My uncle stopped dialysis

[Psim]

I got an email from my cousin today saying that my uncle had decided to stop dialysis and was saying goodbye to friends and family for the next few days, and would love to hear from me. I phoned him -- he seemed in good spirits and was surrounded by family. It was an odd, but good conversation. He clearly didn't want it to be sad or difficult, and I took my cue from him (it's his death, if he wants laughter and not tears, I'll do my best). I was shook up though. He's a great guy. He's in his late eighties and has had a very full life (eight kids -- who all adore him!). It seems like  good way to die: when you feel ready, surrounded by love. But it's sad nonetheless.

[okarol]

It is sad, but thankfully he has a family who respects his wishes.
Here's a {{HUG}} for you Psim 

[charee]

 

[Sluff]

We are here if you or any family member needs a place to vent or ask questions. I honestly believe he has the right to do it his way under his terms and what a wonderful family to understand this. 

[kitkatz]

Letting go of a family member is tough. 

[rose1999]

He is blessed to have a family who understand his wishes and accept them.  Bless you all at this tough time and know that we are here if you need us. 

[Rerun]

I admire him for going with dignity.  Being brave enough to say "Stop The Madness".   I hope it goes fast for him/them.

Here is a hug for you.                       

[keefer51]

I agree with you Rerun, I hope it goes fast too.





EDITED: Removed all caps - Sluff/Admin

[lola]

 

[CW]

 

[willieandwinnie]

Psim  we are here for you.

[paddbear0000]

I'm so sorry psim. I hope goes peacefully and as comfortably as possible. 

[KT0930]

I'm so sorry, Psim. Knowing he has lived a good life and is surrounded by family who loves him is all any of us can ask for at the end. 

[Psim]

Thanks so much for your support and  It makes such a difference to have a place where I can get so much understanding. You all seem to really get my mixed emotions. I feel really sad to lose him, but at the same time I can only admire him for how he's lived his life and how he's facing his death.  I sure hope the next few days go ok, and the hospice folks can keep him out of pain. I try to remember the words of my brother, who worked for a long time as an ambulance attendant. He says, even though the end of life is sometimes racked with pain and fear, we can still see through that to its dignity, meaning and beauty. But damn, I don't want him to suffer.

[ODAT]

psim you and your family are in my prayers. May they do all they can to help him go peacefully. As someone who is in a place where their loved one has hinted many times they don't want to start, it is hard and quite understandable to have mixed emotions. Stopping dialysis is a very soulfully deep decision.

[mysty]

A very difficult decision to make on your uncle's part.. a loving understanding family that will make his choice go as he wishes..

[kidney4traci]

I agree, what a tough decision and you have a wonderful family who would agree to let him deal with his life choice his way. I hopw you all can support each other as easily through this time and after he is gone.  Life is meant to be lived, and it sounds like he had a good and full life.   

[paris]

Psim, I am sorry for your pain.   How marvelous, though, to be his age, with a loving strong family to help him in his last journey.  I can't think of a better way to leave this world. It sounds like he had a good life and raised a good family.  I hope when it is my time, I am surrounded by those who mean the most to me.   But, I know it is never easy to say goodbye and I know you are very sad.  I will keep your family in my prayers. 

[devon]

My friend at 89 had suffered with Congestive Heart Failure. She was in an endless cycle of going into the hospital only to be discharged feeling better and then a couple months later repeating.  She decided that she'd had enough and stopped all meds and asked that she not be admitted again under any circumstances.  She passed in her sleep a couple weeks later. 

It is often WE who need to accept that the end must come more than then one at an advanced age making the difficult decision.

-Devon

[rose1999]

It is often WE who need to accept that the end must come more than then one at an advanced age making the difficult decision.

-Devon

How true.

[Ohio Buckeye]

I'm sorry Psim.
I pray he is comfortable and free of pain.

[Psim]

Thanks again to everyone. Your support means so much. And I'm thinking of you, ODAT. It's a hard hard place to be, I know. Wishing you and your whole family all the best.

[Slywalker]

Psim - so sorry.  I have no words of wisdom for you.   You and your family are in my prayers. 

Big hugs   

Sandyb

[RichardMEL]

*hugs* to psim.

just over 2 years ago when my mother was suffering from various things in hospital and things looked grim I happened to be there when she told the doctors to end the treatment so she could go with some form of dignity and not fight for every breath or against medication so strong it was destroying her kidneys and liver. That was one hell of a shock let me tell you HOWEVER seeing the peace she was in with her decision and the way SHE was able to say goodbye to us(family) and to organise things she wanted (eg: telling us exactly how she wanted her funeral service, etc) was important. When we could see how at peace she was with her decision - that she was done here... well that was what was important to me and us and what made it easier to handle.

I admire both your uncle's decision and courage as well as that of your family to support him. I have no doubt having his family's love and support makes it that much easier for him to go in the way HE wants.

I hope there is not too much pain or discomfort when the time comes. For my mother it was mercifully just a few days on morphene....

[The Wife]

There are times when words just don't convey the feelings in our hearts.  During these times, we wish we could just sit beside someone and speak from the depth of our being.

I sit with you in silence.