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Author Topic: Ok so my son turned 9 last week and...........  (Read 3692 times)
Epoman
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« on: June 10, 2006, 01:51:24 PM »

I am sad  :'( he is half way there to being 18 and going off to college.  :'( I will miss him. That is all thank you for listening.  :-\

- Epoman
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- Epoman
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« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2006, 04:30:03 PM »

Not time to start feeling the EMPTY NEST SYNDROME yet, Epoman!
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Rerun
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« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2006, 09:13:58 PM »

Nine years is a long time.  Just enjoy him and his friends and his school activities.   :D
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Sara
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« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2006, 11:09:16 PM »

Don't be sad.  It's only getting better.  He's getting older and will be able to do more things with you, new experiences/lessons for you to teach him.
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Sara, wife to Joe (he's the one on dialysis)

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kitkatz
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« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2006, 11:14:08 PM »

The teenage years are coming. The teenage years are coming! 
You are going to have an ever evolving changing relationship with your son as he grows up. Try to enjoy it and remember YOU will get dumber as he grows up, the you will get SMART. Funny how that works, huh!

Katherine
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Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
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« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2006, 11:24:16 PM »

Yeah but you guys don't understand, he is my LIFE. I continue to fight for him. And I get sad knowing that he will go off to college and start his own family then probally never have time for me. Hopefully I will die before he leaves me.  :'( Understand something I am the stay at home parent, I changed his diapers, feed him, bathed him. I cried when he went to Kindergarten.  :-[

- Epoman
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« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2006, 11:26:24 PM »

I did the same thing with my daughters.  Fed them, changed them, loved them, sent them off to their own lives.  Now I hear from them regularly. I raised them to fly free from me and now they are.  That is the ultimate gift of parenting!

Katherine
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lifenotonthelist.com

Ivanova: "Old Egyptian blessing: May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places you must walk." Babylon 5

Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
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« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2006, 10:39:44 AM »

hahaha trust me, I know from experience! if you raised him right, (which I am MORE than certain you did), when he goes off to college or leaves the house or whatever he decides to do at 18, he will come to realize just how important you are in his life. I always told myself growing up, that I would go to school as far away from home as possible, and move to someplace like California. But now that I've left home to go to school, I've realized just how much I love home. And I wouldn't want to live anywhere else in the world. And I phone/email my parents all the time to check in and see whats going on at home!
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Going through life tied to a chair!

« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2006, 10:41:56 AM »

Maybe you and your wife should look into adopting a little foster child.  What a blessing you would be to that child too. 
Just a thought. 
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« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2006, 08:47:43 PM »

I think its pretty selfish that you hope you die before he leaves you. If he is a good kid, Im sure he will still make time for the family. What about how he will feel when you do die?  :-\
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« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2006, 09:08:00 PM »

I think its pretty selfish that you hope you die before he leaves you. If he is a good kid, Im sure he will still make time for the family. What about how he will feel when you do die?  :-\

Well I hope I die before my wife dies too. I guess I'm really selfish.  ::)

He will be sad when I die, yes of course, but he will also know my suffering is OVER! and he will know that I fought as long as I could for HIM.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2006, 10:12:04 PM by Epoman » Logged

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« Reply #11 on: June 11, 2006, 09:23:12 PM »

Quote
Well I hope I die before my wife dies too. I guess I'm really selfish.  ::)


Epoman,
I can relate to that, just left from visiting my hubby on a telemetry floor telling him that if he goes first I will never forgive him.
On a differant note, have you thought of how wonderful it would be to help raise your son's son some day?I was very close to my son at that tender age,too.We went through alot of struggles together,not the least of which was raising him as a single parent while working full time and finishing college. Now that he is 17 and knows everything, I am counting the days until he goes away to college (365 I hope) and encouraging him to look at schools far far away.
Hang in there,epoman.You're here for a very good reason.


EDIT: FIXED Quote tag - Epoman
« Last Edit: June 11, 2006, 09:56:31 PM by Epoman » Logged

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Epoman
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« Reply #12 on: June 11, 2006, 10:09:48 PM »

Quote
Well I hope I die before my wife dies too. I guess I'm really selfish.  ::)


Epoman,
I can relate to that, just left from visiting my hubby on a telemetry floor telling him that if he goes first I will never forgive him.
On a differant note, have you thought of how wonderful it would be to help raise your son's son some day?I was very close to my son at that tender age,too.We went through alot of struggles together,not the least of which was raising him as a single parent while working full time and finishing college. Now that he is 17 and knows everything, I am counting the days until he goes away to college (365 I hope) and encouraging him to look at schools far far away.
Hang in there,epoman.You're here for a very good reason.


Of course I have thought of that, I could only imagine how much I would love my son's, son. I would LOVE to be a grandfather, but I really don't want my son to have a child until he finishes school. So for example, he is 9 now. 9 mores years of regular school, 6 years of college. that's 15 years, so lets do the math 13 years currently on dialysis + 15 more years = 28 years of hemo dialysis, STRAIGHT, NO transplant. PLUS 6 years + 15 more = 21 years in a wheelchair. These last 6 years in a wheelchair has been a major mind p*ck. Having all of these limitations related to being in a wheelchair, really make life hard and depressing. So I really don't think I can take another 15 years, HONESTLY.

Now if that's selfish. oh well, too bad. NO one has the right to call me selfish until they been in my shoes. (I'm not referring to you, I am referring to aMbEr_79) I can handle dialysis but being in a wheelchair is really messed up. Able bodied people take SOOOO many little things for granted. Things you never ever consider until you are faced in that situation.

- Epoman
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« Reply #13 on: June 11, 2006, 10:14:51 PM »

Yeah, its just like how people with working kidneys dont even realise how much your kidneys do for you, until they're gone...I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be stuck in a wheel chair.
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Epoman
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« Reply #14 on: June 11, 2006, 10:33:35 PM »

Yeah, its just like how people with working kidneys dont even realise how much your kidneys do for you, until they're gone...I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be stuck in a wheel chair.

It SUCKS, bottomline.

There have been times when I am stuck and have to go around a long way because of a simple 6 inch curb.
There are times when I can't go to the bathroom at a restroom because the opening is not wide enough.
I get up in the morning and I get in my chair and I stay in that chair all day and night until bedtime.
Since I sit all day my ass sweats like crazy.
I have lost alot of muscle mass in my lower body.
I can't run or play sports with my son normally, and when I do play sports I'm very limited.
My clothes don't fit right.
My back aches alot because of the constant sitting.
I view the world like I was 4 foot tall.
I have a hard time reaching many items in stores, ever try to look at the magazine section in a book store I can't reach 50% of the books.
Same thing in grocery stores, book stores, music store, etc, etc.
Some people see you coming in a wheelchair and they just don't move.
Opening a door in a store by myself is a chore all by itself.
Having everyone look down at you, literally all the time.
For some reason people really stare at people in wheelchairs, many gimps have told me this.
I can't stand and enjoy a nice shower, I have to sit, even when washing my ass.
Many blocks do not have ramps, so I must use driveways to cross the street.
Going to a movie theatre I can only sit in one spot. That's at EVERY theatre.

AND THOSE ARE JUST THINGS BECAUSE OF THE WHEELCHAIR, the list is HUGE when I add the things I can't do because of my broken hips, yes I said hip(s) as in two.

If you ever want to know what it is like being in a wheelchair, go on a road trip in a car and sit in the car for 15 hours straight, and right about the time you just want to get out and stretch and get the blood flowing again. Think of me, and stay seated for another 15 hours.

- Epoman

« Last Edit: June 11, 2006, 10:35:39 PM by Epoman » Logged

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