I Hate Dialysis Message Board

Dialysis Discussion => Dialysis: General Discussion => Topic started by: LightLizard on November 02, 2008, 06:57:20 AM

Title: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: LightLizard on November 02, 2008, 06:57:20 AM
Date: Halloween, 2008. The week before this ancient and deliciously pagan holiday my heart began beating with a wildly erratic rhythm, going from 36 beats per minute to 90 beats per minute. I began to feel dizzy every time it slowed and as the week progressed it only worsened.

I was hospitalised and a pacemaker, or ‘pulse generator’ was inserted into my upper left chest to correct my wandering heart’s dance.
It is widely suspected that the heart medication I had been taking for so long had disrupted the electrical
pattern of my heart and the upper and lower chambers could no longer communicate and work together.
Thus; the need for the pacemaker.

In researching the possible causes of my case, the cardiologist found that I have a narrow aortal valve which will need to be replaced in the near future by open heart surgery. ('Aortic Stenosis')

Having been dependant on dialysis for the past two years has more or less prepared me psychologically, at least, for this most recent adventure with my heart. In all of this I have seen clearly and emphatically how important it is to make the most of every moment. To find a way to be cheerful and accepting of the greatest struggle can be so useful. Not just for one’s self, but for those around you who may also be in great need of comfort.

To be in fear during a time of trouble is to make a bad situation worse. Not only for yourself, but for everyone around you. There is always some measure of joy to be found in any of life’s dramas. Even suffering can be borne with grace when one finds the strength to accept and trust the flow of life. This is turning lead into gold. The heaviest element becomes the most valuable.

May your Life be Golden and Glow with the light of your Joy for All of your days.

In love with Life
 :guitar:

~LightLizard~

Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: pelagia on November 02, 2008, 07:45:27 AM
Great post LL!  The motto around our house is "today is not a dress rehearsal."  :flower;
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: pelagia on November 02, 2008, 08:50:21 AM
Only minutes ago I learned that the husband of a dear friend passed away suddenly yesterday from a massive heart attack.  My heart is sad.  Life is too short to take any day for granted.
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: petey on November 02, 2008, 02:12:31 PM
Good to read your posts again, LL.  I'm so glad you're back and that heart is beating regularly and fast enough (albeit with some help) to keep you from feeling like poo-poo.

Keep that attitude!  It will definitely be to your benefit in the long run.
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: willieandwinnie on November 02, 2008, 02:41:13 PM
:cuddle; LightLizard, I was happy to see you posting again. I pray that you get stronger everyday. Please keep us updated.  :grouphug;

pelagia, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I have not taken a day for granted in almost 8 years and cherish each and everyone of them.  :cuddle;
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: monrein on November 02, 2008, 02:57:56 PM
I'm glad you're home LL.    :flower; :cuddle; :flower;
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: thegrammalady on November 02, 2008, 05:44:11 PM
glad you're still with us lightlizard
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: Romona on November 02, 2008, 05:55:36 PM
 :grouphug;
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: Sunny on November 02, 2008, 11:24:37 PM
Nice post. Keep up the positive attitude. Have you read the book The Alchemist? It's really good and I suppose that might be where you are coming from.
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: Joe Paul on November 02, 2008, 11:58:34 PM
Welcome back LL, sorry to hear of your heart condition, I pray the pacemaker does the job. Again, welcome back  :thumbup;
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: idahospud on November 03, 2008, 01:37:09 AM
what a grate way to look at life!!!!   I hope I can  be that strong as I travel this road we're on.  :grouphug;
Title: Re: The Alchemist's Dream
Post by: LightLizard on November 03, 2008, 06:44:20 AM
thanks for your supportive words, friends. one thing i have noticed is that when i am not feeling as positive as i could feel, its almost always because i feel alone and isolated, for some reason. and, if i look closely i always see that there are others who are in the same boat as i am, so its really impossible to be alone and isolated, unless we convince ourselves we are.
since i got the pacemaker inserted, my blood pressure and pulse readings have been the best of my life, so far.
 :yahoo;

and thanks, sunny, for the book reference. i haven't read it, but from what you say about it, i think i should.

 ;D