Feeling Sad Today

[rookiegirl]

My Mom passed away 1yr today.  I've been feeling so sad and gloomy.  I can't believe how time fly.  It seems like yesterday because my heart still hurts today.  I guess I'm dealing/healing slowly for my lost.  I sometimes feel as though I'm in denial.  Sometimes I go through my days wondering, what am I missing today?  What did I forget to do?  What comes in mind is always the same.  I haven't talked to my Mom.  I haven't seen my Mom.  Then realty hits and I start to cry.  She is not here.  I can't talk or see her.

I want to be able to celebrate today because I know this is what she would want me to do.  But, I can't help but feel guilty.  I just need to cry it out I guess. 

Just wanted to share.

[CW]

RG I loss my mom to lung cancer in 2001 it has not gotten much easier over the years. She was the person who knnew me best and the person I looked most to please.

I have tried to honor her memory by remembering what she stood for most and by embracing and practicing it. After careful and lengthy consideration I have determined that caring and compassion toward those who needed it most was most important to her. I have embraced this wholeheartedly and teach it to my child and all those who will listen. It is my way of honoring her memory and it is also a very good thing to do.

I always qualify my posts with "this is what worked for me" or "in my case" etc. because I think it is foolhearty and ignorant to assume what is tru for me is true for others. We are all very different and I acknowledge that. This worked for me and I feel that she lives through me and hopefully through all those who embrace my.....uh, her ideas.

I hope my story can help lead you to your own answer. On a personal note I never hesitate to talk to my mom even though she is not here any longer. I feel even if she cannot hear me it does not hurt any.

So far away from where you are
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRB9vI99XgY  <<---I listen to this when I want to think about her and embrace my sadness

[paris]

Mothers and Grandmothers always leave a hole in our hearts when they are gone. I miss mine, too. Go ahead and cry. Sometimes it is the best thing to do. Sending you lots of 

[Katonsdad]

I am sending Happy Feelings your way .

I still talk to my mom and Dad even though they have both been gone for a while,
Sometimes you can hear them resonding back and you feel much better about the
sadness in your life

Katonsdad

[okarol]

My dad died a long time ago, but I still talk to him.
I don't celebrate the day he died, even though I will never forget the day.
For me, celebrating his birthday means so much, so I have it on my calendar every year.
What you are feeling is normal. I hope you get through today okay. 

[kidney4traci]

 
Many hugs your way today.

[Joe Paul]

My mom always said "You can have anyone for a father, but you have only 1 Mother". That still echos through my mind, Mom died March 1994 and it still hurts. Moms are the worlds bestest friends. There are times when I can still hear her call my name, or I see someone in a crowd that looks like her and it reminds me there will be a day when I see her again, only next time it will be forever. Nothing will take her away next time, no more sickness or death. I can relate to how you feel, but just think ahead till you will be with her again. 

[ODAT]

It still feels like yesterday even though it's been 6 years since my nephew passed, three years since my older brother, and almost a year for my dad. I am working on a picture/poem for my younger brother who lost his son. He needs help in any way possible. I have no answer for how to make it easier. Talk to people who can sympathize and empathize. There is a woman here at work whom I do not talk to about it because she tells me 'death is a part of life.' Doesn't make it any easier to accept.

This is the poem I'm working on putting together with a pic for my brother (going to have an angel as a watermark behind it). Hope it helps.


You will not see me, so you must have faith. I want the time when we can soar together again both aware of each other. Until then, live your life to the fullest. And when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart, .....I will be there.
 

[MyssAnne]

My mother died 2 years ago in March. I still dream of her.  She is the most important person in our lives, and when she is gone, there is a hole.

Go right ahead and cry.  Grieve for her. Whatever you want to do to think of her, that's the right thing to do.  Everyone is different in how
they react to their loved ones death. 

 

[Deanne]

  Let your tears fall and let your family here support you. Your feelings honor your mother.

[Ohio Buckeye]

 

I know how you feel.

[MyRenalRomance]

My heart goes out to you!  We lost my mother-in-law just a few weeks, ago.  I simply cannot imagine what my husband, his sister, and my father-in-law are feeling.  Yes, we've talked about our feelings, but - you know the ones - deep down inside . . .
My mother-in-law was an awesome lady.  Took no crap from anyone!  I will miss her spunk and spirit.

They say "time heals" . . . I hope this is true.

Hugs to you 

[rookiegirl]

Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement.  I made it thru the 1yr. but got sick the following day and called in sick for work.  I don't know if the sadness and feeling depress the day before made me sick.  But I'm feeling better now.

In fact, I finally had the courage to put together some family pictures and organize them in a slide show with journaling .  I sent it to all my brothers, sisters and step-father to celebrate each day the memories our Mom.  It was so beautiful.  Looking back on the slides made me realize how happy we were and how much we have all matured.  We have our Mom to thank for all the wonderful blessings.  Looking back at the pictures of all my siblings and the grandchildren, I see my Mom in all of us.  We all are connected thru one woman who brought joy and love to all.

I miss her so much but I'm blessed to have had a wonderful, loving, caring Mom.

Thanks again for being there for me.

[MyRenalRomance]

RG,
Your mother was blessed with having such a wonderful, loving and caring daughter!
Hugs,
MRR

[MyssAnne]

RG, you did the right thing, staying home.  Grief can affect us that way, physically as well as emotionally. 

The slideshow sounds like a wonderful wonderful tribute to your mother.  I hope your family appreciates it!!

 

[Romona]