so they put a 4th in my other arm it recently stopped working so set to have another one on the 15th.  cant do caths anymore I always get really sick, and I do home hemo  and yes I stick myself.  I cant imagen having a fear of needles but I do know that I need to stay alive for my children but more important for  me. I have gotten very depressed and wanted to give up even stopped doing treatments on a regular basis or came off them early,  sometimes we have to say enough is enough because we feel the need to take control  back  and thats ok,  but at some point you have to make a decision between life and death  because lets face it thats the bottom line, It is ok to get down and yell and want to give up and say I give up, YES, but then pick yourself back up and start fighting again  we are all here for you no matter what decision you make .  Keep fighting your worth it. 

I am not good with words hope this helped,  and didnt hurt in anyway.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: billybags on August 07, 2011, 10:47:18 AM
needlephobic, So what are you telling us, that they could not dialysis you and sent you home because your cath was not working. You are saying that you are so pissed off that you are not going to go back to the unit. So you are going to give up and die, is that right. You have more about you than that, you have got work to do  informing people about how you feel, how it affects you, how scared you are of needles. There must be thousands of people out there in the same position. You must help these people. Don't just give up and die,. Dialysis is not easy but it keeps you alive. Have another think about it.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: looneytunes on August 07, 2011, 02:14:30 PM
NP, I hope you find a way to resolve all this other than stopping dialysis.  It's your body and your decision as to what type of access you have.  Maybe you can talk to your neph or find a different one who will understand. 

Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: jeannea on August 09, 2011, 08:52:26 AM
Can you give us an update what happened, what you decided to do? I respect your decision either way. I'm sure we all consider it at some point. I know I do. But I hope you think it through carefully and maybe have someone to talk to about it. Please let us know how you're doing.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: lmunchkin on August 09, 2011, 08:37:33 PM
I PM him, but no reply yet!  I hope everything is okay!!!!  Praying    :pray;    :grouphug;

lmunchkin   
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: boswife on August 09, 2011, 08:43:54 PM
i did too a couple days ago... no reply :(  also  :pray;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: calypso on August 10, 2011, 12:55:34 AM
Would you still be afraid of needles if they were not sharp? I use blunt needles in my fistula 6 days a week using the buttonhole technique.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 10, 2011, 10:38:55 PM
Well I am still alive and kicking. Thanks for the replies. As far as i can remember I have been afraid of needles. There is no way I can set in that dialysis chair for 3 to 4 hours with  them needles in my arm. I would be pulling them out. Just getting them in would be a chore. I tried meds just made me freeze in terror or colapes in fear. densensation didn't work made me worse. It is hopeless I am to afraid of them nasty needles and just can't do it. PD is out it requires surgery which means IV needles. Chest cath is not working they want me to get another one again requires surgery and a IV. I am such a wimp when it comes to needles. Last time they stuck a IV in me it took over 8 guys to hold me down. I am tired of hearing we will press charges if you hit us. Sorry it is not my fault fight or flight. Got to fight before flight to get out of there. It is so hard for me a D cause there are days they are hooking people up or unhooking them and nowhere to look so I hide under my blanket and shiver in fear.The staff likes to parade them thing s around the center. They have a habit about stopping in front of my chair to talk with a hand full of needles and wave them around when they talk with there hands ((((((shivers)))))). I am at the end of my rope Just don't know what to do. I really don't have nobody to talk to. My Family don't care. Just got moved in my apartment to get away from the verbal and physical abuse from my bro and his girlfriend  :banghead; :banghead;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: okarol on August 10, 2011, 10:48:57 PM
They gave Jenna an oral sedative before they took her to radiology for an IV and chest catheter.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Rerun on August 10, 2011, 11:18:57 PM
I hear you brother!  I hate them too.  I do the nasty lidocane tiny needles and they sting like hell but it is better than the big ones with no lidocane.  I just turn my head and bite my finger (on the other hand).  I could never stick myself.  I do know how you feel.  Maybe Kevino could chime in HE hates needles too.  I pray everytime  JUSUS PLACE THE NEEDLES JESUS PLACE THE NEEDLES JESUS PLACE THE NEEDLES and he has never let me down.

I hate the IV ones too.  It just seems natural to keep breathing so I do it.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Marina on August 10, 2011, 11:40:47 PM
I'm  so  sorry  you're  thinking of  giving up.       
You  just  can't  give up  without  giving the other options  a chance.

I was  diagnosed  with  diabetes  at  13.        I  was  so  scared of  needles.   Luckily  for me  my  older  sister  was  also  a  diabetic  on  insulin,  so  she  gave me  my  shots  for  about  6 months,  until  we  got into  a fight  about  who  knows  what   (that  was  32yrs  ago)  and  she  stopped  giving me  my  shots.
What  do you  think  happened  after  that?          YUP  I  had  to  give up  my  fear of  those  darn  needles  and  do my own shots  at  13.        It  was  one  of the  scariest  things  I had to  endure  at that  age,  but   I didn't  like the  alternative,  so  I  learn  to  give myself  shots.


No tube in my belly refuse to be butchered up for it to fail. No nore caths cause I am Done
At  38  I  went  into  complete  renal  failure  (ESRD)  and  needed  dialysis.    I  opted  for  PD.    I  did   PD  for  6½    yrs  with  great  success.   Only  one  minor  infections  caused by  water  (  I didn't  dry  my  exit site  throughly  before  I  put  a  dressing  on it.

Unfortunately  there's  no  way to  know  nor  predict  who   will have  success  with  either  type  of  dialysis.
But,  it's  worth  a  shot  to  try  either or  both  options. What  have you  got  to  lose.........YOUR  LIFE,  yes  without  dialysis,  sayonara.
So  if you're  a needlephobic,  why  not  talk  to  a PD  nurse  and  see if  PD  is  right  for you.

WE'RE   HERE  FOR YOU!!   :cuddle;

Take  care!!

Marina


Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Sluff on August 11, 2011, 10:20:11 AM
needlephobic I am really sorry you have such a fear of needles and I have no idea what can be done about it. Tell them to press charges if they need to, it won't change anything. People don't understand that its not a criminal thing a true fear is just that a FEAR. WTF?  I will be honest with you that when and if I go on dialysis someday I'm ok but I don't think I could do a transplant, it just creeps me out about switching body parts. maybe I will change my mind when it's my time, I don't know. I do understand your fear however.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Meinuk on August 11, 2011, 11:08:09 AM
Needlephobic, I am so sorry that you are going through this, but you need to be careful.  There is a zero tolerence with regard to violence in any dialysis unit, and if they "Press Charges", they could also immediately discharge you.

This is called an involuntary discharge, and it is a nightmare.  Physical Violence is grounds for an IVD*, and usually there is not a lot you can do if you have committed an act of violence in a dialysis facility.

http://www.network13.org/QI/Facility_Info_Packet/2A13_Involuntary_Discharge_of_Pts.pdf (http://www.network13.org/QI/Facility_Info_Packet/2A13_Involuntary_Discharge_of_Pts.pdf)

I know that you have gone the therapy route before, but now that you have your own home, and it is a safe place, can you try to see if you can try a new therapist, even if it is to talk about how you are feeling?  You've been through a lot.  The needles are part of that, but you also need to address all of the stress that has been building up.

You'll always have someone here who will "listen" to you. But maybe it is time to try a new counselor, and a new point of view.

 :grouphug;

Anna

*
Quote
Abbreviated involuntary discharge procedure: Discharges that occur due to serious threat
or actions where it is deemed necessary to discharge patient without the provision of a 30 day notice. Each
facility should have a procedure for abbreviated involuntary discharge that indicates:
• What behaviors and/or actions will result in an abbreviated discharge (less than 30 days).
• Notification of patient in writing regarding decision to discharge.
• What placement assistance will be provided to the patient by the facility.
• Provision of a listing of hospitals providing acute dialysis care for interim dialysis care until placement
can be arranged.
• Efforts to be made to provide the necessary security at the facility (including those made to provide
ongoing dialysis care while placement efforts are undertaken)
• Notification of the Network prior to discharge (Discharge is not official until written notification of
discharge is provided to patient
).
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Comeback Kid(ney) on August 11, 2011, 11:31:26 AM
I am a PD patient and I understand completely where you are coming from. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of quitting and just say the hell with it all. The thing that snaps me back is that I do not want ever end up in the hospital emergency room ever again. There they have a license to kill you. One thing is you do learn a lot about yourself doing this. I am on my 3rd clinic in 3 years and I knew after the first two, I must leave or they are going to finish me off. Just to show you how serious I am about my vigilance, I am suing the 2nd clinic I was at and do whatever it takes to make sure that the nurse that screwed me up NEVER works in another one of these facilities again. Because of her negligence in general, I now have to dialyze at home for 8 hours again after going down to 6 for about 9 months. I have the best advocate working with me and we have a real bulldog attorney who will be aggressively pursuing justice. So, I understand your plight but PLEASE don't give up because the side effects could be devastating to you.NEVER GIVE UP!!!
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: jeannea on August 11, 2011, 06:17:44 PM
I'm so sorry you've been cursed with this fear. You know it's not rational but there's nothing to do about it. I wish there was a way to put you to sleep without needles so you could get the PD surgery or a new catheter but I don't know it. I personally hate needles and my nurse laughs at me when I whine about my epo shot but I know I'm not as bad off as you are. I wish you had someone to talk to. There must be some low cost counseling services in your area. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 11, 2011, 07:49:21 PM
I'm so sorry you've been cursed with this fear. You know it's not rational but there's nothing to do about it. I wish there was a way to put you to sleep without needles so you could get the PD surgery or a new catheter but I don't know it. I personally hate needles and my nurse laughs at me when I whine about my epo shot but I know I'm not as bad off as you are. I wish you had someone to talk to. There must be some low cost counseling services in your area. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.

I Have searched for over 8 months to find a counselor to help me try and over come this fear. What I found out is nobody is educated about needlephobia. Since learning of my kidney prob and dialysis I have been on my own. Finding my own answers to questions they as in NEH and staff at D wouldn't answer. When I first started in center D I told them of my phobia they just thought I was pulling there leg untill that day that tech waved that needle in my face that got there attention fast and was told if I hit they will press charges. They tried to gang up on me to stick me as in circle me about 8 of them. Former social worker said if she knew about that all hell would have broke loose. Ganging up on a needle phobic is asking for a fight. It was like they wanted me to hit one of them so they could get rid of me. I had no home support they acted like it was nothing to have kidney probs. Now since I am in my own apartment they as in family has not even called me to see how I am doing. When they ask me to be Network 13 PR they as in administrator and neph told me to not tell any new patient about my phobia. They was afraid It might scare a patient so they would not get a fistula. Then they took my PR away because I have not been stuck or used my fistula. There reason was since I have not used mine I couldn't tell others about why we use fistulas. If that is the case why should I listen to the neph or techs nurses they don't have fistulas I don't see them setting in the chairs for 3 to 4 hours getting the life sucked out of them but they can preach about fistulas they don't have because they studied and I don't give me a break. Thanks to this site I know more about dialysis than the staff and that is pretty bad. They hate it when I tell them they are wrong then comes the excuses. As the charge nurse told me she has a license she is smarter than me I need to just set there and let them do there thing like yeah right my body I decide what goes in my body not them. sorry for the rant   
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: kellyt on August 13, 2011, 01:02:28 PM
What about "button holes"?  I know it would take a while for the holes to set, but after that you should be...better?  I'm still praying for you!!!   :cuddle;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: boswife on August 13, 2011, 01:32:15 PM
Are you getting dialysis?  Has anything improved? 
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: jeannea on August 13, 2011, 03:26:58 PM
My only other idea is laughing gas (nitrous oxide) to put you under so you can get a new permacath or a PD cath but it's hard to find a hospital that uses it. I have heard of some maternity wards that use it.

I'm sorry you have no one to help you. Your clinic has totally dropped the ball. I just feel so sad and angry for you that you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 13, 2011, 07:17:15 PM
What about "button holes"?  I know it would take a while for the holes to set, but after that you should be...better?  I'm still praying for you!!!   :cuddle;
Button holes require needles I just can't do it.
Are you getting dialysis?  Has anything improved? 

Trying to get dialysis but since my chest cath is having some probs mostly with speed. They set the machine at 400 the alarm beeps which means timer stops untill somebody gets over there to reset the machine. T.hey stand over me and complain about my cath like I am not even there. They don't know how to encourage someone just complain and whine about it. I think anybody going into the medical feild should take a 8 month or more class on needle phobia. It has been classified as a mental illness about a year ago. So right now I'm screwed.
My only other idea is laughing gas (nitrous oxide) to put you under so you can get a new permacath or a PD cath but it's hard to find a hospital that uses it. I have heard of some maternity wards that use it.

I'm sorry you have no one to help you. Your clinic has totally dropped the ball. I just feel so sad and angry for you that you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.


Laughing gas might do the trick just getting them to pay for the shipment will be like then sticking me. Not sure if the hospital has it or not. Not really sure if I could do dialysis at the hospital.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: boswife on August 13, 2011, 08:03:01 PM
I think because of their non understanding of REAL phobias is what has me so angered.  They are working with needles and should know ALL the ins and outs of them, including there are true phobias and know something, at least how to treat patients!, about how to handle the situation.  I know i always bring up my own issues, but i have things i cant do.  Not just have a hard time doing but CANT and so i understand.  The only thing i wonder is, if my life depended on it, would that change or would i sadly be in your same position.  Im so sorry, sad, upset, discusted and simpithetic to your trials here. 
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Xime_from_Chile on August 14, 2011, 12:57:14 PM
I'm really sorry about your fear and all the problems you are going through. Have you thought about hypnosis?
Take care,

Xime
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 14, 2011, 06:55:31 PM
I think because of their non understanding of REAL phobias is what has me so angered.  They are working with needles and should know ALL the ins and outs of them, including there are true phobias and know something, at least how to treat patients!, about how to handle the situation.  I know i always bring up my own issues, but i have things i cant do.  Not just have a hard time doing but CANT and so i understand.  The only thing i wonder is, if my life depended on it, would that change or would i sadly be in your same position.  Im so sorry, sad, upset, discusted and simpithetic to your trials here. 

As I said before people who go into the medical field should do a 8 week or more study on phobias. As most Needle phobics and including myself at this moment I would rather sick than get stuck with a needle. Harsh words I know.

I'm really sorry about your fear and all the problems you are going through. Have you thought about hypnosis?
Take care,

Xime

Yes thought about it and talked to a Doctor that does it and was told would not work on me I am too strong willed. He said it would not Last long because the phobia will again show its ugly face. He is trying assertive approach don't see how that will help.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: Ang on August 14, 2011, 08:05:16 PM
just curious how you managed to have bloods taken before the cath was inserted :waiting;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 14, 2011, 08:49:09 PM
just curious how you managed to have bloods taken before the cath was inserted :waiting;

They had to get other people to hold me to take blood cause I fight at first could not bring myself to go in to the office for them to take blood put it off untill I got to sick to fight
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: YLGuy on August 14, 2011, 08:57:25 PM
I am sorry but why can't you use oral sedatives?
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: rsudock on August 14, 2011, 10:10:02 PM
Needlephobic I am so worried for you...I don't want this to be the end.....I am thinking about you....I wish there was something I could do...

 :pray;

xo,
R
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: lmunchkin on August 15, 2011, 08:52:48 PM
It must be pure "Hell" that you are going through!  And this is a fear that will effect your living or dying!  What an aweful delimma you are in Needlephobic!  But something has to be done and Im confident you will find a way!  I have a tremendous fear of drowning!  I do go around water, but not particularly fond of it!  It was years before I got the nerve to go into it.  In May 2010 when the floods happened in Middle Tennessee,  I was trembling.  So thankful it did not reach our home, but lives were lost in that flood, and I count my blessings!

keep us posted!

lmunchkin     :kickstart;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: YLGuy on August 15, 2011, 11:09:36 PM
This really has many of us very worried about you.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  I truly hope that they find a way for you to keep having treatments.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 16, 2011, 08:23:20 AM
Well as of today my neph said that there is nothing they could do untill I get another chest cath or let them stick me. I asked for something to knock me out while they stick me They won't they said I need to be awake when they stick me. They won't sign agreement that no charges will be pressed if I fight them. Looks like I am done. They are not going to help me in any way. They just think of themselves not my phobia. Not sure what I am going to do now
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: dawn24 on August 16, 2011, 08:48:57 AM
 :( :( Is there anyway you could be referred to a mental health specialist who could advocate on your behalf?
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: jeannea on August 16, 2011, 09:24:24 AM
I'm so sorry. It's appalling that they won't help you or give you any real options. They're bad physicians.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 16, 2011, 08:47:48 PM
:( :( Is there anyway you could be referred to a mental health specialist who could advocate on your behalf?

Don't have anybody to refer me. They won't they don't want want anybody on there butts.

I'm so sorry. It's appalling that they won't help you or give you any real options. They're bad physicians.
No they won't help me. I told the neph at the beginning about my phobia went in one ear out the other.My neph has never listen to me been at this alone and looks like I'll die alone. My neph don't care my family don't care have no home support what so ever just a lone wolf. Word of warning don't get a neph that is is a partner of the owner of the D center. Because he or she will only listen to the head doc and do what he or she wants the hell with the patients they just want the money. Was told when I was network 13 patients rep to hide the fact I am needle phobic didn't want to scare the new patients sorry not going to lie if asked.They took away my pr just because I have not used my fistula. I belive it is what I wrote about my phobia they didn't like and the trust issues I have with my neph it goes with my phobia. It scared them so take away my pr and make my life hell.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: MooseMom on August 16, 2011, 10:06:52 PM
Well as of today my neph said that there is nothing they could do untill I get another chest cath or let them stick me. I asked for something to knock me out while they stick me They won't they said I need to be awake when they stick me. They won't sign agreement that no charges will be pressed if I fight them. Looks like I am done. They are not going to help me in any way. They just think of themselves not my phobia. Not sure what I am going to do now

Realistically, they can't sedate you everytime they have to stick you...that would play hell with your body!  And if they can't use the cath at the moment, I'm not sure what other option they have.  What is it ideally you want to have happen?  You haven't given yourself any way out of this.  If your neph and the staff were the most wonderful, empathetic, compassionate people on the face of the earth, how would that change your situation?  All of their "understanding" wouldn't rid you of your phobia, and your cath would still not be working.  So again, what is it that you are expecting them to do that they are not already doing?

(This isn't to say that they haven't been unhelpful and could do a better job.  But I am not sure how their change in attitude would really practically help you.  Am I making any sense?)
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: YLGuy on August 17, 2011, 07:55:39 PM
Will they sedate you enough that you can have an IV placed and another Catheter placed?  Ask the front office if there is another neph that services your dialysis center that is not part of the neph group that owns the center.  That is what I did and I lucked out with a great neph.  Is there a different dialysis center in your area that has different nephs that you could switch too?
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 20, 2011, 07:01:48 PM
Well the chest cath worked the last 2 treatments woo hoo but another issue has come up. Last Thursday I was told there was a order for a IV drip. I was told they don't know why it was ordered and who ordered it. Glad somebody informed me of this order I didn't need NOT. Know one told me a thing untill they were getting ready to hook it up and I stopped them. Today they tried the same thing geee got to watch these people like a hawk. And they wonder why I have trust issues. Makes me wonder if they inject people with drugs not knowing  who ordered it? Should be a red flag there people. Its called ask and be sure before you give a person drugs. They have done 3 cultures on my cath came back neg. The tech thinks maybe one of the docs gave the order to the wrong patient and didn't double check and didn't put his john handcock on the order. And we got to trust these people with our lives.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: MooseMom on August 20, 2011, 09:08:29 PM
You're absolutely right...you have to be so aware of anyone who comes at you with a drug in hand!
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: billybags on August 21, 2011, 03:57:50 AM
Sounds like you are sorting things out. Chest cath seems good.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: YLGuy on August 22, 2011, 08:54:09 AM
I needed some good news and this certainly qualifies.  I am so glad that the cath has been working.  :thumbup;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on August 22, 2011, 10:45:30 AM
it is working but not at there speed when they try to go for 400 it bottoms out everytime been running at 200 to 250 and no probs. The tech that has been dealing with me says my cath pulls great just don't understand why it bottom out at 400.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: CebuShan on September 06, 2011, 02:12:50 PM
Hi! Needlephobic! I can totally understand your situation. I, too am terrified of needles coming at me! I can GIVE shots but I sure can't take them! I do have a fistula now but I wouldn't let them stick me until I was ready. (I'll never totally get over it even thought they keep telling me it will get better) This is the worst thing I can think of happening to those of us that can't stand needles.
Any way, glad your cath has been working. Have they tried reversing it? When I had mine, it seemed that halfway through treatment I had to use the bathroom. When I would get hooked up again, it wouldn't run "normal", they had to reverse it. No one ever came up with an explanation of why. They just started automatically hooking me up in reverse after my bathroom break.

Hope things keep going well. Keep us updated. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!   :grouphug;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: boswife on September 06, 2011, 04:13:15 PM
Just today, i was at my friends fathers house, and he was telling me about this 'cancer' that he had removed from his forhead.  He (for some reason) was to be awake but the drug they gave him they said......  "you will  *feel* everything, but you wont care".  He said at the time he thought how could that be.  Well, he couldnt believe it because he felt everything, the cutting, the stitches everything, but ***he didnt care***.  (btw... there was no pain, just could feel it)  Which then reminded me of when i had a tooth worked on and i was sooooooooooooooo fearful and they came in with something in a little shooter thing that i think was green.  They had said the same thing to me... "i wouldnt care"   WOW!!  i had forgotton about that little green cup and i tell ya, I could live like that!!  lol   I truly didnt care about what ever they were comming at me with.  Wonder what it was????
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: okarol on September 06, 2011, 09:33:39 PM
I think it may be Versed:
Versed is a sedative, anxiety, and anesthesia medication that is used as a sedative, anxiety, or anesthesia medication, used before or during surgeries, medical procedures, or dental procedures. This prescription medication works to reduce anxiety, cause sleepiness, relax the muscles, and impair short-term memory by enhancing the effects of a certain brain chemical. Versed comes in the form of an injection or a syrup and is very fast acting.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: CebuShan on September 07, 2011, 07:09:39 AM
I think it may be Versed:
Versed is a sedative, anxiety, and anesthesia medication that is used as a sedative, anxiety, or anesthesia medication, used before or during surgeries, medical procedures, or dental procedures. This prescription medication works to reduce anxiety, cause sleepiness, relax the muscles, and impair short-term memory by enhancing the effects of a certain brain chemical. Versed comes in the form of an injection or a syrup and is very fast acting.

Wow! Where can I get some of that!  ;D  It would be nice to have them stick me and NOT CARE!   :clap;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: cattlekid on September 07, 2011, 07:21:28 AM
Versed is the bomb.  I've had it for colonoscopies, biopsies, cathter placements etc.  It definitely works for me as advertised.  I have no ill effects coming out of the Versed - can't say the same about general anesthesia.



I think it may be Versed:
Versed is a sedative, anxiety, and anesthesia medication that is used as a sedative, anxiety, or anesthesia medication, used before or during surgeries, medical procedures, or dental procedures. This prescription medication works to reduce anxiety, cause sleepiness, relax the muscles, and impair short-term memory by enhancing the effects of a certain brain chemical. Versed comes in the form of an injection or a syrup and is very fast acting.
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on September 07, 2011, 03:41:02 PM
Would like to try it but I don't see my neph agreeing to it
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: CebuShan on September 07, 2011, 04:27:46 PM
Ask!!
Does your GP talk to your neph? Get them to suggest it.
Hang in there!
   :cuddle;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: lmunchkin on September 07, 2011, 04:37:23 PM
I would try it if I were you Needlephobic.  You have got to do something to ease you fears!  I hate this so much for you, what a delimma!

lmunch    :flower;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on September 07, 2011, 06:54:49 PM
My neph is a jerk and really doesn't listen to me. Every thing I suggested like the laughing gas or any kind of med that would knock me out or for a loop nope he said. My neph don't care he is a partner with the doc that owns the d center so he has to do what the owner doc wants. I see no use in even asking him. I don't like him and or trust him.  The owner doc even had the nerve to bill me and he is not my doc and has never done anything for me. So why pay it? And if I ever get over this fear I don't see transplant in my future. Because of the lies they put in my chart. Since starting D I been in the dark. Had to do my own research to find answers. Its like I was reading a thread on EPO  and that stuff was giving me minegrain headaches found out here there is a couple of other meds like EPO. I asked neph if there was any other meds like EPO  he said nope just lied right to my face. I really don't think the like this message board. I wonder if it is because here we find the truth and where I am at hey want to hide it. They don't give us all the lab report just the important parts well isn't it all important? I am at the verge of giving up. I started this thing alone no home support no D center support so I figured I'll die alone. :(
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: lmunchkin on September 07, 2011, 09:10:21 PM
Needlephobic,  I can only imagine your fears, frustrations and the apparent loneliness you feel right now! It's probably an emptiness that is awful beyond imagination.  There are others on this site that goe through alot of things on their own, and honestly, I do not see how they do it! I do what I can for my husband, but we do have each other.

I am in awe of how those of you doing everything Alone, especially with ESRD! I can remember years, not too very long ago, where family took care of their own! It seems like nobody "Cares" anymore or they just don't want to be bothered. 

I wish I had words to make you feel better, but I don't think words will help you to get over this fear that you have!  All I can say is don't give up hope! We need you with us!!!! Don't let these people push you around!

Unless you are at peace with dying, then I would not do it! Just my two  :twocents;

You are in our thoughts, Needlephobic,  :pray;

lmunchkin
 :kickstart;



Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: CebuShan on September 08, 2011, 09:21:03 AM
Is this the only neph you can see? Or the only D center? I cannot imagine having to deal with a dr or clinic that I don't trust! I had 1 neph that I did not like. He had a few "favorites" and the rest of us he treated like we were an inconvenience. I finally had enough. My parting shot to him was that I refuse to be treated by the Pillsbury Dough Boy! Maybe if you could find somebody else, it might help.
 You're in my prayers.   :pray;
Title: Re: I am Done
Post by: needlephobic on September 08, 2011, 05:34:30 PM
Is this the only neph you can see? Or the only D center? I cannot imagine having to deal with a dr or clinic that I don't trust! I had 1 neph that I did not like. He had a few "favorites" and the rest of us he treated like we were an inconvenience. I finally had enough. My parting shot to him was that I refuse to be treated by the Pillsbury Dough Boy! Maybe if you could find somebody else, it might help.
 You're in my prayers.   :pray;
 

 There is another dialysis across town from where I go Davita  been there and was told they will push to do needles well if you push me won't come there. want a independent Neph just can't find one all have partners or need references.