Funny Things that have happened to you while on Dialysis!

[kevno]

It might not have been funny at the time, but looking back it is now

Fell off the chair while on dialysis, The bloodly arm moved on the chair when I leaned on it, over I went, lucky towards the machine. At least the Nurses/Patient had a good laugh

Dropped my DVD player on the floor, one boring day on dialysis that day. Plus it cost me

While on CAPD the nurse was doing a set change, I was holding the betadine. It slipped out of my hand, all over the nurses uniform. She had a meeting that afternoon and she had no time the change her uniform

Well thats three to be getting on with, please add more. I Do have some more that I can add.

Kevno

Topic moved to Dialysis Humor.  Rerun~  Moderator

[Rerun]

Sometimes I find humor in the fact "I'm There" at all.  I look around at the people at the machines and at ME and sometimes I just laugh!   

[kitkatz]

If I didn't laugh I would probably cry.
 I am known as Hey Teach at the center or Hey Kat.  I do not have a name.
Got hit in the head with an arm pillow last month.  Surprised the heck out of me.

Katherine

[ohhmygolly]

we had a new pct - first day on the job as a pct with 1 year of reuse duty--who pasted out after putting in a fistula needle

[kitkatz]

Oh Lordy. If any tech passed out after sticking me I would be scared to let them near me.  What a story they will have to tell their kids when they get home!

Katherine

[Len]

 the dialysis clinic is mostly a boring place . one day I had to liven it up a bit . a friend of mine sat across the room to me , I was first in the clinic that morning and  rushed over to his chair and taped a remote fart machine under his chair anyway the place fills up   and the nurse Sharon was the one who hooked Gordon up  as this was going on I pushed the button and a loud deep fart sounded in the room everyone stared over that way  a few good chuckles came from the room . the funny part was   neither Sharon or Gordy said a word as both thought it was the other that farted  lol. anyway I let two more out     most of the other nurses had clued in to what it was all about  and were laughing .  I was Sharons  best enemy after that one   

[goofynina]

I would have to say the most embarrassing thing that happend to me was when i had a real bad problem with gas (didnt know at the time i became lactose intolerant)  It would just come out as it darn well pleased,  well, my run was over and i stood up to take my standing blood pressure,  it was squeezing my arm so tight i knew it was going to pop off, and sure enough,   it happend so fast,   i looked up at the tech, my cuff popped off, i let out this loud fart and i flew back in my chair,  i have to admit although it was extremely embarrasing, i laugh about it now,  and that darn nurse still calls me "Windy" to this day, lol

[Panda_9]

Havent really had anything funny happen to me, well I probly have but my memory is so bad Ive forgotten. Our training centre is a funny lively place 99% of the time. They are mad there, but in a good way. The nurse that trained me used to tell jokes alot, which passed the time. And often the nurses come and sit and talk to me for a while, which I thought was great. I took in some homemade goodies a couple of times, and other patients did too. Its an overall nice place to dialyse. A couple of the nurses have left, so the new ones will soon be trained to be as mad as the rest 

[babi68]

When I was learning the machine down in home training I noticed a "lump" under my sheet. I felt it and thought it was a very squishy pillow. The nurse was next to me and we were chatting, then I lifted up the sheet and saw two eyes staring back at me.   I screamed, the nurse screamed and people came running down to see what was wrong. It was only a possum. Scared the crap out of me. Still have a little laugh about it. Now I check before sitting down.  Liz

[Rerun]

When I was learning the machine down in home training I noticed a "lump" under my sheet. I felt it and thought it was a very squishy pillow. The nurse was next to me and we were chatting, then I lifted up the sheet and saw two eyes staring back at me.   I screamed, the nurse screamed and people came running down to see what was wrong. It was only a possum. Scared the crap out of me. Still have a little laugh about it. Now I check before sitting down.  Liz

What do you mean by "Possum?"  Not a real one?   

[Bajanne]

I was wondering the same thing.  And she says 'it was ONLY a possum'!!!

[Sara]

I'm wondering about the possum too!

[babi68]

Yep, it was a real one for sure. It had peed all over the sheet. They had the wildlife guys come in and take him away. We get them in the roof sometimes. One time the place stank and they found a dead one in the roof.  Rotten...Now if it was a big spider I wouldn't be very happy at all Liz

[kitkatz]

babi68 where do you live?  The possum would have done me in. I probably would have left the center.

[kevno]

THE WASP happened a few years ago now.

A WASP was flying around the unit, a Nurse hit it with my notes. which with how thick they are you would have thought would have killed it no trouble.  Could not find the, as we thought. The dead WASP. At the end of dialysis the nurses took the first needle out, I was holding it. I felt a tickle on the under side of my arm. It was that bloody WASP. Well I jumped out of the chair. squirting blood everywhere. Knock the WASP off my arm. Jumped on it, killed the bleeding WASP! Put my finger over the hole in my arm. Sat back on the chair. Which I had managed not to get any blood on, about the only place where there was no blood. Had the Nurse grumbling at all the cleaning up they had to do. I Hate WASPS. The Nurses are not to keen on them now. They get sprayed as soon as one is seen now.

[kitkatz]

Nope, the possum story still has you beat!    I would have done the same with the wasp and freaked out really, really loudly.

[babi68]

I live in the capital of Australia, Canberra. Would rather live where I grew up by the beach but we moved here because the schools are better for my son. I don't like bees let alone wasps. They hurt... Liz

[Hawkeye]

When I was learning the machine down in home training I noticed a "lump" under my sheet. I felt it and thought it was a very squishy pillow. The nurse was next to me and we were chatting, then I lifted up the sheet and saw two eyes staring back at me.   I screamed, the nurse screamed and people came running down to see what was wrong. It was only a possum. Scared the crap out of me. Still have a little laugh about it. Now I check before sitting down.  Liz

Anything like this would of had us shut down in a heartbeat.  Finding wild animals in the clinic, let alone a patient chair is cause for serious alarm.  If the roof was in such disrepair that a possum got in I would hate to see what the rest of the behind the scene operations of the clinic looked like.

[babi68]

It is actually quite safe and the place here is run really well. Possums always crawl into roofs around here. It had got in through some vent. I just ended up on another chair. There have only been two that I am aware of. We haven't had any since the dead one as they blocked it all off.  Now if it was a kangaroo, then I would think the place was falling apart Liz

[kitkatz]

A kangaroo??? You people down under sure have strange animals come visit you.  Possoms are mostly road kill out in the US. If one ever got into a dialysis unit the havoc it would cause would be wild!

Katherine

[Epoman]

A kangaroo??? You people down under sure have strange animals come visit you.  Possoms are mostly road kill out in the US. If one ever got into a dialysis unit the havoc it would cause would be wild!

Latherine

Hi Latherine, nice to meet you. Have you met Katherine?



















 

[kitkatz]

Evil Man. A spell check let it go, too.

[kevno]

I happy enough with the biggest wild thing in our unit being a Wasp Well that is unless kitkatz is in the unit

[kitkatz]

Hehehehe,  I will get you yet. You and your little dog too, Kevno!

Katherine

[kevno]

No chance I have friends in high places. I will set Rerun on you with all her dogs