I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: karen547 on July 28, 2009, 02:34:47 PM

Title: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: karen547 on July 28, 2009, 02:34:47 PM
 :( my sister backed out of the transplant. I am shocked, angry, and upset. I know it is her decision but that just makes it harder because she CHOSE to back out. I am just sitting here in disbelief, and hopefully i will have a better outlook tomorrow. i need some hugs.
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: Savemeimdtba on July 28, 2009, 02:41:30 PM
Oh man... I'm so sorry  :grouphug; - did she give a reason? 
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: okarol on July 28, 2009, 02:44:28 PM

I am sorry Karen. It's very hard to receive that news, especially when you've gotten your hopes up.
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: jbeany on July 28, 2009, 02:53:26 PM
Oh, that's lousy!  Hope you get another chance soon.
 :cuddle;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: cariad on July 28, 2009, 02:57:34 PM
Oh, Karen! I am so very sorry. Of course you're hurt and angry - I would be, too.

Take care.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: willieandwinnie on July 28, 2009, 03:09:54 PM
 :cuddle;  :grouphug;  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: KICKSTART on July 28, 2009, 03:17:14 PM
Im so sorry to hear that after getting your hopes up , no wonder you are in shock.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: kellyt on July 28, 2009, 03:48:03 PM
Then that's not the kidney for you.  You have to believe that.  Unfortunatley, it won't make sense until you get "your" kidney.  After my first three donors were denied I was giving up fast.  Then I got MY kidney.

 :cuddle;   Hang in there.   And don't stop looking for YOUR kidney.
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: Romona on July 28, 2009, 03:49:57 PM
 :grouphug; I don't know what to say!
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: Deanne on July 28, 2009, 03:57:08 PM
I'm sorry!  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: David13 on July 28, 2009, 04:05:23 PM
 :grouphug; 
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: willowtreewren on July 28, 2009, 07:23:37 PM
So sorry you had this bad news. It must be emotional for your sister, too. But it really sucks when your hopes are up and then they are dashed.

Hugs for you.

 :grouphug;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: lola on July 28, 2009, 07:38:52 PM
 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: kitkatz on July 28, 2009, 09:40:12 PM
 :grouphug; :grouphug; <<<<<<<< all I can do for you!
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: Hanify on July 28, 2009, 09:46:55 PM
So sorry to hear your news.  Maybe she just needs a bit more time?  Maybe she read something scary about it.  Try to forgive her - I would imagine it would be awful sayying no when you had your hopes up.  Maybe just ask her over a glass of wine?
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: Jean on July 28, 2009, 11:30:43 PM
Oh, that is so disappointing. I am so sorry.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: RichardMEL on July 28, 2009, 11:59:37 PM
Karen - *tight hugs*

That's a big shock to hear.. but you have to remember that it absolutely is her decision and she needs to feel 110% comfortable with making it - donation is a big deal.. it's not like giving $10 to go get a slurpee or something. (mmmm slurpee).

I know when my siblings were being tested I half expected them to back out rather than be rejected, but it happened the other way.

All I can say is that yeah maybe hers isn't the right kidney for you and I hope once you can accept this pain and hurt of her offering, then pulling back, that you can find it in yourself, at some point, to accept her decision and not give her too much grief for it. I know it totally screws your life around, but I'm sure while she's made a decision that on the surface seems selfish and callous(and I don't know her of course) - I'm sure it was hardly an easy decision to make.

Who knows, it could actually wind up being a blessing in disguise.

We all feel your pain and shock at this point though!!  :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: rose1999 on July 29, 2009, 12:17:54 AM
 :cuddle;  :cuddle; Here are some hugs, you must be hugely disappointed.  Do try not to let if affect your relationship with your sister, given time she may come round to the idea after all. If not then at least she was willing to try even if sadly too scared to go ahead.  I am so sorry to hear this  :cuddle;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: pdpatty on July 29, 2009, 01:07:43 AM
You are still on the list and that is a plus. I will try and hope just to get on the list and hope a match will be found someday. None of my family can donate because I have polycystic ,my children and my sister could develope it ,too.
I have no close friends that would do this. So I will just have to wait 'cause I can't go on Larry King Live  and tell my story. Only the famous can do that.
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: Rerun on July 29, 2009, 05:20:19 AM
Karen I'm so sorry.  I feel you are blessed that she even offered.  My siblings have not offered.  There are things your sister has to consider (I'm not sticking up for her).  Does she have children that may need her kidney someday.  Does she want more or any children of her own because pregnancy is hard on 2 kidneys. 

Again, I'm sorry for your disappointment.                     :grouphug;
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: paul.karen on July 29, 2009, 05:36:15 AM
I understand you being shocked upset and angry.
Who wouldn't be.  These are normal emotions for an above normal situation.  Maybe your sister just got a little scared.  maybe she will decide to go ahead after a little time has passed.  It is such a BIG decision for her.
Wishing you all the best Karen.
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: kellyt on July 29, 2009, 02:41:05 PM
I hope you're doing okay, Karen.  You're in my thoughts.
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: twirl on July 29, 2009, 03:06:58 PM
my twin sister would never consider giving me a kidney --
her answer -- NO
and Karen, I am sorry about this with your sister but -- you are so young -- your time will come


kellyt   what is written on your shirt
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: kellyt on July 29, 2009, 04:10:47 PM
It says "When good kidneys go bad"      And it shows one kidney flipping the bird to the other.   ;D
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: marti824 on July 29, 2009, 06:13:53 PM
I'm so sorry Karen, that does suck, and I know how you feel, my brother wouldn't give me his either.  at the time i thought, "selfish bastard"  but, I'm better off, i never would have heard the end of it from him.  Our kidneys are out there, have patience and have faith.
Title: Re: Well...... i'm not getting a transplant as soon as i had hoped..
Post by: Wattle on July 29, 2009, 09:22:01 PM
Hang in there Karen.   :cuddle;

I agree it's not the kidney for you. It is really difficult when donors are rejected or back out. I have had both happen. I was devastated. I began to think differently of Live donors, I just couldn't go through the disappointment again. I got on with dialysis and just did everything to remain on the "waiting list". It paid off. I received a cadaveric 5/6 antigen match transplant on the 13th July. Your kidney is out there... just waiting for the right time.