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Author Topic: Dark clouds  (Read 5495 times)
paris
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« on: March 05, 2008, 07:14:25 PM »

They are back, hanging over head again and I hate it.  I am trying so hard to be "up and bubbly" but it just isn't working right now.  Transplant center #2 called yesterday, basically to remind me how slim my chances are. They do not offer just IVIG therapy, but will continue to test anyone who is willing to donate. They are the center that has the sensitized program.  But, as most of you know, after 5 people tested, there is always a reason to rule them out.   No news from transplant center #1 regarding getting me into their IVIG program ---- but I keep bugging them. Maybe they will get sick of hearing from me and accept me.  Medical bills keep coming; always stressful.  And this week, I have missed my job more than ever.  I should be working on spring projects, Mother's Day Tea, end of year parties.  I am tired of having to give up or change so much and it will only get worse before it ever gets better.    I know there is so much good in my life, but I think this week  just took the wind out of my sails.   Thanks---just needed to put it into words.
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
kidney4traci
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« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2008, 07:54:48 PM »

 :grouphug; :cuddle;
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Married - three children.
Alports female, diagnosed ESRD 10/04
11/04  Hemo in clinic
6/07 hemo at HOME! 
2/3/09 - Transplant from an angel of a friend!!!
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Cattitude

« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2008, 08:03:31 PM »

 :grouphug;

Sometimes the silver linings are really hard to find.  Hope you get a break in the clouds soon.
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"Asbestos Gelos"  (As-bes-tos yay-lohs) Greek. Literally, "fireproof laughter".  A term used by Homer for invincible laughter in the face of death and mortality.

Mimi
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« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2008, 09:05:24 PM »

Thinking of you and my prayers are with you. :grouphug;

Love, Mimi
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rose1999
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« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2008, 10:38:17 PM »

Oh Paris you sound so sad, I wish I could give you a big hug  :cuddle;  I hope that knowing we all care about you will make you realise that you are a special person and help you feel just that little bit better.  Hope the cloud soon starts to lift and a beautiful sunshine fills your heart  :grouphug;
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Joe Paul
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« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2008, 10:56:34 PM »

Paris, I hope things look up for you   :cuddle;
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"The history of discovery is completed by those who don't follow rules"
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Clancy1600
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« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2008, 02:54:53 AM »

 :grouphug;  Love you, Paris.  I hope the dark clouds go away soon.
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Ken Shelmerdine
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Life's a bitch and then you go on dialysis!

« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2008, 03:21:42 AM »

This doesn't sound like the  Paris who is my tower of strenghth, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this Paris. I take it IVIG is some kind of transplant build up is it? Are they saying that it's family donors who are unsuitable or that your tissue and blood group are difficult to match. I do hope those clouds clear away soon. I'm thinking of you Paris. Would it cheer you up if I let you loose with my credit card again? ;D  :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;
« Last Edit: March 06, 2008, 05:20:46 AM by Ken Shelmerdine » Logged

Ken
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« Reply #8 on: March 06, 2008, 03:27:25 AM »

 :grouphug; Try to do something fun today. Like you could jet set to Milwaukee and make sure Boxman's hospital gown is the right size.  :)
or you could come along and make sure me and Kit have bail money. :) or last but not least you could come to Milwaukee and get a couple of really needed hugs.  :grouphug;  :grouphug; here they are just in case you can't make it to Milwaukee on short notice. Hope you are feeling  better today.
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Romona
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« Reply #9 on: March 06, 2008, 04:03:50 AM »

Paris I have no words of wisdom.  :grouphug; :'(
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kimcanada
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« Reply #10 on: March 06, 2008, 04:18:10 AM »

Dear Paris:

You always have the perfect thing to tell others that are going through just what you are going through, all I can say is that I am thinking about you today.  Its hard to believe what you are givin, but you will overcome :)

Kim
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xtrememoosetrax
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« Reply #11 on: March 06, 2008, 05:32:12 AM »

Thinking of you, Paris, and sending good thoughts and hugs your way.  :cuddle; :grouphug;  Hugs to Styx, too!  :grouphug;
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Living donor to friend via 3-way paired exchange on July 30, 2008.

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KT0930
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« Reply #12 on: March 06, 2008, 06:20:55 AM »

Paris, so sorry you're going through such a rough time. I wish I had just the right words to comfort you.  :grouphug;
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"Dialysis ain't for sissies" ~My wonderful husband
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I received a 6 out of 6 antigen match transplant on January 9, 2008. Third transplant, first time on The List.
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Rob showing off his pot of gold!

« Reply #13 on: March 06, 2008, 06:27:47 AM »

I'm sorry you are feeling so down, it's definitely understandable why you are.  Is there any way you can help volunteer at the school you worked at or perhaps be a substitute teacher?  Maybe you could volunteer at an Old Age Home or something like that.  Maybe getting out now and then to take your mind off things might help.   Big hugs, you need them  :cuddle;
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Wife to Rob who is currently doing Nx Stage Home Hemo Dialysis.

11/17/09 After 4 years on dialysis, Rob received a kidney from our George.  Kidney is working great!  YEAH!!!!
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« Reply #14 on: March 06, 2008, 08:03:19 AM »

sounds like what you need is a big dose of spring. hopefully today is finding you a bit better. big hugs for you   :cuddle;   :cuddle;   :cuddle;
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KICKSTART
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In da House.

« Reply #15 on: March 06, 2008, 08:18:45 AM »

We all have dark days , hopefully something will come along out of nowhere to brighten yours  :cuddle;
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OH NO!!! I have Furniture Disease as well ! My chest has dropped into my drawers !
MyssAnne
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« Reply #16 on: March 06, 2008, 08:43:37 AM »

No words, just hugs, and comfort.

 :grouphug; :grouphug; :cuddle; :cuddle;
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The Wife
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« Reply #17 on: March 06, 2008, 08:45:36 AM »

 Me too
:grouphug;  :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Ohio Buckeye
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« Reply #18 on: March 06, 2008, 08:50:10 AM »

I;m sorry Paris that you're having a down time.
Come to Ohio and we'll do Donatos or Der Dutchman.
That's sure to lift your spirits.
Wishing you brightr days ahead.
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rose1999
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« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2008, 09:38:48 AM »

I;m sorry Paris that you're having a down time.
Come to Ohio and we'll do Donatos or Der Dutchman.
That's sure to lift your spirits.
Wishing you brightr days ahead.


Sorry but I just have to ask what (or who) is Donatos and Der Dutchman ........ my (british!) mind is boggling  :rofl;
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okarol
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« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2008, 09:40:10 AM »

Paris,
All I can think of is your strength and love as you held my hand at Susie's rosary.
You seem to be a pillar of strength and a sea of calm on the outside.
I pray you have better days. Answers will come, even if there are bumps along the road.
I love you so much  :cuddle;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
paris
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« Reply #21 on: March 06, 2008, 09:59:16 AM »

Thanks, everyone. 

Okarol, that time with you and Vandie was so special. Quietly saying prayers, feeling the love everyone had for Susie. It is a memory I will always cherish.   What can make me laugh out loud is "GeeeJuusss" 


Rose, they are my two favorite places to eat in Ohio.  I grew up there and my family is still there.   Donatos is my favorite pizza and Der Dutchman is good old Germain cooking; lots of pork, saurkraut, potatoes,boiled vegetables and tons of side dishes.  My mother loved it and in her last stages of Alzheimers, it is the only place we could take her.  She love the lemon pie, especially.

Ohio Buckey, I am coming to Ohio in April.  We need to plan a time to meet. :2thumbsup;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
okarol
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« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2008, 10:01:26 AM »

"GeeeJuusss"  :rofl;  :rofl; BWAHAHAHA! Funniest thing ever!
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
News video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-7KvgQDWpU
rose1999
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« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2008, 10:04:09 AM »

Thanks Paris, I thought they were some sort of game you were going to play  :rofl; I am learngin such a lot about world culture.  I'm glad you have posted on here and (hopefully) read all the comments.  Hope you will feel brighter soon  :grouphug;
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paris
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« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2008, 10:49:55 AM »

Rose,  :cuddle;  you are so sweet and you always brighten my day.

Okarol, I am just going to keep repeating "GeeJuusss" all day and it should help my mood :thumbup;
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
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