I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Off-Topic => Site Requests, Comments, Technical Help. => Topic started by: Lucinda on February 16, 2010, 11:31:43 PM

Title: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Lucinda on February 16, 2010, 11:31:43 PM
I am going say this because it doesn't matter if I get banned because I don't come into the forum anymore anyhow.  I am absolutely astounded that the first post I read after not being here for some time was so out of control.  The admin team on this site do an extraordinary job and if it wasn't for them there would be no site at all.  Bill would be disgusted with some of the behaviour here.

For the record I left this site because of the absolutely disgusting PM sent to me by dwcrawford.  For him to be so obviously agrieved by the harmless PM, which by the way should never have been repeated on an open forum, is the height of hiprocracy.  He may be depressed at the moment but I was in a very bad place when he sent me a PM that was extremely degrading and spitful.

There are some terrific people on this site and Karol and Kit are at the top of the list as far as I am concerned.  Everyone on this site is battling with this disease and some cope with it better than others.  When I was in a bad place I was bullied by the very person who now expects sympathy for his woes.  Kit's PM was harmless.....get over it.


EDITED: Moved to proper section: Site Requests, Comments, Technical Help - okarol/admin
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: tyefly on February 16, 2010, 11:48:51 PM
I realize that there are two sides to each story.....   But I will have to agree with Lucinda on this noe....  the thread did get out of control by all parties.....  I would hope that we could do better than that.....  REally this is just a public forum......and people need to resect each other and not go there......  its a bad practice.....  The Admin had to take place.... and needs to be respected.  We might not always agree but we should be able to live with one another on here..... 

Here's to better and brighter Day here on IHD.....
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Hanify on February 17, 2010, 01:00:08 AM
I would like to comment but I am afraid that in doing so I would somehow criticise a moderator and get banned.  I have not recently been in a place with adults where we are not 'allowed' to disagree with those in higher positions.  Lucinda, I am sorry your feelings were hurt by Dan - but this should not mean that I end up feeling that I am unable to speak my mind.  I love IHD and have many many good friends here but I WILL NOT sit back and say nothing when I think an injustice has been done.  I will agree to disagree - sure - but I won't say nothing. 
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: petey on February 17, 2010, 05:50:03 AM
I would like to comment but I am afraid that in doing so I would somehow criticise a moderator and get banned.  I have not recently been in a place with adults where we are not 'allowed' to disagree with those in higher positions.  Lucinda, I am sorry your feelings were hurt by Dan - but this should not mean that I end up feeling that I am unable to speak my mind.  I love IHD and have many many good friends here but I WILL NOT sit back and say nothing when I think an injustice has been done.  I will agree to disagree - sure - but I won't say nothing. 

I'm with Hanify 100%.  I "ditto" everything she said above.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: okarol on February 17, 2010, 08:43:00 AM
I would like to comment but I am afraid that in doing so I would somehow criticise a moderator and get banned.  I have not recently been in a place with adults where we are not 'allowed' to disagree with those in higher positions.  Lucinda, I am sorry your feelings were hurt by Dan - but this should not mean that I end up feeling that I am unable to speak my mind.  I love IHD and have many many good friends here but I WILL NOT sit back and say nothing when I think an injustice has been done.  I will agree to disagree - sure - but I won't say nothing. 

I'm with Hanify 100%.  I "ditto" everything she said above.

Hanify and petey,
There are many instances that have taken place behind the scenes that go beyond a member just disagreeing. It is harassment. It's not merely that members "are not 'allowed' to disagree with those in higher positions" but it is a pattern of disrespect and attacks. The admin makes decision based on many things, and choosing not to publicly air this person's dirty laundry is our choice. If you don't have faith in our decisions you are welcome to find another support forum where you feel more connected.

okarol/admin
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: petey on February 17, 2010, 10:30:51 AM
Karol,
Thank you for the offer for me to go somewhere else; that has been mentioned to me before (is that a nice way of saying you don't want me at IHD anymore?).  And, I'm sure you're right -- Dan undoubtedly was banned because he had a pattern of harassment, disrespect, and attacks on the mods/admins, just as I'm sure I did when I was banned in October.  What can I say? We're just naughty children, I guess, and I do appreciate all you and the others do to keep us in line.

Do you think it would help if you posted a list of all the offenses that could get a member banned?  (I'm sure it's posted on the site somewhere, but a "refresher" wouldn't hurt, now would it?) That way, we would all be reminded of how we are supposed to behave and have no excuses (because we had been told again) when we are banned.  Just a thought.


(P.S. There is no disrespect intended here, and I hope I don't get banned because of this post.)
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: glitter on February 17, 2010, 11:22:23 AM
I think.... (not singleing out a soul) as long as this is even a subject- it weakens the effectiveness of this site.

why would anyone want to do that?

 and for those of you who 'feel the need to stand up for injustice' this isn't a democracy- its a kingdom- and that is EXACTLY how Epoman wanted it. and yes- I knew him too. His way- his rules- trust who he trusted to carry it on. period.


Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: KICKSTART on February 17, 2010, 12:11:07 PM
SIGH ....one thread has been locked because of all this , come on guys , let it go. Its spoiling the atmosphere on the forum !
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Hanify on February 17, 2010, 12:30:11 PM
SIGH ....one thread has been locked because of all this , come on guys , let it go. Its spoiling the atmosphere on the forum !

So true Kickstart - it really does.  I've decided it comes down to this for me - I think I just don't believe banning is the right way to go...ever!  I feel the same way about suspending children from school - I believe the issues should be worked through with the person and that banning (or suspending or expelling in the school environment) is inappropraite and has the opposite effect to what is intended.

So anyway, as has been pointed out, it's not my site, and not my rules, so I either like it or lump it.  I would have liked to have thought that maybe the moderators and admins would think about whether or not the 'rules' are actually appropriate anymore though,  Just because that's how Epoman set it up - does it have to continue?  What if more people on here were not happy about it?  Are you happy for people to just leave over and over and over?
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Joe Paul on February 17, 2010, 03:15:23 PM

I believe Epoman chose the Admins he did, to keep this site as he set it up, RULES and all. Like Karol said, if some people are un happy with the way this site has been since day 1, there are other forums to visit, or better yet, you can start a site, and rule it the way you'd see fit. Please don't take offense to what Ive said, this is only my point of view.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Rerun on February 17, 2010, 03:31:59 PM
I feel the same way about suspending children from school - I believe the issues should be worked through with the person and that banning (or suspending or expelling in the school environment) is inappropraite and has the opposite effect to what is intended.

So anyway, as has been pointed out, it's not my site, and not my rules, so I either like it or lump it.  I would have liked to have thought that maybe the moderators and admins would think about whether or not the 'rules' are actually appropriate anymore though,  Just because that's how Epoman set it up - does it have to continue?  What if more people on here were not happy about it?  Are you happy for people to just leave over and over and over?

See how ya are?  It is just never enough!  Maybe we should play survivor and vote people off the site! 

In Epoman's memory I'd ban you if I could.  But, I don't have the power
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Malibu on February 17, 2010, 04:26:54 PM
I'll throw my two cents in:  The moderators are sometimes rude.  I don't have any idea what any of the above posts are about and I didn't see what the subject of this post is about but perhaps this rudeness is part of the problem.    I know I have been victim to a moderators rudeness.   You know who you are.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Rerun on February 17, 2010, 04:31:01 PM
Rude is commenting without reading the entire thread.  How can you comment when you don't know what you are even talking about. 
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: willowtreewren on February 17, 2010, 04:41:56 PM
Malibu,
I understand what you were saying. Reading the entire thread would not have given you any information about what started this conversation.

Having been in a professional position for almost all of my adult life, I have learned that when in a position of authority (such as being a moderator), it is of utmost importance to maintain professionalism as part of that position.

While everyone has issues from time to time, rude behavior on the part of a moderator does not lend itself to a sense of professionalism in regard to the site.

Aleta
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Rerun on February 17, 2010, 04:53:17 PM
I was a "Professional" for 20 years and know how to act when I'm being paid to take crap from people.

I ain't getting paid!       :sir ken;
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: petey on February 17, 2010, 05:14:15 PM

See how ya are?  It is just never enough!  Maybe we should play survivor and vote people off the site! 

Be careful what you wish for, Rerun!  You might be the first one voted off if we did that!   :-*
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: kitkatz on February 17, 2010, 05:22:11 PM
I am going say this because it doesn't matter if I get banned because I don't come into the forum anymore anyhow.  I am absolutely astounded that the first post I read after not being here for some time was so out of control.  The admin team on this site do an extraordinary job and if it wasn't for them there would be no site at all.  Bill would be disgusted with some of the behaviour here.

For the record I left this site because of the absolutely disgusting PM sent to me by dwcrawford.  For him to be so obviously agrieved by the harmless PM, which by the way should never have been repeated on an open forum, is the height of hiprocracy.  He may be depressed at the moment but I was in a very bad place when he sent me a PM that was extremely degrading and spitful.

There are some terrific people on this site and Karol and Kit are at the top of the list as far as I am concerned.  Everyone on this site is battling with this disease and some cope with it better than others.  When I was in a bad place I was bullied by the very person who now expects sympathy for his woes.  Kit's PM was harmless.....get over it.


Thank you for your support Lucinda.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Rerun on February 17, 2010, 06:16:31 PM

See how ya are?  It is just never enough!  Maybe we should play survivor and vote people off the site! 

Be careful what you wish for, Rerun!  You might be the first one voted off if we did that!   :-*

Bring it on Pete.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: petey on February 17, 2010, 06:30:43 PM

See how ya are?  It is just never enough!  Maybe we should play survivor and vote people off the site! 

Be careful what you wish for, Rerun!  You might be the first one voted off if we did that!   :-*

Bring it on Pete.


 :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;  :rofl;   :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;  :rofl;   :rofl;  :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;  :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;   :rofl;
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Rerun on February 17, 2010, 06:49:43 PM
                             :rofl;
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbNyeyzHkrA

Sorry, we are not supposed to use links, but this is funny.   :rofl;

Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Jenabcd on February 18, 2010, 03:10:52 AM
Everybody, whether right or wrong, needs someone who "has our back".  I'm sure that Dan is appreciative and thanks you for that.  Are you saying though, that because he was having a bad day,  the rudeness and disrespect should be overlooked?  How many people are at this site? Whether we are the caregiver or the patient, (my husbands life is affected as much as mine), I'm assuming that the majority of us have had and/or do have bad days.  If one of us is allowed to be disrespectful, that should give every one of us that right, correct?  Then what happens here?  It seemed that kitkatz and Okarol were being kind in their posts, telling him that his posts help others, so please don't delete them, because it also makes it so that the thread isn't understood of some of the posts are deleted.  Okarol said that she had a friend who suffers depression and knows that it's difficult...all kind words.  Dan decided to bring a private message (with no harsh words in it) to the public, and complain about it.  That was disrespectful, and obviously other things were said that we don't know about.  Yes, it IS like school and getting in trouble.  If we are brought up right, we learn as children, that what mom & dad say, is what goes.  If not, there are consequences. We learn that as children, because we need to know that as an adult...  from school (elementary thru advanced education), to our work world, be it a big company or a small business; there is a chain of command. If not, things go haywire.  The mods here seem to have a thankless and payless job, and I believe that they do their best.  If one person is allowed to be disrespectful (behind the scenes or out here in public) that gives all of us that right, and it will never work.    (Sorry for the length here)
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Maxridex on February 18, 2010, 04:41:31 AM
I was a "Professional" for 20 years and know how to act when I'm being paid to take crap from people.

I ain't getting paid!       :sir ken;

Seriously what is that attidude? Being a moderator doesn't mean godlike using silly symbols, certainly not a 48 year old woman would do. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm sorry do we even care about your professional ? If you care about money I suggest you should go to other forum that people would pay you, for acting in that attidude. If they pay you, well congraz to them. We lose one highly experienced woman but we gain respect from every member.

P.s This is my own opinion with regards to that post only.

Anyone agree to evaluate the current moderators? We are people and rules are made by human. Repect is for people to gain or lose like credits.

I suggest a ban/warn system plus making rules, that people commited it gets warn then ban.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Malibu on February 18, 2010, 09:46:04 AM
Rerun, there you go again being rude.  It shows friend......that you were the one since you obviously knew it was you I was talking about.

I DID read the entire thread before I posted, it DOES NOT SAY WHAT YOU ALL ARE TALKING ABOUT.  Did YOU read it? Two finger solute.  My Friend.  I think I've dealt with your kind of Professionalism too much in my life and I am sick and tired of you being rude.  Mean people suck.  And life is too short for me to deal with your kind.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: del on February 18, 2010, 11:41:52 AM
I have tried to stayed out of this thread but I have to give my  :twocents;  I think all this has gone a little too far with people included a moderator saying rude things to other members. We all have our bad days and say things we are sorry for after. Whether or not we are being paid we still need to act responsibly and not be rude to other people.  All people need to be treated with respect and ALL people need to follow the rules and not be rude to others.  Just my  :twocents;
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: hurlock1 on February 18, 2010, 12:21:18 PM
Like it or not, there has to be some sort of moderation. People are both adults and children at any given time. Moderators that have "opinions" are almost useless. I found that moderators, in general, are just people like anyone. Whoever gives them the job of being "moderators" is a person. The truth is, everybody has to put their pants on one leg at a time. (except me, I've devised a way to put my pants on both legs at the same time) Being a moderator may be the only important thing a person can do. It could be their entire persona.
I have quit coming to IHD as much, because of certain moderators. I don't have to say who. I don't like being controlled by rude people. I don't have to be rude to get my point across.
I think that the rudest thing is to have moderators move topics to the back burner (Some place else) because they (he, she, it) just don't like the content of the post. For instance This Topic.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: okarol on February 18, 2010, 12:33:05 PM

I think that the rudest thing is to have moderators move topics to the back burner (Some place else) because they (he, she, it) just don't like the content of the post. For instance This Topic.

You're right, mods/admins are human, just like anyone else. And I know we all don't have personalities that mesh with every person on the forum. Some use humor and sarcasm, some are warm and considerate and others have limited time to give - but we do the best we can. I always try to remember that chronically ill patients might have have bad days and that affects their mood. A long time ago Goofynina explained that to me and I have tried to be more understanding of all the different personalities here on IHD.

Hurlock - I know you have trouble with finding things on the forum, but it is just not true. We don't remove your threads. None of them have been archived. We only move threads to the proper area to keep the forum organized and readable. But no amount of explanation seems to alter your perception and I don't know what else to do.

okarol/admin
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: hurlock1 on February 18, 2010, 01:12:54 PM

You're right, mods/admins are human, just like anyone else. And I know we all don't have personalities that mesh with every person on the forum. Some use humor and sarcasm, some are warm and considerate and others have limited time to give - but we do the best we can. I always try to remember that chronically ill patients might have have bad days and that affects their mood. A long time ago Goofynina explained that to me and I have tried to be more understanding of all the different personalities here on IHD.

Hurlock - I know you have trouble with finding things on the forum, but it is just not true. We don't remove your threads. None of them have been archived. We only move threads to the proper area to keep the forum organized and readable. But no amount of explanation seems to alter your perception and I don't know what else to do.

okarol/admin
okarol.
As often as not, I have trouble finding my own. . . 
I generally come to Dialysis: General Discussion; previously believing that "Dialysis: General Discussion" was General Discussion. I found that it wasn't. From what I understand, it's general discussion about dialysis. It seems to me that THIS TOPIC isn't about dialysis. I'm not complaining. Often, these things need to be brought into the forefront. I can't help but wonder if I had instigated this topic if it would have been moved somewhere else. Like I said, everybody has their human side. We can't be adults all the time.
There is a good chance that I will not instigate any new topics because I'd hate to be "off topic" and have my post be moved and have my feelings hurt after seeing THIS TOPIC not be moved because it's off topic. I already have the paranoia of feeling alone or not "a part of", even in a crowd. Apparantly, It has something to do with WHO is doing the posting as to whether a subjective post gets moved or not.
jmz
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: okarol on February 18, 2010, 01:47:04 PM

You're right, this thread belongs in Site Requests, Comments, Technical Help and would have been moved by a moderator at some point, we do them as we have time. I will move it now.

You are wrong about WHO is posting, it doesn't matter. Only the topic.

okarol/admin
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Sluff on February 18, 2010, 04:02:54 PM
Whoa!!

Just who thinks who is running this site?  With Karol's help I make the decisions as to what goes on here at IHD. I am the closest anyone is going to get to owning this site and I have the right (like it or not) to decide. Epoman and I had a close bond and if anyone knows what he would have wanted for the future here at IHD I do.

With that said there is a shakedown happenning right now here at IHD. I have decided that this site is not worth all the crap that Karol and the Moderators are going through to keep it running.

If you truly want this site to continue than we need your support! No more gang up wars like the hood. I am starting with two bans today. With the promise of more to come.

The outcome is up to the members. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE AT IHD THEN LEAVE NOW!! Because if the bickering keeps going, you will be banned anyway. If you have a legitimate gripe feel free to email me and I will listen and make a decision. But the decision will be final. Like it or not. Yes I may change my mind if your ideas bring new views to the table. But then we have to live with the decisions I make with no coming back to public forum and trying to sway public opinion.  This is a privately owned site and will remain that way for those who need it.

Lets get back to helping those who need IHD and lets have fun doing it.

Sluff/Admin
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Wattle on February 18, 2010, 07:52:21 PM

There are some terrific people on this site and Karol and Kit are at the top of the list as far as I am concerned.  Everyone on this site is battling with this disease and some cope with it better than others.


I found this site just after starting dialysis. Being a home based patient it was my life line to others going through the same troubles. Everyone does cope with this disease differently. I have certainly had my ups and downs! But with all friendships, respect of others feelings and situations should be considered when writing posts. You walk a fine line when you choose to make it personal.

Karol, Kit and all the moderators are dealing with their own issues and still coming here to make sure the site is running smoothly.
Give them a break! I have had nothing but SUPPORT from IHD. Epo would have steam coming out of his ears!




Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: RichardMEL on February 18, 2010, 08:08:40 PM
I've really tried to keep away from this whole issue.

I'm not going to comment on the issues with the members who have been banned - as has been said a number of times by the mods that there's stuff that has happened behind the scenes, in PM's and whatever, that we don't know about. I refuse to believe that anyone would be so petty to ban someone for what we've seen in public posts so clearly more has gone on - I don't know, so I'm not going to comment. When you don't have all the facts of a situation it's easy to take a view that might be totally different if other things were known.

What I will say about moderation is that if there was NO moderation by the admin guys than this forum would totally suck - think full of spam, abuse, people shooting off about anything and it would be disorganised as well. It would not work nearly as well as it does now. Yep, the admin team are human, they have good and bad days, but they do their best. In general things run pretty well and these folks get nothing for their time and efforts apart from some complaining about this or that. I prefer to use the site, put my two cents in where I think I can, and quietly thank those who keep it running for me and others to use.

I am sorry that we can't all get along - that's society - people come and go. Some people go through crap, and need timeouts, others are better. That's the way it is. I personally wish people didn't need to be banned or anything like that, but I respect that the admin team have good reasons for doing it.

Let's try and remember what we're all here for - to support eachother. Who needs extra heartache? Not me, not you and certainly not the mods who have their own stuff to deal with on top of whatever goes on here.

I'm sorry some folks have gone - either by choice or otherwise... but there are still good people here. For as long as I am I want to contribute in a positive way.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: galvo on February 19, 2010, 03:52:53 AM
Well said, Richard!!!!!
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: fc2821 on February 19, 2010, 10:00:02 AM
    This whole mess makes me sad.  I don't like to see my friends fighting and being rude to one another.  I just came back after a few days absense and found this.  I'm going to stay away a while longer, hopefully people will mature and quit fighting.
      This is a great site, it has been a big help to me and I like everyone here.  It was created, I believe only been here a few months, to help people.  Share info, support one another, and let us talk about things that interest us to help us get through dialysis and its related issues togther.   That's why I "joined" and kept coming back every day. 
       Right now, there is no joy in coming here to IHD.  Too much negativity from all sides.  I have a lot of friends here, and I am going to miss them but I can't stay where people fuss and fight when they should be helping each other.   
         If that gets me banned, ok.  But I will not be back, if I can, for a while.
         Please everyone just stop being hateful to one another.   
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: okarol on February 19, 2010, 10:32:43 AM

It's like family. Not everyone gets along all the time. Sorry you don't have faith that we'll get through this. Good luck.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Jean on February 19, 2010, 12:27:31 PM
Rob, just remember. This too shall pass. Time will take care of this, so just keep coming back and talking to your firends, of which I hope I am one. We would miss your wit and humor if you left, so please dont.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: fc2821 on February 19, 2010, 01:07:22 PM
     Jean you are my friend, and I am glad you count me as yours.   Seems both you and okarol have goten the wrong impression.  I said I would go away for a while, not that I was leaving.   After thinking about it, I might not be going away for a little while, either.  Several people like you Jean, have contacted me and urged me to not  do so.    Right now is when we need to  support the  people who come here for info and support.   You can't do that by stayng away. 
       Okarol, I have faith in the site and waht it stands for.   People on the other hand are proven to be unreliable.   In such cases, you have to ignor that and press on doing what is right.   
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: kellyt on February 19, 2010, 03:17:13 PM
I don't want you to go, either!   :cuddle;  I hate to see anyone leave, unless they are truly unhappy here.  All support group sites have issues with posters/people, and the good sites, the ones with moderators who care, get the same treatment.  It isn't tolerated anywhere -  that I've encountered anyway.

As for Dan, when he first joined I felt I truly understood his personality and humor, but as he settled in and got comfortable his humor changed a bit.  Now, if you are one of his diehard friends, and rightly so he has many, then you may not have noticed this change as others have.  Yes, he was funny at times and he was thoughtful at times, but I read more posts from him that I felt were just strange and I stopped responding and reading, his posts all together, which is exactly what anyone should do should you find someone on this site that you don't wish to hear from.  Don't open their posts, don't respond and just move along...respectfully.

Now, as for Sluff's post, I have only known him since the end of 2007 and I was lucky enough to meet him in late 2008, and if you DO email him with gripes, complains, back pats or WHATEVER, rest assure he will NOT post your PM in the public forum.

Love to everyone.  I hope no one leaves, as I have learned something from everyone who has posted on this thread!  We are all important to the survival of IHD.  All of us.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: hurlock1 on February 19, 2010, 04:22:25 PM
Whoa!!

Just who thinks who is running this site?  With Karol's help I make the decisions as to what goes on here at IHD. I am the closest anyone is going to get to owning this site and I have the right (like it or not) to decide. Epoman and I had a close bond and if anyone knows what he would have wanted for the future here at IHD I do.

With that said there is a shakedown happenning right now here at IHD. I have decided that this site is not worth all the crap that Karol and the Moderators are going through to keep it running.

If you truly want this site to continue than we need your support! No more gang up wars like the hood. I am starting with two bans today. With the promise of more to come.

The outcome is up to the members. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE AT IHD THEN LEAVE NOW!! Because if the bickering keeps going, you will be banned anyway. If you have a legitimate gripe feel free to email me and I will listen and make a decision. But the decision will be final. Like it or not. Yes I may change my mind if your ideas bring new views to the table. But then we have to live with the decisions I make with no coming back to public forum and trying to sway public opinion.  This is a privately owned site and will remain that way for those who need it.

Lets get back to helping those who need IHD and lets have fun doing it.

Sluff/Admin

Sluff,
I didn't actually realize that anyone was "running the show". It's kind of like "America! Love it or leave it". So, this, being Your SHOW, there is no sense in trying to make it better, or more fair. I can't complain about Rerun who has been blatantly rude to me several times for fear of getting "banned" I could get "banned" for this letter. "Like it the way it is! This is my site!" This IS a good resource for dialysis patients. In the beginning I really thought that this forum was what it claimed itself to be. Guess I was wrong. . .Never mind
jmz
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: hurlock1 on February 19, 2010, 04:41:01 PM
I was a "Professional" for 20 years and know how to act when I'm being paid to take crap from people.

I ain't getting paid!       :sir ken;

Seriously what is that attidude? Being a moderator doesn't mean godlike using silly symbols, certainly not a 48 year old woman would do. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm sorry do we even care about your professional ? If you care about money I suggest you should go to other forum that people would pay you, for acting in that attidude. If they pay you, well congraz to them. We lose one highly experienced woman but we gain respect from every member.

P.s This is my own opinion with regards to that post only.

Anyone agree to evaluate the current moderators? We are people and rules are made by human. Repect is for people to gain or lose like credits.

I suggest a ban/warn system plus making rules, that people commited it gets warn then ban.
We don't get to evaluate the moderators. "This ain't no party, this ain't no disco" This is their site. If you don't agree you will get banned, or you can just go on down the road. It's plain in the "Whoa" post by Sluff, the owner of the site. Sometimes people with a legitimate complaint can get banned just because they didn't agree with the way that they have been being treated and politely said so. I expect to get banned and I just want to be treated with the same courtesy and respect as anyone else.
For the most part, the administrators are reasonable, but don't cross their ways. It may be that IHD is all that occurs in their life and they are holding on to it with a strong grip.
jmz
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: okarol on February 19, 2010, 04:52:03 PM

James,
Are you volunteering to be a moderator?
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Ladystardust24 on February 19, 2010, 05:53:59 PM
I have tried to stayed out of this thread but I have to give my  :twocents;  I think all this has gone a little too far with people included a moderator saying rude things to other members. We all have our bad days and say things we are sorry for after. Whether or not we are being paid we still need to act responsibly and not be rude to other people.  All people need to be treated with respect and ALL people need to follow the rules and not be rude to others.  Just my  :twocents;

Well I'm relatively new to IHD, And I think I've met many very nice and kind people.. But somehow got sucked into all this odd drama. I personally highly dislike drama. I very much agree with Del here. This is a forum of supporting one another,And right now we aren't doing a great job. We don't always have to agree with another person, we don't even have to like someone. But we do have our illness in common. We have similar issues to deal with. I agree that maybe Mr.Dan's post would have been helpful to someone else.. But it was his words to delete, and I do agree, if moderators want to be able to control what gets deleted and what does not...then why not just remove the delete option. I think it's important that many people were hurt all around with all this stuff, I think maybe this won't be something they can get over. I also truly people in people being able to express their opinion freely without the fear of being "banned". I believe unless someone really harassed someone else, they should not be "Banned" for just disagreeing or having opinions other than a moderators. Why can't we respect everyone's personal opinion? I think we need to support each other not hurt each other. I know some people might think that thats just "too simple" and "unreal", well I know what I was taught. "agree to disagree" Lets agree that even though we all have kidney disease, we are still different people, with different personalities. So why not share what we personally have to offer. This whole thing has gotten out of hand. I really hope people just learn to get along. Lets hope that people will get over all this stuff, and just go back to enjoying different peoples view and opinions. I know personally, I wish to get along with many of you, and hope to get to know people and maybe even become friends? Who knows?!  :cuddle;

Happy friday all.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: okarol on February 19, 2010, 06:11:06 PM

The ban was not for one thing. It was for many reasons and we are not going to air member's dirty laundry here. And it was NOT just for expressing themselves. On our front page it says: "Epoman started ihatedialysis.com to stop having his posts censored or deleted by corporate run or sponsored dialysis sites. He created the site so others could have a voice on the internet free from censorship." We hold this ideal in high esteem.
Some decisions are tough to make especially when it comes to banning someone. In the last 3 years there have only been 4 people banned, 2 of which were temporarily banned, allowed to come back, but continued to break the rules, of which we have very few.
Most member's I have heard from have been very supportive, and I appreciate the support. Thank you.

okarol/admin
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: willowtreewren on February 19, 2010, 07:50:11 PM
Quote
In the last 3 years there have only been 4 people banned, 2 of which were temporarily banned, allowed to come back, but continued to break the rules, of which we have very few.

My count is slightly different: Angie, Sandman, Shay, Lightlizard, The Wife, Dan and Petey.

If you are counting Dan as one who was allowed to come back and continued to break the rules, he was banned for life during his 2 week ban so he was not allowed to come back and continued to break the rules. To be sure, though, I don't know if he is part of that count as no names were named. 
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: paris on February 19, 2010, 08:54:53 PM
Quote
In the last 3 years there have only been 4 people banned, 2 of which were temporarily banned, allowed to come back, but continued to break the rules, of which we have very few.

My count is slightly different: Angie, Sandman, Shay, Lightlizard, The Wife, Dan and Petey. 

That would make the percentage of members banned 0.15.  Not 15%---not even 1% -- just a little more than .1%.   Very low number.   Members are valued and not tossed out randomly.  Much thought is given to every situation.  I think most members are happy with the site and how it is run.  My son owns an autocross forum. He pays the host company, he runs the site, he sets the rules.  If people don't like the rules, he has every right to ask them to leave.      Now is the time to move forward and get back to helping one another.     Thanks to all who have posted or sent pm's of support.  It is greatly appreciated.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: okarol on February 19, 2010, 09:51:00 PM
Quote
In the last 3 years there have only been 4 people banned, 2 of which were temporarily banned, allowed to come back, but continued to break the rules, of which we have very few.

My count is slightly different: Angie, Sandman, Shay, Lightlizard, The Wife, Dan and Petey.

If you are counting Dan as one who was allowed to come back and continued to break the rules, he was banned for life during his 2 week ban so he was not allowed to come back and continued to break the rules. To be sure, though, I don't know if he is part of that count as no names were named.

Hmmm You were looking for The Wife just the other day... I remember the thread you started.. "Where is The Wife?" You and petey were reminiscing...

As for the 3 years - I was referring to the years since Bill passed away. So 4 people in the last 2 years and 11 1/2 months. My mistake.

If you want to discuss this further, please PM me. Thanks.

okarol/admin



Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: cariad on February 20, 2010, 03:39:52 PM
Dan went ballistic when I questioned his comments at one point, on a topic sensitive to many of us, live donors. I truly value the people that he calls friends here on IHD, but felt really alienated from this forum when he blew up at me and everyone seemed to be pretending that nothing had happened. The one person who really listened to me during that incident was Karol. I wouldn't still be participating here if she had not written me the emails that she did. I thank her for that.

I appreciate the moderation here. Like Richard and others have suggested, this site without moderation would be insufferable. Following a few rules that apply to everyone is easy. I feel far more censored by having an individual who expects special consideration for his struggles, and who makes it not worth the effort and aggravation to enter into a conversation with him. There are comments that I wanted to make to Dan, even suggestions I wanted to make, but more often than not I decided it was not worth the risk of setting him off again.

That being said, I don't agree with the idea of a lifetime ban simply because people can and do learn and change, and forums evolve. However, I respect the fact that the admins do not want to discuss this on the forum, so I will let it go at that.

Thanks Karol, Sluff, and moderators for this site.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: hurlock1 on February 20, 2010, 04:04:19 PM
Well said, Richard!!!!!
Ditto!
jmz
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: aharris2 on February 20, 2010, 10:18:15 PM
Being a moderator may be the only important thing a person can do. It could be their entire persona.
It may be that IHD is all that occurs in their life and they are holding on to it with a strong grip.

What is up with this??? Do you read the forums?

There is something that needs to be understood:
Our administrators are members of IHD just like the rest of us.
They are affected by kidney disease, just like the rest of us.
They have the spectre of kidney failure looming ahead, just like the rest of us.
They are dealing with dialysis and the sometimes devastating impact it has had on their lives, just like the rest of us.

They are caring for family members, fighting the good fight, trying to beat back the monster that kidney disease is, just like the rest of us.
In spite of the challenges presented by kidney disease, they try to maintain some normalcy in their lives, just like the rest of us.

On top of all of this, these members stepped up to the plate when Epoman asked for assistance in managing his site. (Only two or three were appointed after we lost Epoman.) To this day, they give of themselves, maintaining Epoman's legacy - this site, which is so important to so many of us.

Members, just like us.
Who decided to declare war on these members? War? You have got to be kidding! On the contrary, I thank these members for the efforts they put forth to maintain this site as Epoman wanted it.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Chris on February 20, 2010, 10:41:34 PM
I would like to add something about the admins & mods, but I am not eloquent in writing.I may not fully understand what has hapened, butI will stand by them. We do not know what has hapened in the background, but whatever had happened was done for a reason.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: lola on February 21, 2010, 07:14:10 AM
I try to stay out of the "drama" but I need to say #1 when do we ever agree with everything people in charge do or have to say? There are rules for a reason and our Mods do a great job trying to keep this site going the way Bill had intended if he was still here, the people who have been banned still would have been banned. #2 I don't think people realize how much off the site they do to help us out(phone calls checking in on people and so on) #3 I almost cried when I saw who started this post as it was a member I cared deeply for who was attacked and left and has stayed away so CINDY miss you girlfriend...luv ya all :grouphug;
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Chris on February 21, 2010, 03:15:22 PM
#2 I don't think people realize how much off the site they do to help us out(phone calls checking in on people and so on) #3 I almost cried when I saw who started this post as it was a member I cared deeply for who was attacked and left and has stayed away so CINDY miss you girlfriend...luv ya all :grouphug;

Have to add that they will also visit you in the hospital ot of the blue.
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Bajanne on February 21, 2010, 04:09:42 PM
Here comes Bajanne! 
I have been away from the forum for a while.  No computer, only snippets if time when I get to use someone else's computer. 
I have been really hurt at what has been going on at IHD.  This site is the best thing that happened to me when I found that I had kidney failure.  I owe much of my ability to cope with this challenge through help that I received at this site from the very beginning.
All this drama is not what Epoman wanted when he started this (at great personal sacrifice).  They are many people here that he would have sent packing a long time ago.  I am a far more peaceful person and usually am very hurt when someone is banned.  So I am glad that I am not an administrator.  But at the same time I am glad for the admins we have and respect them greatly.
These are the ones that protect our site from outside interference and they also have to protect from the inside interference which goes against the whole reason why we have this wonderful website.  It's a demanding job, but someone has to do it.
Please let us get back to the reason why this is the premier dialysis forum in the universe.  Let us deal with what counts - helping each other cope with the renal challenge.
Can't we all just get along?
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: kellyt on February 21, 2010, 04:49:50 PM
Your first line is so funny, because as soon as I saw you were the last poster I said to myself "uh oh".    :rofl; :rofl; :clap; :clap;
Title: Re: You have got to be kidding!!!!!
Post by: Maxridex on February 23, 2010, 03:54:48 AM
Good post Bajanne, much support x