Hubby had an accident

[kitkatz]

The adventure continues....
We find our superheroes having the day off from each other.  DW went out with her sister to breakfast, church, Superman Returns, dinner, and even bought a brand new recliner!  OFW stayed off his feet and spent the day recovering and relaxing.  So goes our weekend.

Katherine

[Sara]

Praying for you and husband, Kitkatz!  Hope you 2 have a good 4th!

[girlfriend]

Kitkatz
Hi I am Barb, joined this awesome group yesterday and took the time to read your posts ... You are one terrific lady.  You are my HERO.. to go through what you have is a great accomplishment and takes a lot of courage I salute you!  I recall when i was first on dialysis the hell i put my mom through and not even knowing it. I don't think I could of ever found the strength I see in you to cope with something as great as you two have gone through...
My Hat comes off to One Foot Wonder and Dialysis Woman...

[kitkatz]

Now if Dialysis Woman could just get some sleep and rest.  The stress is making me ache.  I even think I am grinding my teeth at night because the jaws hurt sometimes all day.  I know the tension lives  in my neck and shoulders.  I need a shoulder to cry on and it is past midnight here our time.  Sucks!
I cannot even talk to my hubby he is emotional too and I just make it worse.  I am drowning in my own unshed tears over here.   If I continue this going to become a rant. I am tired. I need to go to bed and sleep. I have not had a really good cry since all of this with the hubby started.  I feel like I am going to have an explosion inside. Like the survivors on the Titanic said: Help!

Katherine

[scyankee]

Dear KitKatz,
   So Sorry to hear about your husband's accident. Something this major changes a person for life.
   It is not good that you are not able to sleep from all the stress.  Perhaps your Dr. could give you something mild
for 30 days just so that you can get some rest.  I, too, am having difficulty sleeping lately from just knowing I have
to go to dialysis and even on days I don't go.

   Years ago I had a nurse put on notice for mistreating my 3 year old son!  Keep records and if necessary contact
administrators of hospitals, insurance companies and any federal agency that might listen.
   My husband is also showing the stress from my disease. His health is not the best. Seems to be getting alot of
arthritis which gives him alot of pain.  Am going to try to adjust his diet to see if that helps IF I can get him to go
along with it.
   Hope things calm down for you both.
  SCYankee

[Bajanne]

Kitkatz, please have a good cry.  It will do you good.  I am so sorry that I can't come and massage your shoulders for you, but please be assured of my caring thoughts for you.  We are all counting on you making it through, girl.
And never hold back a rant.  Let it all hang out!

[Epoman]

Now if Dialysis Woman could just get some sleep and rest.  The stress is making me ache.  I even think I am grinding my teeth at night because the jaws hurt sometimes all day.  I know the tension lives  in my neck and shoulders.  I need a shoulder to cry on and it is past midnight here our time.  Sucks!
I cannot even talk to my hubby he is emotional too and I just make it worse.  I am drowning in my own unshed tears over here.   If I continue this going to become a rant. I am tired. I need to go to bed and sleep. I have not had a really good cry since all of this with the hubby started.  I feel like I am going to have an explosion inside. Like the survivors on the Titanic said: Help!

Katherine

WOW! I may not know what you are going through but I do know that you are a strong women. I can relate with the explosion inside comment, here I was with 2 broken hips in extreme pain laying in my hospital bed in my HOME, and I get a call saying sorry but you need to come back to the hospital, you have cancer. I felt like everyone in the world all took a giant shit on me all at once. I know you have probally have heard this before and it's hard to believe right now, but one day you will look back at all of this I think "how the hell did we make it through all of that" and you will be better off. Stay strong, and remember this site will ALWAYS be here for you, whenever you want to rant or just talk. In fact I have been wanting to ask you something for a couple of weeks now, but because of this thread I have been putting it off. If your curious shoot me a PM.

- Epoman

[Sluff]

KitzKat you and your husband are in my prayers and thoughts daily. I really hope things get better for you both.

[kitkatz]

I am tired, tired, tired, tired. Did I say I was tired?
I am tired of asking for a ramp and getting the run around. The case manager calls the company and I think they have their thumbs up their asses.  It has been four weeks now since I asked for a ramp.
I am tired of putting up with people's s shit, I have enough of my own, thank you.
I am tired of having a husband who is handicapped all of a sudden. I know it can't be helped. He was 18 months from retirement. I am sure he wishes sometimes his wife was not on dialysis all of the time!
I am tired of having to adjust to a new way of life. Isn't dialysis challenging enough for us?
I am tired of Dr. appointments, then more Dr appointments after that one.
I am tired of having to take fifteen minutes to get into the car and go somewhere with hubby and the wheelchair. You should see us trying to get out of the house together. Laurel and Hardy lol. I have to go move the car to the driveway on the sidewalk. Put my purse and ice cup into the car.  Get the walker to the front door, push the wheelchair and hubby to door.  Put the vacuum pump strap and tubing up around his neck.  He stands up one step down on the porch with aide of the walker.  I move the wheelchair around him,he turns around and sits back down in the wheelchair.There now we are down the second step. Go down the slope and bumps, and around the corner to the car.  He gets into the car.  I take out the gel pad and throw it with his leg rest and pillow from the wheelchair into the back end of the car.  He settles himself and the vac pump into the car.  I fold the wheelchair, and hoping like hell I can, I lock one wheel and swing it up into the back end of our station wagon.  I close the back of the wagon.  Go lock the doors on the house. Get anything else we might need.  Get in the car and go.  We repeat this procedure when we get home.
I am tired of knowing things are going to get better.  I want them now.
I am tired having to leave him with a CNA during the hours of dialysis or Dr. appointments.
I am tired of being depressed everyday all day long over this situation.  At least I recognize it as situational depression.
I am tired of giving antibiotics to my hubby at midnight and noon. I am untrained and just do the best I can.
I am tired of being up until one in the morning to give the antibiotic to him.. If it weren't for this site I would be doing nothing at midnight.
I am tired of having to cook meals at home for us.  Isn't there someone who will do weekly meals for me?  The CNAs will cook but God knows what they will cook or if they can cook. We got rice the other night that was reeeealllly intersting.  Ate it anyway.
I am tired of going to dialysis three days a week.
I am tired of feeling like crap warmed over.
I even get tired when I think about going back to work on July 26.
My brain is tired, my spirit is tired, my mind, body and soul are tired!

Do you all understand I am tired?

Katherine

[goofynina]

I'm sorry Kitkatz,  dont really have much to say,  there really isnt much i can say,  except, i am here for ya anytime you wanna play some dominoes 

[Bajanne]

Kitkatz, I feel your pain.  I can only hope that things work out for you, like the ramp, for instance.  Please know that we are here for you and our caring thoughts are directed to you and your husband.  At least you have a place where you can let it all hang out.

[Rerun]

Katz, ask your doc for some sleeping pills.  The bridge between dispare and hope is a "good night's sleep."

[Black]

Hi Katherine,

I can't say I know what you're going through because I don't.  But, my sister went through a similar situation when her husband lost most of his left left leg below the knee and she was working full time.  But she was healthy and not having dialysis!!  How you are coping I can't imagine?!?

My sister's husband has Burger's disease (diagnosed at age 47) and had battled bacterial infection, fungus infection, and gangrene for several months.  (He will eventually, if he lives long enough, lose the other leg and probably both arms as well.)  The problems, and then finally the first amputation, were quite a shock and quite an adjustment; but in the past three years he has adjusted very well.  In a matter of a few months he was walking with a temporary prosthesis and a cane, and totally self-sufficient.  It does get better.  The permanent prosthesis is a work of art and very functional.

Can you get a carrier mounted on the back of your car? (yeah, I know you need another project   ) so YOU don't have to load the wheelchair.  Keep bugging them about the ramp.  (I'd call everyday to see where I was on the schedule. )  Even when he is no longer in the chair the ramp will be easier to negotiate than steps.

Have you talked to anyone at your husband's work or their insurance company, to tell them that you need more help NOW?  Is there a way to get $$ available to hire a part-time cook  who can come a couple of times a week and cook enough for several days, and will follow your renal diet recipes?  Can you pick up several take out dinners from the local hospital cafeteria a couple of times a week?  They prepare renal diet meals every day.  (My Dad's VA hospital has good food and it's very cheap.)  Is there a local laundry service which will pick up and drop off your laundry?  If you belong to a church, they may have a nurse or social worker who will get you some assistance, or the church may have someone available willing to volunteer their time running errands for you, sitting with your husband, doing housework, etc..  Ask everyone for help, the worst they can say is "No." and it won't hurt a thing to have asked and you might be lucky a get several yeses.

BTW, the advice about getting sufficient sleep is gold -- do what you have to do to get enough even if you have to nap during the day.

Thoughts and prayers are with you both.
Lorelle

[kitkatz]

I know my writing here seems to be full of ups and downs, but that is the way our lives are right now. 
We got a good picture of Victor's wound yesterday when they changed the dressing.  It is granulating well and a layer of fat is growing on the edges.  It looks pretty good.  It does not look infected. 
Victor is very quiet now around the house.  I think we need to get out more, but he tires so easily. He is also not too interested in anything outside of the house.  I like movies, I will go to action, adventure, any type of movie that looks good, but he is picky about what he wants to see.  Not a junk movie person.  And junk TV drives him nuts.  I LOVE junk TV.  So he hates it when I am watching my junkie TV shows like Project Runway or Hells Kitchen.  Oh well can't be all things to all people sometimes.  I want to take him antiquing but I am afraid the stores are crowded with little aisles and he could not get to what he wants to look at in the wheelchair.
    Besides the wheel chair is heavy to lift and if we  want to go far in the heat; we have to take my Transam.  I drop the convertible top on it and load him in the front seat and the chair in the back. Put the top back up and off we go.  We did go to the mall the other day, but he did not enjoy it at all.  I think the stares go to him and he got really tired easily. He  is not a mall person anyway. This is HARD on him.
    There is nothing I can say to him that will not upset him right now, so I am quiet about it.  I did get really frustrated with him the other night.  He bosses me around the house. Do this Do that.  I know he means well, but if I don't get a please and thank you once in a while I am going to go nuts.  I told him that the other night.  I think he thinks I am crazy.  So we don't talk about it alot around here.  We do not want to upset each other.  I feel like I am living on eggshells around here.
     Maybe I am crazy.  This is really stressing me out. I cry at the drop of a hat lately. I have to call a counseling service through my work or through Kaiser and just let everything out to someone who is not involved in this crap.  You all who read my entries and respond are a Godsend to me.  Sometimes I just don't know what to do.
    Did I tell you the infectious disease doctor we saw the other week wrote a prescription for Cipro (an antibiotic)and forgot to put how many times a day Victor was supposed to take it on the prescription. So Walgreen's can't fill the prescription until the doc gets back to them.  Second time this has happened with this doctor.  First time he wrote the prescription on a blank prescription pad, no doctor name or address on it.  Like on a blank piece of paper.,  Now how helpful has this been to me at the pharmacy?  I am sure you heard the screams of frustration!
     The superheroes are limping along right now.  The doctor changed the times of the meds so we can get a goodnight's sleep now.  He gets antibiotic at 6a.m, 2p.m., and 10 pm.  The home health nurses do the six and two antibiotics, and I get to do the ten o'clock one. 
    Also I found out we were giving the wrong dose of antibiotic to him!  I was giving what I was told to give him, one antibiotic bag out of the supply the pharmacy gave us.  It was supposed to have been one 250mg bag and one 500mg bag of antibiotics. Well noone told us that and the nurses did not do it right either.  I almost lost my mind in the doctors office when we were discussing it.  The only reason I found out was the pharmacy had called me and asked if we needed more antibiotic. I told her what we had and she said, Aren't you giving him one bag of 250 and one bag of 500?  I said do I have two separate types here?  Yes you do. Oh Hell!  I said. You mean we F'd up giving him his antibiotic!  The pharmacy lady got real quiet and said I will call the home health care and ask what's going on.  The home health care then called the doctor.  We beat them all to it at our appointment that afternoon and straightened the mess out. Yes were supposed to be giving him 2 bags of antibiotic at a sitting.  (Well shit! Noone told ME that!)  I thought I was going to lose my absolute frigging mind in that doctor's office that afternoon!
    Can you tell this is a little frustrating?  And my hubby. love him dearly, just takes the hits and says nothing!!!!  GRRRRRRR!  I want to scream and yell and he just is quiet.  Oh well. My mouth goes completely out of control with swearing when I am upset.
   Now that I have written a book. I better sign off now.

Katherine
Dialysis Woman and the One Foot Wonder (Superheroes in Everyday Life)
 

[Ginger]

Kitkatz,
Your ups and downs here are a lot of what this site is all about. It's good that you can unload some of your frustrations here. (next best thing to a therapist)  I'm sure Victor is still dealing with the loss aspect due to all the complications. It's bad enough to lose part of a leg but then to have complications so that the healing takes so long has got to be hard on him. Glad to hear that the wound is granulating in well. The medical establishment does not do well at checking itself before giving instructions to patients. The pharmacy and the home care nurses both made big booboos with the antibiotic dose!!!  I have found it necessary to read all prescriptions closely before leaving the Dr's office because of missing parts of the Rx. That particular MD who can't seem to get it all on the Rx form should be reprimanded by the medical board especially since it happened more than once.

I'm looking forward to the day when we hear that all is at the new normal in your house and the 'one foot wonder' has 2 legs to stand on.

Bless you for your patience (and your sense of humor).
Ginger

[goofynina]

Kitkatz,  have i told you how awesome you are?   Well, you are, i admire you.  You are truly an inspiration.  Hang in there.  I am so glad you come here and let it all out instead of keeping it in, i just wish there was more i could do for you.  God Bless you both........

[Epoman]

Yeah kitkatz, you know what I think of you and when you have time, like we discussed I can give you something to get your mind off some of your problems. When you are ready just let me know.  AND NO, goofynina I am not talking about anything illegal or drugs. 

Stay strong, life WILL get better. And please get let it ALL out when you come here.

[goofynina]

Well, what the hell is better than getting your mind of your troubles than a little............................(nevermind)

[Bajanne]

Girl, I was feeling your pain and frustration, and having a little frustration of my own, knowing that all I can do is pray for you and send caring thoughts and wishes your way.  But you guys have to keep on keeping on.  What would we do without our official superheroes??

[girlfriend]

Kitkatz, Your a true "SUPER HERO" in my books. I am new here and hardly know any of you, but sure am getting to know you and your husband with your posts.. My prayers are with you both.. God Bless..
Barb

[kevno]

Kitkatz keep strong, you are like a rock to your husband. you are both going through so much just now. I have been thinking about your husband while I have been in, and how the two of you are so great together.

Yours always

Kevno

[Mom3]

Sounds like you have really been through it lately!! The old when it rains it pours-- and you're wading in DEEP water!

Are you eligible for FMLA on your job? With that you can take up to 12 weeks if necessary, or is working all that is helping you to cope?

Hope you will be well compensated financially. Don't know much about worker's comp in S Calif but it has to be more generous than SC!! And there should be help of various kinds out there, but as I know from experience it is never enough. Superheroes indeed!

Good luck, from a "newbie".  Mom 3

[kitkatz]

Thanks Mom 3. You ran out on me in the chat room Sat. Night.  Oh well It would have been nice.  Yes we are wading in it deep.  I have learned to take deep breaths when the waves crash over the head.  I feel better mentally now.  I have been off of work for 6 weeks for summer break. I go back to set up my room on Monday.  School starts back for teachers Wed and for students Thursday.  I will cope better probably by working.
    A CNA is coming to stay with Victor 8-2 m-f, then 2-8 mwf while I am at dialysis.  I hope it all works out. He seems to like the girls that have come in to work with him. He gets them to tell him their life story.  At least he is friendly, all they see of me is hello, goodbye.

[Mom3]

I'm sorry KitKatz. Didn't realize I had! Probably logged out before I realised anyone was in there. I'll tell you a little secret. This is my first ever chat room. I'm learning...

Still holding you in the Light--

Mom 3

[Mom3]

Hope you'll have a good year. I also work at a school (associate teacher) and teaching is a challenging profession under the best of circumstances. Now I really marvel at how you do it!!! You ARE a superhero. Have to be!!

Sounds like your husband is slowly adapting as much as possible. If he likes the CNAs that has to help. Wishing you a good class and a good year on the job.