I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Quickfeet on January 05, 2010, 11:53:29 PM

Title: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Quickfeet on January 05, 2010, 11:53:29 PM
If you are on the edge of making the Final Decision please check out this link. http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ It helped me out more than I would like to admit. Before Kidney failure i was never suicidal, now I struggle with it. I have learned a lot of things from this link, if you need help please check it out. If you need support let me know. I've been where you are.
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: kristina on January 06, 2010, 01:25:20 AM

I appreciate the courage to write
about such dark moments and problems.

It was very kind and thoughtful of you
to share this article with us.

Thank you, Kristina.
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: willowtreewren on January 06, 2010, 04:45:56 AM
I wish I had known about this earlier to share with a dear friend who needed it. things might have turned out differently.  :'(

Thanks.

Aleta
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Des on January 06, 2010, 06:06:11 AM
 :'(

I thought the exact same thing!
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Rerun on January 06, 2010, 06:11:49 AM
I think this is great for those who have everything going for them.... health, looks, smarts, family.  I have a friend whose daughter killed herself and had all these things. 

Choosing to quit life support is not suicide.  Pulling the plug on someone who is brain dead is not murder.  If I decide that I've had enough with access problems and feeling bad and decide to stop dialysis that is not suicide, that is stopping the life support that is keeping me alive.  I know there are those of us that do better on dialysis and still choose to stop. 

The difference is the day you start dialysis you are on life support and you are no longer living on your own and therefore you can choose to stop.

Thank you for the article. It still makes one think.

Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: YLGuy on January 06, 2010, 06:16:08 AM
:'(

I thought the exact same thing!

I miss her.  It still hurts my heart.
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Rerun on January 06, 2010, 06:26:46 AM
:'(

I thought the exact same thing!

I miss her.  It still hurts my heart.

Who are we talking about?  I must have missed something......   :embarassed:
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: dwcrawford on January 06, 2010, 06:54:17 AM
Choosing to pull the plug on someone other than yourself or someone with a directive is murder.  Denying access to resources for the aged, infirm, etc. is assisted murder.  Considering insurance, etc. to deny those resources is an abomination. Hey, read the ten commandents about killing.  If memory recalls, they are against it.

If dialysis is life support, is insulin injection life support for diabetics?  How about lliving on someone else's kidney or a transplanted heart?  Oh my god, we  forgot all about considering Mary Baker Eddy!

But the article is excellent.  Thanks for linking  it.  I particularly needed to read it this morning.

 I didn't know your friend, Willow, but I have read about her.  Suicide is truly cruel to family and loved ones.  I know.  Been there.
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Rerun on January 06, 2010, 07:25:55 AM
OK.... quitting dialysis is suicide.  You are right!

Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: dwcrawford on January 06, 2010, 09:25:18 AM
i didn't say that  ...quitting is a personal decision...the issue is that to refuse or obstruct others may be murder.  or at least unrequested assisted suicde

i did love when you said 'i am right' though.  but did you forget   :sarcasm;

Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Malibu on January 06, 2010, 01:08:30 PM
Quitting dialysis = suicide.  Unless it is Unrequested Assisted Suicide, which would be murder as somone else decided to end your life it your own personal decision to end your life.  I.E. Suicide.

Scenario:  You already have a medical directive at the time you start dialysis and do not change it to reflect any wishes regarding dialysis.  Some time down the road you end up in the hospital a vegetable but still receiving dialysis and dialysis is the only thing that is keeping you alive...what is your wish?  Can your Neph keep you on dialysis?
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Rerun on January 06, 2010, 03:57:23 PM
Quitting dialysis = suicide.  Unless it is Unrequested Assisted Suicide, which would be murder as somone else decided to end your life it your own personal decision to end your life.  I.E. Suicide.

Scenario:  You already have a medical directive at the time you start dialysis and do not change it to reflect any wishes regarding dialysis.  Some time down the road you end up in the hospital a vegetable but still receiving dialysis and dialysis is the only thing that is keeping you alive...what is your wish?  Can your Neph keep you on dialysis?

Yes, you must stay on dialysis and be kept alive and the tax payers need to pay the bill forever.  Yes.

Now, let's just stay on topic and read about how to help people in the dark place.
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: paris on January 06, 2010, 04:08:44 PM
Thanks Quickfeet, for reaching out to others who are or have been in that dark place.   There is someone in my life right now who is telling the world how good and happy their life is - but I think it is a complete opposite of what is really going on.  I am extremely worried, but this person doesn't want anyone reaching out.   Again, thanks for your williingness to share your experience with others. 
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: dwcrawford on January 06, 2010, 04:35:14 PM
If you want to help people from the darkside you could take them to a cliff and push them off.... right rerun?
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Malibu on January 06, 2010, 06:17:48 PM
So much for staying on topic...
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: cariad on January 06, 2010, 06:53:27 PM
Thanks Quickfeet, for reaching out to others who are or have been in that dark place.   There is someone in my life right now who is telling the world how good and happy their life is - but I think it is a complete opposite of what is really going on.  I am extremely worried, but this person doesn't want anyone reaching out.   Again, thanks for your williingness to share your experience with others. 

I'm sorry to hear this, paris. It can be such a scary situation. Have you considered calling a crisis line about this person? Especially if you are concerned about suicide, it might help to talk to someone at a suicide line about it. They will likely recommend that you confront the person whether he or she appears to want that or not. Regardless, the phone counselor should listen to your description of what you are seeing and give suggestions. Third-party callers are heroes in suicide prevention - they are often both the first and last line of defense.

As for losing an IHD member, sadly, I don't think the website would have changed matters. Suicide prevention is a frustrating, heartbreaking endeavor. The suicide rate in the US has remained virtually unchanged the past 50 years despite all the effort that has been devoted to it. When you try to help someone work through suicidal feelings, please remember that you are doing more than most ever would, and that sometimes there is just nothing anyone can do.   :'(

Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: paris on January 06, 2010, 07:40:21 PM
Cariad, thank you for your kind words.  I don't share things like that easily.  I pray I am wrong in what I am seeing.  Our family has lost two friends to suicide.  We saw no clues with them.  I am hoping I am just overthinking this situation.    Thanks   :cuddle;
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Stoday on January 06, 2010, 08:11:11 PM
The suicide rate among males is typically three times that of females. Just goes to show they drive us round the bend...

Interestingly, the suicide rate among Muslims is significantly lower than among Christians, who are lower than the previously communist countries.
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: Des on January 06, 2010, 11:06:03 PM
:'(

I thought the exact same thing!

I miss her.  It still hurts my heart.

Inara

Who are we talking about?  I must have missed something......   :embarassed:
Title: Re: For any one in a dark place
Post by: dwcrawford on January 07, 2010, 07:24:02 AM
I lost a wonderful sister to suicide so many years ago.  It still hurts and effects are still there even after my mom is gone (really had a toll there).  It still lingers in her children and grandchilden (who never got to know her),  in me and my younger brothers.  The ripple continues.  I'm wandering if you people who knew Inara still keep in contact with her young daughter.  That's the tragedy in this.

I certainly don't mean to be flip lin this thread but I'm also concerned that others equate it with refusing treatment  or even get off on talk   of refusing treatment to others (personally if I have to pay taxes then those are the kinds of things I'd like the money to go for).  Sometimes it helps to get something back on topic by changing (or diverting) the topic.

I keep forgetting an old adage about "you can't please all of the people all of the time".