I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Brianna! on December 19, 2009, 03:05:09 PM
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Sorry everyone, but I need to rant today!
I just want this thing out now! I've been on dialysis almost a year. Like it's coming up really soon! I think it's December 23rd. Anyway, I've been on dialysis a year, and I've had my catheter out for a month only! I've had my fistula in since May, I think. And there's just so been many problems. First, I had to have it moved to the surface, so I got that long scar from my elbow to my armpit. Then I had to have the fistulagram and angioplasty done. It's infiltrated 92347284302 million times. I got my catheter out for a month (Long enough for my make a wish in Boston, thank god! it was really hot so I got to swim) and then it infiltrated so bad, that I got 5 minuted of dialysis and needed the catheter in the next day. I was only supposed to have that in again for a month. It's been like 3 or 4! I was just about ready to say "no. don't use my fistula. use my catheter, until I get my transplant." Because at the time, I thought my botox worked, and I would get on the list within a week or so.
This thing is just irritating me. It's SOOO itchy all the time. It keeps moving around. It feels like it's falling out. But they look at it, and say it's not. My skin is getting so red from the dressings. I love to swim so much. And I can't. I really would like a shower, too. But I want to swim more. Also, I would have switched to PD when I found out what it was, but I already had these big scars, and then they would have just been a waste.
I was supposed to get it out like a month ago, but it infiltrated! D: Again. Luckily they figured out what to do, so it doesn't infiltrated. And I'm almost done establishing the buttonholes. One more week! And then they can use the blunt needles.
I'm getting my catheter out the Tuesday before new years!!!!! FINALLY. I know I shouldn't complain, since I'm getting it out soon, but I just needed to let it out.
Thanks for listening to this long rant!!
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Congratulations Brianna!!!!!!
Looks like you'll be swimming before me (or soaking in a big hot tub considering your wintering). Don't fret too much about the scars though, they just add to your story. Also they are just another piece of visibile evidence of how strong you are.
Having had 5 surgeries on my abdomen i tell people i was attacked by freddy kruger!
Anyway hope you have a merry christmas!
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sure you should complain!!! if it makes ya feel better anyway ;) I think you have plenty to complain about and hubby agrees.. those things are awful! and scarry! and definatly put a dent in life activities. I felt so bad to jump in a pool when hubby had his. He said it was ok, but it still made me feel awful.. (yea, i did it! We have a year old grandson, and i HAD to play in the water with him! :P ) So, im sure glad of one thing and that at least you have a date of removal.. Hang in there.. time passes ohhhh so fast... :flower;
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On New Years every year, my family and I go to a hotel, and I'm so thankful I'll be able to swim then! The pool's only 5 feet deep, but that's okay since I'm 4'11. ;) I have a bunch of scars, but most of them you can't see, since they're on my back or stomach. If these scars were on my stomach, like yours, I would be totally fine with them, Jenny! But I can't hide these too well. My uncle told me "wow! cool battle scars." And that really hurt me. I don't like people to bring it up. I like to be treated as normal as possible. I hate hate hate pity!! And also when I went to a family reunion and I came back from dialysis I heard someone make a comment 'she smells like hospital.' I cried after I heard that. They don't know how bad that made me feel! It shouldn't have made me feel so bad, but it did, you know?
boswife-I had a scheduled removal before, and they canceled it, THE DAY BEFORE!!!!!
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I came back from dialysis I heard someone make a comment 'she smells like hospital.' I cried after I heard that. They don't know how bad that made me feel! It shouldn't have made me feel so bad, but it did, you know?
:Kit n Stik; i hereby give you permission to take to them with a baseball bat.
The catheter is a pain. Hope your fistula works well from here on in.
I guess i was lucky Brianna that they really push PD with the younger patient out here.
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as brad said :Kit n Stik; :Kit n Stik; i'll loan you my big stick to knock them with.
I can understand hating pity and beign upset by calous people. My son used to get teased a lot, he still gets a lot of 'pity' stares when we go shopping, it gets so bad that he takes his hearing aids out now and only wears them at school. I feel like screaming at the adults becuase they are making him go a step backwards in accepting them as part of himself. By staring they are making him selfconcious about them which puts his development futher back becuase he can't hear properly without them. I know he can take them off and you can't take you scars off but i'm just trying to letting you know i understand your frustration and attitude towards your scars, it's normal. It's normal to be upset by people as well. And, rant all you like
Anyway, It will be so good to swim at new years, i hope you have an excellent time with your family. Merry Christmas and have a wonderful new year.
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Brianna!
Are you exercising the arm by pumping the ball they should have given you at the center? You need to pump it and work up to hundreds of reps each day. That will help strenghten the fistula.
Sometimes you will feel you hand will fall off but this exercise will help.
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I have a catheter now and it works great for me :P haha at least you let it out Brianna :D get well soon x