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Author Topic: relationships  (Read 31501 times)
RichardMEL
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« Reply #50 on: August 25, 2008, 05:18:08 AM »

I think the flirting baton has been passed......

 ;D
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
Deanne
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« Reply #51 on: August 25, 2008, 08:04:27 AM »

I've never really had a relationship. My closest thing was a close friendship with a gay guy. We dated for a short while before he admitted he was gay. In my teens, I felt like damaged goods because of my kidney disease. I should have been in counseling, but I don't have a communicative family and I couldn't tell them I was having problems coping with life. Then later, I didn't even know how to be in a relationship. I know there must be rules, but I haven't the foggiest idea what they are / how it all works. In the middle of all that, I've never had much of a sex drive, so I didn't have a lot of motivation to figure it out. I became a independent, committment-phobic person. If someone shows any interest in me, either I don't notice it, or if I do notice, I'm likely to run screaming in panic in the opposite direction.
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Deanne

1972: Diagnosed with "chronic kidney disease" (no specific diagnosis)
1994: Diagnosed with FSGS
September 2011: On transplant list with 15 - 20% function
September 2013: ~7% function. Started PD dialysis
February 11, 2014: Transplant from deceased donor. Creatinine 0.57 on 2/13/2014
Joe Paul
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« Reply #52 on: August 25, 2008, 08:41:23 AM »

maybe you all should reopen Renal Romance
Last time I looked, it is still opened.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2008, 10:55:07 AM by Joe Paul » Logged

"The history of discovery is completed by those who don't follow rules"
Angels are with us, but don't take GOD for granted
Transplant Jan. 8, 2010
paris
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« Reply #53 on: August 25, 2008, 09:01:22 AM »

Deanne,  thank you for that honest post.  I think we all need an outside person to talk to at different points in our life.  And family isn't always the best place.   

Re: relationships and back to Melissa;  we give help to animals in abused homes.  Gently guide them to trust again.  But, a woman in an abusive marriage, gets little or no help to trust men again.  The wall of distrust and fear is really hard to take down.  How do you go into another relationship without fearing that a raised arm isn't going to hit you?  How do you erase the continuous words or "supid" "lazy" "fat" that run constantly through your mind?   

Back to dealing with relationships and kidney failure;  I continue to be amazed at how many have partners who leave or friends who can't deal with it.  Sad.
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Chris
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« Reply #54 on: August 25, 2008, 12:20:05 PM »


.  "So are you dating anyone yet?  When are you going to find yourself a good girl?  You HAVE to get a girlfriend. 

I hate getting those questions also. >:(
If it is so important to you, why don't you go find someone! Here's my criteria. :rant;
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
Kitsune
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Sometimes the dragon wins.

« Reply #55 on: August 25, 2008, 12:44:52 PM »

Don't bother, that's my advice. All relationships are good for is a lot of fighting, giving in, and a lot of headaches. If this current relationship goes bust, that's all there is, there ain't no more. 31 is too old to start over and anyway, no one really wants a long-term relationship with a dialysis patient after they truly realize what it entails. Worry about your health, not dating. That's what I wish I had done, now I'm stuck.
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"Run your mouth when I'm not around
It's easy to achieve
You cry to weak friends that sympathize
Can you hear the violins playing your song?
Those same friends tell me your every word"- Pantera "Walk" (1991)
Deanne
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« Reply #56 on: August 25, 2008, 01:04:02 PM »

What do you mean that now you're stuck?
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Deanne

1972: Diagnosed with "chronic kidney disease" (no specific diagnosis)
1994: Diagnosed with FSGS
September 2011: On transplant list with 15 - 20% function
September 2013: ~7% function. Started PD dialysis
February 11, 2014: Transplant from deceased donor. Creatinine 0.57 on 2/13/2014
Lori1851
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This is me Lori , Dustin's mom

« Reply #57 on: August 25, 2008, 01:35:48 PM »

You will find someone someday that loves you for you and  your health issues. My son had been with teh same girl for a year before he passed away. His sickness never was an issue with them. She knew he was sick in the beginning and stayed with him till the end and still lives with us.
Keep that chin up! There are still good men out their ;)

Lori/Indiana
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paris
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« Reply #58 on: August 25, 2008, 02:45:01 PM »

I agree, Lori.    And how is Jasmine doing?
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
RichardMEL
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« Reply #59 on: August 26, 2008, 09:05:07 AM »

Aww Deanne I'm sorry I didn't want you to run off screaming.....:(

You mentioned "the rules" - this is such a pet peeve with me I just had to vent.....

When I talk about the rules I mean all that crap like "If you have a date then if the guy doesn't call back within X days then he's not interested" or when you meet someone and exchange numbers there's this unwritten "rule" that somehow defines when is too soon to call (so you seem desperate) and too late (not interested)... and the funny thing is everyone seems to have different ideas about what these rules are... I bet you half of the miscommunications and angst, at least in the defining stages of relationships, are due to these "rules" and it drives me nuts.

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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
annabanana
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« Reply #60 on: August 26, 2008, 12:11:37 PM »

 :twocents; re: lack of sex drive...I was with Randy for almost ten years. There was very little sex and none for the last 2 years. For some people it's a big deal but for a lot of people, sex is just a bonus, but not necessary.

yeah, and the "rules" do suck...probably made to be broken.
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caregiver to Randy:
HepC and stage 4 ckd
1 kidney removed (cancer)Aug07
Deanne
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« Reply #61 on: August 26, 2008, 12:22:48 PM »

RichardMel, for you I'll make an exception! I'll run you off screaming instead!  :rofl;
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Deanne

1972: Diagnosed with "chronic kidney disease" (no specific diagnosis)
1994: Diagnosed with FSGS
September 2011: On transplant list with 15 - 20% function
September 2013: ~7% function. Started PD dialysis
February 11, 2014: Transplant from deceased donor. Creatinine 0.57 on 2/13/2014
G-Ma
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« Reply #62 on: August 26, 2008, 01:00:49 PM »

RichardMel is exactly right...F the rules...what rules...things put in place by people who don't even know you or what is inside you and they don't matter anyway.  I met my 2nd husband 4 months after first husband was murdered and I called him a week later and asked if he wanted to meet for coffee at a book shop we both enjoyed and his response was "oh thank God, I wanted to see you but thought it was too soon"...again an unwritten rule..and we were together for 10 years and married for 9 of those years.
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Lost vision due to retinopathy 12/2005, 30 Laser Surg 2006
ESRD diagnosed 12/2006
03/2007 Fantastic Eye Surgeon in ND got my sight back and implanted lenses in both eyes, great distance & low reading.
Gortex 4/07.  Started dialysis in ND 5/4/2007
Gortex clotted off Thanksgiving Week of 2007, was unclotted and promptly clotted off 1/2 hour later so Permacath Rt chest.
3/2008 move to NC to be close to children.
2 Step fistula, 05/08-elevated 06/08, using mid August.
Aug 5, 08, trained NxStage and Home on 9/3/2008.
Fistulagram 09/2008. In hospital 10/30/08, Bowel Obstruction.
Back to RAI-Latrobe In Center. No home hemo at this time.
GOD IS GOOD
Robby712
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« Reply #63 on: August 26, 2008, 01:23:56 PM »


.  "So are you dating anyone yet?  When are you going to find yourself a good girl?  You HAVE to get a girlfriend. 

I hate getting those questions also. >:(
If it is so important to you, why don't you go find someone! Here's my criteria. :rant;

Here's my criteria.  She has to be an A Positive Person and very, VERY giving.  Yes I said "an A positive" as in blood type.  Yes I'm looking for an organ and not a girlfriend.  Is that a problem? :2thumbsup;
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paris
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« Reply #64 on: August 26, 2008, 01:29:59 PM »

Ok Robby,  Melissa is O+ and she works with Positive people---------as in HIV/Aids positive clients :rofl; :rofl;    I am done now!   Hope you don't mind the joking around about a really serious topic.     Oh, and I was talking to her earlier and she thinks 2 dates a year would work good for her :rofl;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Chris
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« Reply #65 on: August 26, 2008, 06:19:36 PM »


.  "So are you dating anyone yet?  When are you going to find yourself a good girl?  You HAVE to get a girlfriend. 

I hate getting those questions also. >:(
If it is so important to you, why don't you go find someone! Here's my criteria. :rant;



Here's my criteria.  She has to be an A Positive Person and very, VERY giving.  Yes I said "an A positive" as in blood type.  Yes I'm looking for an organ and not a girlfriend.  Is that a problem? :2thumbsup;

Robby,
Whatabout what kind of insurance she has?
Good insurance, blood match...Bingo, we have a match!
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
Chris
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« Reply #66 on: August 26, 2008, 06:25:03 PM »

Just give me someone one who has gone thru close to what I have gone thru just as long she has better site than I do could be my criteria ???
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
paris
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Gender: Female
Posts: 8859


« Reply #67 on: August 26, 2008, 06:28:01 PM »

She has great insurance :rofl; :rofl;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Robby712
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« Reply #68 on: August 26, 2008, 06:31:06 PM »


.  "So are you dating anyone yet?  When are you going to find yourself a good girl?  You HAVE to get a girlfriend. 

I hate getting those questions also. >:(
If it is so important to you, why don't you go find someone! Here's my criteria. :rant;



Here's my criteria.  She has to be an A Positive Person and very, VERY giving.  Yes I said "an A positive" as in blood type.  Yes I'm looking for an organ and not a girlfriend.  Is that a problem? :2thumbsup;

Robby,
Whatabout what kind of insurance she has?
Good insurance, blood match...Bingo, we have a match!

Chris, I've found our million dollar idea.  Organmatchmaker.com

"Want a date and a lung?  How about someone to cuddle with and a liver?  Kidney and Movie?  Come to organmatchmaker.com...The worlds first organ donation AND matchmaking website!"
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Robby712
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« Reply #69 on: August 26, 2008, 06:33:05 PM »

Ok Robby,  Melissa is O+ and she works with Positive people---------as in HIV/Aids positive clients :rofl; :rofl;    I am done now!   Hope you don't mind the joking around about a really serious topic.     Oh, and I was talking to her earlier and she thinks 2 dates a year would work good for her :rofl;

Lol, you're quite the matchmaker...

Of course I don't mind kidding about "serious" stuff.  I don't know about you...but in my world almost nothing is off limits.   :2thumbsup;
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Chris
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« Reply #70 on: August 26, 2008, 06:35:17 PM »


.  "So are you dating anyone yet?  When are you going to find yourself a good girl?  You HAVE to get a girlfriend. 

I hate getting those questions also. >:(
If it is so important to you, why don't you go find someone! Here's my criteria. :rant;



Here's my criteria.  She has to be an A Positive Person and very, VERY giving.  Yes I said "an A positive" as in blood type.  Yes I'm looking for an organ and not a girlfriend.  Is that a problem? :2thumbsup;

Robby,
Whatabout what kind of insurance she has?
Good insurance, blood match...Bingo, we have a match!

Chris, I've found our million dollar idea.  Organmatchmaker.com

"Want a date and a lung?  How about someone to cuddle with and a liver?  Kidney and Movie?  Come to organmatchmaker.com...The worlds first organ donation AND matchmaking website!"

I can imagine the first argument now after marriage or dating awhile. :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
Robby712
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Gender: Male
Posts: 133


« Reply #71 on: August 26, 2008, 06:41:30 PM »


.  "So are you dating anyone yet?  When are you going to find yourself a good girl?  You HAVE to get a girlfriend. 

I hate getting those questions also. >:(
If it is so important to you, why don't you go find someone! Here's my criteria. :rant;



Here's my criteria.  She has to be an A Positive Person and very, VERY giving.  Yes I said "an A positive" as in blood type.  Yes I'm looking for an organ and not a girlfriend.  Is that a problem? :2thumbsup;

Robby,
Whatabout what kind of insurance she has?
Good insurance, blood match...Bingo, we have a match!

Chris, I've found our million dollar idea.  Organmatchmaker.com

"Want a date and a lung?  How about someone to cuddle with and a liver?  Kidney and Movie?  Come to organmatchmaker.com...The worlds first organ donation AND matchmaking website!"

I can imagine the first argument now after marriage or dating awhile. :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;

lol, Oh god...

"What's that?  You want to see The Dark Knight instead of The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants 2?  Really?  I mean, it's almost a 3 hour movie...won't it be awfully hard to sit through the entire movie without having to go to the bathroom now that you have a working kidney that I gave you???  Oh, Traveling Pants sounds okay now does it?"
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Chris
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« Reply #72 on: August 26, 2008, 06:49:06 PM »

New qualification....
MUST LIKE THE SAME THINGS!! :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
paris
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******
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Gender: Female
Posts: 8859


« Reply #73 on: August 26, 2008, 07:13:05 PM »

Hey guys, I am trying to help!   You may be even more picky than Melissa :rofl;   Chris, you are in the right age group, too!   I have a second daughter; AlohaBeth.  But Sluff won't let ANY one date her!!

Organmatchmaker.com :2thumbsup;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Chris
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Gender: Male
Posts: 9219


WWW
« Reply #74 on: August 26, 2008, 08:58:31 PM »

Hey guys, I am trying to help!   You may be even more picky than Melissa :rofl;   Chris, you are in the right age group, too!   I have a second daughter; AlohaBeth.  But Sluff won't let ANY one date her!!

Organmatchmaker.com :2thumbsup;
Picky not really, as long as the person is a genuine female, has great health insurance, must want to have a dog or even a cat, have a good job, let me finish school, won't have me drive a four door car, mini van or suv/wagon, allow me to spank a kid if he misbehaves, has intelligence, strong will (not a.... one who doesn't rely on someone else making decisions or doing things if they put it off), doesn't mind an insomniac, I wouldn't call that picky. I call it criteria :rofl; :rofl;
Logged

Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
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