I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: alrightstill on November 17, 2008, 12:36:59 AM
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Back when I used to do hemo dialysis in center three times a week (2002-04) I used to always joke with the techs that the reason I seem a little loopy towards the end of a treatment was because dialysis "sucks my brain cells". I had no proof whatsoever behind this theory - but it was fun to use an excuse when they would ask me something at 830a, after I've been on the machine already for 2 hours and usually only got 3 hours sleep the night before.
Then in '04 I started on nxstage 6 days a week. Believe it or not, the schedule wasn't nearly as taxing on my everyday life as doing it in center. In center I'd usually go to bed around 2am the night before, only to have my alarm go off at 5am to be at the clinic by 6. I'd dialyze for 2 hours and 45 minutes and then come home and sleep til like 6pm. On nxstage - I usually do a treatment right before I'm about to go sleep so it's become part of my nightly routine.
Anyway - I'm getting off track here. Lately I have just been soooo scatterbrained. I'm not remembering simple things - or conversations - or even how to perform certain tasks when I work. (Granted, I work on the computer and use a lot of programs.. and you know what they say, if you dont use it you lose it. Maybe I just need a refresh course). I'm also just not wanting to be any effort into holding conversations or.. even going out. I find it extremely hard to concentrate too on certain things and lose interest very easily.
Ah. But a prime example.. as I'm typing this post I'm thinking to myself "didnt you already post a question like this on the board?" UGH. I can't remember!! :Kit n Stik;
Now, this could all be maybe depression..? I've had a really rough past few months. My parents got a divorce, my beautiful, wonderful doggy passed away tragically and then 2 weeks later my grandmother passed on. If it weren't for the New Kids on the Block reunion I don't know what would bring me happiness these days. (But that's a whole 'nother post in itself!)
So yeah - the main point of this post. Has anyone ever experienced something like this? I'm wondering if I'm just noticing it more now because I'm dialyzing so much? Or maybe I'm just getting old? ???
*I apologize in advance if I posted something similiar to this in the past!
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I forget simple things I will be talking to someone and can't remember names and words this is short term. I will sit there and say "whats that guys name" It will come to me but it takes a minute or two...Boxman
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It's official. You are losing your mind. The proof is in the fact that the reunion of the New Kids on the Block is making you happy. The only explanation is that you must be insane or crazy.
LOL!! Just kidding, of course.
I always feel 'loopy' after dialysis - even to the point where I actually have to think hard in order to get the words to come out of my mouth. I'm not sure why that happens. Many times, throughout the day, it is a struggle for me to focus and make it through a thought. Sometimes, I just kinda faze out. I don't know why, I just figure that our body goes through so much, it's tired both mentally and physically. It hasn't really stopped me from doing something, I just find it harder to work simple math problems that before I didn't even need to think about. I bought a DS and play those BrainAge games, and that has actually helped me.
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Last time I was on dialysis (1980-1985) I was teaching at a university in Nova Scotia which was cool since my schedule was quite flexible. I did five hour hemo runs three times a week at home. I used to tutor students for my first two hours on the machine but after those two hours I couldn't think well enough or be sharp enough and I felt they weren't getting a decent enough remedial lesson. I used the next two hours to correct "mindless" homework exercises, like grammar but no essays which required more complex brain processes.
It was quite discouraging, how difficult I found some tasks that never posed any trouble at all prior to starting "brain sucking" dialysis. I had a host of articles I'd planned to write for academic journals or presentations within my department but mostly I'd get frustrated at going round and round trying to say what I meant, the fact that this was all in French which was not my first language made it that much harder, and I'd either give up or produce stuff I wasn't satisfied with in the least. I used to get angry with myself which was not at all useful and I worried that I'd actually suffered brain damage.
This time around I'm much kinder to myself and I don't expect my brain to function on any particular level. So now I'm lazy as well as dumber. Oh joy...the Golden Years. Yeah sure, whatever.
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Oh joy...the Golden Years. Yeah sure, whatever.
Golden years my ass.... :rofl; I'm not even the kidney patient and my mind has gone. CRS (can't remember shit) is my middle name. :cuddle;
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:rofl; :rofl; CRS sounds like a close relative of SFB (s@#% for brains).
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What did Zach call it? Dialysis dementia?
allrightstill, we all get it. No matter how good your dialysis is, it's still not the same as a functioning kidney. Just consider the increased toxin level as making you sort of permanently drunk. Pity it's not as much fun!
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Count me into the CRS club. I had always had good memory, both short and long term. After being on dialysis for awhile, my short term memory started going down the crapper. I forget what day it is, I forget the phone number someone just gave me two minutes ago, I forget how much I'm going to take off on treatment in the two steps from the scale to the dialysis machine, etc. My long term memory hasn't really been effected (yet). I can still remember quotes from movies I haven't seen in ten years. Oh well, just another sucky side effect of dialysis.
Adam
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cherpep - lol @ NKOTB. C'mon, you weren't a fan? I have absolutely no problem remembering the songs from when I was 8 years old, but can't remember which posts I've read or didn't read. Sometimes I come on here and read a post and its not til I'm done that I'm like 'Hmmm.. that was really familiar'. I then look at the date and also see that I've replied to the post before - :urcrazy; it's silly!!
I'm really glad to see it's not only me though. I think I may invest in the DS game too to keep my brain moving even on "down" days.
Thanks guys! :grouphug;
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alrightstill - I must confess, I was a fan of NSYNC. I still like Justin Timberlake, shhhhhhh - that's my secret.
I understand completely what you are saying. Work has gotten a lot tougher for me - things that came so easy before, I now have to work for. I don't remember what I had for dinner yesterday. But, honestly, those Brain Age games do work. If nothing else, it makes you feel like you're doing better when the graph shows improvement. I finished those math problems in 15 seconds today - yesterday it was 20. You know, things like that.
If you do get a DS - a really fun game is Mario Kart!! I love playing that one with the kids. My son, daughter, me, and my hubby each have our own DS unit. You should see us at a restaurant, waiting for a table. We whip out our DS's and pass the time. Competing on Mario Kart or Mario & Sonic at the Olympic games - those are our favorites to play with each other.
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Yep, the brain is not always working. I find I have a problem following instruction from my trainer when I am at the gym. It i shard to put more than two movements together. I don't know if it is my native klutzy or the brain fade from D.
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It is me walking beside Adam from the scale reminding myself of the numbers at each step........grrrrr
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Along these lines, I have a slightly more serious related question. I'm currently on PD, which is nice, but who knows if sometime in the future I'll get an infection and have to go temporarily on hemo. When I was in the hospital for uremia between when I had my first catheter put in and when we discovered it wasn't working, they put me on hemodialysis through a femoral catheter for three days. The entire time I was there, I was lying in bed, except when I had to stand up briefly to get into a wheelchair. When I came in, I was having trouble standing up and breathing.
By the time I left, my numbers were all good, including my blood pressure, but I kept having really odd feelings. It's hard to explain because it was all inside and around my head, but periodically, my ears would start ringing, and it felt like I was disconnected, almost the same as when you stand up and get dizzy, but I was lying back completely relaxed. It would get worse and worse over 30 seconds or so, until it felt like I "broke out" of it, and I was suddenly back in my own head, breathing heavily. It was almost like almost passing out, but without the explicit feeling of losing blood circulation.
And then, for a week afterwards (which was as long as the positive effects of dialysis lasted), I still felt generally not-connected, not really dizzy, but not in total equilibrium either. Almost like a stationary dizziness - nothing was spinning, but it felt like I was spun out. It messed with my concentration, and my hearing, and my PD nurse commented on how pale I looked. I was almost afraid to drive because I didn't feel right. It was serious enough that it significantly impacted my performance on final exams that week. It slowly got better over the week.
I'm wondering, if I have to go on hemo sometime in the future, am I going to have to deal with this again? If so, will my body get used to the dialysis, or will I have to deal with feeling drugged out all the while I'm on hemo?
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I went through weirdness feeling after I was in the hospital the first week of Nov..surgeons said because I was close to death so mentally my body had to go through that and then the switch from nxsstage back to incenter at the same time...this past monday I felt like I "snapped" out of everything. I feel GREAT, have walked, went out, did things, I really pray to God it lasts. Dr. told me to do something for myself evrey day I feel good so I'm going to try that.
Ann
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Yeah, day to day on PD I feel just the same as I did predialysis, mentally at least, which feels as normal as I can remember. I'm mostly curious whether the weird feelings I had were due to the dialysis, or recovering from the bad uremia that brought me in.
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After two weeks on nocturnal dialysis my brain snapped back into my head. It was a weird feeling to finally be able to think again.
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I know what you mean.. I'm scatterbrained as hell most of the time. With the stress of dialysis both mentally and physically it seems only natural.
Life is stressful enough.. put dialysis on top of that and your going to have your days. Personally, losing your mind doesn't sound that bad.. Ever notice how happy insane people look. :rofl;
Well, hang in there and remember, oh look, kittens. What.
sincerely Mike L
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Yeah, day to day on PD I feel just the same as I did predialysis, mentally at least, which feels as normal as I can remember. I'm mostly curious whether the weird feelings I had were due to the dialysis, or recovering from the bad uremia that brought me in.
Restorer, it is possible to be allergic to some of the things used in hemo, like the filters, the lactate, the heparin, etc. You might have been experiencing an allergic reaction to something. It also might just have been a reaction to the rapid changes in body chemistry that happen when you start dialysis. I had a really rough time the first few weeks, as my body readjusted to a much lower toxin level. It did get better as time went by. If you have to restart hemo at some point, you may go thru something similar again. If it doesn't go away after you've been on for a while, then you need to start looking into the allergy thing.
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I hadn't considered allergies as a possibility. I haven't tended to be allergic to anything else (just a mild allergy to penicillin), and I know I'm not allergic to heparin because I've had that at plenty of other times. I'm thinking it was the latter, a reaction to such rapid change in body chemistry. Whether it will happen again, I don't know - that time, I went from feeling the worst I've ever felt to feeling better than I'd felt in years (aside from the strange head issues).
I'm hoping that if that's the case, there will be things I can do preemptively to prevent it if I need to go on hemo temporarily (say, if I get an infection and they have to pull out the catheter).
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I don't feel as sharp as before I was on dialysis. It feels like I've got a mental block sometimes.
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literally and figuratively dialysis does suck your brains out