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Author Topic: Is Society Ready For This Pregnant Husband?  (Read 7036 times)
paddbear0000
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« on: March 26, 2008, 08:31:40 PM »

Weird. I'm not quite sure what I actually think of this. IMO, I guess it's fine, just weird. It kind of pisses me off that so many people did not respect their decision tho.

Labor of Love
Is society ready for this pregnant husband?
By Thomas Beatie
From The Advocate  April 8, 2008


To our neighbors, my wife, Nancy, and I don’t appear in the least unusual. To those in the quiet Oregon community where we live, we are viewed just as we are -- a happy couple deeply in love. Our desire to work hard, buy our first home, and start a family was nothing out of the ordinary. That is, until we decided that I would carry our child.

I am transgender, legally male, and legally married to Nancy. Unlike those in same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships, or civil unions, Nancy and I are afforded the more than 1,100 federal rights of marriage. Sterilization is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights. Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire.

Ten years ago, when Nancy and I became a couple, the idea of us having a child was more dream than plan. I always wanted to have children. However, due to severe endometriosis 20 years ago, Nancy had to undergo a hysterectomy and is unable to carry a child. But after the success of our custom screen-printing business and a move from Hawaii to the Pacific Northwest two years ago, the timing finally seemed right. I stopped taking my bimonthly testosterone injections. It had been roughly eight years since I had my last menstrual cycle, so this wasn’t a decision that I took lightly. My body regulated itself after about four months, and I didn’t have to take any exogenous estrogen, progesterone, or fertility drugs to aid my pregnancy.

 Our situation sparks legal, political, and social unknowns. We have only begun experiencing opposition from people who are upset by our situation. Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender.

This whole process, from trying to get pregnant to being pregnant, has been a challenge for us. The first doctor we approached was a reproductive endocrinologist. He was shocked by our situation and told me to shave my facial hair. After a $300 consultation, he reluctantly performed my initial checkups. He then required us to see the clinic’s psychologist to see if we were fit to bring a child into this world and consulted with the ethics board of his hospital. A few months and a couple thousand dollars later, he told us that he would no longer treat us, saying he and his staff felt uncomfortable working with “someone like me.”

In total, nine different doctors have been involved. This is why it took over one year to get access to a cryogenic sperm bank to purchase anonymous donor vials, and why Nancy and I eventually resorted to home insemination.   

 When I finally got pregnant for the first time, I ended up having an ectopic pregnancy with triplets. It was a life-threatening event that required surgical intervention, resulting in the loss of all embryos and my right fallopian tube. When my brother found out about my loss, he said, “It’s a good thing that happened. Who knows what kind of monster it would have been.”

On successfully getting pregnant a second time, we are proud to announce that this pregnancy is free of complications and our baby girl has a clean bill of health. We are happily awaiting her birth, with an estimated due date of July 3, 2008.

How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible. Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am. In a technical sense I see myself as my own surrogate, though my gender identity as male is constant. To Nancy, I am her husband carrying our child—I am so lucky to have such a loving, supportive wife. I will be my daughter’s father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family.

Outside the local medical community, people don’t know I’m five months’ pregnant. But our situation ultimately will ask everyone to embrace the gamut of human possibility and to define for themselves what is normal.
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BigSky
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« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2008, 11:06:25 AM »

I''ll be the first to say it.

Just because one has partial surgery to try to look like a man doesn't make them a man much less a pregnant man.


If they want to have a child, have it.  But its nothing more than trying to have a claim to fame by saying she is a man and the first man to be pregnant.


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lola
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« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2008, 11:14:54 AM »

When I first heard this I was like WTF but then I heard she was transgender so now it's like what's the big deal. He was born a women has women parts but is choosing to live like a man. I guess they should run with there 15 mins of fame and pray for a happy healthy baby.
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« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2008, 11:20:08 AM »


now if my husband ever got pregnant------- that would be a story

Will this man deliver C-section?

will he breast feed?

where will he find maturity outfits?

I'd sort of like to go to that shower.........
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paddbear0000
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« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2008, 12:05:09 PM »



I'd sort of like to go to that shower.........

 :rofl; :rofl;
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« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2008, 01:19:48 PM »

They were talking about this on the radio this morning. One of the women on the show is a lesbian, and her point was that transgender, transexual, gay, lesbian and bisexual people deal with prejudice and stereotyping everyday of their lives, this couple has simply added another element to an already existing problem. Great for them that they're pregnant, but considering what they probably already dealt with, they really shouldn't have been surprised by the reaction they got from the medical community.
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« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2008, 04:34:58 PM »

she is a man and the first man to be pregnant.

He is actually not the first man to carry a child, there have been other transgender pregnancies like this, this is just the first one to be publicly picked apart.  I don't have a problem with it other than the fact that he is exploiting himself and his unborn baby.  Other families have chosen to do this, but in a quiet and private way as most pregnancies are. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_pregnancy

Some transmen (female-to-male transgender people) who interrupt hormone treatments can become pregnant, while still identifying and living as male—this is possible for individuals who still have functioning ovaries.[4] One example is Matt Rice, a transman who is the former partner of writer Patrick Califia. Rice bore a child by artificial insemination.[5] Another transman, Thomas Beatie, chose to carry a child because his wife could no longer conceive. Beatie wrote an article about his pregnancy in The Advocate, and is due to give birth in July 2008.[6] The Washington Post further broadened the story on March 25 when blogger Emil Steiner called it the first "legally male" pregnancy on record.[7] This was in reference to the state of Oregon recognizing Beatie as a man, which California never did for Rice. Although these individuals are genetically and physiologically female, from an identity standpoint they may be considered "pregnant men".

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« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2008, 09:15:02 AM »

The world's first pregnant man, eight months gone, cutting the lawn

A baby bump straining his T-shirt and sporting a straggly beard, this is the world's first pregnant man - just over six weeks from giving birth.

By Victoria Ward  20/05/2008

A baby bump straining his T-shirt and sporting a straggly beard, this is the world's first pregnant man - just over six weeks from giving birth.

Thomas Beatie, 34, looked relaxed as he trimmed his lawn in Oregon, USA, wearing a top with the slogan Define Normal.

Married Thomas, born a woman, claimed he was like any mum-to-be and said: "To neighbours, my wife and I don't appear unusual."

He added: "Wanting to have a child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire."

Doing the household chores when your baby's due in a few weeks can prove exhausting work.

And, grass trimmer in hand and baby bump proudly on display, this could be just another suburban mum-to-be tending to the lawn - were it not for the wispy, telltale beard.

But the world's first pregnant man, Thomas Beatie, is determined to portray an air of everyday normality, even though he is set to create history when he gives birth in six weeks.

Despite worldwide shock, curiosity and revulsion, married transsexual Thomas, 34, insists he is little different from any other expectant mother and has said: "I always feel so bloated.

"Unfortunately there is no such thing as man-ternity clothes."

He added: "To our neighbours, my wife Nancy and I don't appear in the least unusual. We're a happy couple deeply in love. My belly is growing with a new life inside me. I am stable and confident being the man that I am."

And as he trimmed the grass in Bend, Oregon, US, he proclaimed his determination for acceptance in a T-shirt bearing the slogan, Define Normal. The weightlifter and karate black belt insists his pregnancy has been trouble-free and so routine that he has even had food cravings, for soya beans and artichokes.

Thomas was born a woman, Tracy Lagondino, and was once a Hawaiian beauty queen.

He had a partial sex change 10 years ago, receiving hormone treatment and having his breasts removed. But he kept his female reproductive organs so he and Nancy, 45, who had a hysterectomy in the 80s, could have children.

His pregnancy first made world headlines in March. Days later he was quizzed by US chatshow queen Oprah Winfrey while having a scan.

Thomas, inseminated by his wife using an anonymous donor's sperm, is due to have a baby girl on July 3. He knows, however, that he faces an almost lifelong battle for acceptance from the public and even his own family.

When he became pregnant with triplets two years ago but lost them his brother said: "Who knows what kind of monster it would have been?" But Thomas has vowed to defy the hatred with the support of Nancy and her grown-up daughters Amber and Jen.

He said: "Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire but a human desire. I will be my daughter's father and Nancy her mother.

"We will be a family."

JUST LIKE ANY MOTHER-TO-BE

By Dr James Barrett, Consultant psychiatrist

Thomas's pregnancy will be just like any woman's, except he won't be able to breastfeed the baby.

Although legally male, Thomas appears to have kept his reproductive organs, making it possible for him to carry a child.

For his sex change he would have had a mastectomy and received testosterone injections to bring on male characteristics. In the UK we give patients a testosterone jab every month for life

It normally takes three months for the testosterone to have an effect and for periods to stop - making it impossible to get pregnant. Within six months, the patient will start to look like a man, and within a year he will be speaking with a deep voice and have the traits of a man.

What's interesting is that Thomas was able to re-start his periods after stopping the testosterone injections.

It's uncommon for the female hormone oestrogen to return and for the person to ovulate again - let alone fall pregnant.

It is also highly unusual for a woman who has undergone a sex change to become a man to actually WANT to get pregnant. Psychologically they usually wouldn't want to as that's something women do.

This is a highly unusual case - the first time I've heard of such a thing in 20 years of practice.

Dr James Barrett works at the National Gender Identity Clinic in Charing Cross

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/topstories/2008/05/20/the-world-s-first-pregnant-man-eight-months-gone-cutting-the-lawn-89520-20423249/

PHOTO: Family way - Thomas Beatie is due to have a baby girl in six weeks.
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Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
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She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
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paddbear0000
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« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2008, 12:42:03 PM »

Wouldn't it be nice if real men could actually get pregnant and carry a child? I say, let the men go through all the pain and discomfort!
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« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2008, 12:55:49 PM »

Wouldn't it be nice if real men could actually get pregnant and carry a child? I say, let the men go through all the pain and discomfort!

There would be a lot of families that only had one child if they did !  :rofl;
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« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2008, 06:02:14 PM »

Wouldn't it be nice if real men could actually get pregnant and carry a child? I say, let the men go through all the pain and discomfort!

There would be a lot of families that only had one child if they did !  :rofl;

Or none!  ;D
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Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
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« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2008, 06:13:44 PM »

I think it was just a slow news day when this came out and it was a story that draw a lot of attention(positive and negative). In my opinion this shouldn't be considered a male pregnacy since the person is a post-op trangender and not born a male.  In the end though I do wish them the best of luck with their child and I hope the negative attention that this coverage will bring them fades quickly so they can go on raisng their child.
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« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2008, 07:05:58 PM »

definately not a male pregnancy. she can grow beards and stuff all she wants, but shes still a woman and an attention whore on top of it.
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« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2008, 07:40:48 PM »

But some of the negative attention they brought onto themselves by saying that she is the first male pregnant, when this type of situation has been done before. If it was just a discrimination case against the doctors, there wouldn't have been as much negativity especially from the lesbian groups. If they keep their mouth shut and not be publicity hounds/whores (hard to choose which one to use here) this story will fade and the child will be able to grow up undaunted hopefully.
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« Reply #14 on: July 03, 2008, 07:26:39 PM »



Thu Jul 3, 6:32 PM ET

Thomas Beatie, who was born a woman but after surgery and hormone treatment lives as a man, has given birth to a girl at an Oregon hospital, People magazine reported on Thursday.

Beatie, 34, who kept female reproductive organs when he legally became a man 10 years ago, confirmed the birth to the magazine.

The baby, conceived through artificial insemination using donor sperm and Beatie's own eggs, was born on June 29 and Beatie and the baby are "healthy and doing well," People reported.

"The only thing different about me is that I can't breast-feed my baby. But a lot of mothers don't," People quoted Beatie as saying. He has had his breasts surgically removed.

He told the magazine that contrary to published reports, the baby was not delivered by Caesarean section, but no other details about the birth were given.

The thinly bearded Beatie told "The Oprah Winfrey Show" in April he began his sexual transformation about 10 years ago when he began taking testosterone treatment and had surgery to remove mammary glands and flatten his chest.

Upon deciding to have a child about two years ago, he halted his bimonthly hormone injections and resumed menstruating.

Beatie's wife, Nancy, 46, whom he married five years ago, was unable to conceive because of a prior hysterectomy. Otherwise, he has said, "I wouldn't be doing this." His spouse has two grown daughters by a previous marriage.

She said on Oprah's show their parental roles would be fairly traditional despite his transgender status. "He's going to be the father, and I'm going to be the mother," she said.

The couple, who operate a T-shirt printing business in Bend, Oregon, are legally married and he is recognized under Oregon state law as a man.
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Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
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« Reply #15 on: July 03, 2008, 08:21:10 PM »

the man with a vaginia
had the baby girl today
took her C section
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« Reply #16 on: July 04, 2008, 07:47:01 PM »

 :thumbdown;
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« Reply #17 on: July 13, 2008, 05:20:49 PM »

sometimes I wish my husband could get pg
our children are leaving home and it is sad
they grow up too quickly
but I would have to kill my husband
he thinks stumping his toe is pure agony
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« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2008, 04:50:56 PM »


The Former 'Pregnant Man' Debuts His Baby

By Champ Clark

Originally posted Wednesday July 23, 2008 09:15 AM EDT

It's been three weeks since his blue-eyed baby debuted in this world, but Thomas Beatie – better known around the world as the Pregnant Man – can already say this about his daughter's personality: "She's easygoing and mellow and intelligent."

On June 29 at 8:55 p.m., Beatie, 34, a former female beauty pageant contestant, made cultural history as perhaps the first legally transgender male to give birth, bringing into the world a 9 lbs., 5 oz. baby girl named Susan Juliette.

"She's so precious, I just can't stop staring at her," Thomas tells PEOPLE in his first interview since he and wife Nancy returned with their bundle from Bend, Oregon's St. Charles Medical Center. "Just holding her is the best feeling in the world."

Susan – named after Thomas's mother and conceived through artificial insemination with donor sperm – arrived after 40 hours of labor, with Nancy at Thomas's side acting as his coach.

"When Susan finally came out, it was like in slow motion," says Thomas. "I was full of wonder." Echoes Nancy: "There were tears of joy."

Both father and daughter came through the birth in perfect health. "I weigh two pounds less than I did before I got pregnant," adds Thomas. "And I don't have a single stretch mark!"

At home, the couple is adjusting to their new nightly schedule: Nancy breastfeeding (by induced lactation, a process using hormones and physical stimulation with a breast pump) and Thomas keeping company while watching TV.

Crows Thomas, "Susan is a miracle! And we're finally the family we've been dreaming of."

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20214360,00.html

PHOTO: Thomas Beatie, with daughter Susan Juliette Photo by: Regine Mahaux / Getty
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
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« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2008, 05:06:54 PM »

I wish my husband would have a baby
my children are growing up and it is lonesome
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« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2008, 05:59:03 PM »

Sorry, but I still cringe when I read anything about this person.. I don't care , she is not a man, unless she has a male reproductive system, she is not a man
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Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
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« Reply #21 on: July 23, 2008, 06:45:56 PM »

Doesn't matter though does it really?  I'd be interested to have a conversation with both of them but I've always been interested in how people define themselves and why.  As long as they're decent, caring and not hurting anyone, like all of us they should live in a way that fits for THEM, not anyone else.  I've worked with a couple of transgendered people and their journey is difficult but the pull of their identification with the opposite sex over rides the challenges. 

You're right Chris, she's not a biological male but rather a transgendered female who has not yet undergone gender reassignment surgery.

I still wish them all the best.
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« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2008, 07:05:02 PM »

I would find it more exceptable for her to say she was a man if she went through the transgender process. Forgot what book I was reading in college while doing research for a report for one of my biology classes, but the book showed the process on a man. That just seemed more painful than a transplant surgery.
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Diabetes -  age 7

Neuropathy in legs age 10

Eye impairments and blindness in one eye began in 95, major one during visit to the Indy 500 race of that year
   -glaucoma and surgery for that
     -cataract surgery twice on same eye (2000 - 2002). another one growing in good eye
     - vitrectomy in good eye post tx November 2003, totally blind for 4 months due to complications with meds and infection

Diagnosed with ESRD June 29, 1999
1st Dialysis - July 4, 1999
Last Dialysis - December 2, 2000

Kidney and Pancreas Transplant - December 3, 2000

Cataract Surgery on good eye - June 24, 2009
Knee Surgery 2010
2011/2012 in process of getting a guide dog
Guide Dog Training begins July 2, 2012 in NY
Guide Dog by end of July 2012
Next eye surgery late 2012 or 2013 if I feel like it
Home with Guide dog - July 27, 2012
Knee Surgery #2 - Oct 15, 2012
Eye Surgery - Nov 2012
Lifes Adventures -  Priceless

No two day's are the same, are they?
monrein
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Might as well smile

« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2008, 07:12:30 PM »

My understanding from the article is that she didn't do that because her partner has a hysterectomy and can't have any more children so she/he wanted to be able to still have a child.  Wonder if they'll have more or if she'll go thru the surgery now?  I'm just so grateful that I don't have to live with these complexities and the emotional torture is huge for many of these folks.
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
twirl
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« Reply #24 on: July 23, 2008, 07:16:56 PM »

okay she has a baby
but she was never a man
where is her penis
have children
but
you were never a man
I would not deny anyone children
but she was and is not a man
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