I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: Humor, Pictures, Stories and Poems => Topic started by: lanemn9 on March 01, 2009, 07:28:59 PM

Title: Her Eyes
Post by: lanemn9 on March 01, 2009, 07:28:59 PM

Her Eyes

Today dialysis was really rough
Never did I think it could be so tough
Sitting here feeling low
My blood pressure took a blow

When it dives and dives deep
You get so hot and feel so weak
At times like this you want to die
But all you do is look in her eyes and cry

I'm not as strong as I seem to be
As a friend just pointed out to me
I hate dialysis I will not lie
To many times it made this grown man cry

   written by Gary Lane

Title: Re: Her Eyes
Post by: kitkatz on March 02, 2009, 03:29:21 PM

The ending needs a little reworking to make it really pop.  And who's eyes?

Title: Re: Her Eyes
Post by: lanemn9 on March 02, 2009, 04:11:48 PM

And the who is one of the techs who I have been thru this before with and Im not looking to make anything pop it's just how I feel but thank you 

Title: Re: Her Eyes
Post by: Wenchie58 on March 02, 2009, 06:18:49 PM

She's a teacher Gary, she cant help it!  ;D

Your feelings come through.

Title: Re: Her Eyes
Post by: Rerun on March 02, 2009, 06:34:21 PM

Quote from: kitkatz on March 02, 2009, 03:29:21 PM

The ending needs a little reworking to make it really pop.  And who's eyes?

   :rofl;     :Kit n Stik;

Title: Re: Her Eyes
Post by: kitkatz on March 03, 2009, 09:45:27 PM

Okay, Okay.   Going back into my hole and leaving it alone.   But you know if you post it here it is fair game..  Mumble mumble mumble....crawling back into hole now.  :shy;

Title: Re: Her Eyes
Post by: lanemn9 on March 03, 2009, 10:15:28 PM

You are right Katz it is fair game and Im sorry just im new here and havent shared my writings with anyone andi need to learn to take critazime { if thats how you spell it } so ty

Title: Re: Her Eyes
Post by: Hazmat35 on September 07, 2010, 11:29:10 AM

 :sarcasm;  I LOVE IT!