N.Y. wedding ‘bittersweet’ for parents of organ donor

[okarol]

N.Y. wedding ‘bittersweet’ for parents of organ donor

By Algis J. Laukaitis Lee Enterprises
Tuesday, Aug 26, 2008 - 11:45:19 am CDT

DAVID CITY -- Milt and Janet Bemis of David City traveled to a wedding in upstate New York earlier this month.

They weren’t related to anyone in the wedding party. But they have a special connection connection to the bride, Lily Mandel.

She received their son’s liver.

Matthew lost his life after a drowning accident at a lake south of Papillion in 1984. He had been under water for nearly 15 minutes before two men pulled him to shore.

Despite efforts by doctors, he was pronounced brain dead and put on life support.

“It became pretty obvious our son -- as we knew him -- was no longer with us,” said Milt Bemis. “That’s when my wife, who was holding him, started to say: ‘I wonder if we could �- ’ She stopped and I said: ‘donate.’ And she said: ‘yeah.’”

Later that day, a UCLA Medical Center team flew to Omaha to recover Matthew’s small liver. According to the Nebraska Organ Recovery System, it was the first liver ever recovered in Nebraska for transplant.

Lily Mandel, 14 months old at the time and from Tucson, Ariz., could not breathe on her own and was days from dying.

Her liver was riddled with tumors, causing her stomach to swell to the size of a basketball.

“At the time she received this liver, she weighed 25 pounds. Her diseased liver weighed 12 of the 25 pounds,” Milt Bemis said.

Their son’s death and the transplant that saved Mandel’s life was Aug. 8.

The wedding was 24 years to the day after their son’s death, Milt Bemis said.

The couple flew to New York and spent several days at Niagara Falls before driving to Syracuse, N.Y., to attend the wedding.

“I am really excited for her because she is starting another new chapter in her life,” said Janet Bemis.

Some transplant recipients never meet the donor families. But the Bemises met Mandel a year after the transplant and have kept in touch with letters and calls.

“We sent them (Lily’s family) a letter, saying we would be very open to talking about losing Matthew and the transplant,” Milt Bemis said. “We received a five-page letter from Lily’s mom.”

The couple got another chance to meet Mandel when the Nebraska Organ Recovery System brought her to Nebraska for its annual symposium. The then-5-year-old and her parents came out to Rising City, where the Bemises lived, to celebrate Lily’s birthday.

The Bemises’ daughters, Crystal and Tiffany, also got a chance to spend time with Mandel when they traveled to New York about six years ago.

Four years ago, the Bemises met Mandel’s fiancee, Brian. The couple was engaged last Christmas and called the Bemises in January to share the good news.

“It’s a unique situation that we are very blessed and fortunate to have something good happen out of our tragedy,” Milt Bemis said. “We never expected to meet the recipient. People don’t. They try to keep that private.”

Asked where her thoughts would be at the wedding, Janet Bemis replied:

“We’re probably going to be thinking about him (Matthew) the whole time. But this is her day. It’s going to be bittersweet because of the timing and everything.”

http://www.columbustelegram.com/articles/2008/08/27/news/local/doc48b42d9e1e77a276720663.txt?orss=1