Don't "F" with my chair!

[Inara]

The only time you're going to find me with my legs up in the air like that is when I'm working in a brothel-- and today is my day off!

 

[tubes]

I'm always in the same chair.  I have been shuffled around a few times.  I'll stay in the same area for several months.  One thing I like is they always keep me and Tanya sitting right next to each other.  We are the youngest in my unit, so we can goof and talk all we want.  Plus we have our own tv's and we like to watch the same shows.  The bad thing is we are under the vents.  I like the cold...... sometimes.......it's down right ridiculous how cold it gets.

My on time is about 6 15am.  I usually get there 10 till 6, and they usually get me right on. 

I dont mind what chair I sit in...as long as I sit next to Tanya.  I dont like sitting next to anyone else! ! ! ! 
There is one guy they sit him in a corner by himself.  He farts....ALOT.   Silent and very deadly.....It is SOOOOOOO not funny.  The nurses are always spraying air freshener.  Some days I wish I could smell the Feed Lot and not him. 

The charge nurse told me we are getting new chairs.  There are a few to choose from.  So she is bringing one in at a time and letting a few patients test drive them b4 she buys.  That'll be nice...letting the patients help choose.

[Rerun]

There is one guy they sit him in a corner by himself.  He farts....ALOT.   Silent and very deadly.....It is SOOOOOOO not funny.  The nurses are always spraying air freshener.  Some days I wish I could smell the Feed Lot and not him. 

Laughing my guts out!   

[angieskidney]

Sometimes when the fluid is being taken off you just gotta fart Not like you can run to the bathroom

But man those stinky guys You can't run from them neither

[kitkatz]

I have had days where I am the stinky fart patient.  Oh those poor people!

[Rerun]

Once.......I thought I had to fart but it was poop!  GOD!  I was only a half hour into the run too. Then what the hell do you do.  I wanted to die, but then the ambulance people would have found it.  You just KNOW that when you get up the chair will be creamed!  I can't believe I'm writing this!  So, I waited about 45 minutes and couldn't stand it.  I told them "I think I have to go to the bathroom"  I'm sure when they were taking me off they were thinking "MY GOD you must have already went"!  And they would have been right!  So, I get up and go to the bathroom and it was only a little bit.  But, still!  When my run was over I grabbed my stuff and was OUT of there.  I took an Immodium everytime run for about two months.... just in case.   

[angieskidney]

lol that reminds me when I was hospitalized last year and was at the hospital unit instead of the Self Care one I am at now. I was still an in-patient so I had my gown with the open rear and they had me on so much laxitives because I had gotten so constipated for some reason while I was in hospital for over a month. So anyway, I am in my dialysis chair, hooked up, still new to it all, and realize I have to go. You know how it is. You fart hoping to relieve some gas and realize CRAP I HAVE TO GO!! But since it was the hospital unit they have these curtains and bed pans and they don't disconnect you for anything ... so here I am trying with one arm while the other is still connect to the HD, to get all my gown up so none of it is in the bedpan cuz I know I will be stuck with a nasty gown if I don't. Man that was fun and I felt bad for all the neighbours! 

I can't believe I just said that! Look what you got out of me Rerun!

[babi68]

rerun and angie, gosh you made me laugh. I haven't pooped myself but sometimes when I nap I suddenly wake up and think, 'Did I just fart or what?', however, I just hold on for the 5 hours I am hooked on. I get into my car when I am finished and then I let them rip. They are beauties. you can get disconnected if you need to go,but I find that embarrassing as everyone knows why you are getting disconnected and where you are off too, even though it is a normal function, its still embarrassing... back on topic...I usually have the same chair, but there is one spot I can't stand as they dont turn off the light, so if I am in that spot I change it. I let the nurses know and they don't seem to mind. I set up myself so it really makes no difference to them. I am happy if I am sitting next to people I like and can chat with. Haven't really been next to farters lately, but alot of snorers. Liz

[nkviking75]

I've managed to avoid "accidents" except for one time when I tried to use a plastic urinal while seated.  It didn't all get into the urinal for some reason.  So on the rare occasions I use one on treatment, I stand up.  And in a way this is on topic.  There are four rows of chairs in my unit.  Two rows are against the far walls, and the other two are back to back and separated by a wall just slightly taller than the chairs.  I don't like to use a urinal when seated in one of those chairs.  If a staff member gets close to the wall they can see what I'm doing.  Since they are almost all female, I find that inhibiting to the task.  As medical workers they may not care, but I do.  The other people on that side of the wall can see me standing up but not the "naughty bits", but I still draw attention to myself.

Once a week I get stuck with a chair where the machine is on the wrong side.  I have to deal with the tubing going across my chest.  My movement is even more limited than usual.

[tubes]

OMG....LMFAO     Thanx, nice stories rerun and angie.  hehehe
That hasn't happened to me YET ! ! !  I won't let 'em rip in the unit.  I have to hold it until I get out to my car.  lol.....

About that guy the is always letting 'em rip.  When I first found out about him (smelled him)  I told the charge nurse if YOU EVER sit me by him I will walk out.  After that, they never sat me anywhere close to him.
This one guy will walk out if they sit him under a vent.  MAN, I should of thought of that. 

[angieskidney]

lol if I waited til I got outside i wouldn't wait til I got into a car. My cab driver would kill me lol! 

[BigSky]

A long time ago they had an old guy that would seat next to me.  He had a colostomy bag and he would "burp" it I guess you say.  Could the old guy do it before he came?  Oh heck no!  He had to do it once he was on the machine.  That has to be the rankest smell.   

[RichardMEL]

back on topic a bit from this interesting digression

We have mostly those medicine green chairs that someone mentioned on page 1 - comfy initially but pure hell after 3 or so hours.. and I have a 5 hour session so by the time that is up GETTING UP is one of the most wonderful acts of the day!! LOL. I have tried a few pillows and other things but they don't help too much.. I need to find a better solution because I am SURE it is no good for my back !

[Panda_9]

When I was in hospital once I was sitting on the bed reading and I thought I just need to pass wind (quite a bit), so I did it and OMG I did more than just a little bit. I didnt care about the man next to me hearing me fart coz he was a cranky old prick. I then had to tell the nurse who was looking after, it was probly the most embarrasing moment of my life. What made it worse was it was a young male nurse lol

[Zach]

back on topic a bit from this interesting digression

We have mostly those medicine green chairs that someone mentioned on page 1 - comfy initially but pure hell after 3 or so hours.. and I have a 5 hour session so by the time that is up GETTING UP is one of the most wonderful acts of the day!! LOL. I have tried a few pillows and other things but they don't help too much.. I need to find a better solution because I am SURE it is no good for my back !

I've been on many a dialysis chair, and very few are "comfy".  The best here in the States that I've found isn't a true dialysis chair, it's a Lazy Boy chair.  But 4.5 hours and 5 hours are no match.

[RichardMEL]

I dream of the day we could have like a lazy boy!

damn my back is hurting just thinking about being back again for another 5+ hours tomorrow

[kitkatz]

I hate these new chairs we have in the unit.  Instead of going backwards the foot rest comes up and the chair slides out instead of back.  So you end up with your butt sliding out from under you instead of sitting back with the feet up.  Hate them!  There is no way to get comfortable.  They have promised new machines and chairs by the end of December.  I bet the chairs will suck big time!

[BigSky]

I've been on many a dialysis chair, and very few are "comfy".  The best here in the States that I've found isn't a true dialysis chair, it's a Lazy Boy chair.  But 4.5 hours and 5 hours are no match.

I have tried to suggest myself to be a test subject for a nice heat and massage Lazy Boy chair but so far it isnt happening.

[susie q]

One thing about my trip to the Dominican Republic... the chairs they have are awesome..
remote control on the armrest... will go as flat as a bed or any position you like.. very nice.
I'm in a bed at my unit because of back problems... can't stand the chairs here. 

[tubes]

I hate these new chairs we have in the unit. Instead of going backwards the foot rest comes up and the chair slides out instead of back. So you end up with your butt sliding out from under you instead of sitting back with the feet up. Hate them! There is no way to get comfortable. They have promised new machines and chairs by the end of December. I bet the chairs will suck big time!

I know the feeling kit.  When i went on vacation to Houston.  The unit had the same chairs.  It was the worst month of dialyzing ever.  Never Going Back There ! ! !

[angieskidney]

I hate these new chairs we have in the unit.  Instead of going backwards the foot rest comes up and the chair slides out instead of back.  So you end up with your butt sliding out from under you instead of sitting back with the feet up.  Hate them!  There is no way to get comfortable.  They have promised new machines and chairs by the end of December.  I bet the chairs will suck big time!

Ya that is the kind I have and I feel like telling the nurse to grab my shoulders and help me fricken forward and I am not even that old! What do the older patients do? Man!! I mean come on who designs these frickan chairs!!!!! 

[kitkatz]

Some sick, twisted, morbid person with a sick sense of what a chair should be designed the damn things.  Obviously they did not sit in them for four hours or try to get comfortable! Or try to keep their stuff on the small table beside you.

[angieskidney]

Some sick, twisted, morbid person with a sick sense of what a chair should be designed the damn things.  Obviously they did not sit in them for four hours or try to get comfortable! Or try to keep their stuff on the small table beside you.

Oh ya don't even get me Started on that small side table!! Crap the nurse always bumps her butt into it and doesn't even seem to notice or even CARE that she just knocked my ice over and then doesn't get me another!!

Yesterday I asked for ice and the nurse said something about .8 being the max allowable to add on as drinks and ice on the machine and didn't get me the ice I asked for!! I had to ask another patients wife to get me my damned ice! 

As it is when I weighed myself once off the machine I was right on target even with having the ice that wife brought me!! 

[Rerun]

THAT is when you would like to tie them to a chair for 3 hours with no ice.   

[sandman]

THAT is when you would like to tie them to a chair for 3 hours with no ice.   

More like tie the nurse to the chair and ignore them for 4 hours.