I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: Brianna! on September 23, 2009, 03:39:17 PM

Title: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: Brianna! on September 23, 2009, 03:39:17 PM
My dad's friend who was on dialysis for 16 years passed away recently. I just found out yesterday. The funneral is soon. I don't know when. I think it's on Saturday. He had 18 kids and he wasn't that old. No one came foward to donate to him, and that made me a little upset. Although, I don't think he could get a transplant, because he missed sometimes a week of dialysis and he ate whatever he wanted, and I never saw him take one pill. He didn't take care of himself at all.

Keep his family in your prayers?

 :pray;
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: kimcanada on September 23, 2009, 03:51:22 PM
I am so soory you lost your friend  :(
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: Jean on September 23, 2009, 04:15:44 PM
Thats a shame, sorry to hear it.  :flower;
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: willieandwinnie on September 23, 2009, 04:52:37 PM
Brianna thoughts and prayers for the family.  :cuddle;
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: RightSide on September 23, 2009, 05:14:09 PM
My thoughts and sympathies for his family.

But he's not the only one.

No one in my family has volunteered to be a kidney donor for me either.
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: Brianna! on September 23, 2009, 06:00:55 PM
My thoughts and sympathies for his family.

But he's not the only one.

No one in my family has volunteered to be a kidney donor for me either.

No one in my family has volunteered for me either. People outside of my family, that can't for whatever reason, are though. =|
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: plugger on September 24, 2009, 04:55:38 PM

No one in my family has volunteered for me either. People outside of my family, that can't for whatever reason, are though. =|


I hate to hear it when family members decline to help.  I gave my daughter a kidney nine years ago and I can say I haven't noticed any adverse affects - as I like to say, might as well have lost a toenail.  In fact, I've got better health than two of my younger brothers.

This about kidney donation:

"Your surgeon and nurse coordinator will discuss all health risks with you. The risks of donation are similar to those involved with any major surgery, such as bleeding and infection. Death resulting from kidney donation is extremely rare. Current research indicates that kidney donation does not change life expectancy or increase a person’s risks of developing kidney disease or other health problems."
http://www.umm.edu/transplant/kidney/qanda.htm#6
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: sico on September 25, 2009, 12:32:56 AM
I do feel for your friends family Brianna. But do you think if he'd done what the doc's said ie; followed the diet, took his meds and never missed dialysis he'd still be here? I know some people just do what they like, but it has to hurt the people that care about them when their health slides.
18 kids! Thats a fair effort.
I am lucky both my parents and siblings want to give me a kidney. Looks like my old man could be on the chopping block so to speak.
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: Brianna! on September 25, 2009, 09:11:36 AM
Actually when we went to the wake yesterday, I found out he didn't die from lack of dialysis. He had a hole in his intestinte, and it started leaking bad stuff into his body. He was on life support for 10 days, and I didn't ask, but I think his family "pulled the plug." I was wondering if he had dialysis when he was on life support? If not, then it was a mix of lack of dialysis and the hold, that probabaly killed him.

Sico--You're lucky that both your parents and siblings want to donate. I don't have very many healthy people in my family. My mom's a diabetic and has hep c, my dad died a year ago, and my brother is one. If he was older, he still wouldn't be able to donate, because his kidney's are fused. My cousins are all under 18. The only people who can donate are my aunt and uncle. My aunt said she would gilve me blood if I needed it, but she hasn't said one thing about possible donating a kidney. I don't want to ask anyone to donate one, I want them to want to donate. Only one person has told me personally about dontating. That's my uncle. My aunt who had cancer would donate to me in a second, I know that. So would my mom.
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: maritza0486 on September 25, 2009, 11:49:49 AM
Hey Brianna,

First of all I would like to give me sentiments for the loss of your dad's friend. Things happen and maybe it was just his time to go. God will take care of him now so there is no need to worry. It is amazing that he has 18 children...that is the tough part to deal with...is leaving a sulking family behind. But overall, I would definitely keep his family in my prayers.

Second of all, I am sorry to hear that not many family members are able to donate because of health issues or because of being underage. No need to fret, I will keep you in my prayers as well. Stay positive and do not let any of this get you down. This is my second transplant and it was so miraculous that it even happened. I thought I did not deserve a second one but I started going to church in August and kept my faith really high and 3 weeks later, the Lord blesses me with a healthy working kidney. Everything will be ok. As I said, I will pray for you.

And third of all, OMG you met Adam Lambert! He is so amazing. That picture looks so awesome. He is so very adorable. American Idol is one of my favorite shows and I am so excited about Ellen Degeneres being one of the judges because I watch her show and she is so very funny.

Anyway, Brianna, if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. I will PM my email address and my AIM screen name if you ever need anything. God Bless you. :bandance;
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: sico on September 25, 2009, 07:12:49 PM
Actually when we went to the wake yesterday, I found out he didn't die from lack of dialysis. He had a hole in his intestinte, and it started leaking bad stuff into his body. He was on life support for 10 days, and I didn't ask, but I think his family "pulled the plug." I was wondering if he had dialysis when he was on life support? If not, then it was a mix of lack of dialysis and the hold, that probabaly killed him.

Sico--You're lucky that both your parents and siblings want to donate. I don't have very many healthy people in my family. My mom's a diabetic and has hep c, my dad died a year ago, and my brother is one. If he was older, he still wouldn't be able to donate, because his kidney's are fused. My cousins are all under 18. The only people who can donate are my aunt and uncle. My aunt said she would gilve me blood if I needed it, but she hasn't said one thing about possible donating a kidney. I don't want to ask anyone to donate one, I want them to want to donate. Only one person has told me personally about dontating. That's my uncle. My aunt who had cancer would donate to me in a second, I know that. So would my mom.

Yeah, sounds like he was in a bad way. I've been told the longer you are on dialysis the more likely you are to have other complications.
I think i'm only starting to realize how lucky i am Brianna, with the kidney offers. IHD has helped me with that. Was a bit reluctant to accept a kidney from my family, 'cause i seriously don't mind waiting and am not keen on the idea of someone putting their life on the line for me. Like you i could never ask someone to donate. I wouldn't touch my sister, what if she has children and one of them needs one?
Are you active on the waiting list? I hope you get a kidney thats a perfect match.
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: Brianna! on September 25, 2009, 07:45:26 PM
I'm inactive right now. I have to get my bladder problems fixed, or at least as fixed as they will be, before they'll list me as active. If they weren't fixed and I got a kidney, it would fail right away, apparently.
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: plugger on September 26, 2009, 06:27:00 AM

Yeah, sounds like he was in a bad way. I've been told the longer you are on dialysis the more likely you are to have other complications.
I think i'm only starting to realize how lucky i am Brianna, with the kidney offers. IHD has helped me with that. Was a bit reluctant to accept a kidney from my family, 'cause i seriously don't mind waiting and am not keen on the idea of someone putting their life on the line for me. Like you i could never ask someone to donate. I wouldn't touch my sister, what if she has children and one of them needs one?
Are you active on the waiting list? I hope you get a kidney thats a perfect match.


I admire your willingness to sacrifice, but I can tell you from a parent's perspective it was harder watching my kid deal with dialysis than giving up a kidney.  She wasn't taking well to it and we could see it - and as you mentioned the longer on dialysis the more likely there will be complications.  I felt the strain of watching her was what was going to kill me, not any operation.  If you have somebody healthy and willing to donate, I say take it!  It will be a weight off the shoulders of the both of you.
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: plugger on September 26, 2009, 06:34:10 AM
I can say watching my kid perk up after the operation was one of the greatest thrills of my life!  Don't deny someone that!
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: sico on September 26, 2009, 08:21:19 AM
Sorry to have taken this thread off topic Brianna.

Plugger, thanks for the input. My mind is made up, if things get the go ahead i will be accepting. My parents have told their transplant physician that April next year suits them with work and things, so could be my turn then.
Title: Re: I got some sad news yesterday.
Post by: plugger on September 28, 2009, 05:45:59 AM
Brianna,

I am sorry to hear about your friend's Dad.  I've seen a few friends and relatives pass on, my feeling is its only a temporary separation and we will see them all again someday!  I wish the best for his loved ones.

I guess it brings back a lot of memories when I see younger people dealing with kidney disease.  I told my daughter she stole my disease - not that anybody should be dealing with - but a mean old man like me should get it rather than somebody starting out in life.

Sico, I wish you a lot of luck this next April!  My only regret was not having the daughter do more chores before I gave up the kidney: mowing the grass, washing the car, doing the dishes... - while I had some leverage.