A daughter's love

A daughter's love

By ALLISON RUPP
Star-Tribune staff writer Wednesday, August 06, 2008
[oas:casperstartribune.net/news/casper:Middle1]

Doctors said she could change her mind up until minutes before the operation.

They could make up an obscure medical excuse to tell her family if she decided not to go through with it.

But minutes before the operation, nervous Abbie Patik felt any remaining reservations disappear. The 18-year-old wasn’t changing her mind.

Looking at her father hooked to tubes and tied to beeping machines as he received his final dialysis treatment before surgery, Abbie Patik knew she couldn’t let her father live – or die – this way.

On July 10, 2008, Rod Patik received a kidney from his daughter during a transplant operation at the University of Colorado Hospital in Denver.

Both are back in Casper, back to work and doing well.

****

Abbie Patik’s freshman year of college was normal enough.

After graduating from Kelly Walsh High School in May 2007, she headed to the University of Wyoming to study psychology. She took the typical freshman classes, made new friends and visited home about once a month.

But Abbie Patik kept a secret her freshman year. A secret kept from her friends, teachers and family.

One weekend in April, Abbie’s parents, Rod and Toni, traveled to Cheyenne for their 14-year-old son's basketball tournament. The Patiks received a call from their daughter asking if she could drive over to see them.

It was time to make her secret known.

“I was kind of afraid,” Abbie Patik said. “Dad is kind of high-strung. I knew he would just think the worst of what I said. I didn’t think my parents would give me enough credit for all the research I had done.”

Besides writing psychology papers and studying for chemistry exams, Abbie Patik spent her freshman year researching live organ donation.

She wanted to give her father one of her kidneys. Rod Patik was on the organ transplant list because of his type 1 diabetes.

“Surprise,” she said at the basketball game.

“No, I'm not letting you,” said Rod, who admits he had no idea his daughter was planning this.

“No, you’re too young and healthy,” Toni said.

Those were the reactions Abbie expected. She went back to her dorm room that night in hopes the two-and-a-half-hour drive back to Casper would give them time to think.

Like many parents of teenagers, Rod and Toni Patik didn’t give their daughter enough credit. They thought she was too young to be making decisions that could affect the rest of her life and said she didn’t fully understand all the ramifications.

They wanted to shield their daughter from any pain and problems this operation might cause her.

But Abbie Patik wasn’t going to take no for answer, even if it was coming from her parents.

She would do the research. She would take all the necessary tests. She would be cut open and have part of herself removed. She would find the words to convince her father to let her give him the gift of life like he had once given her 18 years ago.

“Dad, I’m a young woman now. I can make my own decisions,” Abbie reminded her father.

“But you’re still my little girl,” he said.

****

During an emotional family meeting in June, Rod Patik told his family he wanted to quit dialysis.

He had become fed up with his dialysis regimen of waking up at 4 a.m. three times a week and spending four hours hooked to a machine. Dialysis removes waste products from the body in place of a functioning kidney. The 11 months of dialysis had taken a toll on him.

“I can’t do dialysis anymore,” he said. “Why don’t we just have a normal summer together and see how things go?”

Abbie Patik knew her father wouldn’t make it to Christmas without regular dialysis -– or a new kidney.

“No,” she said. “I want you to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. I want you to hold your first grandchild.”

Abbie felt her father had been ignoring her offer from April to June by always saying, "We'll talk about later." During those months, Rod had sought the advice of three pastors, several doctors and family members.

His kidney doctor, Dr. James Rupp, said he needed to accept what his daughter was trying to do, especially because of the psychological effects his denial might have on her if he was no longer here.

If he didn’t take her kidney now, he couldn’t imagine what greater things he might be taking from her in the future.

During that family meeting in the living room of their Casper home, Rod Patik accepted his daughter's offer.

“You have kids to give things to; you don’t think of them giving to you,” Rod Patik said. “I can’t even express what I feel. I can’t put it into words. I have so much admiration for her.”

Even though he is blind because of his diabetes, Rod Patik couldn’t stop the tears from rushing from his eyes.

****

Right before Abbie left for college in August 2007, doctors told Rod Patik his lone kidney was failing.

As a type 1 diabetic for most of his life, Rod already had his own two kidneys removed, received a transplant in 1998 and now, faced the possibility of needing a second transplant.

He started to get sick in November 2006, but his condition worsened last summer. He would sleep most of the day, falling asleep during the middle of work. He began dialysis just to keep him alive.

Abbie missed the experience of having her dad move her into her dorm room at college. He wasn't there to help set up her loft bed or lecture her about boys, drinking and drugs.

Using the Internet, Abbie researched ways to improve kidney health for her dad and looked at average wait times on the transplant list. In her research, she came across a Web site on live organ donation, something she had never thought of. The idea of it began to consume her.

First, she waited until she turned 18 -– most places won’t let you donate until you are 18.

Then, came all the research on the risks of donating a kidney. She learned people can live normal lives with one kidney even though humans are born with two. Risks included complications during surgery, scarring from the operation and a greater chance of having high blood pressure. She would have lower kidney function.

None of those seemed too bad. High blood pressure can be controlled with medication and diet. She already had higher than normal kidney function so if it decreased some that would be OK. She didn't care about scars.

She took the next step by testing her blood type at the UW health center to see if she was a match with her father. She was.

In March, Rod Patik's condition was severe enough to put him on the transplant list. Abbie called her mother and asked for her father’s transplant list number.

The coordinator of the program at University Hospital said it might be difficult to get approval given Abbie’s young age. Abbie met with a social worker to determine her mental capacity for such a decision.

“Do you have good friends?” the social worker asked.

“Yes”

“Do you have good family relationships?”

“Of course.”

“Do you know the consequences of a live donation.”

“Yes” and Abbie listed her countless hours of research.

“Why did you decide to do this?”

“It’s selfish on my part. I want him to be there for MY wedding, MY first child.”

The social worker approved the donation.

“The social worker shared with Rodney and I that normally they would have never cleared an 18-year-old,” Toni Patik said.

A nurse in the kidney transplant unit at University Hospital said Abbie Patik was the youngest live donor she had ever worked with, probably the youngest the hospital ever had.

Throughout May and June, Abbie underwent many medical and psychological tests to determine if she could do the surgery.

Finally, the surgery was scheduled for July 10.

Toni Patik packed enough for the family to stay with cousins in Denver for about six weeks.

They left Casper July 7 and Abbie and Rod had their pre-operation tests July 8.

Abbie spent the few days before surgery taking advantage of Denver's shopping. She went to a swing club the night before the operation while her dad relaxed.

"Golly, we're having surgery tomorrow," Rod said.

"Let's just get the last hurrah in," Abbie said in true teenage-fashion.

They checked into the transplant unit at 8 a.m. Thursday, July 10. Abbie went into the operating room first at 11 a.m. and dad followed 30 minutes later. Her operation took less than two hours while Rod's was about two and a half hours.

Abbie Patik said she was much more nervous two months before the operation when she had her first evaluation. Doctors said they were going to blow up her stomach with gas to force the kidney to move from her back to her front and then cut open her stomach. They said there would be a lot of pain for a few days.

The day of the surgery Abbie was calm with the help of some medications. The only thing she was nervous about was the anesthesia, which she had never had before.

Right before the surgery. Abbie and her brother, Dustin, took funny pictures in pre-operating room. Toni Patik cried.

"I love you dad," Abbie said as she went into surgery. "I will see you when we get done."

The pain was much, much worse than Abbie imagined.

Even though she was a young woman who could make her own decisions, it was still nice to have dad sitting next to her bed holding her hand after surgery.

“I could see the pain in her eyes,” Rod said.

The surgery for a live donor kidney transplant is usually tougher for the donor than the recipient. Rod Patik was up 24 hours after the surgery challenging people to races in the hallway while Abbie Patik was glad she had a catheter so she didn't have to get up to go to the bathroom.

"I've never been in that much pain," Abbie said.

To her surprise, much of the pain -- shooting pain -- was in her shoulders. Nurses told her she would experience pain in her shoulders, but Abbie thought it would be a dull ache.

A donor's shoulders hurt because of the gas used to inflate the stomach during the surgery.

Abbie said she pushed the morphine drip next to her bed as much as she was allowed.

When nurses first started making her walk around, Abbie walked hunched over and at a pace slower than her grandmother.

The two were discharged Monday, July 14, even though Abbie wanted to stay another day.

Toni and Rod expected to hang out in Denver for the next six weeks while Rod had his new kidney checked every other day to make sure his body wasn't rejecting Abbie's kidney.

He was doing so well after the first seven days that Denver doctors said he only had to come once a week.

The family returned to Casper July 18.

Rod drives to Denver on Sundays to be tested. The family was hoping that after his tests today, doctors would tell him he had to only follow up with Casper doctors.

"I always expected it to be harder for him, that he wasn't going to bounce right back," Toni Patik said. "The last lab results were his best in 15 years."

"It's a remarkable kidney she gave me," Rod said. He will still have to monitor the kidney in coming months to make sure his body isn't rejecting it.

This past week Rod and Abbie returned to work. Abbie's first day back was Thursday, but she only worked a half day because she didn't feel well.

There are still some bruises on her stomach, but Abbie said she is feeling about 85 percent better.

Dustin Patik said his sister could be one of those heroes featured on a night-time news program.

He said donating a kidney is just one item on Abbie's long list of accomplishments.

“Getting a full-ride, going to college, being valedictorian, donating a kidney,” Dustin says and wonders how he will live up to his older sister.

He is already showing his sister what he is capable of. The past few weeks since his family members' operations, he has been checking his blood sugars more regularly and using his insulin correctly.

Dustin Patik is a type 1 diabetic just like his father.

Looking back, Abbie Patik said her only real reservation about donating her kidney to her father was Dustin. She wondered if he would ever need a kidney transplant and who would be there to give it to him if he did.

"My deal with Dustin was, 'I'm going to give this kidney to dad, but you need to take care of your diabetes. I don't want to have to regret this because down the road you need one,'" Abbie Patik said.

Abbie said her dad is a different person now, the one she remembers from her childhood and the one she wants to be there for her children.

Even after all the pain, the missed summer vacation with friends, fights with her parents and the unknown future of her two kidneys, Abbie Patik said she still wouldn’t change her mind.

In fact, during her research, she learned living people can donate part of their livers or lungs to people who need transplants.

“As much pain as I went through, I would do that.”

Contact health reporter Allison Rupp at (307) 266-0534 or allison.rupp@trib.com.

Abbie Patik said there are many people like her father who need organ donors. In May 2008, about 76,000 people were on the kidney transplant list. She and her dad want to spread the word about live organ donation.

Abbie Patik recommends people check out these Web sites if they are interested in becoming a live donor or for more information:

-- www.kidney.org/transplantation/livingDonors/index.cfm

-- www.livingdonorsonline.org

-- www.uch.edu/conditions/transplant-services/kidney-transplant/living-kidney-donation/index.aspx

Some live kidney donation facts:

-- There are about 6,000 living kidney donors every year.

-- About 45 percent of living kidney donors are between the ages of 35 and 49.

-- About 58 percent are women.

-- Living kidney donation began in 1954.

-- About three-fourths of living kidney donations come from a blood relative.

-- Benefits of live kidney donation include less wait time for the recipient, convenience of scheduling the surgery in advance and superior quality of the organ over a deceased donor.

From livingdonorsonline.org.

http://www.jacksonholestartrib.com/articles/2008/08/06/news/casper/doc4895399bea4f2490768859.txt