----- A Dialysis poem by "Epoman" ------

[Epoman]

Here is a poem I wrote while at in-center hemo at a Duh-vita.

A Place

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There is a place that I know where people go to save their life,
a place where normal people have no idea of the turmoil that
goes inside this place. Sadness, despair,lonelyness, severe emotional
trauma. The kind of trauma that makes you wonder when will it
be my time and knowing it's only a matter of time until you're in
the same deathline as the person next to you. There is no cure,
there is no hope, we just need to try to cope. Everyday is a battle
wondering why this happened to me, I live because a machine keeps
me alive. Hooked to a machine is no way to live, even if it's only 3
times a week you may say. I dare you you to sit in my place for just
one of those days. New patients make me sad, I see in their eyes
confusion and fear. I want to tell them don't worry it will be alright
but it won't be they will have many sleepless nights. They try to act
strong and did I, but you know they to wonder why? why them?
why me? What did I do to deserve such a fate. And you wonder
why I am always late to this place where people are saved by a
machine, would you be in a rush to be flushed? I think not. Oh did
I mention I might clot? this place allows me to urinate through my
blood, it takes out the bad, to bad it can't take out the sad. Am I
bitter am I mad more than you could ever understand. You can try
to understand but just pray you are never forced to understand.
I will have no choice but to come to this place until the day they roll
me out in a crate. That is the day my suffering ends once and for all.
Will I miss this place? not at all.

Bill "Epoman" Halcomb

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[goofynina]

THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME CRY epoMAN!!!!  THAT HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD,  CANT SAY IT ANY BETTER THAN THAT, THATS FOR SURE.....  NICELY SAID BIG GUY........


damn dude, is there ANYTHING that you DONT do???  crazy man, crrrraaaaaaazy

[kitkatz]

Niiiice poem!  Epoman has talent!

[angieskidney]

wow that is a deep and insightful poem Can I send that one to my mom too (in email?)

[Rerun]

I liked the part about "it takes out the bad why can't it take out the sad."

[Sluff]

  Nice Epoman

[kitkatz]

Wow! Epoman I read your poem again. How many thoughts you just put into words I cannot say!
Makes me tear up knowing I gotta go back there tomorrow.  Oh well...

[Epoman]

BUMP  for the NEW members. 

- Epoman

[okarol]

... too sad ... breaks my heart

[Sluff]

 

[anja]

Well said, Epoman!

[tubes]

 

[goofynina]

   I MISS YOU SUCKA FISH.....

[okarol]

I read his poem again the other day. Reminds me how much he struggled. And that now his
"suffering ends once and for all." I miss him too.

[kitkatz]

I see his posts amd miss him.

[okarol]

I read some of the PM's he sent me today.
Wish I could thank him again.
  Thanks Epoman.

[Adam_W]

I just read this again, and it brings a tear to my eye every time I read it. I really wish I'd gotten to know Epoman. RIP, Bill 

Adam

[Kitsune]

I never got to know Epoman personally, but even though I am not in the boat of not being healthy enough to get a kidney transplant this poem made me cry. I still have hope, as I am eligible for a kidney, but you never know what might happen later on. I hope I never am in a situation like Epoman's where there is no hope for a kidney and the only way I can leave this seemingly unending misery is through death. I am sad for Epoman's family that he passed, but am happy he no longer has to suffer. Rest In Peace Epoman, you suffered long enough.

[INDY REID]

      You said it man.  You spoke the words I can't get out cause I'm too mad to!!!!!!  Thank you

[glitter]

 

bump for the new people!

[tyefly]

Kind of negative.....   He seems to be angry.........  I hope later in his life that he had more postive thoughts about Dialysis and CKD......   

[glitter]

He did actually- he was an NXStage user and was thrilled with it- however he did pass away at a very young age.

and as far as it being negative- it was just sad to me- the rawness of his struggle and the frankness of his emotions are layed bare for all to see....Epoman had the balls to be who he really was-like him or not.

[paris]

Thanks for bumping this Glitter.   He was extremely honest with his emotions.  He helped others to be honest.  But, he had joy in his life - read his posts about his son and you can see the huge love and pride he had for Epokid.   

[tyefly]

 I agree  he did die young...... I hate to see that....   Like your hubby.....  I have read your story too....  When I first came to IHD  learning everything that  I could about this CKD  and dialysis stuff..... ( I had not even heard of dialysis before this )  I was very surprised and scared when I read that people die so young because of this....  I feel sorry for these people...  and for the people who die of cancer....( my mother died in 2005 at 65 of cancer )  All of this make a person feel pretty humble....and it does make you think differently about life..... Now with Karol  and her daugher Jenna......  Well  It makes you want to enjoy life today  and  not worry about tomorrow.... and for sure done even worry about yesterday.....   

[never stops]

wow you spoke my feelings thanks for just keeping it real