WORRIED

[willieandwinnie]

"WORRY"

 Is there a magic cutoff period when Offspring become accountable for their own Actions?  Is there a wonderful moment when Parents can become detached spectators in
 The lives of their children and shrug,  'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?

 When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital Corridor waiting for doctors to put a few Stitches in my daughter's head.  I asked,  When do you stop worrying?'  The nurse said, 'When they get out of the accident stage.'  My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.
           
 When  was in my thirties , I sat on a little Chair in a classroom and heard how one of my Children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, And was headed for a career making License Plates.  As if to read my mind, a teacher said, 'Don't worry, they all go through this stage And then you can sit back, relax and Enjoy them'  My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties,  I spent a lifetime Waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come Home, the front door to open.  A friend said, 'They're trying to find themselves.  Don't Worry, In a few years, you can stop worrying.  They'll be Adults.'  My dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.
       
By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being Vulnerable.  I was still worrying over my Children, but there was a new wrinkle.  There Was nothing I could do about it.  My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.  I Continued to anguish over their failures, be Tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in Their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own Life.  I wanted to believe that,  but I was Haunted by my dad's warm smile and his Occasional, 'You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home.  Are you Depressed about something?
   
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a Lifetime of worry?  Is concern for one another Handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of Human frailties and the fears of the Unknown?  Is concern a curse or is it a virtue That elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable Recently, saying to me, 'Where were you?  I've Been calling for 3 days,  and no one answered I was worried.' I smiled a warm smile.
The 'TORCH' has been passed.

[Sluff]

Why do we worry? I think it is because we have made mistakes and have already learned what they have yet to learn? Some experiences are so painful we want to spare them the same pain. It is true, like my Mom told me, no matter how old you get you'll always be my baby.

[okarol]

You'll worry "from the cradle to the grave" so said my mother-in-law!

[petey]

I'm 45 years old, and my mom and dad STILL worry and call frantically if they can't reach me.  They try the house phone first, my cell second, Marvin's cell third, and then it's on to my friends.  Like Sluff, my parents tell me that I'll always be their "baby."  Sometimes, that's nice to know; sometimes, I say, "But, Mom, I'm 45 years old.  When are you going to stop worrying about me?"  Mom will answer, "When I'm buried in my grave." 

However, even though I don't have children, I often find myself feeling what my mom and dad feel.  They're both in their 70's, and Daddy is retired and Mom, semi-retired.  They've taken to traveling at the spur of the moment the last couple of years (the traveling I think is wonderful; it's the "spur of the moment" part I don't like).  This is driving my sister and me crazy!  When we can't reach them, we call each other and worry together.  After a couple of hours of pacing the floor, one of us will FINALLY reach them.  They took off for the week-end and didn't think to call anybody and let them know.  I usually fuss at them at times like these, and my mom (the ever-wise woman she is) will say, "I'm just paying you back for all the times I worried about you."  I got the point -- Stop it, Mom!

[jbeany]

petey - buy them a cell phone and make them leave it on!

My 90 year old gram still worries about me.  Both my parents are gone, so she takes over the worrying part - even though I'm the one who takes care of her!

[Mimi]

"From the cradle to the grave."  My grandmother said so, too...

[st789]

Aaaaahaaa. 

Cradle to grave.  So true.

[flip]

I don't have that problem. Both my kids still live close to my ex. I haven't heard from them in years and don't expect to. I have grandchildren that I have never seen. Sometimes I would welcome the hassles that children and grandchildren can bring.

[rose1999]

I'm the filling in the sandwich, I worry about my parents (who are in their late 70s and unwell) - and I worry about my 2 sons (who are in their early 20s and thank God healthy).  And they all worry about me!  And if we all stopped worrying it would make no difference at all to what happens, but one word tells you why we worry - Love
 

[kitkatz]

I worry about my kids. They worry about me.  I wish it were different. *Sigh*

[KT0930]

Of course I worry about my son...the beautiful thing is that he's still too young to realize I'm doing it. I've started worrying about my parents in the last few years, and that's kind of a shock to me, since they've always both been very healthy and strong.

[Deanne]

Maybe worry is just a normal part of life. I need to travel pretty often for my job and I worry about my 7 cats & dogs when I'm gone. Will the sitter keep a close eye on Bella? She's a little trouble-maker. Will Clyde eat? Will Tigger eat? Will Eliza be uncomfortable without someone to wash her butt twice a day? Will the sitter be careful about opening doors to make sure Bella doesn't run out?

I worry about my parents if I can't reach them at my "assigned" time. I call them at 6:00 every Sunday evening. They usually tell me if they'll be gone. If they don't answer the phone, I worry. I worry when I know they're traveling. They're getting older and I know things can happen. I know they worry if I'm late calling them, too. I know they worry anyway, even when I do call them. I live a long way from them so they can't see for themselves that I'm doing fine.

[petey]

petey - buy them a cell phone and make them leave it on!

jbeany -- Both Mom and Daddy have a cell phone, and they also have "OnStar" in their car.  Sometimes, however, you cannot get a connection because they are in a "dead area."  These are the times that make me crazy with worry.  I wish they would call BEFORE they left so I would know they're on the road.  They don't see the point in this because they say my sister and I would just worry from the time they left home until they called to say they had reached their destination.  Silly parents!

[mysty]

Nah.. it's not just worry.. It's love too.. you care, you are concerned.. you know what life offers (crap at times).. so you know what probably will come their way..

I'm also at that stage where you really in the bitter end can't say squat.. but when I can.. i    sense into them!