Living alone

[ODAT]

I am so glad my sister lives 5 minutes away from mom. I've been reading through as much as I can as we prepare for the kidney doc appt this afternoon. I can't imagine how mom is going to do at home alone. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and showering. This will be life-changing for all of us. I'm scared.

[Joe Paul]

I heard a saying, it goes "inch by inch life is a cinch, yard by yard life is hard". Just take things one thing at a time and things will be fine.

[okarol]

 

ODAT - hang in there!

[MyssAnne]

ODAT, it is hard. I live alone, and work full time. There are days NOTHING gets done since I am either at work or exhausted from having been at work.  She can do it, she'll just have to do one thing at a time, and take her time. I found that out..do NOT rush through something, even a
common chore, it just tires you out that much more! 

It IS doable.  She just needs to plan her day and activities carefully.  I forget who talks about spoons, but I read somewhere that a woman used that as her analogy. She had just so many spoons per day (activities). Once those spoons were used up, that was it.  I've adopted that analogy
to explain my limitations to other people.

You can do this. Your mom can do this too!!! You're strong, stronger than you realize!!

[paris]

We are here for you. One thing I have done is to simplifly my house and my standards might not be as high as they use to be!  If I could ask help with one thing, it would be cleaning the bathroom and the floors.  Maybe someone can help once a week freshening the house, laundry and making a meal.  She (and you) can do this, We are all stronger than we think we are---most days!   You will learn as you go along what works the best for your Mom.  Hang in there.  We are constantly learning to adjust.  Let us know how things go today.

[petey]

Joe Paul -- that inch by inch thing is how I survive!  I'd never heard it put like that, but you're right.

paris -- you're 100 percent on the mark -- we are all stronger than we think!

ODAT -- I'm thinking about you and your mom!

[Sunny]

       It must be very hard at times for you and your sister. One thing at a time, that's all you can do. Having a perfectly clean house and gourmet meals is not what counts. Hopefully your Mom will figure out how to adapt to her changing abilities. You and your sister will do the best you can, considering you also have full lives to lead. Maybe your Mom has some kind of home care worker she can get to help with the little things around the house. Sometimes this is covered under health policies or Social Security. If not, maybe find someone you can pay to come to her house a couple of hours a week to clean. Some grocery stores now allow online purchses and will deliver to a house. I am wishing the best for all of you.

[ODAT]

Thanks for the tips and support. I know we will do okay - just a major adjustment. Luckily the hospital is only 15 min from me. I've posted a separate thread about mom's appt yesterday.

[Black]

You and your sister will figure it all out in time and you'll be fine.

The best thing I did for coping with limited time and physical ability if to lenghten the time between chores.  I don't sweep & mop every day, or vacuum once a week, like I used to.  I never do partial loads of laundry or dishes, and most of the dishes we use never get put away, we just grab out of the dishwasher.  All clothes are wash and wear and I haven't seen my iron in years.  I buy groceries when a friend or Mike can go with me and we stock up like there is going to be a famine - in between it's just perishables.  I hate wasting time in checkout lines.  Only the things that live and breathe take priority and everything else gets done when i get around to it, or when i pay someone to help me catch back up.  I've never seen an obituary or gravestone that said, "She kept a really clean house.", so I take time to be with family and friends and do fun things that feed spirit and soul.

[petey]

Black -- loved the advice!  It fed my spirit and soul -- and gave me an excuse (like I needed one) not to go empty that dishwasher full of clean dishes!

[ODAT]

Mom is good about pacing herself now. I just worry about when she is having a problem and doesn't know if she should go in to the hospital. Like any issues that can result after a treatment, throwing up, bleeding. They'll tell her what to watch for I'm sure. She definitely won't have to worry about cleaning and laundry. We'll get her food that she can prepare quickly and make some for her too. The other thing I worry about is that she takes herself to her own blood work and doctor appts. She gets turned around enough now, don't know how she'll do once she gets going. We are looking for the best results and getting prepared with knowledge on how to handle things when they don't go as well. ODAT (one day at a time...) thanks again

[goofynina]

I heard a saying, it goes "inch by inch life is a cinch, yard by yard life is hard". Just take things one thing at a time and things will be fine.

I've never heard this before but it sure does mean ALOT!!!  Great words to live by JoePaul, thanks

ODAT, remember your not alone, we are here for you, we're just a keyboard away.  Good Luck and God Bless you all...