my patient hates me!

[Audreysmomma]

...OK maybee he doesn't HATE me, but he does not like me. I'll call him Mr."X", so Mr. X is one of my four patients first shift. He transfered to us from San Diego bout a month and a half ago. I had him on his first day, he was nice, polite, like most of our patients. Well I've had him for two weeks now and he has been nothing but rude to me. He tells me to "watch out" when he's comming in his wheelchair, he tells me I don't stick him right, I don't tape him right, I didn't take enough weight off, too much weight...I can go on and on. When I tell him goodmorning 9 times out of 10 he says nothing, I tell him to have a good day and he just says sure. Am I making too big a deal about this? I've never had a patient not like me and I guess it hurts me because he is my patient and I want to have a good relationship with him just like with the rest of my patients. What do you guys think?


TOPIC MOVED to appropriate section - Bajanne, Moderator

[okarol]

Maybe he just feels like crap. I know Jenna just stumbled in and out of dialysis, never developing a relationship with anyone. And at her center many of the other patients didn't feel good, weren't very polite and didn't pretend to be cheerful. There were others who seemed to do just fine, they were social, talkative and always friendly. They seemed to be handling dialysis better in general.

[paris]

Don't take it personal.  This disease plays havic with our emotions and our social skills.  I have become withdrawn and tend to not want to socialize.  Just carrying on a conversation of small talk wears me out.   So, be pleasant to him and go on.  There may be so much going on that he isn't sharing. Financial burdens, family stress, worry---he may have more going on than he can handle.    Thanks for being a caring person to those at your center. You are very much appreciated

[flip]

Just be glad you don't have me for a patient. I usually hug and kiss my nurse before I leave. I think they all realize that I'm harmless but I do appreciate what they do.

[mariannas]

Yes...definitely.  This ride called ESRD wrecks havoc on your emotions.  I used to be happy and outgoing and now I can barely stand going out.  I fake it big time when I go out and very rarely do I feel like myself.  I am on PD and I can't imagine what I would feel like if I had to do hemo...probably much like your patient.  Don't take it personally...everyone has a different coping mechanism and some people just aren't as cheerful as others.  It's not your fault.   

[kitkatz]

He is probably just trying to adjust to a move and a new center. Give him three months or so after you all get to know each other it will smooth out.  It took me awhile to adjust to my new center.

[Mimi]

Some people are not social butterflys to begin with.  When illness comes to them, they take it out on the
world.  You said he was in a wheelchair plus having ESRD so he probably feels like hell all of the time and doesn't care what people think of him.  If I were you I would just continue to be nice to him and overlook his responses.
I'm sure that is not the answer you want but what can you do with a sick, angry old man.  Be thankful for your nice
patients.

Love, Mimi

[Stacy Without An E]

I know exactly the type of patient you're referring to.  Most of the time I'm pretty fun to be around, but I have my bad days too where I don't speak much and just want to get my treatment over with.

I flirt with most of the female staff but they know I'm harmless so they don't take offense.

Keep up with your great attitude.  And don't every forget: nurses rule.

[BigSky]

...OK maybee he doesn't HATE me, but he does not like me. I'll call him Mr."X", so Mr. X is one of my four patients first shift. He transfered to us from San Diego bout a month and a half ago. I had him on his first day, he was nice, polite, like most of our patients. Well I've had him for two weeks now and he has been nothing but rude to me. He tells me to "watch out" when he's comming in his wheelchair, he tells me I don't stick him right, I don't tape him right, I didn't take enough weight off, too much weight...I can go on and on. When I tell him goodmorning 9 times out of 10 he says nothing, I tell him to have a good day and he just says sure. Am I making too big a deal about this? I've never had a patient not like me and I guess it hurts me because he is my patient and I want to have a good relationship with him just like with the rest of my patients. What do you guys think?

Lucky you. 

You probably cannot say this but I would. Probably get into trouble over it. 

1.  Fluid removal is not an exact science by these machines.  Factors involve the machine, amount of sodium he ate, what his albumin level is, and how his body responds to moving fluid from compartments to the bloodstream etc. etc.

2.  Don't like the way you stick,  tell him to stick himself if he thinks its so easy.  He has no right to complain about others sticking him if  he has not stuck himself and is successful at it.

[lola]

1st 2nd I feel bad for the nurses when Otto start's. He's the sweetest guy but when he was on dialysis b-4 he would not say a word. I always felt bad because that's not Otto but he just felt so awful he didn't want to talk to anybody.




EDITED: Icon error corrected - Bajanne, Moderator

[Romona]

 
Don't take it personally. Like everyone else said, it is the disease. It is devasting. Your best is all you can do.

[Bajanne]

The fact that it bothers you tells me you are a caring person.  So just be your pleasant self.  One day, he will wise up.

[Lori1851]

At least you care how your patient feels. Where my son goes this is the honest to God truth he was talkin to a tech that he just loves about when he was havin a seizre how his head bounced off the bathroom counter the Manager mind you not even in on the conversation put her 2 cents in and  laughed and said "   wouldn't have liked to see that to the tech!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The tech told her to shut up!!!! lol!!!!!  Mind you I feel sorry for the techs and nurses to put up with this boss I wouldnt!!! This manager and I are gonna have words. Im sure Dustin's comment back to her was not nice but she deserved it. This really erks me that she would think someone havin  a seizure would be funny  to watch. What and idiot!!!!!!!!
Thank you for caring about your patients they do not feel good alot of the time, and I am sure hopefully dont mean to be rude to you.

Lori/Indiana