kitkatz, your not crazy, I admire you . Len tried to work about a year after all his medical stuff started, somewhere around 2002 (for about a week) and he just couldn't do it. He couldn't stand for long periods of time or walk more then a few steps before he was out of breath. The doctor's told him he had to quit or he was going to die. Lately, since he's transplant, he is thinking about trying to return to work (if anyone will hire a 60 year old that hasn't worked in 7 years), but some of his doctors are saying that don't know if he should or can do some of the things required in he's profession. His old job required travel and Len will never be able to fly again, so that is becoming the biggest challenge right now. Time will tell. I have become a coupon queen and have learned how to live on peanuts (Social Security). I do worry about Len's mental state (boredom has become a big issue at our house), he likes to keep his brain engage, but lately he is having memory problems from some of the rejection medications. To all dialysis patients that are able to work, my hat is off to you.