I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: KICKSTART on June 08, 2009, 08:55:42 AM
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It must have ..surely my closest friend cant be wrong ?
I dont know if im angry or upset or both , but i must be an awful person. I have written several threads on here of how friends stay away , dont stay in touch etc but today just about tops them all !!!
Heres how today went , i got a txt from my 'best' friend this morning after 3 weeks of nothing ..'Im on hol now , if you want to do something let me know' So straight away i replied .. 'I cant do anything today , all ready made plans , but tomorrow fine, ok?'
An hour later ..no reply ..so i txt back (she always does this to me , sometimes im lucky if she replies at all!) BUT she always expects me to answer her straight away and lets me know about it if i dont.!
Anyway i thought ..i dont need this .. i dont need being ignored so i sent a txt again saying ..' Why do you always do this ? txt me then never reply , its not very nice you know. '
Her reply ..'theres no need to send me nasty txts'
My reply' nasty txts? '
Her reply ..'i DO have a busy life you know'
Well i cant tell you how angry and upset thats made me feel , i know what i want to do , i want to txt her back and get it all off my chest and say you ungratefull, selfish b**** , i hope one day you are seriously ill and need someone , well dont expect it to be me. ! But i know i wont say these things, but i also know im even more determined to have a 'busy life' myself next time she wants to do something !
Ive had a lovely day out ! :yahoo; I caught up with a lovely lady who isnt a close friend or a friend ive had for a long time , but shes horsey , so shes ok in my book! and ive just been to see her new stables and there are some tiny minature horses there , one has a 2 week old foal , its no bigger than a medium sized dog , totally adorable. So even if i say so myself ..a pat on the back to me for getting out , making the effort ..and 2 fingers up to my best friend for thinking she can pick me up and drop me when it suits her !
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Can I get an amen on that, sister?! This is not a friend, this is merely an acquaintance you've known for a long time. Real friends take you to the hospital, empty your puke bucket, buy you groceries, call you every day just to check on how you're doing, etc. It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing to help you stay in touch with life. :clap; Never foget, you ALWAYS have us! :cuddle;
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You? Too demanding? I don't know about that... although you know those Cylons usually utter "BY YOUR COMMAND!" a lot so there could be something to it!!! :rofl;
Seriously though with the situation you describe, just looking at it from her (potential) point of view I can sort of understand why she got upset. I think this is one of the main problems with texts... you leave the nuances and emotion out of it and it's SO easy to misunderstand things... I'm not saying you shouldn't have written what you did (very frustrating!) but it would have been something best said in person where you could explain more broadly how you've been feeling and not have her jump to defensive conclusions based on 140 characters on her phone.
Perhaps you should actually CALL her and talk to her (if she's willing to listen!) and try and explain.. if you feel her friendship is valuable to you of course....
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Richard , i can see what you are saying but im not sure you see what im saying .. lets see if i can make myself more clear.
You have a best friend , you txt them , dont you do that expecting to enter into some sort of conversation? You cant say shes too busy to take what 30 seconds to txt me back? (and dont forget she on HOLIDAY) so its not like shes at work and its difficult to do. She expects me to drop everything and txt her straight back and yet im called 'nasty' when i bring this point up. In fact Richard she has even said to my face , oh i saw it was a txt from you so i just deleted it , i knew it wouldnt be anything important. Shes told me , i dont know how easy i have it and how lucky i am not to have to work and up to now ive just taken it .. well im sorry no more. I once opened up to her and thought id see how she would react , i told her how lonely i was and how i wasnt getting out much ..her answer... plant some hanging baskets ! My gawd is that all i can expect from life. I dont depend on her for my life, but it would be nice if she took a bit of time out for me ,funny thing is , she didnt have a problem txting me everyday when i used to have a horse, because she wanted to ride it. She had all the time in the world for me when she wanted to go drinking and i could drive , so no Richard i stand by my original post, i think shes self centred and just plain ignorant !
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I agree with Richard. There is no texting etiquette. Sometimes people text but never receive replies (or they arrive 2 hours later.) Other times there's an interpretation of meaning in a text that isn't necessarily accurate. If you really want to make plans with someone, call them. My kids text like maniacs, but God forbid that they'd actually speak to their friend! It's weird. I text too, but if something is important, or a plan is in the making, I call.
But besides all that, your "friend" sounds like she's too busy for you. Develop that new friendship and dump the other one.
:cuddle;
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Why do we continue with these friendships? I have one of those too but I feel like we have known each other so long that it would be cutting off my arm. Although my arm keeps beating me over the head.
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I can see the point about txting and things being misunderstood but yes!!!! i can also add to that ..In 3 years ,yes 3 years she has never rung me .. ive have or had to ring her and she only has a mobile (which is free from work!) if she really wants something badly or quickly , i will get a txt .. ring me asap and me ..gullible me ,has done! This is why i dont ring her. And can you imagine my phone bill ?
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Kickstart - I don't want to sound mean, but your 'friend' sounds more like someone who makes friendships because of what that person can do for them. Now that you aren't providing, there's not much of a friendship. Too bad for her - it's her loss.
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This person isn't your friend. The horsey person who let you see the new foal is your friend. I'm sorry you were hurt. From what you said about your history with this non-friend, I think I'd start to ignore her messages. If she really wants to be your friend, it's time for her to put some effort into it.
I dumped a non-friend a couple of years ago and I'm glad of it. My real friends call if they haven't heard from me for a while. My non-friend only called to give me a travelogue of his life.
:grouphug;
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My non-friend only called to give me a travelogue of his life.
Don't you love those friends & relatives? Their way of staying in touch is to let you know everything about their life and travels? They don't have time to hear about yours? It's as if they think they are doing you a favor by letting you share in their life, even if it's just to hear about it.
Real friends show up with dinner - already cooked - easy to heat - without being asked. Real friends call with a joke just to cheer you up. Real friends don't care if you're too tired to go out - and are just as satisfied with hanging on the couch watching a movie. Real friends care.
Edited: Fixed quote tag error - okarol/admin
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It is when you are sick that you find out who your true friends are. They are the ones that still want to go shopping with you and don't mind pushing the wheel chair if you can't walk that day. They are the ones that will still listen to you rant and rave as you go through the poor me's, even though they have no Earthly idea what you are really going through. I thank God every day that I have a few fiends like that. And those that I thought were friends, and have turned out not to be, well, God bless them and keep them, far away from me!
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Thanks guys i needed to hear some of those replies , i was convinced i'd turned into some kind of monster. I think shes sort of left the ball in my court now ..as she has a habit of doing , but to be honest i dont think i want her company now even if she can spare it , she makes me feel like its a chore and its always when it suits her anyway. I dont think im going to reply again and im sure she will feel justified that shes 'done her bit' so i will leave it at that rather than resort to her level and maybe say things better left unsaid.
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I think you are awesome! You have a great sense of humor. Your friend is missing out!
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Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. Can you block numbers coming into your cell? I don't know if that is even possible but might be kinda fun if she were to get a 'bounce back' text like I sometimes get when I send something to a incorrect email address. The bounce back message could be 'this message is being returned because (insert your name here) doesn't give a _ _ _ _ that you called. :rofl;
Texting is a great little tool. Look what it has done for your 'friend'. She can tell everyone "well I tried to keep in touch but look at how ungrateful my friend is". The she is a hero (at least in her own mind). It just seems like you may have taken a bit too long to see her for what she is. Go with the friend with the horses. Animals make much better company and take good care of yourself.
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The bounce back message could be 'this message is being returned because (insert your name here) doesn't give a _ _ _ _ that you called.
LOLOL :2thumbsup;
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Probably I will get slapped upside the head for this, but that "old" friend only deserves one finger up. !!!!! My bad
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I'm just having a hard time with the fact that this "friend" tells our KS that she doesn't know how good she has it since she doesn't have to work! WTF? Like kidney failure is *such* an easy road! For all the stress and annoyances my job sometimes gives me, I'll take it over disability ANY day of the week, thankyouverymuch! Does this person not realize what a complete and utter all-day job it is to deal with kidney failure? The symptoms, the wretched diet, the loss of energy, and last, but certainly not the least, the dialysis? I'm not even there yet, and I get worn out just thinking what my future is going to be like with all that. KS - thank you for all your posts and for sharing what you've been going through. You have been through way too much lately, what with the car and your BP and all, and I think that it is high time you finally get yours in a POSITIVE way for a change!!! And yes, bring on the REAL friends, by golly!
:wine;
KarenInWA
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Oh thanks ever so much guys ..i needed your input just to make sure it wasnt me. The only satisfaction i can take is the old saying ..What goes around ..comes around! To be honest if i dont see her again ..what am i losing ? We go where she wants to, when she wants to . Im not saying that everyone isnt entitled to a moan , but its all me, me me , she moans about money/work/just about everything, so do i really want her company? Im going to move forward , make new friends , go join this support group when they have their next meeting ( in a pub) They dont give the impression they sit around talking dialysis , in fact they sound more normal than my normal friends !!! Im going to go back and see the lady with the horses, i enjoyed that yesterday. :2thumbsup; A big hug and sloppy kiss to all of you !
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Hey shes just sent me a txt ..' I take it you dont want to do anything then ? ' Now i dont know if i have done wrong but ive replied ...
No you're ok ,but thanks for the offer, it sounds to me like you need some time for yourself right now with your busy life , enjoy your break ,i have plenty of things to do.
Was that ok?
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Hey guys ,30 yrs of friendship? ended with a txt .. Her reply .'.ok i wont bother you again ! '
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It's a new era in rudeness. I heard that Phil Collins faxed his request for a divorce to his wife. Gotta love it...
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Lots of people don't understand how devastating Kidney Disease can be. One "old friend" -- excuse me "old person I know" called one day and I complained about all the noise at the center. Then I said I was going to buy some noise reduction headphones. The next day she called again and (after thirty minutes of telling me everything that everyone she'd seen that day had said, and her second cousin twice removed's gall bladder operation, she says "I hope you wasted all that money on the headphones. You are so used to living alone that people in general bother you". And then immediately asked if I intended to barbecue on Memorial Day? I told her I was going to save my money and buy a laptop. Well, If you can afford it, she said. You sleep too much she said.
Rude, ignorant, uncaring, self centered -- probably some of all.
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:cuddle; Kickstart - it sounds like you're making the best of this - with humor! You're right, what are you losing? You've got all of us, whenever you need a friend!
dw- I would put the noise reduction headphones on next time the "old person you know" calls. :rofl;
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KS - I hope my first reply didn't offend you - it wasn't intended to at all. I personally think you're awesome and as others have said she's clearly a selfish self centred person.. I mean what kind of "best friend" tells someone "I saw the text was from you so deleted it" WTF??? That's just rude apart from anything else. Move on!! You have more important things in your life to deal with and don't need petty stuff like that to bug you.
You say it's a 30 year friendship that may be headed towards a climax - via text no less (!) I think that's sad, but perhaps that's just an indication that for most of those 30 years she was just a fairweather friend.. now you're in a situation where it's not so simple and she doesn't want to deal.. and due to ignorance or whatever reasons throws it back at you with the "your life is so easy" crap.. uh huh.. is she forgetting your loss of income, how sick you've been, the crap going down with the coucil and the problems with your car being smashed up and all that? Yeah, easy my backside....
You're not a demanding monster though - we all can see that!
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Thanks Richard ..no i wasnt offended at all , i understood what you were trying to say . Anyway i might be ill but im still the stronger of the 2 , she was the type that HAD to go to bed if she got a cold , shes going to come unstuck one day but i expect i will have my busy busy life by then !!!! :rofl;
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Karma bus baby... karma bus!!!
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Sad. Really sad for her. Your message sounded perfect - friendly and still leaving it open for the future possibilities. Hers was not. It's too bad your friend wasn't there for you, but it sounds like she never really was anyway - you were there for her. It's OK to grieve for that loss, but I'm really glad that you are moving on. You deserve better.
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I am sorry Kickstart! I got an email from my "best" friend of 25 years. First she was complaining about how much sewing she has to do making bridesmaid dresses and then threw in a one liner " How are your treatments going? Is the last one this week?" How do I answer that? - The infusions are fine. I am fine. Thanks for checking on me during the past month and for not coming to my son's wedding when you rsvp that you would be there! - Oh well, what are we going to do? Their lives go on and ours have become very different. But, we are still here and making the best of the situation :2thumbsup; You are doing great, Kickstart! You inspire us to keep moving forward, too. :cuddle;
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Paris .. we are never going to change these people , we are never going to educate them. I just tell myself ..SHE has lost a fantastic friend not me ! and you should do the same. We are stronger , we CAN make new friends , we can offer something , whereas these so called friends .. well who is going to stick around them when they see they are' takers 'not 'givers.' My friend was what i called a freeloader in a sense , if there was a meal/.bbq/party going she was there , but never returned the invite , so sooner or later people stop inviting them. I bet in 12 months time its not me sat here with no friends , but i have an idea who WILL be sat there with no friends. I havent time to waste dwelling on her i can put my (little) energy to much more use ! And seeing your friend didnt come to your sons wedding ..you could have sent me her slice of cake !!!! :rofl;
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And the five course sit down dinner that cost a fortune! And you still pay for the two people who said they would be there and didn't show up! I should have asked for take home boxes! At least we all have each other, even if we are an ocean apart! :grouphug;
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I think people like that(most of which are healthy ) are scared of what we have become(most just a shell of ourselves). weird diets, restrictive fluids, me personally loss of over 100lbs., always tired. but don`t waste the time you have on such foolishness(people like that).
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Richard , i can see what you are saying but I'm not sure you see what I'm saying .. lets see if i can make myself more clear.
You have a best friend , you text them , don't you do that expecting to enter into some sort of conversation? You cant say shes too busy to take what 30 seconds to text me back? (and don't forget she on HOLIDAY) so its not like shes at work and its difficult to do. She expects me to drop everything and text her straight back and yet I'm called 'nasty' when i bring this point up. In fact Richard she has even said to my face , oh i saw it was a text from you so i just deleted it , i knew it wouldn't be anything important. Shes told me , i dint know how easy i have it and how lucky i am not to have to work and up to now Ive just taken it .. well I'm sorry no more. I once opened up to her and thought id see how she would react , i told her how lonely i was and how i wasn't getting out much ..her answer... plant some hanging baskets ! My gawd is that all i can expect from life. I don't depend on her for my life, but it would be nice if she took a bit of time out for me ,funny thing is , she didn't have a problem txting me everyday when i used to have a horse, because she wanted to ride it. She had all the time in the world for me when she wanted to go drinking and i could drive , so no Richard i stand by my original post, i think shes self centred and just plain ignorant !
I had a "best friend" (Really more like an acquaintance) like yours too. When she found out I needed to go on dialysis, she was all ho-hum about it and said, "Oh, well at least it keeps you alive!". This woman never wanted to spend time with me unless she was bored and no one else was available to hang out with her, and then when we did hang out it was always to run errands and she acted like it was a chore if I wanted to go have a meal together and she would run me through a fast food drive-through instead and take me home after. Heaven forbid if I talked to her about dialysis or my problems, because according to her it was "all about me" when I did.
But wait! She did invite me to her daughter's birthday party a couple of weeks ago (after naming all the expensive licensed characters her daughter likes, presumably hinting at an expensive gift for this child, who I have seen all of twice in my life, and the girl is 2.), which was on a Saturday (one of my dialysis days, which she asked if I could just "call off or whatever.)
Yet only a day before, she couldn't be bothered to help my husband and I when we got some bad bus directions and were left stranded in the next county, saying, "Oh, I'd like to, but I have no gas.". When I told her we had no money and no way to get home, she said (snidely, of course), "Well, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not coming all the way out there." We ended up paying $65.00 for a cab (my sister wouldn't help either. Nice sister, huh?) We are on public assistance and cannot afford a car, so we either go everywhere by foot or by bus..
Then again, this is the same person who made fun of me when I was fat, laughed at my musical taste, opened the passenger window of her car while I was sitting in it about 6 winters ago and drove through slush, letting it hit me in the face, all the while laughing and doing it over and over. This is the same person who went to all my family's events and ate her fill over the years, never inviting me to one of her family's events, and going out to clubs with other people and calling me the next day to tell me about it as if she was doing me some sort of favor by letting me hear about her life, since mine was (in her words) "so boring".
So why am I really surprised that she's like this.? I shouldn't be.
She had all the time in the world for me before I started dialysis, that was when she wanted me to help her do chores or or help her move, but now I guess I can just go to hell unless, of course she wants help carrying groceries or she's bored or wants presents for her daughter (who barely even knows me, no less.)
She would sit and cry to me about her petty little problems (one of her friends told her off, her kid's being a brat, work was SOOO hard, she got a flat tire, etc.) and how it must be nice to sit in a chair for four hours twice a week and just "chill and watch TV".
I don't know about any of you, but I have never "chilled" at dialysis and the sore a$$, cramping, headaches, and not knowing if or when you'll get a transplant are a hell of a lot worse than bratty kids or flat tires anyday.
But, since her life's just ever so hard :sarcasm;, I've left her alone to drive her own "WAH-mbulance" to "Poor-Me General Hospital." I've got real friends now.
P.S. And the hanging basket thing was a scream! My "friend" said the same thing, only it was fuzzy posters she suggested not hanging baskets when I said I was bored and lonely. I guess crafts and gardening are all we are supposed to do outside dialysis since we are so pathetic that no one wants us around. :sarcasm;
People like that we don't need, and that's why I dropped her after 22 years of supposed "friendship'. Who cares who long they've been around? If they're not a real friend, don't waste your friendship or your time. Their loss, I guess.
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Kitsune :clap; :clap; :clap; I think your 'best friend' must be the twin sister of my 'best friend' I didnt believe anyone else could have a best friend like mine!
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Some people are just emotional black holes - when you are around them, they suck all the light and air out to the atmosphere. I've dumped a couple of those "friends" in my lifetime, and surely don't regret the loss. I've got real friends - the ones on the list that I call when I've got emergency fistulagrams, who drop everything to get me to the hospital. I'm not up to a lot things I used to be able to do for them, but I still do what I can.
Kickstart, you're answer was perfect. I'd be very busy from here on out every time she texts if I were you.
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Leslie said that she lost pretty much all her friends once she started dialysis. One by one, they dropped away or she dropped them. She said that you wouldn't believe how many people thought she could "hook them up" once they heard the news. Hook them up?!?! She's on dialysis, not a crack dealer!!!
But in their place, came better friends, truer friends, REAL friends who have been there for her no matter what. And, 9 years later, she's even gotten calls from a couple of old friends who now understand her condition and have apologized and now help me care for her when I'm out of town.
So, who knows, Kickstart, maybe your friend will come around one day and realize just what a mistake she made by blowing you off??
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I often ask myself how I would have reacted to friends in similar situations as mine, had I always been perfectly healthy and not had such an enforced deeper understanding of chronic illness. I'm honestly not sure that I would have been the greatest friend. We never really know how we'll react until we're in a given situation.
I feel very thankful that my friends are possibly better people than I am.
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I know what sort of friend i am and how i re-act. My ex best friend who has no time for me now ..once trapped a nerve in her shoulder (painfull i know) she took to the sofa , took morphine for the pain ! (poor soul :sarcasm;) and lay there while everybody waited on her. I had kidney failure at that time and didnt live nearby ..about a 20 min drive away. I visited everyday to make sure she had lunch/drinks and COMPANY! She was married so it wasnt like she was on her own!. Pity she has such a short memory!!!
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I try to be patient with people, but when they complain about various things I tune them out. I shake my head sympathetically. I want to scream, "your head cold, hangover, in grown toenail, zit....ect is nothing." If you are tired because you are healthy enough to ride your bike, go shopping, party all night.ect. Be thankful. People I didn't realize were my friends were great through this. Illlness does show you who your friends are.
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I have one friend who really listens no matter what I tell her.
And then I have all of the IHDers I know and talk to regularly on the board, who listen to the tales of dialysis I have!
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Wow Kitsune what a story! Talk about a fairweather friend.. and an ignorant one at that... also a real "user" (of people).... I love the attitude "at least YOU can sit in a chair for 4 hours and do nothing except watch TV" - like it's a freakin holiday we're having lazing around at the expense of others. Ha! Don't I wish! Or the notion that you could "cancel it or whatever" to come to the brat's birthday party. Umm yeah.. this stuff keeps me alive.. sure I'll cancel it... the results won't be pretty but it's not like you'd give a damn anyway.
Sometimes people's selfishness and lack of understanding or perspective is amazing.
As others have said these are the times you get to really know who your REAL friends are. The ones who will give a damn, and try and understand your situation. I do not expect people to truly understand(how can you unless you've been there yourself?) or to constantly try and prop me up, or show sympathy or anything like that (I'm not a charity!) but it's nice to know when someone appears to understand if I say I'm tired, or I can't make it to so-and-so because I've got D it's not because I'm blowing them off, or I don't want to go or whatever... that this is serious and it's what keeps me alive! I don't expect them to understand the diet or fluid restrictions, but to respect that if I say "I can't have that" - again it's not to blow them off or that I don't appreciate them offering me that drink or whatever... but I simply can't as much as I might want to... and so on and so forth.
Unfortunately there are a lof of people out there who lack the insight that perhaps things they are going to aren't quite as serious as others. I do not mean to put down others and I *know* everyone faces struggles of one kind or another in their lives (and often people facing more serious issues often won't let on) but it does sometimes seem that some people will whinge about relatively trivial things (flat tyre, feeling ill because of a hangover from drinking all night, etc) yet at the same time don't seem to appreciate some of the issues we are dealing with every single day. Still that's life and in a way those sorts of people are blessed that they have never had to deal with a chronic disease like the majority of us - and hopefully they don't have to - I wouldn't wish it on anyone myself.
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Oh my.. this thread is so true....
I have lost ALL my friends and I am not even on dialysis yet.
I work a 40h week and I am dogtired in the evenings... lifting my hand to feed myself is an effort.
Saturday we rush from one sportfield to another for my kids' sport and Sundays it is church and little bit of homework (mending and fixing)
I guess I do not have time to be a friend that is why I don't have any anymore.
This is so sad....
I don't have anyone to hold my socalled puke bucket or wipe my brow or feed my kids when I'm ill just my husband. He is my everything.
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the line about the puke bucket cracked me up. My husband is the absolute best in everything, but that. he has to leave the room. and it's usually with a "you're at it again, huh?" comment. I do love him though.
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shame .... little did they know when they married us through sickness and through health - what that really meant.
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'friends' always call me up to moan about their health problems!! I think it's really funny! I have one friend who's type 2 diabetic (because he's overweight) who loves to call me up and tell me how ill he is. He seems to think that I lay on the couch all day eating peeled grapes and being wafted gently by large palm leaves.... I often wonder how these people would cope with a serious illness....
These same peoplpe don't want to hear about my problems, hence I don't tell them, so they think I'm perfectly fine... catch 22 I suppose, if you tell them you're 'moaning' if you don't tell them they assume that you're doing well, even if you're not....
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Well it's all about perspective I guess - and unfortunately(or fortunately for most?) they don't have perspective gained from experiencing(or having someone close experience) a chronic and/or terminal disease to know what it is like, or to put their own situation into the proper perspective.
It's also interesting when folks like the type 2 diabetic due to being overweight complain when chances are it's something they've brought on themselves(due to getting overweight and/or not doing anything serious to sort out their weight issues ***note I am saying 'chances are' because I recognise there are some people who are in this boat through no fault of their own)... yet for people suffering from ESRD most of us are due to no fault, and it's not like we could change our diet to change things, or stuff like that.
I have to be honest and say that before I was diagnosed the only time I ever heard about dialysis was from watching "Star TreK IV" where there's a scene where our heroes pass by an old lady looking very unhappy. Doc McCoy asks her what the problem is, she wails "Kidney Dialysis" - McCoy mutters something about barbaric medicine or whatever - gives her a pill and goes on his way. A little further on in the story as our heroes are escaping the hospital you see the woman all happy and elated and the doctors around her commenting "She's grown a new kidney!" and everything is right with the world. I would have had no concept of what really was going on there, and probably wouldn't have cared much - because that was my experience and perspective. Obviously that all changed when I was diagnosed and informed what the future would hold.
In a way I can't really blame or get upset with these sorts of people. I'm happy for them that if the most they have to whinge about is a bad cold, or feeling low because they partied all night or whatever... well I think "Lucky you to have your relative good health" because it is so precious. Only sometimes do I get envious or think "Look at what you're taking for granted!" - because I know if it was me and I never went through this stuff, I probably would be quite similar.
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sure glad you qualified that statement about type II diabetics...
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Thanks Dan - I didn't want to offend anyone who is there through things other than that which they can control. I guess whenever I think of type two diabetics caused by being overweight I think of this one guy we had in our unit for a year or so. He was(is) a big boy. Around 120kilos. Not sure what that is in pounds, but quite a bit. Anyway this guy is purely there due to diet and lack of exercise (he even admitted it himself once). The thing that frustrated me about this guy is that he was clearly suffering - he had to give up his job because he was going blind, and obbviously his kidneys failed... and the nurses and dieticians would talk to him about how important it was to try and get healthier to lower his weight which may stop the diabetes and the effects on his eyesight etc. He didn't do a thing. Kept eating junk food and doing bugger all.. and suffering more. I felt pity for him, but only a certain amount because this case was CLEARLY one where he had a choice, and for whatever reasons he decided it was easier to keep going the way he was and getting worse rather than trying to be proactive and doing all he could to help himself.
I recognise that not everyone is in that sort of situation though and I certainly didn't want to tar everyone with the same brush.
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Also not yet being on dialysis, just suffering from the fatigue. I have also lost all but a few friends. Amazing, last year I was the belle of the ball and this year, nothing!! Really hurts my feelings in my small community when someone asks me, have you been invited to so and so's party and I have to say no. I have never been a social pariah in my life, and here it is, SMACK right in the face. I dont really know how to react to this, except to love the ones I still have more and smile at everyone else. To heck with all of them. Thanks for letting me rant.