Ignorant things people have said to you

[Annig83]

By no means am I a stick figure, but I am not huge either.  I doubt that I have "I'm on dialysis" on my forehead, but nevertheless some lady decided that her two cents were necessary in my life. I was grocery shopping for myself, my boyfriend and my 8 month old son.  My boyfriend can eat whatever he wants as he is healthy, so I was at the meat counter buying him some salami for sandwiches. An older lady came up behind me with an older gentleman, and when I say behind me, I MEAN RIGHT ON TOP OF ME!!.  Number 1- I like my space, and to feel you breathing down my neck is kinda gross and uncomfortable!!! JEEZ!
So she began talking to the man with her about salt intake and whatnot...I assumed he had heart problems as I noticed a scar on his chest where his shirt was open.  So anyway, I ordered the salami and she turns to me and without hesitation says: "Salami is so fattening for you, and the salt!  Don't get me started!  Are you sure you want to order that?!"  Uh Number 2- What business is it of yours to tell me what to buy??! 
I ignored her comments, smiled and left with my lunchmeat.  I walked to the frozen food section and got some garlic bread...oh lo and behold here's the woman again...she says "Garlic bread has loads of sodium in it, and again, so fattening".  I slammed the door shut and kept my mouth shut as well....
Aisle 5- soup aisle.  I buy the low sodium tomato soup.  As I'm reaching in for a can, the lady literally bumps me out of the way and tells me that soup is the worst possible thing for me!  WTF!???   Number 3- Are you my mother?  Are you my doctor?  Do you personally know me in any way?  UH NO!!!!"
I said "That's it.  Lady, I don't care who you are, what your recommendations are, and frankly I feel sorry for the man with you, in hearing everything YOU have to say!"  She looked at me, turned around and walked off sulking.  

I'm sure I could have said a few other choice words but I decided to keep it PG   Man oh man!

[jbeany]

Well, quite honestly, I get tired of the constant, "Oh, you're so young to have this happen to," comment. I'm so sick and tired of it.           Renal failure can happen at any age!!

*Jeopardy theme music plays*

And the smart ass answer is.....

Oh, I don't think it it would be any better at your age, either!   

[Cordelia]

                     tb and Jbeany.   

[Dannyboy]

Tracy you have made my day with your "responses"...LOL     Usually I'm stuck for what to say "back" at the jerks who say such stupid moronic things, now I have some 'ammunition' 

Annig83:  I commend you for remaining calm and civil, not sure I could have done that.

And when people say things about "...you're so young to have this happen to you..." they don't realize they're implying that it would be OK for this to happen to an older person.   Sheeeesh.
--Dan

[tbarrett2533]

Tracy you have made my day with your "responses"...LOL     Usually I'm stuck for what to say "back" at the jerks who say such stupid moronic things, now I have some 'ammunition' 

Annig83:  I commend you for remaining calm and civil, not sure I could have done that.

And when people say things about "...you're so young to have this happen to you..." they don't realize they're implying that it would be OK for this to happen to an older person.   Sheeeesh.
--Dan

 

[tbarrett2533]

Oh! tb, I can sure relate to a lot of these wacko comments. But, for some perverse reason, your post has got me laughing madly. I had a lousy night after D and you have now brightened my day. I like your style, lady, I like your style!

YAY!! I love to help out a fellow IHD member!! Glad I made you smile 

and don't tell anyone, but its part of my goal to become a celebrity here on IHD 

[MooseMom]

If anyone says anything stupid to me, I look them straight in the eye and start talking about how heroic and brave live donors are, and that will shut people up sooner than slapping duct tape over their mouths.

[tbarrett2533]

If anyone says anything stupid to me, I look them straight in the eye and start talking about how heroic and brave live donors are, and that will shut people up sooner than slapping duct tape over their mouths.

yea what is this... I noticed that everytime I mention organ donation they act like I am asking them to die for me...... they never know what to say...
I think its the fear of the unknown!!

[jbeany]

Best one from last month's surgery... The "Pain Management" team yanked my epidural feed without arranging for oral meds before hand.  They didn't bother to inform the nurse until over half an hour later that I might need some of the oral meds they just wrote a scrip for.  The nurse, of course, then has to order them from the hospital pharmacy, which then takes its sweet time getting around to sending them up.  They finally got them to me, except it was way too late to stay ahead of the pain by then.  Plus, I was having serious digestion problems, so nothing was moving orally into my system to actually dull the pain.  By the time the Pain Management doc got backed to the room, I was chewing on a pillow trying not to scream, sweating a torrent, white as a ghost, and shaking violently enough to rattle the bed.  Doc's only comment was...

" Gee, Ms. Beany, it doesn't look like your pain is being well managed."

I spit out the pillow long enough to snarl, "No shit."  (Close as I could get to sarcasm when what I really wanted to do was tighten his tie until the knot reached the back of his neck.)

It took 32 units of morphine in under 8 hours to finally get me to a level spot again. 

Gee, I love the prompt, concerned care you get in hospital....

[Riki]

Ugh...I know, right?  After the whole peritonitis episode, I dread going back into the hospital.. with the nurses who look down their noses as you, as if you're an inconvenience to them for being sick.... but I think this is a topic for another thread *L*

[Brightsky69]

I may have mentioned this before somewhere....

The last time I was in the hospital I could hear one of the nurses say something to the effect of....

All of the good patients are leaving today and we get stuck with the crappy ones...who never go home.

Of course I was one of the good patients leaving the hospital that day.    

[Annig83]

I got another one yesterday from my "mother in-law" no less.  She was talking to my boyfriend and when he mentioned that I had a job interview this week, she basically lost it!  Back story: it's for a floral shop making floral arrangements part time.

She said; "How can she work?  She will lose all YOUR money" (In response, I'm thinking, uh, yes I love your son and we live together, but it's my disease and I'm the one getting disability payments, that I use to take care of myself, bills, my son, and yes, my boyfriend who is on pain management for Spina Bifida Occulta and currently isn't clear for work, but emphasizing that it's HIS money irked me).
" Her job is to be home with your son" (I've been home with my baby since he was born 3 months early and came home after 2 months in the NICU, I was unaware that it's 1953 and I should be barefoot and cooking dinner and cleaning the house all day; I never go out, I never see my friends, as they are not in the "mommy" mode at this time in their lives, and I don't have many hobbies because of having my son... I can get some of my painting in, but it's hard when you have a teething 8 month old! )
"What is she going to be doing?  She can't and shouldn't be doing anything in her condition."  (Number 1 I am cleared for work from my neph. 2- I am feeling great, 3-am on PD at night so my days are free (besides taking care of my son Carson),4- I would like to meet new people, and do something I like doing and feel accomplished).
"You (my boyfriend)l should be the one working, not her" (If he could work don't you think he would be? UGH)
"How long is she going to be on dialysis?" (Um for the 50th time, till I get a transplant, I've only told you this each time you've called.)

I am worried about leaving my son all day as I haven't been away from him more than 1 night, but I think this job (If I get it) will be good for me.  I just don't understand how she doesn't understand that!!

[jbeany]

How sweet of her, Anni!   Was she a stay-at-home mom?  Maybe she figures she stayed and went slowly crazy - you should have to do the same! 

[gallagherrose]

One idiot asked me if i was a drug addict/ not amused

[monrein]

I used to teach at a university and my first fistula was in my left forearm which often had bruises or bandaids or scabs.  A student who knew me quite well since she'd taken a course with me the year before told me that there was speculation that I was perhaps a junkie and she hoped I wouldn't be mad she was asking me about it but she'd told the "speculators" that she felt sure I wasn't but "hey you never know".  I found this hilarious actually (I was very amused) so the next class I planned a 15 minute segment (turned into pretty much the whole class) on kidney disease, dialysis, organ donation etc.  I was on home hemo and this was in a small town in Nova Scotia (Wolfville) so I invited anyone interested to come for a visit while I was hooked up.  A few took me up on it and most of the class signed the organ donation portion of their driver's licenses.  This was in 1980.

What can seem like clear stupidity is sometimes just sheer ignorance but either way I try to never miss an opportunity to weasel potential transplant organs out of people.
No, the folks I stand dumbfounded in front of are the ones who won't donate after death in case they "need" them for the "afterlife".   

[Riki]

Monrein.. you were on HOME HEMO... in WOLFVILLE.. in 1980?  That just blows my mind... Since my doctors are based in Halifax, and they really don't seem too keen on letting anyone outside the watchful eyes of the dialysis nurses...

[tbarrett2533]

What can seem like clear stupidity is sometimes just sheer ignorance but either way I try to never miss an opportunity to weasel potential transplant organs out of people.
No, the folks I stand dumbfounded in front of are the ones who won't donate after death in case they "need" them for the "afterlife".   

It's official... I just peed my pants from laughing so much!!!    people sure are  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[monrein]

Monrein.. you were on HOME HEMO... in WOLFVILLE.. in 1980?  That just blows my mind... Since my doctors are based in Halifax, and they really don't seem too keen on letting anyone outside the watchful eyes of the dialysis nurses...

Ha...I self-cannulated, did D in Wolfville during the winters (2) and at my cottage in Ontario in the summers (3) so two different teams of home dialysis people and two totally different machines.  The machine tech in Ontario used to come to the lake as his last appointment for the day and then stay for supper and a swim.  My machine in Wolfville caught on fire once...less dramatic than it sounds but smoke was puffing out the front while I was still attached...ah yes, dramas of the early days.  I used to encourage everyone to do their own needles then too and I still do. 

[Dannyboy]

"My machine in Wolfville caught on fire once....while I was still attached."

Good grief monrein!!   
---Dan

[MooseMom]

What can seem like clear stupidity is sometimes just sheer ignorance but either way I try to never miss an opportunity to weasel potential transplant organs out of people.

My sentiments exactly.  I'd rather people say ignorant things so that I can pull out my soapbox and wax lyrically about the heroes who consider organ donation.  That's better than having people not bother to say anything at all.  There's nothing wrong with being ignorant.  Being ignorant is not the same as being stupid.  I'm ignorance about 16th century Chinese poetry, but that doesn't make me stupid; I can learn about 16th century Chinese poetry if someone cares to teach me.

Last year, my husband and I were on holiday in Michigan, and we ate at one of those restaurants that cover their tables with paper that you can draw on with the crayons that are supplied along with the menus.  So I took the opportunity to scribble "I need a kidney.  Donate Life." in every color I could.

[monrein]

"My machine in Wolfville caught on fire once....while I was still attached."

Good grief monrein!!   
---Dan

I shut it off right away, and was all set to hand crank my blood back when my "clever" (sounds better being sarcastic here than accurate) husband thought it would be a good idea to turn it back on to see where the smoke was coming from exactly.  Well, yep it was coming from somewhere inside the bloody (about to get bloodier if I had to rip needles and run) machine...so I calmly turned it back off, hand cranked, called Halifax for the tech.  He came the next day but without the appropriate burnt out bit (it was a wire whose plastic covering got too hot and started to smokily smolder) so he had to come back again the day after and I was back in business. 

Umm, my husband never needled me either btw, since the one time the nurses thought he should try it, he jammed the thing right into my bone, not realizing that it was "so sharp".  He felt truly awful and apologized for months but what can I tell you other than he's smart but not handy. 

[Lovebelle]

Yesterday afternoon I was a passenger in a car that got rear-ended VERY HARD and it felt like I'd been hit in the back by a sledgehammer. I was stunned and out of breath and wondering if I'd broken my back or not. I didn't want to move so just waited for the EMTs who applied a collar and taped me down to a board until I could get xrayed at the ER.

I was concerned about the EMTs poking around my belly and doing something stupid so I made sure to tell them that I was a dialysis patient and had a PD cath. One EMT came over to take my BP and at least had the sense to ask "Sir, which arm has the fistula?" (I do have a fistula even though I'm on PD right now.) I tried to explain that I was on PERITONEAL dialysis and both EMTs didn't even know what that was. "When do you have your next dialysis?" "Uhhh, I have a belly-full right now....and I do my own dialysis at home while I'm asleep." "Oh...I've never heard of that before! Most of the dialysis patients we deal with are almost dead and we have to rush them down to the center..."

Fortunately nothing was broken and I was released. Now another stupid thing is that the hospital ER I went to is LITERALLY across the street from my PD center. Before I was released I had notified my PD nurse of my injuries and she said that if I had to be admitted they'd have to transfer me to another hospital 20 miles away because the local hospital doesn't "DO" pd on patients. 

Well, I'm very sore but at least I think I'm going to be OK. 

 

You know what? this hardly surprises me. I am a nurse and can honestly say we received little to no training on PD. When we studied the renal system of course we talked about hemo and did clinicals in that setting. But PD? Not even mentioned. The first time I even learned the term Peritoneal Dialysis and it was explained to me was the day I was rushed to hospital and nephrologist suggested this modality for me. Healthcare professionals learn a broad overview in school and then move on to their "Specialties". But basically they are ignorant in any other area but their specialty (myself included).
But I am glad you are ok and you made it through the accident. Ive been in situations where healthcare professionals outright scare me! Like when I had a central line. Coming at me with a syringe, no gloves (certainly didnt observe any handwashing), no mask and no alcohol to scrub the port. I send those idiots away.

My favorite dumb line is: "Oh my such and such had kidney failure too...but they died." (Umm...why someone feels they should share that is beyond my understanding).

My other favorite: "You should drink more water to flush your kidneys." (Right on that)

[RightSide]

I wouldn't call the following "ignorant," but it was a bit insensitive:

While I was being dialyzed at my dialysis center, my social worker said to me:

"Do you know how many years you have left [to live], RightSide?"

[then she held up her right hand with 5 fingers extended]

I replied, "Aren't you supposed to be boosting my morale?"   

I understood what she meant:  "Get yourself a transplant and get out of this place before it's too late!"  Of course, since I had no living donors, that was easier said than done.

[Riki]

not only is it insensitive, it's not true.  A friend of mine, who's been on dialysis for most of his life, has been dialyzing now for 30 years.  He has no prospects for transplant.  He's one of those people where transplantation just doesn't work.  I don't see him living to a ripe old age, unless there's some new, incredible medical breakthrough, but I don't see him giving up anytime soon either.

[MooseMom]

Well, my mom was the classic statistic...she lived for 5 years on in-clinic dialysis, but then again, she was in her late 70s-early 80s and had congenital heart failure, but for any clinic staff to believe that that's the case for all patients is just silly.