I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: lou on November 20, 2009, 01:00:32 PM
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Hello everyone. Well I thought I should post for a change while I'm feeling a bit more positive so no one reads my posts and thinks I'm suicidal or something!
Have been having bit of a hard time recently. Started doing pd at night about 3 weeks ago now and although i thought i was handling all of this really well i obviously wasn't as lost count of the number of times Ive cried this week. Most embarrassing one was when i got to work on wednesday and the head (I'm a teacher) asked how i was, you know just being polite, and i burst into tears! To cut a long story short i have found out all my possible donors are no longer possible for various reasons and so my option now is the list. I guess this has been a hard thing to accept.
Anyway woke up today feeling a bit different (no tears!) i don't know if it will last but i just have this feeling things will be OK. I know we all hate being on dialysis. Its completely rubbish and we want to be getting on with our lives without this added worry but i just think things will work out because they have to. I'm not a particularly religious person like i know many of you on here are and I'm not sure if i believe in fate or anything like that but i cant help thinking we must all be strong people to deal with this. I know i have some friends who i think would struggle a lot more than i am and maybe that is why this is something that i have to cope with??
I guess just have to be patient like everyone else and hope things will work out in the end.
Thanks for listening to me rambling on, hope you all have a lovely wkend,
Louise x x x x
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Glad to know you're feeling better today.
We all need a good cry every now and then. Mine was last night, in the middle of the night when no one would catch me. I find if I don't have a good cry every so often, then I burst out in tears at the most inopportune moments. Hang in there.
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Good on ya, Lou. you're doing fine, buddy. I can totally identify with your feelings. If you feel like a cry, then have one. And if you feel like a rant, get on here. You are not alone in this struggle.
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Oh Louise, I am sorry things are so rough right now. It takes a lot of patience to deal with this disease. And it is especially hard to learn that donors are't able to donate. We get our hopes up and then feel so let down. You will get to the point when the tears don't flow as much. Just get through one day and then face the next. Come here and cry--there are lots of us that will join you :grouphug;
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Lou, its good to hear your are having a good day!! My moods change from hour to hour!! One minute I'm so happy to be alive and the next minute I question what life if all about. I guess I'm just "goofy"!
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Louise, it is good to hear that you are feeling more peaceful.
The news about donors is always tough. I try hard not to get my hopes up, but that is nearly impossible. The important thing is that the right kidney for YOU will be the one you get.
Get listed as soon as possible. And you never know. A donor may still turn up.
Be well.
Aleta
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Dear Louise, I can relate a bit.... both my siblings were ruled out as donors a couple of years ago. I wasn't mad or anything but of course I was disappointed... but having said that I also am happy that, in a way, I won't be responsible in any way for anything with them. Yes, I wait on the list and have to be a "patient patienr" and it's very difficult to do, but that's the way it is.
As you come to accept that's the way it is you will get better as you come to terms with that. Try and focus on the wonderful thoughts behind each of your donors who made the choice to put themselves up for testing, and offering to donate - such a generous and selfless act. That's all you could expect of them. Sadly it wasn't to be, but sometimes that's the way it is - and may well turn out to be the best thing for all concerned.
Hang in there. Your time will come.. and when it does.. watch out!!!! :)
xoxoxo
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Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better!