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karen547
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« on: September 25, 2007, 11:16:05 AM »

I'm going in for my skin graft for the burns on thursday. That is a good thing since it's like ww3 with my parents and I lately. My parents have been arguing a lot and I am really afraid to stay here much longer- my dad is really temper mental, and goes off on mom and me. I cried myself to sleep last night i was so upset and angry. I'm not saying that they cant be frustrated with me, but I'm really trying to do the best that I can, and have been applying to schools, etc. Dialysis has made me a whole other person, I'm always tired now, and get angry a lot. My parents say 'oh u need therapy' and ya maybe talking to a SANE person would help me, and not being criticized by my parents who are both very abusive toward one another and fight constantly! My dad is such a bully it's ridiculous, he thinks he's John Wayne or something!! I would lovvvvvveeeeee to tell him off but am truly afraid I would get hurt. AND oh ya I WAS FREEZING MY BUTT OFF AT treatment last night as well, and couldnt get warm, like damn turn up the heat already cheap basturds. My dad told my mom last night he wont visit me in the hospital because ''he doesnt want to see my sad little face''. I FREAKIN hate him some days
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Sluff
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« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2007, 11:32:00 AM »

 :grouphug; some-days are really hard to get through. hang on to thoughts of better times. Being a father I can honestly say that sometimes I get mad at my son for things that are out of his control, the real reason this happens most of the time is when I don't know what to do to fix the situation. After all I'm Dad I can do anything. It's frustration Karen I'm sure of it. Give it time and a little understanding and let go of the frustration and things will get better.

Remember we are here for you.
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paris
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« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2007, 12:27:00 PM »

Karen, I am so sorry you are going through this. It really is too much to handle.  I don't know what to say about your parents.  Dads seem to have a hard time with grown daughters.  My husband just can't let our daughters be the wonderful grown women they are.  He still wants some control.  But, being in an abusive situation is not good for you at all.  Is there any other solution?  Wish I could help :grouphug;
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Rerun
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« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2007, 02:06:28 PM »

When my kidneys failed (20 years ago) I was married and lived 2 1/2 hours away from a center.  My parents lived 45 minutes away from the center.  So I moved home.  It was awful.  I didn't want to be there and my dad didn't want me there either.  Mom took it from both of us.  I would hear him talking to himself about how he wished he would have never had kids. 

I'm here to tell you that someday you will pick his retirement home!  Revenge is sweet!     :cuddle;
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Romona
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« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2007, 02:40:09 PM »

It seems like the people that are supposed to love yoiu the most. hurt you the most. Why is it when you have an illness you get more respect from people that aren't as close to you.
Here's a hug! I have no profound words of wisdom to offer. But you have my prayers.  :grouphug;
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MyssAnne
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« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2007, 02:52:20 PM »

Karen, I have no words either. Just a shoulder (metaphorical) for you to cry on, and arms to hug you with.   :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Bajanne
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« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2007, 03:43:02 PM »

That was so hurtful to read.  This is not how parents should be.  All I can tell you is that you have to rely on your inner strength.  At least you have us here at IHD  :cuddle;
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Stacy Without An E
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« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2007, 04:49:15 PM »

It makes me angry and upset to hear your story because Dialysis is MORE THAN ENOUGH for one person to deal with without having your family members make you feel worse for something you can't control.  Is there any way you can get out of this situation?  I know it probably comes down to finances (been there and back) but a positive environment would do wonders for your overall health.  Once I came to terms with my Dialysis and found the strength to fight back against all the fatigue and side effects, my life really improved.

Good luck and Godspeed.
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Stacy Without An E

1st Kidney Transplant: May 1983
2nd Kidney Transplant: January 1996
3rd Kidney Transplant: Any day now.

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Dialysis.  Two needles.  One machine.  No compassion.
kitkatz
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« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2007, 05:34:34 PM »

Sweetie, I know the feelings well.  My parents would fight over finances from my medical bills and I felt the blame my entire life.  Remember you are strong inside and can face anything you need to face.  Do not take your parents burdens as your own. Dialysis is enough and growing up is enough.

 :grouphug; :grouphug;
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Remember your present situation is not your final destination.

Take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.

"If we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm gonna lose it. Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill - SG-1
Joe Paul
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« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2007, 12:18:27 AM »

Sorry to hear your having such a hard time with you parents. Hang in there, hopefully it will get better for you  :grouphug;
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RichardMEL
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« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2007, 01:24:39 AM »

*big hugs for karen*

Seems like your parents have their own issues with eachother let alone trying to come to terms with your situation, which is hard enough for anyone to handle. *sigh*

Just on the cold... I'm afraid it isn't so much about them being cheap... just about everyone I know who does dialysis feels the cold. A nurse told me a few months back it has something to do with the process.... I feel like an old guy sitting there with the blanket over my knees drinking hot tea ! LOL.... I think you just need to take layers of clothes with you and a big warm blanket to snuggle under to keep warm.. I suggest layers because there ARE times when you will feel warm/hot (specially if your BP goes low and you might be near a crash.. I usually know I'm in trouble when I start feeling hot and sweat).. so having some layers you can open up (like a cardigan or something) might be helpful for you... I found a lightweight fleece blanket that keeps me pretty warm when I'm in the chair.

again *hugs* for you
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3/1993: Diagnosed with Kidney Failure (FSGS)
25/7/2006: Started hemo 3x/week 5 hour sessions :(
27/11/2010: Cadaveric kidney transplant from my wonderful donor!!! "Danny" currently settling in and working better every day!!! :)

BE POSITIVE * BE INFORMED * BE PROACTIVE * BE IN CONTROL * LIVE LIFE!
Amanda From OZ
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« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2007, 01:56:28 AM »

Im sorry to hear your having such a crappy time. I hope things get better for you, and remember you have us all.  :cuddle;

Thinking of you.

Amanda
xxoo
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karen547
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« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2007, 04:54:36 AM »

thanks guys, I'm feeling better today and my parents have calmed down and it's not so bad here right now. I am just thankful for this site. I will have the laptop at the hospital so hopefully i can chat soon! have a great day everyone :thx;
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