I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Hemodoc on April 05, 2011, 01:40:52 PM
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By Peter Laird, MD
Social networking entered a new sphere of influence when Roxy Kurze, a young wife concerned over her husbands kidney failure sent a plea for a kidney to fall from the sky over the popular Facebook network. Amazingly, in less than an hour Ricky Cisco, essentially a complete stranger with only the briefest of acquaintance a year earlier replied wishing to donate his kidney.
Need a kidney? Michigan man finds one on Facefook
A 35-year-old Michigan man, Jeff Kurze, desperately needed a kidney. So he and his wife decided to use technology and social networking to get one. He posted his need for a kidney on Facebook and found a willing and compassionate donor in the name of Ricky Cisco.
On March 30, 2011, one of Cisco's kidneys was transplanted into Kurze at Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, Michigan. They are both in good condition following the transplant.
The level of care noted in this latest altruistic donation lends the conversation to pronounce altruism alive and healthy in this nation despite many pundits alarming propositions that it is dead and not enough. It seems that nearly every week, an altruistic donor who are often complete strangers stands in the gap of available donors and gives of their own self. Often, this is in conjunction with the newly popular renal transplant chains. The story of finding a renal transplant through Facebook underscores the need for renal donation as well as the simple fact that there are people willing to give the gift of life if they can only become connected. I suspect that this will become a new tool improving renal donation rates.
http://www.hemodoc.com/2011/04/facebook-unites-renal-transplant-patient-with-donor.html
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I just don't know if I could advocate on my own behalf for a kidney. I intensely dislike social media. I don't have a facebook page and I don't tweet. I admire people who will do whatever it takes to get a live donor, but I am very resistant to this, and I am not sure why. I've thought about it a lot; I've thought about joining one of those sites for people who need a new kidney, but it just feels like I would be begging for someone to deem me worthy. Every day that would pass where no one offered to help me...how would that make me feel? Life is hard enough without just asking for more emotional drubbing.
For those of you who have used social media to find a kidney for yourself (ie, not for advocating for a loved one), how did/does it make you feel?
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I see it as making the need known, and if someone wants to learn more about living donation, and they offer to donate, it's a beautiful gift.
I agree, asking is not a good idea. It puts an expectation on someone, and it's just not right.
Living donation is not for everyone.
If your donor finds you, that's great.
If you aren't comfortable telling your story, or accepting offers, that is your right, and no one should make the donor or the recipient feel obligated or pressured.
When Jenna gets closer to needing a kidney, and if she's ok with it, I will tweet, facebook, post her story, and put it all out there.
There are no guarantees that I'd have results, but I will advocate for her to find a new donor.
With a ten year wait now in Los Angeles, waiting for a deceased donor kidney would be tough on Jenna, and we'd do whatever we can to help her.
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Oh, I'd advocate for a loved one in a heartbeat! If my kid was in Jenna's situation, I'd do exactly as you have done/will do...whatever is necessary! No question! But advocating for myself...I don't think I'm comfortable with that, and that's not really smart, I confess. If you don't advocate for yourself, then who will? You can't just wait around for someone else to do it for you. I know that, but it still makes me feel....well...very vulnerable. Talk about setting yourself up for rejection...that's pretty much the ultimate in rejection, you know? What if you put your story out there and no one gives a crap? I am not terribly sure how I would deal with that. But that's pretty much the weenie way out.
But I like what you've said, okarol. Maybe I should reframe the question. Maybe I shouldn't look at is as "asking for a kidney", but, rather, I should view it as "making a need known." Hm....yes. Actually, I have done that. In passing conversation when it has been appropriate, I've mentioned that I am on the waiting list and isn't it amazing what those smart doctors can do these days! They can remove kidneys laproscopically! Wow!! :rofl;
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I often tell people just that - get someone to help advocate for you! There may be someone who tried to donate but was excluded, but they still can help. They can share your story.
I once heard a story about Hockey player Wayne Gretzky and an answer he gave to the question about how many goals he had been able to achieve. His answer: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
So true.
But, MM, I agree it would be hard to "sell yourself" as worthwhile. When Jenna first met her donor she said she felt like she was on an audition, and she was worried she wouldn't measure up.
And there's also the risk of pitfalls and disappointments of putting yourself out there. If you remember our story that was in the newspaper, it was a roller coaster of emotions. http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=2167.0