I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Pre-Dialysis => Topic started by: brandywine on October 29, 2010, 07:48:52 AM

Title: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: brandywine on October 29, 2010, 07:48:52 AM
Made my first appointment with the transplant doctor. The receptionist told me that I had to bring my caregiver. Um. I will be caring for myself. I was very uncomfortable with that word. It made me feel like an invalid. :rant;
Is it just me???
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: okarol on October 29, 2010, 08:35:25 AM
They like to see that you have a support system so you will have help during the recovery period following the transplant surgery. It does seem odd that they would call it a caregiver though. Try not to let things like that get you down, you'll often encounter people who don't think about how it makes you feel.
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: MooseMom on October 29, 2010, 10:23:58 AM
I hate that term, too.  I had to bring my husband along to show I had a support system, and it made me sorta mad because up to now, I've done everything myself...I keep up with making all of my appointments, I organize all of my meds (and that's a bureaucratic nightmare), I do all the research, etc.  He's told me that he will train for NxStage with me, but I don't foresee him doing anything but sitting with me while I dialyze.  It's not that he can't or won't do these things for me, but it would never occur to me to expect him to do so.  I am my caregiver.
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: brandywine on October 30, 2010, 08:07:02 AM
I guess I also have to face the fact that I will get worse, and at some point will probably have to have the help of someone else. I think I'm in denial about that. The last three days, I've been more exhausted than ever. Sleeping more than usual. Even if the care isn't for me and my treatment, I still need someone to pick up the pieces that I let fall because of time or energy. Things like some of the cooking and cleaning. Sooooo...all that said. Rant over. I still don't like the term, but I won't get into a tizzy every time I hear it. 
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: boswife on October 30, 2010, 08:27:23 AM
I'll put another 'spin' on the word  ;)  For me, beings i AM the "caregiver" i feel an honor about it.  I am my hubbys partner in it all for sure, but because i do it with *care* i hear this as a good word..   Just a thought.  Its just someone giving you some well deserved care, which we all deserve  :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: carol1987 on October 30, 2010, 04:48:54 PM
thank you boswife!  I also have been having a hard time  thinking about having to have a caregiver...... the way you think of it made me smile....
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: okarol on October 30, 2010, 08:34:18 PM
 :2thumbsup;
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: del on October 31, 2010, 05:28:20 AM
I am my hubby's partner not his "caregiver"!!!  He is quite able to take care of himself!! 
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: Poppylicious on November 02, 2010, 10:39:14 AM
I am my hubby's partner not his "caregiver"!!!  He is quite able to take care of himself!!
Amen!

I don't like the term 'caregiver'.  I am not my Blokey's caregiver; I just happen to be married to a man who needs me to do a bit more for him than a husband who doesn't suffer with lack of renal function.

Besides, he's always been a lazy arse so I'm not sure that too much changed after he went on dialysis.

 ;D
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: Darthvadar on November 02, 2010, 10:46:15 AM
My mum needs assistance with lots of things, and so needs care... I'm not too keen on the 'Caregiver' title... Implies that it's a one way street, and that the person needing assistance is taking..... I prefer the term 'Carer'... As someone else said, I'm doing what I do because I care...

Mind you, as I'm a wheelchair user, the fact that I am a carer raises a few eyebrows.... Oh well... What's in a name!!!!!...

Love to all...

Darth...
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: Deanne on November 02, 2010, 12:34:51 PM
What happens if you don't have a "caregiver?" I'm single / live alone in Oregon and my family is in Minnesota. I'm hovering around 20% function and my neph will likely refer me to start the transplant work-up process within the next few months.
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: YLGuy on November 02, 2010, 03:45:55 PM
I had people from my church, people from Pop Warner and people from the YMCA parent/child program come.  I do not have any family out here (except my beautiful children) and I filled a room with support people.  Look outside of the "normal" and ask.  I sent 1 email asking and was overwhelmed by the response once word got out I needed support people.
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: cariad on November 02, 2010, 04:59:04 PM
What happens if you don't have a "caregiver?" I'm single / live alone in Oregon and my family is in Minnesota. I'm hovering around 20% function and my neph will likely refer me to start the transplant work-up process within the next few months.

I never brought a caregiver. I did not think I needed one and no one ever said anything. Not every hospital demands this, although you will need to be able to answer questions about your plans should the call come in. Who will help you after transplant? I did not give much thought to this, and wow did we ever need to rely upon our support person. He was awesome and completely rose to the challenge. I got it in my head that I would be all fixed up by the time they discharged me on the Monday after my Thursday operation. It took me nearly a month to stop dreading having to get out of bed in the mornings. Probably won't happen to you, but you need to prep for the worst and be able to confidently tell them that you can handle whatever comes.
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: Stoday on November 02, 2010, 05:26:06 PM
Nurses look out for anyone who they can treat as a caregiver.

My mate came to fetch me from hospital after I'd had an endoscopic examination of my colon. The nurse explained to my mate how he should look after me!  :o  :rofl;
Title: Re: Hate the term "caregiver"
Post by: Deanne on November 03, 2010, 12:04:22 PM
Whew! That's a relief. I have friends and neighbors who will help me, and I have long-term care insurance.