After the transplant: Donor and financial issue

[kellyt]

It sounds like a difficult position to be in.  I hope you figure it out. 

[stauffenberg]

Thanks for all your advice and comments.  I have not paid him any money since receiving his phone calls, and I have not yet decided whether I should continue with my original plan to send him $1000 a year on the anniversary of the transplant or not, given that he seems to view thiis gift as an invitation to exploit me rather than as the expression of gratitude I intended it to be.

[angela515]

Sure does sound like your paying him for that transplant... but that just how I see it.

[stauffenberg]

By that logic, if you give your parents a Christmas present, you are buying their affection!  The relation in both that example and in the case of gifts to the transplant donor is the same: you are not paying to get what you already have received, which is impossible, but to show your appreciation for what you were given.

[paris]

Stauffenberg, I love that you showed us a completely different side of you.  You do have a very warm and fuzzy side!!  You may have blown your cover as our resident voice of reason!!  Thanks for opening up a very private subject. 

[angela515]

I respect your view on it. I just see it differently.

[Zach]

Actually, at the time of the transplant I had already planned to give my donor a gift of $1000 on the anniversary of the operation every year for the rest of my life. 

And if the kidney failed in a few years, were you to continue with your gifts beyond that point?

[stauffenberg]

Why not?  The gratitude for the gift remains constant, whatever happens to the graft, which is beyond the donor's control in any case.

[karen547]

I am sorry but this seems like one big SCAM, you need to be careful, and just because they decided to give you a kidney, does not mean that you are their personal ATM, please stop sending them money!!

[Zach]

Now he has taken to calling me repeatedly at about 5 AM asking for more money ...

About 6 PM in Manila.

Magandang gabi po.
Salamat po.
 

[Wattle]

Could you please give us a little more information on how your donor came into your life? It all seems very shady.   

Could you make it a little simpler for me? What country was your transplant done in? And did you go through Mitch to get it?

I am not passing judgment on you either just trying to understand the request for money. If money originally passed hands for the transplant, then the donor obviously thinks you have more to give.

[stauffenberg]

Someone made the related comment earlier that these payments post-transplant could be deemed to be payments for the transplant on an installment plan.  But if you consider how an installment plan works, you will see that this is impossible in the case of a kidney transplant.  First, the person from whom you buy something on an installment plan needs insurance that you will not default on the payments, and this insurance exists in the form of his right to repossess the goods purchased which you have in your possession.  But with a kidney, it would be impossible and an illegal assault for the vendor to take the kidney back out of your abdomen, so without the insurance of the possibility of repossession, no kidneys could be sold on installment.  Second, a sale of something on installment requires the backing of the judicial system, which will enforce the contractual obligation of the buyer to continue paying the installments or forfeit the purchased item.  But no court will enforce a contract to purchase a body part, since such a contract, being against public policy, would be void, so again, there is no way to sell a kidney on the installment plan.

From this it follows that post-transplant payments can only be gifts, not purchase money.

[frankieb]

   There seems to be a lot of the story that you're leaving out,  I know you're grateful for his gift but an annual monetary gratuity, I think thats just plain NUTS!  though, my sister(my donor) thinks its a great idea.    

 

Thanks for all your advice and comments. I have not paid him any money since receiving his phone calls, and I have not yet decided whether I should continue with my original plan to send him $1000 a year on the anniversary of the transplant or not, given that he seems to view thiis gift as an invitation to exploit me rather than as the expression of gratitude I intended it to be.

Welcome back to the world of reason.  Good luck in whatever you decide. 

[Wattle]

Stauffenburg,

Why are you dodging my question?  If you are going to put the question out about payments, give us the FULL story.

[okarol]

Someone made the related comment earlier that these payments post-transplant could be deemed to be payments for the transplant on an installment plan.  But if you consider how an installment plan works, you will see that this is impossible in the case of a kidney transplant.  First, the person from whom you buy something on an installment plan needs insurance that you will not default on the payments, and this insurance exists in the form of his right to repossess the goods purchased which you have in your possession.  But with a kidney, it would be impossible and an illegal assault for the vendor to take the kidney back out of your abdomen, so without the insurance of the possibility of repossession, no kidneys could be sold on installment.  Second, a sale of something on installment requires the backing of the judicial system, which will enforce the contractual obligation of the buyer to continue paying the installments or forfeit the purchased item.  But no court will enforce a contract to purchase a body part, since such a contract, being against public policy, would be void, so again, there is no way to sell a kidney on the installment plan.

From this it follows that post-transplant payments can only be gifts, not purchase money.

Your argument implies that it would somehow be a legal arrangement. Since it is against the law to pay for a kidney, any sane person would not pay beforehand, and would not promise or agree to anything either.
If there was an "implied" promise, or a gentlemanly handshake and a verbal agreement, it could still be considered a purchase, even if money was collected after the fact. Anyway, I was just yanking your chain about the installment plan, Stauffenberg. I am sure you will do whatever is appropriate and prudent.

I would be cool to hear your whole transplant story someday.

[angela515]